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*im

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Hi there!

I'm now graduated as a Physiotherapist and am working fairly near to London and I have to say its fantastic. Now that I have a little time on my hands, i'm free to work as an agony uncle once again:-)

ZIM

123Next > [3 pages, 85 answers]

Am I his girl or what?

Q.   I have been seeing a man for the past 4 months... We usually spend time at his place. We eat together, and cook sometimes,watch movies,t.v., talk and spend quiet time. We are intimate, and have amazing sex. We truly enjoy each others company ...

A.   18 January 2009: You have had some very good advice here so far. I would say that yes, he is a part of your life. To say that you both are "hanging out" seems to bear the meaning of exclusive. The leather jacket also has this meaning. He wouldn't lend or give you ... (read in full...)

Second date and I want to know where its going

Q.   WEll,here goes.Tonight,I had date number two with this WONDERFUL guy.Im very interested in him,and have taken quite a liking to him.But he is sort of quiet and soft spoken.Im the same way myself.I dont have a problem with that but im wondering what ...

A.   17 January 2009: I can understand your need to find out where the relationship is going. You want a long term relationship that will develop as time goes on. However, bringing up such a topic, as you say, has the risk of pushing him away. One of the most importan... (read in full...)

How would you react if you found out you were dating a virgin?

Q.   I just recently started dating a guy. He just found out that I am a virgin. I asked him how he felt about it after he had time to get over his shock (I'm 22.... it's not all that common to come across..I guess). He told me that he was fine with ...

A.   19 December 2008: I would think it is fantastic! Being a virgin in today's world is such a valuable and wonderful thing. And a rare one at that. If you keep yourself a virgin until marriage/when you're ready (I don't know your feelings in that matter) you then are ... (read in full...)

Why can't I make new friends or meet someone?

Q.   Hi, I'm 21 and in college. I've never really been popular but have always found friends, or more like they found me and welcomed me in. In grade school when I knew no one I became best friends with two girls who were best friends and in turn became ...

A.   6 December 2008: Firstly, i'd like to go through some of the things you've said:-): "I'd feel silly joining a club at school by myself or going to a bar or club by myself to meet new people" This is EXACTLY what you need to do. The easiest way to start friend... (read in full...)

Can I really get married with these doubts?

Q.   I have been with my fiance for four years now and am due to get married in 6 months. I always thought that she was the one for me, but now I am not so sure. My previous relationship of two years (and first love) ended when we both moved away to di...

A.   6 December 2008: One of the most destructive parts that can occur in a relationship is the "ex", especially if they were your first love. To see someone you were quite intimate with whilst also going out/enagaged with someone else will stir up the feelings again. It ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend barely kisses me, why?

Q.   Hey, I don't know why but I've noticied my boyfriend doesn't like kissing much. I mean we pop kiss all the time but I mean really kissing. I just want emotion into it, pops don't really have a meaning. I feel kinda crappy cause like the guys in my ...

A.   6 December 2008: This could be for a number of reasons, or could simply be the fact that he wants to respect you and your body. Believe it or not, there are men like that out there. Has his behaviour other than kissing changed? If not, or if it has changed for the ... (read in full...)

Any exercise ideas to get flat abs quick??

Q.   hi... I'm a 15yr old girl and am wondering on the best way to get flat abs quick, i know the basics. Just want some exercise ideas. please x...

A.   17 February 2008: First things first, it will take awhile. You can't get flat abs as quick as everyone makes it out to be, at least on a normal daily schedule. What you need to do is do partial sit ups, only to halfway. Do these in the normal upwards direction, ... (read in full...)

Let Down... do I have what it takes to pursue my dream career... people say I do not.

Q.   Hey I know that this has nothing to do with dating or relationships but I decided to ask it here anyway cause I really need some advice. I am a 20 year old college student who is recovering from a year long bout of major depression. This depressi...

A.   17 February 2008: Honestly, I think you should try. Does your advisor know about the depression you had? Even if she does, I think it would be best to make sure you're at your best before you go back to try again. When you go again, go in there with your head held ... (read in full...)

Help me, how shall we get together??

Q.   im 16.. hes 17.hes in my school.i like him since last 1 year and 6 months. he knows i like him since the first day .. but hes started to show his interest after 1 year. we have eye contacts, u can actually tell he likes me, i try and be around him ...

A.   29 December 2007: Since you do not have the medium of phone or msn, this makes the process slightly more nerve wracking. If he is as shy as you make him out to be, it is unlikely that he will ask you out whilst other people are around. Go to a place you both know ... (read in full...)

Why if he says he likes me, he does not ask me out?

Q.   Hi I have a great boy mate who I also have a big crush on. We get along really great and tease and flirt constantly. One of his friends told me he fancied me and my boy mate has even hinted and confessed he does. I would love for him to ask me out ...

A.   29 December 2007: In many ways, if he sincerely admitted that he fancied you, then in effect he has already asked you out. It could simply be that he is as nervous as you are when asking someone out. You know it yourself that it isn't easy. Especially that you are ... (read in full...)

Bar verses Christianity

Q.   Me I'm a Christian, my brother is not saved, I do respect him since he is like our earthly father. We usually spent time together and whenever he goes out to town to drink he makes sure I accompany him. At the bar he takes the beer as I take the ...

A.   30 October 2007: No it's not wrong at all. In fact, its amazing that you support your brother in the way you do. Also, the fact that he asks you to accompany him indicates a high level of trust and respect for you and the way you live. I think it might be possible ... (read in full...)

I have a strange habit where my mother is concerned

Q.   I am a 20 year old student who left home for uni recently. But before I left I did something really horrible. I got drunk the night before I left in the house and went and hid in the linen closet in our bathroom. I waited for my mother to come home ...

A.   25 October 2007: That was not good, although it can be explained psychologically. First things first though, no, do not tell her about it. Try to push it out of your mind. Think of it this way at first. You are obviously beyond disgusted at what you have done and... (read in full...)

I don't like situps, how can I tone up?

Q.   wat can i do? I really want a firm stomach, ive tried doin situps, but im shit at them? How do i do them? How many shuld i do a day? Is there any other way to tone ur belly? ...

A.   25 October 2007: Lie on your back, knees bent to about 70 degrees. If you have a friend there, get them to sit on your feet. If not, use a heavy bag. Then put both hands behind your head and bring yourself up (using your stomach, not your hands - they are there just ... (read in full...)

Is he playing hard to get, or does he just want to be friends?

Q.   I have now become friends with my ex. We havent talked in a few years but i have never fell out of love with him. I initiated contact with him just recently because I want him back. i didnt expect him to contact me back but he did and now were ...

A.   19 October 2007: It is possible that he just wants to be friends, but then again, it is also plausible that he is realising he likes you again. Not much of an answer but here are some things to look out for. His body language. If he looks at you fairly often an... (read in full...)

Are there any pointers anyone can give me with striking up a conversation to at least get talking to her?

Q.   I'm 19, I've never had a girlfriend and don't really find any attraction in very many women (apart from sexually) which really depresses me. What I mean is that I can't see myself with these people in my future and that's what really bothers me. ...

A.   10 October 2007: I agree with the Tellulah and phiatiger. If you just go up to her and say something like, "Hey, you used to go to (school's name) didn't you?" Then she'll say yes and probably ask your name. Then it's as simple as asking if she'd like a cup of ... (read in full...)

SITE NEWS: Big milestone..... over 300,000 unique visitors over the past month :-)

Q.   Cool... Over the past month, from Sept 8th to Oct 9th we had over 300,000 unique visitors to the site! According to google analytics we had 302,516 visitors. It doesn't seem that long ago I was posting when we had passed 250,000 visitors/month. ...

A.   10 October 2007: Fantastic! Its awesome how well this site is doing. Here's to many more visits!:-) ZIM... (read in full...)

I cant get her past out of my head, but I need to so that we can have a life together

Q.   My girlfriend of almost two years, “Sara”, just asked me to marry her. She is a realist. And for a women like “Sara” to have reached a point in her life where she would even consider marriage again (as she was briefly married to her high school ...

A.   4 October 2007: It is natural that you are thinking these these things now as marriage is a very important thing and subconsciously, as well as consciously, you want to make sure that you are happy with everything too. Believe me, it happens to everyone. However, ... (read in full...)

What can I do to show her I love her and need to marry her?

Q.   My Fiancee and i are Christian. Bible say having sex before marriage is a Sin. What can i do to her so that she can know that i really love and care and need to marry her. Can we spent tog' without having sex or can i kiss her deeply.Please advice....

A.   4 October 2007: First of all, the fact that you two are both engaged is a wonderful thing and is an expression of love all in itself. Sex is not needed to prove that you love someone and yes it is a sin before marriage. A definition I know of love is that it is a ... (read in full...)

I want to tell my ex how I feel before it's too late. Should I do this?

Q.   I've got to say this or I'm gonna burst, I split with my ex boyfriend over a year and a half ago and I don't think I have truly ever gotten over him. After we split I started seeing someone else and have been happy with him ever since, although I ...

A.   20 September 2007: Firstly, was this ex your first love? If so, then it is not surprising that you still have some feelings for him, particularly if you were going out for a long time. We never do forget our first loves. To give an example, I only really got over my ... (read in full...)

I think I have fallen for my wife's sister!

Q.   i have fallen in love with my wife's sister. i think she feels the same way for me. should i tell her how i feel about her or just keep this to myself?...

A.   20 September 2007: I think you should do your utmost to forget your feelings about your wife's sister. You married your wife for a reason, you said the vows and you love her. Would you appreciate it if she had feelings for your brother/friend and then had an affair? I ... (read in full...)

Does she like me or not?

Q.   (Sorry if I've sent this twice but I can't find my other question) I met this girl at a club, she goes to the same uni.. We startd to dance together then startd to kiss, she gave me her number and I messaged her. She messaged back but I got the ...

A.   20 September 2007: Yes talk to her! However, was she a little tipsy at the time? If so, then she might be a little embarrassed at her behaviour at the nightclub. It happens however not anything serious to worry about. A number of relationships have started this way. ... (read in full...)

What do you do when you love someone you can never have?

Q.   what do you do when you love someone you can never have?...

A.   20 September 2007: Unrequited love is a problem i'm sure we all have in our lives at some point. I've certainly had it and I agree its not fun. However, one of the most important lessons I have learnt is that if someone doesn't like you back there's no point forcing ... (read in full...)

Do you think he likes me back?

Q.   Dear cupid, well where do i start i recently started my new college last week. And after that first week ive been crushing on this lad. But today something came to shock and we sat next to each over and we started chatting and while chatting he ...

A.   20 September 2007: I think he does like you back and it would seem from your description that he is very physically attracted to you. Holding hands, especially after such a short period of time is a sign of affection. However, I would be a bit concerned with the... (read in full...)

My husband is in the military. I want to join the military but I have an allergy to eggs. I'm pulling my hair out as I've wanted this so long. Should I just try to join anyway??

Q.   Sorry my question doesn't have much if anything to do with relationships, but thanks for reading. I've been feeling really frustrated. Right now I am just starting college, but it's not what I want. I have wanted to join the military since I was 15 ...

A.   4 September 2007: Why not? You obviously want to go for the armed forces. I would find it very strange if they didn't take you on just because you have an egg allergy. Does this extend to dairy products? It would be good to get a medical note from your doctor ... (read in full...)

I've been in a 4 yr abusive relationship but like someone else..

Q.   OK I am in a 4 year relationship, we have been abusive to eachother verbally and physically. It has stopped but he is verbally abusive calling me so many names. well we fight all the time but when we dont fight its like were so in love. well ...

A.   3 September 2007: It sounds to me that you are in an unhealthy abusive relationship. You used to physically and verbally abusive to each other and now you are just verbally abusive. Are these verbal comments taken in jest or do they make you feel bad/dishearten you? ... (read in full...)

I have two girls on the go, I don't know which one I prefer!

Q.   Hi. I am goin out with this gorgus girl for about 3 months on and off she is 14 im 16 and is prepared to go all the way with me , we have had oral sex. My mind is trubled becasue i have just relised that were live there is this fit girl hu i am hav...

A.   3 September 2007: Firstly, sex with an underage girl is illegal. The legal age is 16. Do this and you are breaking the law. In fact oral sex at that age would be considered dodgy but then again i'm not here to judge. Dating is fine but please don't pursue anything ... (read in full...)

How do I ask him if we are just casual or more?

Q.   heya people. ive been seeing a guy i met through friends for a few weeks and its been really great but i want to ask him whether we are a couple or if its just a casual thing. i know its only been a few weeks but i want to know because i dont k...

A.   3 September 2007: I can quite understand you don't want to scare him. You like him, and to be honest if you have both been dating for a month you are a couple in my book. I need to know a few things though. What kind of guy is he? Is he a confident or shy type of guy ... (read in full...)

I sometimes get shy and can't look a guy in the face for a long time without looking away because I feel like he would judge me or something.

Q.   Hi, I'm a 13 year old girl going into 8th grade and I was just wondering if it was normal that I get shy if I have to be around a lot of hot boys at once without my friends around? I sometimes get shy and can't look a guy in the face for a long ...

A.   22 August 2007: Aw, of course that's normal. You liked your boyfriend and you wanted to always make a good impression on him. I'm certainly still shy at the dating game and i'm nearly 21 having played the dating game for a few years. If you're on your own arou... (read in full...)

My boyfriend tends to flirt with other girls every now and again. He doesn't have a wandering eye at all, he just says sweet stuff to other girls.

Q.   Hey My boyfriend tends to flirt with other girls every now and again. He doesn't have a wandering eye at all, he just says sweet stuff to other girls. And what he says seems very very harmless to me, but I want the opinion of guys to see if there ...

A.   22 August 2007: I do something similar to this. I like complimenting or making fun of women who are friends but i'm not going out with. Admittedly I don't go out of my way to do it but I still do. That facebook thing sounds to be okay to me. Where he said she... (read in full...)

Don't enjoy sex with my husband so should I meet this online guy?

Q.   I got married 8 months ago even though i knew i didn't really want to as i no i'm not totally in love with him. He's such a good man who is descent and loyal and adores me. I love his family and love being part of it, but since i got married i knew ...

A.   22 August 2007: One thing to remember is that you married this man for a reason. There is some small love there because of the fact that you say "not totally in love with him" and the endearing terms you describe him with. Wouldn't it be prudent to try to learn to ... (read in full...)

No matter what I do I end up single!

Q.   so pretty much my life i think is at the low and i dont know if it can get any better i try so hard to be the best i can but nothing comes of it...all i want is to be happy and spend my days with a girl that i can treat like every girl dreams of ...

A.   22 August 2007: Firstly, I understand completely where you are coming from. I was exactly the same as you and in some respects still am. Unfortunately, one of the things in life that we are meant to understand is that most things happen when we don't expect the... (read in full...)

What is the average age to lose your virginity?

Q.   what is the average age to lose your virginity? it's just that i'm a 20 year old male and i haven't had sex ever. yet when someone asked when i lost my virginity and i said i hadn't they called me a weirdo. am i quite old not to have had sex?...

A.   22 August 2007: Whoa, seriously they called you a weirdo? I think they are the ones who have a problem here not you. Virginity is a special thing. Regardless of religion or race, you have sex when you feel most comfortable. Im 20 myself, and although I have the... (read in full...)

My fiancee is addicted to porn!

Q.   I have been in a previous relationship which ended badly, leaving me insecure about my looks and myself. I gradually got over this and have built up my self esteem. A couple of years ago I got into a relationship with a fantastic guy, with 1 flaw. ...

A.   20 August 2007: Its unfortunate that there are so many people out there who affected by Pornography. By what you're telling me, it sounds very much like your fiancé has an addiction to pornography. Some people don't believe it exists but it definitely does. It i... (read in full...)

Why has she not answered my text message?

Q.   I recently asked a girl out on a date and we had a great night. We exchanged emails every day for a week, she then asked me out and had another great time. No kissing but laughing and loads in common. She went on holidays last Thursday and I sent ...

A.   16 August 2007: Not necessarily. Sometimes mobiles still ring even if they are turned off. The ringing goes through to the voicemail sometimes. Still, if her phone was on, she should now know that you tried to call so she should contact you when she gets back. Do ... (read in full...)

From a guy's perspective if you said you'd call a girl and forgot because you were working or watever is it innocent or are you just wasting the girls time?

Q.   Okay, I had a feeling this guy liked me, and he called me but I never called back because I was busy, and then soon forgot. He then called again a few days later, but he called three times in a row, and left a message. I talked to him after those ...

A.   14 August 2007: The simplest way to solve this is to take control and set a specific date. Call him and ask if he'd like to meet up sometime this week for a drink. If he says yes, ask him when he's free. Really try to push a date out of him and then, more ... (read in full...)

Why has she not answered my text message?

Q.   I recently asked a girl out on a date and we had a great night. We exchanged emails every day for a week, she then asked me out and had another great time. No kissing but laughing and loads in common. She went on holidays last Thursday and I sent ...

A.   14 August 2007: Is she on holiday abroad? If so, (Or even if she's in the same country) she might have left her mobile behind. Some people want to leave everything behind them on holiday so they leave their phone behind as well. Believe me, I know people who do ... (read in full...)

I still love my ex and just confirmed he loves me too, what do I do now?

Q.   im still very good friends with my ex boyf and was at his house the other day just hanging out. i went on his computer and discovered a love poem hed written about me (yea it was definitely about me there was no mistaking that cuz of certain things ...

A.   14 August 2007: Hmm, I guess I can answer this from the point of view of the ex as I am in a slightly similar situation. One thing I can read from your question is that apart from the now apparent fact that he still loves you, he is prepared to keep it quiet so... (read in full...)

How do I handle this jealousy problem?

Q.   I'm 30 a year old male and in a relationship with a wonderful attractive 25 year old female who adores me and I adore her. I've always had jealousy issues with ex's liking other people/celebrities and I've never managed to get rid of it. My girlfr...

A.   14 August 2007: The fact that you are prepared to not let yourself do it, is something you should be proud of. Not many men do that these days. Very commendable. However, if that's her initial reaction when looking at someone, then unfortunately you cannot chang... (read in full...)

How do I handle this jealousy problem?

Q.   I'm 30 a year old male and in a relationship with a wonderful attractive 25 year old female who adores me and I adore her. I've always had jealousy issues with ex's liking other people/celebrities and I've never managed to get rid of it. My girlfr...

A.   12 August 2007: Hmm, okay. How often does she say that someone she sees at work is handsome? Doing the "mental slap in the face" technique is good, but as you say it obviously isn't working as much as I had hoped. When you feel these pangs you say you feel str... (read in full...)

How do I handle this jealousy problem?

Q.   I'm 30 a year old male and in a relationship with a wonderful attractive 25 year old female who adores me and I adore her. I've always had jealousy issues with ex's liking other people/celebrities and I've never managed to get rid of it. My girlfr...

A.   11 August 2007: Hi there, I understand completely where you are coming from. When you find someone absolutely incredible you become very protective of them. It is natural after all and is part of our psyche. You find it amazing that they are with you and you are ... (read in full...)

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