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*oyofthe Rovers agony aunt

*oyofthe Rovers

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*oyofthe Rovers's profile:

I am currently coming to terms with alot of things in my life. One, would be the break up of someone extremely close to me which is taken its toll on me. The second, is to do with something which happened to me along time ago which I know i must now face to look forward. I feel I have reached a point in my life where I need to change things for the better, by facing my fears.

I found this site when i was at a real low point and it really helped to hear from other people who could understand/help my situation. Since then I have found myself wanting to help others who have found themselves in a situation they need advice from an outside source.

I just like to try and give my neutral and mature perspective to a given situation, without judging or labelling people.

As you probably guessed I am now single; I live in London, England and am just getting on with things the best I can for now.

123456789Next > [9 pages, 323 answers]

Gf dumped me because of a drunken kiss with another girl! How can I get her back?

Q.   first of all I have been with my girlfriend nearly 5 years. I was out on saturday night and got really really drunk, I ended up kissing another girl which my girlfriend seen. this is totally out of character for me and it has been 2 days since it ...

A.   26 June 2007: It took your friend to pull you away from her, instead of yourself? Here is where your problem lies. You should of been more self-aware of your actions whether or not you were drunk..Unfortunatly these things happen to the best of us and you have ... (read in full...)

Do you think we might get back together... and how could I make it happen?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend were together for three years when out of he blue this summer he says he's not feeling the relationship like he used to since August. It was sudden to me because there were no changes in the relation ship but he says he loves me ...

A.   14 June 2007: In my opinion he doesnt know what he wants and is not being truthful with himself. I was in a relationship where nothing changed and all of a sudden she pulled the plug with little to no explanation. She didnt know what she wanted hence the ... (read in full...)

Gf dumped me because of a drunken kiss with another girl! How can I get her back?

Q.   first of all I have been with my girlfriend nearly 5 years. I was out on saturday night and got really really drunk, I ended up kissing another girl which my girlfriend seen. this is totally out of character for me and it has been 2 days since it ...

A.   13 June 2007: Now you have said your piece and she was willing to listen, all you can do now is wait. The is nothing more horrible than waiting in this kind of situation, ive been there and it is so painful not knowing, but be patient; that is the best move you ... (read in full...)

Why does my boyfriend get an erection at the slightest thing?

Q.   My boyfriend gets an erection very easily and we both dont know why... he doesent feel horny or turned on but he gets an erection! when i say very easily i mean very very easily :S we think it might have something to do with high blood pressure but ...

A.   12 June 2007: I dont see anything wrong with this, the other way round maybe but not this. Men can get turned on by the smallest things, a smell, a touch, a thought; pretty much anything. Dont blame him, he cant help it. As has been said before make the ... (read in full...)

Gf dumped me because of a drunken kiss with another girl! How can I get her back?

Q.   first of all I have been with my girlfriend nearly 5 years. I was out on saturday night and got really really drunk, I ended up kissing another girl which my girlfriend seen. this is totally out of character for me and it has been 2 days since it ...

A.   11 June 2007: You risked all that you had for one drunken kiss? You are now learning the lesson from what you done, maybe slightly harshly but I think you need to think what led you to kiss this girl so easily. If your in a relationship especially one t... (read in full...)

Why do attractive women have problems finding a man?

Q.   So ... I have a good question for everyone. I was going through this question over and over with my good friends, that have the same problem .... Why do actractive women have problems finding a man? I don't think that me or my girlfriends ...

A.   11 June 2007: Even tho i think that is a bit of a generalisation using attractive women, i think it spans to everyone men/women. Im my opinion finding the the Mr/Mrs Right is a lottery to be honest. I thought id found the perfect woman myself and had a four y... (read in full...)

How can I moan more when having sex with my husband without getting all embarrassed?

Q.   i have a question? i am very shy to moan during sex with my husband, i wanted to get some advice to help me open up to moaning for him. i love to have sex a lot just shy to moan. please help me? Tabitha...

A.   10 June 2007: Just do what comes naturally. Maybe start just to make smaller sounds quitely and go from there; nothing too porno but just go with what your body is telling you. Im sure soon you can build this up to a full blown moan in no time. Theres n... (read in full...)

What kind of kiss?

Q.   What kind of kiss would one prefer, I know it goes on personal preferences, but what is better, some people say that tongue is not good, and they prefer just the notion of the lips agains each other, what happens then? Thanks....

A.   10 June 2007: To be truthful whatever comes naturally...Kisses vary depending on person to person and the mood. I knew a girl who loved sucking my bottom lip!! But it is whatever floats your boat. R ... (read in full...)

Shouldn't I count to??

Q.   This is likely an age old question but i need to ask it. How much time should your man spend with his friends? Please dont anyone tell me as much as he wants cuz thats the whole problem here, hes spending tooo much time with them i only see him ...

A.   10 June 2007: I have been in a similar position where my ex used to go round her best mates house every dau after work for a few hours and then come back tired and usually stoned. I had to tread a very thin line not to sound like i was being over dramatic... (read in full...)

My partner does not support me and his family emotionally. I have tried to end it but he asks me to give back everything he has given me! What do I do?

Q.   My partner, the father of my son, lives over 100 miles away, he has his own business, homes, social life. i live as a single mum of 3, aged 20months, 7 and 10, in a council flat, on income support. Although he buys me things, he seems reluctant to ...

A.   9 June 2007: I dont understand why your partner who is the father of one of your children is living so far away from you and the son? Surely he would want to see his son more regularly than 2 days a week? What sort of father is he? To be honest he cant t... (read in full...)

He mistreats me badly and I need to know how to deal with it. Any advice?

Q.   My boyfriend of 1/2 year doesn't treat me right. He's never laid a finger on me, but he's really possessive and gets angry at me. I know that he's like this because he's insecure, and in the past I haven't exactly been the best person. I have NEVER ...

A.   9 June 2007: You are doing the right thing by leaving him if you are not happy in the relationship. His anxieties about you cheating seem to be unfounded and are rooted in his mind which only he can resolve. If you love someone it is never about controll... (read in full...)

My boyfriend and I haven't had sex for over a year and a half, I love him but can't take all the frustration anymore.

Q.   My boyfriend and I haven't had sex for over a year and a half, I love him but can't take all the frustration anymore. He won't talk about it and we just end up fighting. Any help or advice?...

A.   8 June 2007: Communication is key here. He needs to be able to discuss with you what is the matter and vice versa. Without this line of communication the relationship will end up where you both resent each other and i am sure none of you want that. If he... (read in full...)

I don't have a house or a family to support, so I send money to my ex to help her out, after all it IS my money to do with as I want!

Q.   Ok, heres the situation. I am still in touch with my first girlfriend from 25 years ago. She lives in another country and we see each other every couple years or so. She is divorced and has 2 kids. I dated her before she married and had the kids, ...

A.   8 June 2007: You need to let go of the past and focus on your present relationship. In my eyes the amounts that you are sending are way too much and this ex is taking advantage of your good nature.. I would understand if this was a short term arrangme... (read in full...)

We're trying to make this marriage work but he's talking to the other woman. Is he back with me for the wrong reasons?

Q.   My husband and I are going through some rough times. We have been married for a little over three years, together for almost six. He cheated on me six times in four years. I forgave him and moved on. One day I took our kids and belongings and ...

A.   6 June 2007: The first thing you need to do is stop sleeping with him. This is giving him the wrong message and only encouraging him to act the way he has towards you. You need to be strong about this. Your kids should be your main concern now, his history ... (read in full...)

She's boring in bed and I don't feel desired by her! What can I do?

Q.   My girlfriend is very boring in bed? I do not know what to do as I love her very much but I am worried that I may get bored. I have tried talking to her but she sees it as criticism and then says that she feels worse. I do not feel desired by ...

A.   6 June 2007: Does she have low self-esteem? Does she actually enjoy sex? Is there something that is on her mind s which stops her "getting in the mood"? It is hard when your feelings are not returned in this fashion, as you say you do not feel desired ... (read in full...)

I set a honey trap and he fell for it... are all guys this bad??

Q.   HONEY TRAP! I've been talking to my on-line man for about 4 months and we were getting on really well, he lives 100 miles from me and we were planning a weekend together in a couple of weeks. However, I set a 'honey trap' for him on the website w...

A.   5 June 2007: No there not. The internet serves as a way for men and women to appear almost invisible and they can use this to do things they normally wouldnt do in normal reality. It can serve as an alais for that person, for them to express themselv... (read in full...)

Do I have a chance with my ex without fear of losing him again?

Q.   hi, my ex boyfriend of around a year talked 2 me today...we've split up last oct. and since then we havent talked, except when recently he sent me a greeting message on an occasion, then afterwards I sent him a message asking on him and his work, la...

A.   5 June 2007: I believe you need to give yourself the space you need. If he really wants you back then he will make the effort to do so. Giving chase to him and getting let down will only bring back those feelings of despair and loss which you have tried to ... (read in full...)

She never 'opens up to me' and tells me her feelings...how do I get her to do this?

Q.   hello me and my girlfriend have been dating for nearly 5 months and i love her to pieces but she never opens up to me and when i bring it up she laughs and i feel like giving up on this relationship but i would feel bad cause it seems to be over ...

A.   5 June 2007: I can understand where you come from (female anon) when you say about your past experiences. What you need to understand is if that is what is holding you back, you need to express your feelings about this when you feel down about them. This will ... (read in full...)

I told her that I love her and she says she's no good for me and to forget her! Why?

Q.   i'm male 21 and i love a girl of 25. The tragedy is that she enjoys a lot talking with me, sharing his everything with me. Both of us don't give importance and priority to sex. I really love her and I will not be able to live without her. ...

A.   5 June 2007: In my eyes she may be hiding something from you, but this is just a guess. Someone who says these things arent being totally honest with themselves. if it was a case of her not wanting to be tied down to a relationship, surely she would say? ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend seems to be more interested in his computer game (world of warcraft) than in me.

Q.   I am a 39 yr old gay man and have been in a relationship with my partner for 16 years. We have always had a good sex life and I have been happy until recently. My boyfriend seems to be more interested in his computer game (world of warcraft) than in ...

A.   4 June 2007: He needs to understand that there is a time and a place for the game. I know how addictive and immersive these games are and can see how he spends hours on them. However, does he want the game more than you? If given the choice i am sure the... (read in full...)

How do I come to terms with something that happened to me in a past relationship?

Q.   How do I come to terms with something that happened to me in a past relationship( last year)? I cry often because I now realize I was mentally, physically, emotionally and sexually abused during this relationship. Everyday I think about how he ...

A.   4 June 2007: i am i firm believer of "what goes around comes around" and it will, maybe not straight away but it will. You need to be honest with yourself here and decide whether this is something you can face on your own, or need proffesional guidance... (read in full...)

What can I do to get over my fear of flying?

Q.   Help needed. I was on a plane when I was one when adopted from Russia. on friday we are leaving for CA and im am scared to death and not becuase of previous things. Im scared of take off and landing and my ears popping....plus im scared of heights. ...

A.   4 June 2007: Your fear of flying can be approached in many ways. There ways in which you can learn to calm yourself down and control your breathing so that you dont become panicked at the moment of take-off and landing. You could also try hypnosis which may ... (read in full...)

I am looking really forward to a change but I keep thinking what if it doesn't work out?

Q.   I'm in a bit of a dilemma. My problem is that after quite a number of years living in my own house I have now put it on the market to sell. It is now under offer. The reason I decided to sell is because I just can't see any future here for me or ...

A.   4 June 2007: There comes a point in everyones life when they have abig choice to make which could change things for ever, this is one of them. Your situation and how its led you to feel no-one can blame you for and the thoughts about starting things a fresh ar... (read in full...)

My bf cheated on me with my best friend a few weeks ago - I just now found out! I love him, but don't want to have this happen again! Help!

Q.   Okay just the other day I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend while I was on my cruise for Spring Break with my family. Like I said, it was spring break and now it is June 2 and i just now found out about it. They have be...

A.   4 June 2007: You have been lied to on two fronts here, one by your fella the other by your best mate. Question is as you put it can you trust him again? Why did he cheat? (Not there is ever a good reason). The problem lies here. Your trust in him has no... (read in full...)

How can I send my ex a friendly email without him getting the wrong idea about it?

Q.   How can I send my ex a friendly email without him getting the wrong idea about it. He is of the mentality that it means more than i am letting on. It was a rocky relationship, full of interruptions and complications from his mother. It end...

A.   3 June 2007: I would maybe tread carefully with this. If he wanted any kind of contact with you for friendship he would of maybe of made the first move. It very possible that he doesnt want to due to his feelings for you still remaining. By all means ... (read in full...)

She's seeing someone else now and I'm devastated!

Q.   Hello all that reads, my name is Nick. To start at the begening i have been in a relationship with the love of my life for 4 years but now we arent really talking. it ended in april, we lived together for at least one year, we had are fights about ...

A.   3 June 2007: Words can not describe the pain you must be feeling at this point in time. It hurts and it hurts so much. She has made a choice, whether you understand it or not you are going to have to live with it and move on. Her jumping from one relation... (read in full...)

He can never commit to making a plan to do anything in advance.

Q.   I have been dating a guy for 10 years - We don't live together and he can never commit to making a plan to do anything in advance. I feel like I am always begging him to spend time with me and then sit around and wait for him to decide what he wants ...

A.   3 June 2007: 10 years is a long time for two people to know each other so he should know you know you inside out by now. He should also know what his intentions are with you and be more commited towards the relationship than he is currently showing. His lac... (read in full...)

I felt like shit because mum and dad were going through rough times so I dumped my girlfriend, I was so depressed, now I want her back as I made a big mistake.

Q.   Hi i really really really really need some help well basicly what the story is is that me and my ex girlfriend were going out and everything was fine we both loved each other so much Then my mum and dad started to go through rough times and i fe...

A.   3 June 2007: You should of been honest wiv her in the first place and possibly saved yourself a lot of heartache. The only thing you can do now is to give her a ring or meet her somewhere and tell her everything about how you feel and the reasons to why you ... (read in full...)

She never 'opens up to me' and tells me her feelings...how do I get her to do this?

Q.   hello me and my girlfriend have been dating for nearly 5 months and i love her to pieces but she never opens up to me and when i bring it up she laughs and i feel like giving up on this relationship but i would feel bad cause it seems to be over ...

A.   3 June 2007: Her inability to open up to you is and will cause complications further down the line if not faced. I understand that not everyone finds it easy to open up and fully express themselves, however if she says she loves you then she needs to be ... (read in full...)

I love her but I've been seeing prostitutes once a month...

Q.   think were gonna split after living together for 6 years creating a home and getting secure ready for marriage and a family. now its time to bite the bullet i dont wanna do it i do love her but im having cold feet. ive been seeing prostitutes once ...

A.   3 June 2007: Its not...Why the prostitutes? This will hurt more than you can imagine if/when she finds out. If you really love her why go these extremes just coz you got second thoughts on marriage. If you really dont want to go through with it, just bit... (read in full...)

Should I get pregnant to keep my cheating boyfriend in my life??

Q.   Ok, i would like views on what you think about a gf getting pregnant on purpose just to keep her bf in her life. I found out that my bf was cheating on me with his ex the entire 2 yrs we've been on and off together. I was so devastated. I didnt wa...

A.   3 June 2007: using a human life as a way to revenge is not the way to go. Im sure deep down you know this. Trapping someone in this way is only going to drive them further away and end up with a more complicated situation than you have now. this is entrapme... (read in full...)

My friend has changed... How do you deal with being around someone you don't like or trust anymore?

Q.   Recently one of my close friends has changed dramatically. She used to be really nice and trustworthy and very counsious about not hurting people. (She didnt even belive in bitching!) She has loads of nice guys after her and is leading them all...

A.   3 June 2007: Not what i would call a friend who you can rely on. What prompted her change? You need to seperate yourself from her to let her know you wil have nothing to do with er while she acts in this manner. She knew how you felt for this person and ... (read in full...)

Is it true that if you argue with one person or a family member that you are rebelling against every other member of the family, even those with whom you do not have any major issues?

Q.   Is it true that if you argue with one person or a family member that you are rebelling against every other member of the family, even those with whom you do not have any major issues? My close knitted family tries to give me that message somehow and ...

A.   2 June 2007: No. Not at all.. That is a sign of them trying to over power your own beliefs and attitudes. One persons idea/thought is most defiantly not anothers, so how they can come to this conclusion is beyond me. In a close knit family i can understand... (read in full...)

He drinks too much and I hate it!

Q.   i have been going out with my boyfriend about 6 months now and i stay at his every weekend. every weekend he drinks too much (like lads do) but he always tends to upset me. i don't think he does it intentionally and he says he loves me but i dont ...

A.   2 June 2007: I know how you feel. My ex smoked too much cannabis because she had issues she refused to deal with and she refused to see any other point of view. At the end of the day your feelings and your opinions should count for something and if the person ... (read in full...)

If someone who is rich or better standing in society says something about someone, does it make heavier than what is said by someone who stands at an ordinary level in society?

Q.   If someone who is rich or better standing in society says something about someone, does it make heavier than what is said by someone who stands at an ordinary level in society. I mean is there a relation between amount of money you have and the ...

A.   2 June 2007: I dont think the amount of money has anything to with it. It may have to do with education and the person morales, but nothing to do with money and social class. The truth is the truth and everyone is entitled to their point of view and many tim... (read in full...)

How do I really know I made the right decision to split up with him?

Q.   How will I know it was the right decision? I split with my partner after over 4 years of being together a couple of months ago. We didn't live together or anything so it wasn't a messy split. For me, things hadn't felt right since about Sept...

A.   2 June 2007: If what you say is true i believe you you have done all you can to save try and save whatever remained. As long as you know you did everything you could in your power to save it you can walk away knowing you done the right thing. Your feelings... (read in full...)

He found out i kissed someone and has broken my nose beat me up and is currently in prison!

Q.   I love my boyfriend 2 bits i have never had a relationship before we have been together for a long time and have children. He found out i kissed someone and has broken my nose beat me up and is currently in prison, he tells me he loves me and wants ...

A.   2 June 2007: I hate to say this but he physically assulted you and this has no excuse to it. Whether or not you "had" cheated on him the thing he is not seeing is trust which he obviously has none of for you. You dont hit the people you love, you protect ... (read in full...)

How do I really know I made the right decision to split up with him?

Q.   How will I know it was the right decision? I split with my partner after over 4 years of being together a couple of months ago. We didn't live together or anything so it wasn't a messy split. For me, things hadn't felt right since about Sept...

A.   2 June 2007: If you have doubts it is worth really questioning yourself to figure out what these doubts are about, and how deep they mean to you. It sounds like you had thought about this for a while and you might of been better expressing how you felt whi... (read in full...)

Why is it that most (well nearly all) paedophiles are men?

Q.   Why is it that most (well nearly all) paedophiles are men?...

A.   2 June 2007: i think the answer to your question lies in the fact that men often find it hard to reveal their emotions and inner most feelings. Men tend to hide alot of things from even the closest around us..When most men have issues/problems they tend to ... (read in full...)

Broken up for 3 months now but I miss her like crazy. How do I get her back?

Q.   Me and my girl have been broken up for about 3 months now, and I miss her like crazy, how do I get her back?...

A.   2 June 2007: The sad thing about any break up is you can rarely force someone to change their mind and find the lost love they had for you. You dont mention much about the circumstances around your break-up, but the fact is the relationship has obvioulsy ... (read in full...)

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