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*idge agony aunt

*idge

United Kingdom  (Female   XML/RSS

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*idge's profile:

I'm 35 years old and after 12 years have just broken up with my boyfriend. I was born and lived in South Africa until 1997, when I moved to Scotland. I am currently studying Community Education after my father passed away in July 2009. His death made me think long and hard about what I had, what I want and how Im going to get it. I have loved, lost and loved again. I have a lot of experience in areas that sometimes I wish I never had, but the experiences make me stronger and able to deal with things that normally I wouldnt be able to. I dont pull any punches and call a spade a spade, some like it, some dont. If you ask for advice, be prepared for a frank and honest answer.

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I'm terrified this baby is not my boyfriends... but in fact the man's who raped me!

Q.   I dont actually know what to say when speaking with my boyfriend about this :/ and its CONSTANTLY on my mind! im 18 and my boyfriend is 28, we've been together for 2 and a half years now and he is the most perfect, amazing thing in my life! i found ...

A.   3 December 2010: So glad to hear that! Congratulation!... (read in full...)

Acne, scars and what can I do?

Q.   Im thirteen and I had ok skin untill a few months ago when I just broke out all over my forehead. I know it's puberty but in the mean time what can I do to keep it manageable? I've tried "clean and clear" the pimples ar a LOT smaller but there's ...

A.   6 August 2010: Yeah a very common problem. When I moved country from South Africa to the UK, my skin broke out. I was still young at that time and when I went to the doctor I was told that I should give it a few years and it will get better. Well I wanted a remedy ... (read in full...)

I'm worried about leaving it too late to start a family, but then again I also want to get this qualification!

Q.   Hi everyone I was just looking for some advice. I am thinking about going back to uni to do a course that I have been really keen on for the last couple of years, and I have also been given a place. However, my big problem is that it's a six year...

A.   14 July 2010: I will shortly be 35 and am currently doing a degree at Uni. I am going into second year in September and my degree is a 4 year degree, so I will be 38 when I am finished. I dont yet have kids and would most certainly like to start a family. I don... (read in full...)

He's going to ask me out but I don't like him, I like his friend!

Q.   I know there is a longer version of this story but that was getting ignored and neglected so please read this one:) a friend is going to ask me out on tuesday but i dont like him like that but i do really like his best friend and im pretty sure he ...

A.   11 July 2010: Yeah, Ive been in the situation where Ive not liked the poor guy, and liked his friend. When he asked me out I said no, and your exact fear happened. His friend thought that I wasnt interested in having a relationship. So your fear is a realistic. ... (read in full...)

My ex was murdered and I am struggling to move forward!

Q.   Hey guys, Needless to say i need your help once more About 6 years ago i met the most amazing guy i think i will ever meet. I fell in love with him instantly and, we had the most amazing relationship, that you could ever describe. I do believe ...

A.   16 June 2010: I lost my boyfriend when I was 17 and he was 18. He too was murdered. I am 34 and I still think of him often! He was the first man that I can honestly say, I loved! He was absolutely WONDERFUL and I miss him dearly! I think of him often and I kn... (read in full...)

I waited faithfully for him while he was deployed but now he says he only loves our daughter

Q.   Help. I waited.. i've been waiting faithfuly since Jan 09. I sent him packages, took good care of our daughter, was nice, honest, affectionate. But then he came home, and he says he's too different to love me anymore. He says the only person he ...

A.   7 June 2010: Face grabbing, pinning and forced sexual acts, YES that is abuse! If you want to talk to me offline, just send me a private message. Sometimes helps to talk to someone that is not directly related to the issue.... (read in full...)

I waited faithfully for him while he was deployed but now he says he only loves our daughter

Q.   Help. I waited.. i've been waiting faithfuly since Jan 09. I sent him packages, took good care of our daughter, was nice, honest, affectionate. But then he came home, and he says he's too different to love me anymore. He says the only person he ...

A.   7 June 2010: Just be careful! You have a child now, so dont want your child involved in any abusive relationship. He is obviously going through a lot of emotions in dealing with his life in the army, but abusive whether drink related or not is not acceptable. ... (read in full...)

Will taking this job kill our relationship?

Q.   So I'm in a bit of a tight spot here, I'll quickly explain my situation first. Currently, I'm in a long distance relationship with a girl that lives the next state over. We started dating last year until I ended it in February, but now we've re...

A.   6 June 2010: I have been with my boyfriend for 12 years and this is exactly our situation. We dont live together and he lives a way away from me. He travels for weeks at a time, so our time together is very limited. I see him for a couple of days every few ... (read in full...)

Teenage daughter having an affair with a married man

Q.   Please help, my 19 yr old daughter is having an affair with a married man. My daughter has been babysitting for a local family for the last 2 summers. Recently I was looking at pictures on her computer and I noticed pictures of the family she ...

A.   6 June 2010: As difficult as it may seem, there is very little that you as a mother can do when she is 19 years old. If you confront him or his wife, your daughter will hate you, and you will more than likely loose her forever. So not a good idea! Your dau... (read in full...)

I'm terrified this baby is not my boyfriends... but in fact the man's who raped me!

Q.   I dont actually know what to say when speaking with my boyfriend about this :/ and its CONSTANTLY on my mind! im 18 and my boyfriend is 28, we've been together for 2 and a half years now and he is the most perfect, amazing thing in my life! i found ...

A.   4 June 2010: I know exactly what you are going through. I was raped at the age of 15 by someone I trusted. I found out I was pregnant not long after. I had never slept with anyone, so it couldnt have been anyone elses. Unfortunately I didnt have a man in my li... (read in full...)

How can I confront and grass on my teacher for sleeping with my friend

Q.   Help I think my friend is sleeping with a teacher, I feel responsible about doing something but I'm not sure what... I'm not just blindly accusing one of my teachers of sleeping with a pupil I really think they are because... 1)I know she has a s...

A.   3 June 2010: Personally I think something needs to be done, but you have to take into consideration a teachers career if you have it wrong! So, you really need proof that this is taking place before you say anything to anyone. Being in the field of education, I ... (read in full...)

Am I a tramp?

Q.   I've been a very bad discusting person well i think so anyway :( ive had sex with two boys in the space of a month, and other sexual acts with them too spreading over 5 months im just realising now that i feel nasty and horrible, im sucha tramp...

A.   31 May 2010: Who are we to tell you how to live your life? Just because we wouldn't do the same thing as you, doesn't mean that its wrong! It just means that our morals are different to yours. And again, that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Think of how boring it ... (read in full...)

I don't have an hymen even though I'm not an athelete.

Q.   hii!iam not an athlete..but i dont hav an hymen layer..i found this when me and my boyfriend had sex..from that point of time he is suspecting me a lot..!!i was a virgin when i slept with him..but he is not trusting me b'coz of the absence of hymen ...

A.   31 May 2010: Honestly, this guy is a complete arse! If he has some kind of magic penis that can tell if you have a hymen or not, can you ask him what gel or formula he is using, because I am sure many other men would be happy to purchase it! You cannot te... (read in full...)

My heart says to meet with her and discuss it, my head says run for the hills.

Q.   I have been dating a lady for about nine months, and we both agreed at the outset that this would be an exclusive relationship. I am just out of a marriage that lasted 26 years, and she has been divorced for 2 years after a marriage of 30 years. ...

A.   27 May 2010: Glad you seem to have it all worked out, even if it is just for the moment. As you say, enjoy it while it lasts!... (read in full...)

The 'break' is going to be permanent. Do I tell her there's someone else?

Q.   I initiated a "break" with my girlfriend about two weeks ago. Since then, I have started seeing and sleeping with a co-worker. I really like this new girl, and it seems the feeling is mutual. I am meeting with my "ex" in a few days. A chance f...

A.   26 May 2010: Well if I were her, and you were telling me its over, I think the natural thing to ask would be if there is someone else. If I were in her shoes, I would find it very hard to understand that you have just started sleeping with this woman, and I ... (read in full...)

My heart says to meet with her and discuss it, my head says run for the hills.

Q.   I have been dating a lady for about nine months, and we both agreed at the outset that this would be an exclusive relationship. I am just out of a marriage that lasted 26 years, and she has been divorced for 2 years after a marriage of 30 years. ...

A.   26 May 2010: Howd you get on? Did you manage to speak to her?... (read in full...)

How can I get rid of acne spots?

Q.   Hey. I'm asking for ways to get rid of acne/spots quickly. My skin's ok. It's not disastrous but it's not glowing either. I cleanse and moisturize daily but I still get the odd spot or two which make my skin look bad. Are there any ways of getting ...

A.   24 May 2010: An old boer remedy that my mom taught me as a kid. I still use it to this day and I have (touch wood) never had any problems with my skin, and get loads of remarks about it. I dont use any makeup products on my skin because I dont need to. Wet y... (read in full...)

Irrational fears concerning sex pregnancy and condoms?

Q.   Hi, so I want to have sex for the first time but I am afraid I'm going to get pregnant. I will use a condom but I'm so afraid it is going to break because I have heard all those stories. If I get pregnant my parents will kill me and they obviously ...

A.   23 May 2010: Lord No! Your fears are totally rational! I had the same fear when I first had a sex for the first time. The fact you are stressing about it means that you have thought your decision through, which is a sign of maturity. If you use a condom, ... (read in full...)

Should I stay with my husband even though he cheated on me with 18 year old?

Q.   My husband cheated on me with an 18 year old from the district in which he teaches at. We have a family and a beautiful area where we live. Should I stay with him even though he did this to me? He has been married before and he would probably still ...

A.   23 May 2010: This is really only a question you can answer. Whether you leave your husband depends on you and how you perceive several things. Personally I could not live or stay with a person who has cheated on me, but then, thats just me! You are asking w... (read in full...)

I don't think I cheated buy my b/f is making it out like I did

Q.   So let me get straight to the point. I went to a bar last night and got totally wasted and hugged on and held a guys hand that is friends with my brothers wife. Well i have a boyfriend and we have been together for 7 months and he got really mad ...

A.   22 May 2010: Look, I wouldn't consider it cheating, but at the same time, she put yourself in a position that could have the potential to be disastrous! Its not up to anyone else whether to let or not let things happen to you because at the end of the day, you ... (read in full...)

My heart says to meet with her and discuss it, my head says run for the hills.

Q.   I have been dating a lady for about nine months, and we both agreed at the outset that this would be an exclusive relationship. I am just out of a marriage that lasted 26 years, and she has been divorced for 2 years after a marriage of 30 years. ...

A.   22 May 2010: You know, I thought you were being a bit hasty until you mentioned that you had asked about meeting the ex, and that kinda started ringing alarm bells. I have to admit that if it weren't for the fact that you had asked to meet him and she said no,... (read in full...)

"I'm terrified of dying and leaving my wife"

Q.   Hello. I'm not sure if anybody can really help me but I need it. I broke up from a bad relationship around 4 years ago. It was so bad that I spent the next four months on a downward spiral. I drank every night but what's worse is that I started u...

A.   21 May 2010: I know someone that used to use cocaine on a daily basis. He was addicted to it big time. He like you, saw that there was more to live for and stopped just like that! He had many medical problems like palpitations. Its been 24 years and he is fine! ... (read in full...)

My ex contacted me, but now what I've read on his dating profile has shocked me!

Q.   Alright Sunday night a guy I dated briefly contacted me via dating site we met on two years ago and I should probably mention that it ended ugly with his last words to me being F-off or something to that effect when I told him I was pregnant. Anyway ...

A.   18 May 2010: I am a firm believer that an ex is an ex for a reason. No matter whether it ended well or badly, I dont believe in taking them back. My own personal feelings I might add! Yeah, you know people could say that you were silly and daft for even thi... (read in full...)

What would you think about this if it was your girlfriend and your roommate?

Q.   Folks i would need some advice.The one i get from my buddies always involves alcohol :s this is the first time i do this kind of thing but here we go. Found out a couple of days ago thanks to a lost email that my girlfriend of 2 years with whom ...

A.   17 May 2010: I think your girlfriend is a complete arse! Sorry! My boyfriend is away a LOT. When he is home his mind is on work, but NEVER have I ever cheated on him, or looked for attention elsewhere! Yes, I sometimes feel unloved and would like more affectio... (read in full...)

How can I say "no" to my neighbors without becoming the building bitch?

Q.   this isn't about a romantic relationship, but moreso a neighborly one. I just moved into a new building. I live on the first floor and these kidsare ALWAYS out by my patio. They ask for food, gum, something to drink, etc. At first I would an...

A.   15 May 2010: I have a neighbour similar to this except she is elderly and doesnt respect my privacy. I got it sussed though! Try this! If the mother asks you for a cigaret tell her that you gave up last night after she took your last one! Tell her that you... (read in full...)

Didn't wash my hands after oral sex--am I pregnant?

Q.   I was giving my boyfriend oral, and i swallowed his precum, i think maybe afterward a little bit leaked on my hand. I really had to go pee, so I did. I didnt wash my hands, and grabbed the toilet paper. I didnt touch my vagina at all, but i touched ...

A.   15 May 2010: The fact that you are asking this question proves the point that you are way too young to be doing anything sexual. If you think that you can get pregnant from what you did, then that proves that you really dont have a clue about conception, ... (read in full...)

The girl who advertised on-line for casual sex is using my sister's photo!

Q.   A few weeks ago, I responded to an online ad for casual sex. I'm 27 and single, and I was planning to use protection, so I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I chatted online with the girl who placed it a few times, and she seemed really cool, ...

A.   13 May 2010: This is a very serious issue. If someone else is using her picture for this type of work, and Lord knows, Im no-one to judge, but if they are using it for this type of work, your sister could potentially be in danger. Who knows what type of creeps ... (read in full...)

Any way to make my very noticeable assets less visible?

Q.   I am only 14 years old and i have 34 DD boobs, they are the biggest in my year, i used to like them but now in the summer when i want to wear vest tops they look huge and they are really pert and they just sit their..my friends are jelous but i am ...

A.   11 May 2010: I know where you are coming from because i had the same problem when I was at school. The guys used to look at me all the time and I became very self conscious about them. I used to wear thick jackets and baggy jackets during the summer so that you ... (read in full...)

I know he is not really into me but I am finding it hard to let go

Q.   im 20 dating a guy who is 28.at first i wsnt interestd in him but as i got to know i started to develop feelings for him,i foumd out that he has 2 kids and he hasnt realy broken up with his baby momma.after we had sex he started being distant,i call ...

A.   11 May 2010: Okay, I believe in being honest and this "relationship" is what I would call "a booty call relationship". He calls and you drop everything to run and be with him, he gets what he wants, you're hurt, he's happy with himself! Now that Ive put it t... (read in full...)

How can we come to a decision on where to live?

Q.   My boyfriend and I met in Costa Rica 4 years ago. I"m from the California and he is from Australia. We have lived in Costa Rica ever since. I go back to California about twice a year to visit. I have always struggled with being so far from my ...

A.   10 May 2010: When I first emigrated to the UK I have to say that I felt the same as you. Although I met someone when I lived in England, I missed my family and friends. Yes, we had a wonderful relationship, but England just never seemed like home to me. We ... (read in full...)

I didn't get a card for my birthday and now, the GF is upset at me??!

Q.   It was bothering me that my GF didn't get me a card for my birthday(2 days later). She noticed that something was on my mind and asked me. I asked her if she got me anything for my birthday and she told me she "didn't know what to get me" (so I got ...

A.   9 May 2010: Well I have been with my boyfriend for almost 12 years now. Love him to bits but he has only remembered my birthday on 3 of these occasions. I know he has a lot on his mind, so never remind him. I like you, dont expect presents etc, because to be ... (read in full...)

I waited faithfully for him while he was deployed but now he says he only loves our daughter

Q.   Help. I waited.. i've been waiting faithfuly since Jan 09. I sent him packages, took good care of our daughter, was nice, honest, affectionate. But then he came home, and he says he's too different to love me anymore. He says the only person he ...

A.   9 May 2010: Look, the bottom line is there is no guarantees, but his head will be really messed up. And I mean, really messed up. He doesnt know what the hell he wants just now, and Im sure its a case of he needs to learn to know you again, and he will need to ... (read in full...)

I waited faithfully for him while he was deployed but now he says he only loves our daughter

Q.   Help. I waited.. i've been waiting faithfuly since Jan 09. I sent him packages, took good care of our daughter, was nice, honest, affectionate. But then he came home, and he says he's too different to love me anymore. He says the only person he ...

A.   9 May 2010: Man, these are always difficult things to help with. I dont have any personal experience with this, but know of one person who I worked with that was in the same boat as you. She was 21, had a newly born son, and her husband had been deployed... (read in full...)

Boyfriend being spiteful for something I have no control over!

Q.   my boyfriend was meant to come and see me tonight (i live 30 miles away from him, at uni) but he isn't coming because his sister and his grandad are going to london tomorrow.. he said his grandad wouldn't appreciate him not being there. it ...

A.   9 May 2010: Oh my goodness, how pathetic is that! Well, I have recently had a similar situation except my boyfriend is somewhat more mature. I am moving to University residence as of September. The residence are not just girls or boys, but a mixture. He isnt ... (read in full...)

I really want to tell my partner I crossdress.

Q.   *Op's own title* Hi all, Hope someone can help, I am a closet crossdresser and live with my female partner of 5 years. I only do it in the privacy of our home and I am totally devoted to my partner. I really want to tell her but I am afraid of ...

A.   8 May 2010: Personally, if I were her, I would not have too much of an issue with it since you are doing it in the privacy of the home and not outside. You may find that she would just need a little time to adjust to the idea, but that she may be accepting of ... (read in full...)

I feel like I have no room for error with my depressed girlfriend.

Q.   Hello all, hopefully someone out there can help shed light on my situation. My girlfriend and I have been together almost two years. We love each other very much and always try to help each other succeed and be happy. We also both show our lo...

A.   8 May 2010: My boyfriend is a manic depressive. I love him dearly, but at times, its so bad I cannot stand being in the same room as him because he brings me down. So I get where you are coming from. If you forget to do something, so if she asks you to do so... (read in full...)

2 days late for my period

Q.   I am 2 days late for my period, I have taken 3 pregncey test and they have all come out negative, I'm worried and wounding what I should do plz help me...

A.   7 May 2010: Oh, Ive been there before. There are many factors that can make you late for your period. One of them being sex! Stress is also a contributing factor, so stop stressing and in a few days time, if you still havent had one, then by all means, start ... (read in full...)

Husband being pestered by his ex

Q.   I am with my husband for over 6yrs. His ex keeps calling and texting him. He takes her calls and admit that they talk every week and they are just friends. It make me feel insecure when they speak to eachother; he still insist that they are just ...

A.   4 May 2010: I trust my boyfriend. I dont trust her as far as I can throw her, and she knows that. She used to call at 3am then 11pm until we had to answer. He is always nice when she calls. What you need to do is speak to him about boundaries. Tell him you ... (read in full...)

I want to have sex with a grown man

Q.   One of my adult friend's won't have sex with her husband unless he has the snip. I talk to him often and we get into conversations about sex. It is becoming increasingly obvious that there is a lot of sexual tension building up in him. We talk about ...

A.   3 May 2010: The guy is married! That means he is taken!!! At the age of 17, I would leave him well enough alone! If he is having problems at home, then dont you get involved in them! A relationship with him will just cause a world of pain for you, him, you... (read in full...)

Husband being pestered by his ex

Q.   I am with my husband for over 6yrs. His ex keeps calling and texting him. He takes her calls and admit that they talk every week and they are just friends. It make me feel insecure when they speak to eachother; he still insist that they are just ...

A.   3 May 2010: Right, I have this same issue with my boyfriend, however I feel that I have dealt with it in the most responsible and dignified way. I trust him, although I dont trust her! The most effective way I found in dealing with it is letting them be ... (read in full...)

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