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... Send Midge a private message | | | Midge's profile:I'm 33 years old and have a 42 year old boyfriend.
I was born and lived in South Africa until 1997, when I moved to Scotland.
Although I have my own business, I am also studying Psychology part time. I have always wanted to be able to help others, and have finally found something I want to do! |
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My ex has threatened to beat me up!
Q. I have a massive problem!! My ex-boyfriend Jack has threatened to beat me up just because I added his present girlfriend on Facebook. But I also know that he is cheating on this girl. This girl, let's call her Shelby, has told Jack that I've said ...
A. 23 April 2009: If you are on facebook you can print off the dialog between you and this Shelby. Take a copy of it to him and tell him that that is all the contact that you have had with her, or better yet, take him to the nearest computer and log onto facebook ... (read in full...)
He doesn't see me as his girlfriend
Q. Hi, i was just wondering, this guy i have been seeing, he is the best ever. He has been married although his wife left 3 years ago.... We would go away on weekends alone and so, although he does not see me as his girlfriend, he says 'you are my ...
A. 2 April 2009: Well you need to make up your mind whether you want to be a sexual toy or if you want a relationship. If you want a relationship I suggest you go look elsewhere, this guy isnt going to make a commitment anytime soon. You are in effect his sex ... (read in full...)
This just doesn't sound right..
Q. I got some texts to my cell phone one night from an anonymous person claiming she had been sleeping with my boyfriend, they are together and he was leaving me for her. She claims to have read texts I sent him and that she saw my pics in his phone. ...
A. 27 March 2009: Sorry to say that there normally isnt smoke without fire! The chances are he is telling you lies and that he is probably cheating, but you need to be sure in yourself first that this is the case.
You need to sit down and take a long hard look at ... (read in full...)
I just found out that my dad died!
Q. Hi everyone I need help right now!! I just found out that my my best friend died today my dad! And I was crying all through school and my mom wouldn't come get me so I was walking around all day with red puffy eyesand I tryed to wash my makup off ...
A. 27 March 2009: Ive been in your very situation! I found out my boyfriend had died when I was at school. We had had an argument and we hadnt spoken in a few days, then I was asked by one of his friends why I hadnt attended his funeral. Well......as you can imagine ... (read in full...)
Nasty texts! How can I find out who is sending them?
Q. recently, a few of my friends have been recieving anonymous text messages from somebody which have not been very nice. we know the person sending this knows us, as references are made to personal things, but the person seems to be using an anonymous ...
A. 28 December 2008: I had a similar problem whereby my sister was receiving phone calls of a personal nature on her mobile that were not nice. We didnt know who the caller was, and it eventually landed up being texts.
I had had enough of my sister crying to me about... (read in full...)
Every time I try to leave him he always makes me feel sorry for him.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we broke up about 4 times and it's always the same reason because he drinks too much, I have lost a lot of feelings for him, I really can't stand him any more!!!! Every time I leave him he comes crying b...
A. 21 November 2008: This is a game to him. He feels that no matter what he does wrong, in the end you will feel sorry for him if he puts on the water works and tells you he's sorry! I had a boyfriend like this once. I landed up staying with him for 4 LONG years!!! Why? ... (read in full...)
I just can't decide whether or not to have kids.
Q. I am flip-flopping about kids and I am already 33. My husband is 40. He has a wonderful 18-year-old son from a previous marriage, but I have no natural children of my own. He is not unopposed to have another child but is nervous about being an ...
A. 7 November 2008: Okay, I am in the very same boat, so can totally understand you!
I am 33, my boyfriend of 10 years is 42. My parents want me to have kids NOW, and we are saying that we dont know if we want kids now or not. Kids are a blessing and not somethin... (read in full...)
Has the age gap finally caught up with us? I'm so discontent!
Q. Where do i start????...ok so im 31 and my partner of 15 years is 41, we have 2 children, and here is the BUT i dont really know if I'm happy any more, we separated about 2 years ago for a year, then got back together when we got back together things ...
A. 29 October 2008: I personally dont think its the age gap at all. My boyfriend is 42 and I am 33 and it works. But it hasnt been easy I have to say. It only works because we have had to try hard because of his work and now mine.
He is out of the country a lot, and... (read in full...)
My friends keep putting me down and tell me to lose weight.
Q. Hey people here I am again in need of help? I am having trouble about my friends because of my weight they have been putting me down an continue to make fun. Also people have been pressuring me to lose weight and treating me to lose weight or else ...
A. 29 October 2008: Well first off, I dont think anyone should be putting anyone down for being overweight, least of all telling them to loose weight or treat them with disrespect. I have suffered bouts of weight loss and many bouts of weight gain and for reasons that ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my mum that her boyfriend is my boyfriend's brother?
Q. Hey everyone.. i know that this sounds like something from a tv show, but hear me out please: I've been seeing this great guy for about 5 months, hes 24 and im 22, and we get along really well. Everything is great, like im thinking id want to marry...
A. 21 October 2008: I agree 100% with Tellulah! Tell your mom, she deserves to know what is happening. It will probably be as much of a shock to her as it is to you.... (read in full...)
Can hair be straightened after a perm?
Q. I was wondering, can you straighten your hair AFTER getting a perm at any time? Because my hair is boring straight and I'm getting tired of it. Like I want a perm but thing is I'm not going to want it curly EVERY DAY, somedays I just might want it ...
A. 20 October 2008: I have dead straight hair. I have had my hair permed on two occasions and it did a lot of damage to my hair. I cut it several times to get the perm out and eventually after a number of years the damage was minimal and I eventually got my hair ... (read in full...)
He accused me of stealing money from him! How do I get past all this?.
Q. I have been seeing a man for two years. We recently broke up after he accused me of stealing money from him. Keep in mind I have handled thousands for him and this is over $100.00. He is an alcoholic and has become out of control. During the past 2 ...
A. 20 October 2008: I agree with you. No matter what the consequences, you never admit to having done something if you havent done it. Nor should you have to.
You said it. He is an alcoholic. Having had a relationship with an alcoholic for 4 years in a previous... (read in full...)
Very attracted to him, but I haven't had the nerve to ask him if he is married. What do you all think?
Q. As a teacher I am off for the summer. During the school year, I frequent a coffee shop in the morning before going to work. When September rolled around, I met up with the morning gang. This is comprised of sanitation workers, police officers and ...
A. 20 October 2008: I agree, in todays society you cannot assume anything about anyone. Just because he isnt wearing a ring, doesnt mean to say that he isnt married.
When you are next talking, I would just mention something that would trigger a response to say if h... (read in full...)
He tried choking me and I kicked him out! So why do I feel so sad about all this?
Q. Two week's ago, an incident occurred with my boyfriend of 3yrs.,He tried to choke me which is the 2nd time, but there are other problems. He actually gave up his apt. to move in with me when this happened. He has been calling me telling me he is ...
A. 17 October 2008: There is nothing wrong with feeling sorry and upset that things turned out the way they did, but you should feel like this for the right reasons rather than the wrong ones.
You had a relationship which didnt turn out the way you had hoped it... (read in full...)
I need to protect my son, and should I seek legal advice for our future?
Q. Hi, I feel so weak, i need to protect my son. I live with my partner of 4 years and my 9 year old son from a previous marraige. Last night my partner prevented my son from using the toilet for 10 minutes because he was on the loo, then he had...
A. 26 September 2008: I am a firm believer in making sure that you have a security blanket should anything go wrong. I would think it a good idea to speak to a solicitor and find out where you stand should things go horribly wrong.
At worst you may have to sell the... (read in full...)
How do I know for sure if I'm pregnant or not and how do I tell him I think I am pregnant?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for like half a week now and we've been friends for a month...we had sex and i think i am pregnant... i'm seventeen years old in high school he's nineteen and in college...my parents know me and him are dating ...
A. 24 September 2008: Well the best way to find out first and foremost is to go and buy a pregnancy test at a local pharmacy. Take the test and then if you are pregnant, you need to tell your boyfriend.
Its not going to be easy telling him, but its something you woul... (read in full...)
Is it illegal to email a teacher out of school?
Q. Is it illegal to email a teacher outside of school in the uk? i am currently being taught by him, i am female, he is male, i am 17 and he is in his 30s, it is his personal email address and the emails are informal and of a personal nature,...
A. 24 September 2008: I dont think there is anything wrong with emailing someone who is your teacher, so long as it is not of a sexual or romantic nature.
Even if it is informal, that is fine so long as bounderies are not crossed and the relationship become more tha... (read in full...)
Can you catch an STD if you use someone else's vibrator?
Q. hi. i swear this is not about me, just wondering... if you use the same vibrator as another women, can u get an STD from it? this is not about me, and i know about sex and all that, just my family dont talk about stuff like that and i dou...
A. 23 September 2008: Yes you could catch something! But its simple, never do that!... (read in full...)
He's been asked to travel again for his work, for 3 months this time, he said he wouldn't go again but now he wants to - for the money. I want to break up over this, what do you think?
Q. Hi I hope you can help me. I have been with my partner for over 3 years now. We've had our differences but we love each other very much. His job involves alot of travel, but its normally in the same country so he is normally home at weekends...
A. 23 September 2008: My boyfriend travels away a lot for a living. He is usually gone for about 6 months at a time, then home for a week, possibly two, then away again. Contact is sometimes limited but when we do get to talk, we try and make every minute count.
Its n... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend about my debts? I would rather do some clean up before letting him know...
Q. I have really bad credit that I am working on. I don't want to tell my boyfriend but I think this is the one I will marry. I am sure we won't get married for well over a year, is it bad that I am keeping this information from him? I would rather ...
A. 17 September 2008: I dont think you keeping this type of information is wrong, since although you are sure "he's the one", it is your personal information.
I wouldnt lie to him. If he asks if you are okay with regards to finances, tell him the truth that things a... (read in full...)
My wife kissed her friend in front of me. Am I crazy to have allowed it? Is it normal seeing that they've been friends for 8 years?
Q. My wife and I have a close friend...his name is John. John spends a lot of time with us. He's single and hangs out with us a lot. He and my wife are taking a class together and they often work out together. Last night, we took John to the ...
A. 17 September 2008: To be honest I think it depends on the person. I personally would not be impressed if my boyfriend went and kissed a friend of his on the lips for at least 10 seconds. A quick kiss, fine! But not for 10 seconds, thats a bit too much. For me, I would ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my children I was abused by my dad?
Q. I was abused by my dad as a child. I have had counselling and I am now a mother. All the family know about it except the children. My daughter is now 9 and I think its time she knew. My husband disagrees and said she will become frightened of him. ...
A. 17 September 2008: For the risk factor, yes there comes a time when your daughter in particular should know, however I dont think that time is just now.
Being an abused child myself (not by my dad but someone else that I trusted)I can honestly tell you that it will ... (read in full...)
Do you think her brother will harm me after I pushed her too far?
Q. My girlfriend(my best friends sister) is a shy qutie around me, we were sitting at in my room yesterday, just softly kissing each other on the mouth and I started getting rough with her, kissing her all over and fast and I kinda forced her to do it ...
A. 12 September 2008: How can you make sure she's not upset with you? Are for real? What do you think? Do you honestly think that after you tried to force her to do something like that, she isnt going to be upset and scared of you? You need to have a serious chat with ... (read in full...)
What should I say to him or both of them?
Q. I'm in a bit of a awkward situation, I've been thinking that if I just carry on it may sort itself out, but several months later I'm not getting anywhere fast! I've been sleeping with someone I have a professional relationship with, it's not right I ...
A. 11 September 2008: Well I think its fair to say that if you dont have the same feelings for this married guy that you once did, then you should end it. No point dragging on the inevitable!
As for this other guy, perhaps you should look at being single for a short wh... (read in full...)
Did he cheat on me or am I going crazy?
Q. I’ve was dating my boyfriend for 4 months. He told me he loved me and I was the best thing that has ever happened to him. He took me away up to the lake when I was able to go and asked about what I wanted to do in my future, goals, dreams, and he ...
A. 11 September 2008: It sounds as though they are just genuinely close and that perhaps he has let his friendship get in the way of your relationship. Perhaps he enjoyed the fact that a woman was making a fuss about him, cleaning his house and doing all these things for ... (read in full...)
My mom turned forty-eight today, and it frightened me, she is not sick or anything, but I worry that my parents are getting older, and they will die, how do I stop worrying about that and enjoy them while we are all still here?
Q. My mom turned 48 today, and it scared me. Lately I've been worrying about my parents growing old and dying. Not that they're in bad health but it always happens eventually. And it just makes me so sad to see them get older. So how can I get over ...
A. 11 September 2008: I am 33, my dad is 66 and in very poor health. My mom is 56 and in very poor health, both due to diabetes.
I know that the chances of my dad reaching 70 is a LONG stretch. Everything that can go wrong with him, has and its getting worse.
... (read in full...)
I used to date this guy, we broke up, now he calls me a slut, which is very annoying, what should I do, is there a good verbal comeback?
Q. Well i know this boy named evan and he used to go out with me and then he broke up with me. but now he calls me a slut and it is so annoying and i have no comebacks so what should i say to him....
A. 11 September 2008: Simple, "It takes one to find one!"... (read in full...)
Do I face this situation now or should I just let it unfold later and face the consequences then?
Q. I have had a crush on my best friend D for a few years, a fact he has always accepted and appreciated as benign - he knows me well enough to understand that I am not the sort to manipulate or, for that matter, usurp. In turn, I know he is faithful ...
A. 2 September 2008: Personally I would deal with the situation right now. If he thinks anything of your relationship he will know that you wouldnt do anything to hurt him, and that includes saying stupid stuff when he is with this woman.
If it were me, I would ra... (read in full...)
How do I regain her friendship?
Q. this isn't about a romantic relationship.this is about my best friend who just doesn't speak to me anymore and i have no idea why. i want her back exactly a year ago i made a postsecret with a photo of me and my two best friends on. it read : i ...
A. 2 September 2008: Well I dont quite know the full extent of the meaning of the note that you had written, but some of it can be taken as very nasty. I think I know what you were getting at, but think you kind went about it the wrong way.
If you are looking to get t... (read in full...)
Girlfriend wants kids but I don't, as I already have 2. I'm afraid she will leave me as warned.
Q. I am a divorced father of two children, 11 and 9 years old. My current girlfriend has never been married and would like to have children. She has pretty much given me an ultimatum, "have another child with me or our relationship is over." Quite ...
A. 28 August 2008: I think the thing that everyone is trying to get across is the fact that this is a big decision, and it will affect both of your lives. I dont believe that anyone should give up their dreams and wishes of being a parent because one person doesnt ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend wants kids but I don't, as I already have 2. I'm afraid she will leave me as warned.
Q. I am a divorced father of two children, 11 and 9 years old. My current girlfriend has never been married and would like to have children. She has pretty much given me an ultimatum, "have another child with me or our relationship is over." Quite ...
A. 27 August 2008: You're in a bit of a catch 22 situation I'm afraid! Its a natural instinct for her to want kids considering her age and yours. I totally understand what she says, that she wants kids but to be honest, I think she has gone about it the wrong way. ... (read in full...)
Can suffering from S.A.D. "Social Anxiety Disorder" affect your sex life or performance?
Q. Does anyone suffer from social anxiety disorder? If so, how does it affect your sex life/sexual performance? Do you suffer from feelings of embarrassment or guilt after having sex with a new partner?...
A. 31 July 2008: Hey, my boyfriend of 10 years who I love dearly suffers terribly with SAD. Sometimes to the point that I actually want to kill him, and I am not joking. I personally never suffered from it so didnt understand the problem, or knew of the consequences ... (read in full...)
When he comes to my place (after work) he falls asleep, this led to disagreements between us and I'm not sure what's going on...
Q. I met this guy on a dating site and we seemed to be getting on really well, he said some lovely things to me like i was everything he really wanted in a woman and wanted us to stay together forever ect, i did believe that we had something but now he ...
A. 28 July 2008: Perhaps a little space is what he needs just now to look at his life and take stock of what this vicious circle. He may just out of the blue contact you when you least expect it. ... (read in full...)
When he comes to my place (after work) he falls asleep, this led to disagreements between us and I'm not sure what's going on...
Q. I met this guy on a dating site and we seemed to be getting on really well, he said some lovely things to me like i was everything he really wanted in a woman and wanted us to stay together forever ect, i did believe that we had something but now he ...
A. 27 July 2008: Actually I have the exact same problem with my boyfriend except its been happening for the past 8 years.
He works away a LOT. I see him very little. When he is home, he still works but comes to visit me in the evenings. He walks in, has his dinn... (read in full...)
Why can't a 14 yearold date but not sleep with a 26 year old?
Q. I was just wondering something. You know how they say you shouldn't see anyone who's really older than you, like in a loving way? like say you're a teen who likes or thinks you're in love with someone say in their 20's or 30's. say you're like 14 ...
A. 25 July 2008: The problem isnt that its wrong for two people to be together as girlfriend and boyfriend if nothing sexually happens, the problem is that this doesnt happen. It always turns sexual because all one of you needs is to be a little aroused by what the ... (read in full...)
Can I win back my boyfriend after he cheated and get things back the way they used to be?
Q. So..hello. Recently, My boyfriend and I have been going out for 1 year and about 6 months and before that on and off for about 6 months..we've been though alot for that amount of time. Cheating on his part. and I lost my virginity to him. But now,...
A. 22 July 2008: I'm sorry.........he wants you to do what????? Is it just me or does this guy sound as if he's on crack??
Sorry sweetheart but he has some nerve telling you that YOU have to win his love back after everything that HE has done.
And you need ... (read in full...)
What is worse, regret or rejection?
Q. I have always feared regret more than i fear rejection, but the rejections are mounting up I'm wondering if it would be best not to tell people i fancy them when i do, what d'you think?...
A. 22 July 2008: Trust me when I say regret is so much more painful than rejection. I missed out on someone so wonderful because I was too proud to say I was sorry. Its been 15 years and I never miss a day that I dont think of him.
At least with rejection you can ... (read in full...)
What can we do about my grandma?
Q. I'm so scared right now. My grandmother is very ill at the moment! She has severe memory loss, rarely knows what she's doing and basically has lost her mind. All the family are so concerned about her, she lives with my grandad who tries his best to ...
A. 21 July 2008: To be honest I am in a similar situation just now. My dad has severe alzheimers and he is only 66. He does stupid things and his memory is diabolical to say the least. His trade/hobbies has always been cars and buses, but obviously now he cant do ... (read in full...)
Is it my fault that he hit me, or do I just keep getting with jerks?
Q. My past boyfriends have been abusive towards me and before I got with the guy I'm with now I told him that I was afraid to get hurt again and he promised me that he wouldn't ever hurt me. Well we've been together for 8 months now and he's hit me at ...
A. 21 July 2008: Dont worry sweetheart I used to suffer from the same syndrome. You are somehow attracted to every asshole that walks the earth. But dont worry you do grow out of it!
Anyone that EVER tells you that they hit you because of YOU, deserves to be shot ... (read in full...)
Not even a birthday present from my boyfriend. What am I worth to him?
Q. It was my birthday last weekend. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. He's a very sweet guy, but not very good when it comes to suprises for me, or buying gifts ahead of time. I was over at his parent's house the day before my birthday ...
A. 19 July 2008: My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for 10 years. In the 10 years we have been together he has remembered my birthday twice, only that was only because my mum called him the night before and reminded him. He completely forgot my 30th and ... (read in full...)
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