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female
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anonymous
writes:Okay, I dated this guy for like a week, and it was more of just a fling, but does that give him a right to just dump me after having sex.. even though I told him all about my past and how every guy always does that to me. He promised he wouldn't hurt me, (now i realize that was a lie) How do I learn to trust guys again if they all do the same thing to me?!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007): that is why they dumped you...don't tell them your past..no self pitty pls
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female
reader, Pork Hock +, writes (26 May 2007):
Listen, not all change their mind after the chat prior to the event. So keep yourself optimistic...there are those out there who do actually know what they want...I hope you are ok. Cheers
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, it's weird though, cause he still gives me these looks when he sees me... maybe its just me but he acts really happy when he sees me... but yeah, thanks for all the help.. and it was never supposed to be a one night stand.. we had a talk about it before and we wanted it to be more.. but i guess he just changed his mind.. like they always do! but whatever im just gonna take it easy for awhile! thanks again! :)
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female
reader, Pork Hock +, writes (23 May 2007):
I didn't mean to make you feel I was judging you and this was something you do as easy as going for a walk. We've all had the one night stands, well I have at least where you clearly know straight afterwardsit isn't going to go any further. Don't beat yourself up and my advice is to not feel dispondent about trust and letting yourself go. You will know how you will feel and want next time. Trust is something that develops over time...
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay it's not like I tell the guy all about my past bfs that left me, this was the first time i did that! usually i dont say anything about my past, so i tried to let this guy know im not looking for a one night stand.. yet thats practically what i got... so i guess that wasn't a good idea... im just gonna take a break for a while, i'm gonna wait till i find a good guy.. hopefully theres one out there!
Thanks for your help!
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female
reader, Pork Hock +, writes (21 May 2007):
Stop having sex with them on the first or first few dates and don't tell them your resume of bad break ups...you are giving them a golden ticket for any guy good or bad to have the get out clause and collect $200 everytime they go around the board...even nice guys don't know what to do with the girl who needs rescuing nor the guy who is out there for just the game. Try being yourself and stop talking about your past. It isn't positive for you nor should you be bedding men at a snap. Why not get to know each other...anyone can have sex...meaningful is way better and feeling respectful of who you are should be paramount.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2007): It's not about waiting.
If a guy's going to stay with you, he's going to stay after a week or after a year. First of all, who wants to wait forever for sex, and second of all, wouldn't you rather be in a relationship where you know that he's in to you because of who you are and not just waiting for sex?
Just try and make sure the guy you're with isn't "that type". I know that's almost impossible, but ... dating sucks to begin with.
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male
reader, DV1  +, writes (20 May 2007):
 I'm not trying to sound mean at all when I say this, but maybe it's time for you to re-evaluate what you look for in a person. Before you get into bed with someone, try asking around, and seeing if anyone has had any bad experiences with them. It's always good to know what you're in for ahead of time. Also, you may need to be more assertive. When you meet a guy, and he asks to be in a relationshipo with you, let him know your boundaries BEFORE saying yes. I know it sounds weird, but I PROMISE that you'll save yourself a world of heartache. Always keep in mind, that it's your body, and you have the choice as to what to do with it. I know that a year seems like a long time, but maybe you should trying waiting a little bit longer. Try other things besides sex, supposing you haven't already. I'm not trying to judge you, and I don't want it to appear that I'm talking down to you in any way. I wish you the best. Keep us updated...
DV1
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionokay, well i maybe should have said that i dated another guy for like a year before i had sex with him, and he left me like a few days after too... so its not really about waiting. I can wait, thats not the problem.. and thanks for calling me a "cheap prostitute" so much for help there!
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male
reader, kenny  + ♥, writes (20 May 2007):
 It sounds like the guys you are meeting are just going out with you for sex. Spinning you a load of lies, and then listening to you talk about your past, only to get you into bed.
Are you meeting these guy's in bars and clubs?. if you are these are not the best place to meet people as invariably people are under the influence of alcohol and are not themselves.
Try a different social setting, maybe an evening class, down the gym, or even in your local supermarket. Don't despair, soon you will meet a guy that shows you the love and respect that you deserve.
Good luck x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2007): sex is not love!!! Can't you wait at least a month? In this time you will see better what a man thinks about you. Does he just wants to have sex? If he is only after sex, he will not wait so long for it and dump you earlier.
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male
reader, Rikki  +, writes (20 May 2007):
First every one is not the same. You have to learn to understand about people. If you will pay attention. You will know the true. take time before sex. Dont give up quickly....Enjoy...Dont worrry..Richi
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2007): You are only a week with a guy and already you have sex with him??? Can't you wait longer? This is just giving them what they are looking for and when they could have sex, they had what they wanted and go... If you go to bed with a man that quick, for them you are just like a cheep prostitute. This are the wrong men you are looking for!
Believe me, if you want to know if you can trust someone or not, you have to wait much longer. Don't just give in, wait! If you are dating with a man, wait for three month and you know a little more about him! Real love waits till both are ready for it! If he can not wait to have sex, he probably only is with you for sex. If you can not wait yourselfe, you will never get to know a man you can turst. To have ocassional datings and sex will hurt you much more than to wait. If you want to be really happy, you need to wait!!!
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male
reader, DV1 +, writes (20 May 2007):
If you dated a guy for only a week, and you got into bed with him, you should have expected it. When a girl gets into bed with a guy that fast, it generally gives them the impression that you were in it for only one thing - sex. You probably gave him the wrong vibes, and you paid for it. I would say that your problem doesn't really lie in trusting guys, but presenting yourself in a new light. If you're looking for a steady relationship, sex is something that you need to build to in time. Otherwise, you're going to be in a cycle that will never end.
DV1
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