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... Send *ariety a private message | | | *ariety's profile:Hey everyone!
What qualifies me to help people?...Well first of all I care, something which I think is very important. And I take the time to carfully think about any answers I give to questions.
I am currently in a relationship after many years of singledom and so I think I can look at answers from both persepectives. And I have done the whole 'I love him but he doesn't notice me' thing.
I am currently a student and I think moving to the other end of the country and into the 'real world' is really changing my view of things. I think I have now reached a level of maturity to be objective and helpful when answering questions; something that I hope will only improve as time goes on!
Feel free to message me if you want to talk privately xxx |
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What is spooning??
Q. What is spooning, and why do people seem to make such a big deal out of it?...
A. 19 May 2008: It doesn't have to be a sexual position. It can just be a type of cuddle where one parter faces away from the other one and they cuddle into each other. It is a really nice way to cuddle.... (read in full...)
What would you do??? Feeling nauseous ever since I read his ex's f'book messages..
Q. i looked at my boyfriends ex-girlfriends facebook profile last night and was very surprised to see that he had commented on her wall (a space where you leave messages)... he must delete the posts she makes on his wall so i cannot read them or ...
A. 14 April 2008: If he wrote them on her wall then hundreds of people could have seen them. They weren't exactly private messages. So he was always going to be found out. Anyone could have told you. So confront him. I wouldn't trust him at all... xxx... (read in full...)
My ex kissed me several times, although he has another GF. How do I stop ceding to this temptation?
Q. Hey Guys (: . Im 15 turning 16 =] Recently I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months. Our relasionship was nothing serious but I ended it cause it's our GCSE year at school and felt like I needed to concertrate on my studies. Wich i was to...
A. 12 April 2008: Don't respond to his advances! Obviously if I guy kisses you it is understandable that you might kiss him back...but you know fully well this is going to happen: its not as if it is the first time he has kissed you now.
If you know when he is go... (read in full...)
I've got an addiction to butt plugs, how do I stop?
Q. i have been using butt plugs for fun during sex and on my own for over four years now. Recently I have started using larger and larger ones as I haven't been satisfyed with the regular ones I used to use. I get a buzz from using bigger and bigger ...
A. 5 April 2008: I guess you just have to get rid of them if you want to stop doing it. This won't stop the urge but it might encourage you to look for new things. Or put them out of reach so it is more effort to get to them. If I were you I would look at different ... (read in full...)
How do I know when my boyfriend means it when he says he loves me?
Q. I really, really like my boyfriend. Hes really lovely and perfect to me. weve been goign otu for nearly a month and its all been great, ive shown him that i appreciate him by buying him a small gift. but how do i no that he really likes me? and a...
A. 5 April 2008: You just have to trust him. Buying gifts is not the only way to show you appreciate him. And if you feel this way when introducing older people to him it seems like you are ashamed of him for some reason. I'm not sure why else you would worry. xxx... (read in full...)
Breaking up for Uni???
Q. Hey, I noticed most of the guys who reply on this site are girls, so it'll be interesting to see the responses. I'm 17, soon 18. I've been with this girl for 6 months of more... started casual and we only spent time togehter because it was f...
A. 20 March 2008: Talk to her now about it.
One of my friends thought she would stay with her boyfriend through uni and he dumped her the day before she went. Needless to say this ruined freshers for her. He - in his defense - had assumed that they wouldn't... (read in full...)
Is she lying about filing for divorce to be with me?
Q. I am in process of getting a divorce. I am in love with a married woman who says she has moved out of their house into her mom's. I have relocated 3 hrs. away. She said she is going to file her paperwork. But then suddenly, she is going away to ...
A. 15 March 2008: In my opinion it is only two weeks and then you will know what is going on. If you love her you will let her have this time and then get sorted when she comes home. But if she comes home and puts it off again I would be more worried. Then you can ... (read in full...)
19 and I want a baby...what will my parents say after I had an abortion last year?
Q. Hi,my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now. Around this time last year I fell pregnant and had an abortion. I have regretted this ever since. We have now decided to have a baby, we will be 20 when it is born. I want this baby but im ...
A. 15 March 2008: I'm a little worried about your reasons for wanting this child. Was the baby you aborted from the same guy? If so then don't rush into having another one because of guilt. It takes a while for the female body to settle down after being pregnant and ... (read in full...)
Our mother and cousin
Q. I am 15-years-old and have a 13-year-old sister. About a year ago our parents got divorced, and my sister and I are living with our mother since then. Over the past 6 months or so, a cousin of ours - our mother's sister's 17-year-old son - has been...
A. 15 March 2008: I would talk to a trusted family member about it if you're sure its happening. But first think if there is anybody that could be the father apart from your cousin. Maybe they are just friends. x... (read in full...)
If I don't get back with him he's threatening to move 263 miles away...
Q. I am 2 months pregnant, I have just left him as he is extremely possesive and paranoid, he now has decided if I don't get back with him he is moving 263 miles away from me and my child, leaving him would mean my baby has no father I am 18 and ...
A. 15 March 2008: You live in the UK so you can go to your local housing authority and tell them you are pregnant and they will find you somewhere to live if you are homeless. If being with this guy is wrong then you don't want to bring a child into it. Mummy being ... (read in full...)
I'm sooooooo confused, can anyone tell me why did he do so???
Q. I knew a man he was preparing his divorce papers we were friends at first then after divorce we became more close i loved him soo much he was sooo decent he was trying his best to make me happy then after 4 months he asked to marry me his mother v...
A. 15 March 2008: It sounds like he got cold feet about the whole thing.
It is no consolation now but at least this happened before marriage and kids. Now you need to not focus on what went wrong but on moving on with your life and (in time) maybe finding someone ... (read in full...)
Is it selfish to expect this from a close friend?
Q. Here's the scenario: Before my friend Vicky's birthday, she went clubbing with my ex and one of my ex's friends. My ex and I had a really bad break up and she knew that he hurt me pretty bad by cheating on me. Anyways, she invited him thinking that ...
A. 14 March 2008: If he's her friend too then she should be able to invite him. At least she told you in advance that he was going to be there. I understand that you don't want to see him and that this is the root of your problem but you have moved on from him so ... (read in full...)
Can we cure my brother of his addiction to pastel-jacketed family saga novels?
Q. I'm embarrassed to say that my 39 year old brother has started to love reading family saga series - I find this pretty funny. I don't think I'd associate that type of fiction a male tends to read in his spare time. Ever since my family visited my ...
A. 13 March 2008: Let him read what he wants. How does it affect you in the slightest. This is not something that needs to be cured and it is a shame you feel this way. x... (read in full...)
Age gaps, how much is too much?
Q. Hi, i'm in a relationship with a 15 year age gap, i'm 19 and she's 34, we are very happy but, sometimes we both feel anxious over the age gap, is this gap too big to be realistic...
A. 12 March 2008: I don't think it is a problem but you obviously have some hesitations about it because you have posted here. If you are worried talk to her. x... (read in full...)
Should I tell him my true age before the situation turns more complicated? I'm not 16 just yet.
Q. So i have a pretty minior problem. First off i am 15, (turning 16 in may) and the guy i am talking too is 18 (turning 19 in may also) we have kissed once or twice, and we talk constantly. he wants to take me out on a date, and seems pretty honest ...
A. 11 March 2008: You need to be honest with him. If this is going anywhere then he will need to know your true age (how else would he celebrate your birthday with you!?)
If he has a problem then it is his loss. If not then you may just have to hold back from get... (read in full...)
My choice...His choice...Where do I go from here?
Q. My boyfriend is in the Air Force. He might have the opportunity to go to the base in DE. But, Hes being so stubborn and keeps repeating himself "I wont go without you." I keep telling him, If he doesn't take it than he will be stuck here for the ...
A. 10 March 2008: Well if you're 16/17 you probably have commitments that mean you can't go with him now. But if you think it is worth it then make plans to go with him when you are older. If you survive the time apart then it shows a lot about the strength of your ... (read in full...)
Will she give herself to me on her birthday which is in 20 days?
Q. Well i have a question...i knew this girl since freshmen year and we got close and i loved her as a sister and she loved me as a brother... im 16 and my girlfriend is 15, and were both shopmores...we started going out on oct. 07 and we started ...
A. 9 March 2008: If you want to show her that you love her then wait until she's ready. The first time you went out with her you said you were a jerk and then the next guy she was going out with was only playing her. No wonder she is hesitant about doing anything. ... (read in full...)
Ended our online relationship because it never went farther than Internet, as we are both shy. How could we talk again and... progress?
Q. Hi im Fourteen, and here is my problem. at the start of year 10 i found out this boy liked me. So i was talking to him on msn and he admitted it himself, so i was thrilled and told him i felt the same. Anyway as time went on we were only talkin...
A. 8 March 2008: Try it face to face. Or just say 'hi, I miss talking to you, how are you?' on msn. Ask him if he wants to meet up just the two of you (this would be best out of school). If you make plans to meet up then you will have a fixed point when the two of ... (read in full...)
Did my guitar teacher use me?
Q. Ok,im 16 and ive always had this thing for older men...like a lil fantasy and i always end up infatuated with any older man between the ages of like 25/38 ish who is reasonably attractive, they usually are my teachers which is worse. Sooo i had ...
A. 4 March 2008: It does seem like he used you. He got what he wanted which was one-time sex without having to make a commitment to you. Also he did cheat on his girlfriend even if it only happened once. This makes you the other woman and this is not a position many ... (read in full...)
How can I break up with her knowing she would be devastated?
Q. I told my girlfriend that we needed a "break" for now, and only for a week and she cryed alot. How will i be able to tell her that i want to break up with her if my feelings dont change during that time? She will be 100 times more upset than ...
A. 3 March 2008: To be honest she is probably expecting it. Do it to her face and spend as long as she wants with her to answer all her questions. x... (read in full...)
I only met him 3 days ago and he's really into me... thing is, I am NOT interested!!!
Q. Got myself in to a bit of a messy situation. I was at the bus stop and there was a guy who got talking to me and started chatting me up. We got on the same bus together and he we chatted some more - just small talk. He seemed nice and so when he ...
A. 2 March 2008: Be honest. Say it was nice to meet him but you don't want to pursue anything further. Or if that sounds to harsh then just say you are really busy at the moment but will get in touch with him when you have free time. Or say that you've recently got ... (read in full...)
Going on the "1st date" with a guy I like this week, and just wondered what I should wear?
Q. First date question... Going on the "1st date" with a guy I like this week, and just wondered what I should wear? We're just going for a late night coffee and some food at a coffee house so nothing formal. Girls, what do you think I should wear? ...
A. 2 March 2008: Your outfit sounds nice. Casual but a little bit nicer than usual is what I would go for. Hope this helps. PM me if you want to talk more. x... (read in full...)
Can anyone tell me what a "spit roast" is???
Q. What's a "spit roast" all these lasses at school where taking the piss out of a girl at school because she didn't know what it meant and I just laughed along so they didn't know any different. What does it actually mean? ...
A. 29 February 2008: Just thought I'd add to the previous definitions with a warning. Don't google spit roast because it will come up with some porn of a gay threesome doing it. This was something that people put on the screens of their friends computers in our halls at ... (read in full...)
What does his text mean?
Q. i got this text from this boy that i think likes me i donno what it means. "i love you can it be our little secret u dont have a bf right can u come to our beach party fri night i wanna prove it to u love u xxxxx" what does this mean does it mea...
A. 29 February 2008: He is embarrassed now and saying his friend wrote it I would guess. Are you going to the party tonight? If so have a good time and be careful but watch how he acts towards you and that should clear things up. xx ... (read in full...)
What does his text mean?
Q. i got this text from this boy that i think likes me i donno what it means. "i love you can it be our little secret u dont have a bf right can u come to our beach party fri night i wanna prove it to u love u xxxxx" what does this mean does it mea...
A. 28 February 2008: To me it seems like he wants to do something at this party. Sex maybe...maybe not but there you go. Does he have a girlfriend? Or do you have a boyfriend? Or does he want to keep it a secret for another reason. Tread carefully with him until you ... (read in full...)
Should I give it another go with my girlfriend after she cheated?
Q. I've been dating my girlfriend for 7 months now. I know it doesn't seem like a long time but we have been friends for a couple years and with her I feel different then I have with any other girl. So I was out of town recently for my job and she ...
A. 28 February 2008: She told you even after she had gotten away with it. That has to count for something. Just a thought... x... (read in full...)
I have invested so much emotionally and financially to this guy... turns out he is happily married with no plans of divorcing! What now?
Q. I had an affair with a married man for 1.5 years when his wife discovered the affair. She made him leave and because I knew how much his son meant to him, I helped him get set up in an apartment near his home and have paid for his rent for the last ...
A. 21 February 2008: Stop paying his rent and get him out of the apartment. He is a liar and is now cheating on the two of you by having secret relationships behind both you backs. What does he expect? That you will believe his divorce takes forever to come through? ... (read in full...)
I didnt have my contraceptive jab on the day I was suppose to. Could I have got pregnant since?
Q. I didnt go for my contraceptive jab on the 11th Febuary. I only had one shot before this and that was on december 1st last year. I had unprotected sex on the 16th but it only lasted bowt 15 mins and he didnt come. is it unlikely that i am pregn...
A. 18 February 2008: If you had sex - even if he didn't come - you can get pregnant. Precum contains sperm and so you could have got pregnant from that. Go and see your doctor as soon as you can to get tested. And while you're there - and if you are not pregnant - get ... (read in full...)
Do I wait until my period is finished before starting the next set of pills?
Q. Im on the pill and its slightly new to me, Im on a pill which allows me to have a 7 day break to have my period. I'm due to start taking my next set of pills tomorrow however my period is not finished. Do i wait until my period is finished before s...
A. 18 February 2008: No you take it seven days after you took the last one. The pill has an effect on when you come on your period but if yours lasts a while then you will start the new packet before you come off it. This means you are protected from getting pregnant. x... (read in full...)
How long should I wait before calling her?
Q. Before I say what happened I would like to say I am a genuine person and not a player! rite.. I was out last nite and I gathered the courage to ask for this girls number. I know her friend and had a bit of a dance with her. I asked if she had...
A. 14 February 2008: If you want to call her now then do it. It will show her you are genuine and don't care about the stupid rules that people are supposed to follow in dating. x... (read in full...)
Should I give my teacher a valentines day card?
Q. Hi i fancy my teacher, should i give him a valentines day card or would that just weird him out? help.......
A. 13 February 2008: I wouldn't do it if I were you. Yes you fancy him but you must realise that this is going nowhere. The fact you know it might disturb him suggests you probably do. However, if you do give it to him it might suggest to him that you want more than a... (read in full...)
Met her in the internet, she said she'd be back in my life by the end of the year as she planned to move closer to where I live. Do I drown my suspicions and wait out?
Q. Ok so I met this girl a year ago on the internet, she lives across the country from me. We instantly hit it off and spent hours talking to each other. After a few months we met up and we were inseperable for the whole day. A month or two lat...
A. 7 February 2008: If she has another guy in her life then she is not in a psoition to say that to you. Tell her to contact you when she lives near you and is single. Then you can get on with your life in the meantime. If she doesn't get in touch then you will know ... (read in full...)
Broke up with my boyfriend recently, how long should I wait to start a new relationship? (worrying about my reputation)
Q. I recently broke up with my boyfriend because he cheated, even after I took him back the first time. In total, the relationship lasted 6 weeks, so it was barely serious. I've met a new guy though, that I think I can have a stable and healthy ...
A. 7 February 2008: He cheated on you. So it wasn't as if you got bored and moved onto a new guy. I think you are fine to start a relationship when you feel you are ready. x
... (read in full...)
He's not writing back, what does that mean?
Q. so I had sex for the second time! and and this time it was with someone I REALLY care about! well once agian it ended badly! this kid is mormon, hes the shy type but not with me! hes very cute! hes kinda a dork! which is what I LOVE most about ...
A. 7 February 2008: If he doesn't write back then he is not worth thinking about. It is hard but you'll get over him in time. I would sit back now and wait for something to happen. If you keep messaging him it is inappropriate seeing as he has a girlfriend. If he ... (read in full...)
I am confused about my long distance boyfriend
Q. I need help!!! I'm madly in love with this boy. We live 200 miles away and have been together for a year and a half. and we broke up a couple of weeks ago. He doesn't want me to be going out and having fun like he doesn't want me going to my h...
A. 4 February 2008: What he's asking is completely unreasonable. I go to univeristy with my boyfriend but our homes are at the opposite ends of the county so we spend a fair amount of time having a long distance relationship. However, neither of us impose restrictions ... (read in full...)
Her lack of education bothers me, should it?
Q. Hi ladies and gents in the hood outta ther, happy new year. As 2007 came to an end I felt alittle bored with our relationship and was nolonger sure how long i was to conttinue with my girlfriend. 2008 came with a whole new adventure and i feel u ...
A. 4 February 2008: Well I certainly wouldn't stay in the unhappy relationship. Otherwise it will just go wrong later.
Once you are out of it then you can decide what to do about the other girl. Maybe get to know her some more and decide whether the good outweigh... (read in full...)
Therapist thinks he was molested.
Q. My sister was shocked after an 18 year relationship (12 yrs married)to find a hidden camera over the tub in their bathroom. We found it incredibly creepy for a husband to secretly watch his wife take a bath. Coincidentally, 2 days later my nephew ...
A. 2 February 2008: The child has admitted something has happened to him. What if he tells you it was his daddy (make sure he is seeing someone qualified to deal with this...there are people who will be able to get more information out of him hopefully). If he does ... (read in full...)
I'm married but I want to be with my ex. How can I do this without causing damage to my kids?
Q. Here's the situation. I love my ex. I always have and know I always will. Always felt he is the love of my life. We recently acknowledge our true feelings. Problem is I'm married. Miscommunications and a broken heart lead me to my husband to ...
A. 31 January 2008: You can't do it without hurting them. I'm sorry but that is just the way it is. Children get hurt when their parents split up. No matter how amicable the split.
But if this is the right thing for you to do then I would do it sooner rather than lat... (read in full...)
Nervous and confused.
Q. Im about to be 13 feb. 4th and me and my god sister are double dating and I have never been any where with my boyfriend cuz im not allowed 2 date but we really love each other and we are going 2 the movies on valentine's day and my mom knows that i ...
A. 30 January 2008: Why don't you mention to her that a couple of guys will be meeting you two at the cinema. Don't go so far as to say it is a date, but rather that you are going as a group of friends. You shouldn't lie to your Mum because otherwise she won't trust ... (read in full...)
I go down on her but she won't repay the favour. Contemplating break up!
Q. im 17 n want my gf to give me head but she won't. How can I persuade her otherwise? I go down on her but she won't repay the offer. and shes done it b4 with her ex and sum random guy when she was drunk and blacked out just that the fact tha...
A. 27 January 2008: Don't go down on her then. That stops the double standards. If her going down on you is that important then it is time to call it a day. x... (read in full...)
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