A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:HiRecently got myself tested for HSV1 and 2 and it came back negative for both. My partner of several months however has the virus and gets outbreaks from time to time. She told me about it about 2 months into the relationship. I thought it was something she should have mentioned earlier (she didnt) but it didnt bother me much at the time, as i knew most carried it, but now i know im negative im not sure what to make of it.Im just curious about those who are negative but dating someone positive, what precautions do you take to avoid catching it?. If your negative would you carry on dating someone positive?. As i understand it, this can be spread as genital herpes through oral sex, and is nastier if primary infection is as an adult. Obviously no kissing etc when a coldsore is present, but when is the infection chance low again? when the scab drops off?.We are both tested and negative for any other STDS, but does this mean that we need to use protection for oral etc even with no outbreaks to drop the risk of infection down?Also, im not treating her like a bio-hazard or anything daft, but ...she doesnt seem to think its remotely serious ..and i think she considers me paranoid for refusing to kiss even with a scabbed coldsore. When is the coldsore no longer infectious? when the scap has dropped off?. Am i being paranoid?. I have read the literature here but im unsure from that.Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008): You are not being paranoid at all. You can get the virus yourself even if she hasnt got a cold sore present but she should know when one is about to come. Before the coldsore shows up she will get a tingling sensation and that means it is already active.Unfortunately for me I caught genital Herpes off of someone who went down on me when he had a coldsore and I am so worried about ever getting into a relationship again because of it. I was naive at the time but have learnt alot since.Take precautions as much as you can especially if you don't plan to marry.
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (10 December 2008):
 Hi,
I think anyone in your position would feel the same way. I recently had some tests done and it scared the crap out of me until I knew everything was ok.
Your girlfriend is making light of it because, she doesnt want you to treat her any different thats all.
I found the best thing is to get advice from the NHS website. They will tell you whats safe and what's not, and if you could be at any risk.
Never-ever kiss anyone with a coldsore, they are extremely infectous, although not everyone carries herpes. Some people get coldsores when they are run down, so its very important to eat and live healthy.
Hope this helps.
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