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Should I be pregnant at this age?

Tagged as: Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 January 2008) 14 Answers - (Newest, 10 January 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Me and my boyfriend has had sex without a condom loads off times in the past month to hav a baby because last year we found out i was pregnant but got an abortion because we was not ready but now i dont no if i am pregnant now because i hav just started seeing blood in my wee which will lead to my period. please help!

View related questions: abortion, be pregnant, condom, period

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (10 January 2008):

love-him agony auntHey hon, i was EXACTLY like you at your age.. i wanted a child.. i am now 16, in three months i will be 17.. i honestly think if you and your boyfriend are in love, you need to talk about it, if you both decide then you need to talk to your families. You will need a place to stay, a child needs to see their parents equally, not staying at different homes, (thats the ideal family) and you need to think how you will provide food and a good life. Mail me so we can talk about it hon, i wish you luck with everything xxx

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A female reader, Fionaisme Ireland +, writes (8 January 2008):

Fionaisme agony auntI honestly think you are way too young to be even thinking about having a baby. How are you going to support it??? How are you going to look after it??? Are you going to give up your whole education?? You really need to think about this hun because i dont see how it could work. Enjoy spending time with your boyfriend, please wear a condom when having sex as they prevent against stds. Please dont do anything silly. You are only a teenager and are too young for big responsibilities like this.

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A female reader, deejuliet United States +, writes (8 January 2008):

deejuliet agony auntYou are waaaaaaay too young to be having a baby. I know you feel that you want one, but please stop being so selfish. Yes, I said selfish. Because if you stop for one minute and REALLY think about what is best for a child you would know that it is NOT unmarried CHILDREN for parents who cannot finacially support even themselves let alone give a child the kind of life it deserves. You would be forced to either depend on your parents or go on welfare. Neither of which shows that you are a responsable, caring, mature adult ready to take care of a baby! This is the time in your life to be a child, to have fun, get an education and learn who you are. Later, when you are an adult, have a good job and a home of your own and a husband, not a boyfriend, then and only then should you have a baby.

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A female reader, Maxine17 South Africa +, writes (8 January 2008):

Maxine17 agony auntYou are still young! You shouldn't be thinking about children yet!! You still have your whole life ahead of you! Having a baby at this age is pure madness!!

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A male reader, Abacadaba United Kingdom +, writes (8 January 2008):

Abacadaba agony auntHaving a baby at such a young age is not a good idea in my opinion. For one thing you wont have time for an education at the start, unless you allow somebody to care for your child straight away which isnt really fair on the baby, and your boyfriend...do you think hes gonna stick by you? My advise is if you arnt pregnant this time then make sure you dont get a scare again, get on the pill, use condoms (preferably both at the same time to be extra safe) But go and see a doctor about this blood, could be something simple like a bladder infection but it could be something more sinister. but i agree with Ponungalungb, you need to sort out your priorities or talk to a youth service to get more information on this sort of thing, because you obviously dont understand what having a child can do to you life, your families and of course your boyfriend and his family.

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A female reader, Charl_ox United Kingdom +, writes (8 January 2008):

Dear wrietr, do not be worried this could mean a number of things like you said your period. But 15 is too young to become pregnant because if the police found out you've had sex then your boyfriend could go to prison as you are underage. If you ar ereally worried go and see you doctor dont be embarassed doctors deal with this stuff all the time. hope that helps xx

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A female reader, AJ jess ^..^ United Kingdom +, writes (8 January 2008):

AJ jess ^..^ agony aunthunnie you are still very young and think to yourself do u have enuf time and money to support a baby? your playing with a life here x

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A male reader, Ponungalungb United States +, writes (8 January 2008):

Ponungalungb agony auntWOW! Where to begin?

O.K. How's this? What the hell are you thinking?

Do you think you're playing house, with real live babies?

You need to grow up and get a clue! You and your boyfriend need to keep your drawers on unless you're ready to support a baby/child/teenager/young adult for the next 18 years (at least). From what I can tell in your brief note, I'd say you're not.

GROW UP!!!!!!!

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (8 January 2008):

TELLULAH agony auntHi,

With any luck sweetheart your not pregnant. I cant believe that all you think you have to look forward in life to is having a baby.

What about your education, and the fun nights out you will miss. What about the holidays you wont be going on with your mates. Because when you have this baby you wont have a life of your own. And you certainly wont have any money.

Please! Please! think about it carefully. Its not the life for a 13-15 year old girl.

Take care.

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A female reader, Lorna.. United Kingdom +, writes (8 January 2008):

i think you are a bit too young to be trying to get pregant. you have your whole life ahead of you, i think your too young to even be thinking about having a child. it will completly ruin your social life. you will not be able to go out clubbing or whatever with your mates as you will have a baby to look after. and this may ruin your chances to get a good job or go to college.

altough i cant make up your mind for you, it is up to you what you do. my friend is your age and she is pregant, which was accidental she is keeping it.

but just think how much moeny this baby is going to cost you, you have to pay for food, clothes which your baby is forever growing out of, all the other things a baby needs.

i think you should really think things through and talk to your boyfriend make sure he is not going to leave you and the baby. it is easy for him to say he wants to be a part in the babys life and then just walk away once the goin gets tough.

i think you should wait until your older and if you and your boyfriend are still together then yeaah why not. but for now i think you should wear protection and speak to a trusting adult.

good luck.

Lorna

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008):

stop trying to have a baby and focus on your own life! there is no way on earth you either of you can handle the responsibility of having baby, and not once in that sentence did you mention love, and believe me, your boyfriend will not stick with you and the baby.

there i r words for girls like you!

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A female reader, Blooregard +, writes (8 January 2008):

Do you want your boyfriend to go to prison for years? Sorry I don't mean to lecture you, I understand people of different ages get feelings that make them want to have children, however, at 13-15 you should put these feelings aside and realise you are not ready to have a child. Have you thought about clothes, food, health, residence of the baby? I mean would your parents be overjoyed at bringing the baby into their home when you are barely out of school yourself? Is it guilt because you had an abortion, because if so, having another child will not solve anything it will make things very, very difficult.

If you are pregnant, and the authorities find out, be prepared to see your boyfriend get in serious trouble, especially if he is older than 16.

If you are not pregnant, please stop trying to concieve. You are far too young and if this does happen you could ruin your boyfriend's life, your life and the child's life will be unhappy because his father is in prison for statutory rape of a minor. You will have to explain to the child why his/her father is in jail, and that you were a willing participant in bringing him/her into the world unprepared. It's not a pretty life, and no baby deserves that, so please try to put your parental urges or guilt or whatever it is aside, and try to think realistically!

I wish you luck, please try to think with a clear head.

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A female reader, Fairy_Lu United Kingdom +, writes (8 January 2008):

Fairy_Lu agony auntUse a condom why the hell do you want to get pregnant at the olderst your 15! Jeez be responsible and live your life, you get pregnant and have a baby at this young age i doubt your boyfriend will hang around because love at this young age usually doesnt last long and then where will you be jobless single young mother most your friends will move on because you wont go out with them because you have a baby to look after in the end you will only have your family and i have no doubts that they will be disapointed in you for having a baby on purpose when your still only a kid, you need to do some serous growing up its not like having a toy you have to constantly look after it feed it change it burp it try to figure out why its crying at 3 in the morning you wont sleep you wont have time to think yeah you will have a baby but you wont have much else, no education you'll have to give up college to look after it and if your expecting your parents and family to look after it all the time then what the hell is the point in having one, i know teenage pregnancy appears to be the new fashion but i dont think any of them are very happy, jeez get a dog or a hamster not destroy your body with a baby your not even fully developed yet and your prepared to out yourself through all this thats just stupid.You need to grow up and live your life not throw it away because your trying to get pregnant on purpose whats the rush why cant you live your life and be happy untill you find someone who your willing to settle down with beleieve me i know you think you will be with this guy forever but life isnt a fairytale look at all the single teen mums out there who thought the fathers of there babies would stay and everything would stay the same and gues what they left when they realised how much responsibility a baby is.

I dont mean to rant and rave but your being so stupid and selfish your going to try and raise a baby when your just a kid yourself most 30 years olds have no idea how to look after babies they struggle and most of them have partners so what are two kids going to be like i would concentrate on education and getting a job then maybe when you can afford it and are old enough then you can think about it, but your underage aswell and if your boyfriends over 16 and your under it he can go to prison do you want that? Dont rush to grow up enjoy being young and being able to go out with your friends and have a good time, its gotta be better then sitting in alone every night because you have a child. (Of course i apologize if the ages are wrong and your old enough and ready to have a child).

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A female reader, loops United Kingdom +, writes (8 January 2008):

Firstly, Ive never known blood in urine lead to a peroid, so you might want to get checked out.

Secondly, just because you have sex without a condom it doesnt nessacarily lead to pregnancy.

Thirdly and probably the thing every single aunt is going to pick up on, why are you two trying to have a baby? when accourding to your age on here you are 15 at the oldest. A baby is something that should be made when you have the capability to, i.e a job, a stable relationship, a house, so on so forth. I'm imaging you haven't thought this through very far?

Babies cost thousands, where are you planning to get the money from? Do you parents have any idea what you are up to ( as they will be expected to support you) etc etc.

I would go and buy a pregnancy test if I were you and check. I would also share what your planning to do with the people who are going to have to support you... because I can imagine they wont be too happy about it considering your age. You have plenty of time to have children, trust me, having them this young means your not furfulling your potiental as a person before you bring them into the world. Yes plenty of young mothers go onto lead successful lives, but most have to work ten times as hard as those without responsibilities. Think big style before you do anything

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