A
male
 ,
*imr
writes:Hi everyone,I know I've been droning on about this, but I'm trying to make sense of it in my head and up until now I'm totally unsuccessful. My ex told me she loved me, but due to a bit of stupid drunken self pity, text her 2 days later asking her if she still wanted to see me after going out so much (see my prvious postings for details) she then ended it. A week later I found out accidentally that she had joined a dating site. I was totally gutted and I'm still trying to sort out in my head how a woman who told me she loved me could then join an online dating site. Does that mean that she was lying, did she not love me at all? We were together for 3 and a half years, how could she be cured of a relationship that lasted that length of time after just a few weeks? I want to move on, but I need to come to terms with this in my own head before I will be able to move on.I'm still devestated and in retaliation have joined a dating site and have had offers. Trouble is, I don't want to pass my baggage on to someone else, that wouldn't be fair. I hate the fact she has moved on so quickly while I'm still reeling and feel totally betrayed by her. I can't get images of how we were so close and how she may be like this with other guys. Please help, feel like I'm losing it !!! Help!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): Dude, My girlfriend and i were together almost 7 yrs and we had a childtogether, our relationship was always volotile, we split up this time for good andtwo days after i moved out she got with a friend of ours that i'd known for 4 yrs, my opinion - people use each other when it suits them, when it doesnt suit them they can be callous and cold and you may get hurt, it sucks, but thats people..
A
female
reader, carergal +, writes (28 November 2007):
 Hello,I can see you have had a trying time and you are confused. Also so is your girlfriend as she needs time to work out what is going on. Where you confused is people always do stupid things and it comes back and bites them hard. You need to prove over time that you are faithful. Just try and start over and be friends for a while as it should help restart the relationship.But understand she broke it off and only try running back once or you will lose her forever. You need to start slowly.I hope this helps you and you fully understand.Just try your best and i wish you all the best ((hugs)) XXI wish you
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A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (28 November 2007):
 Hi buddy. We've all got our own way of getting over a break-up. Some break-ups hit some people very very badly sometimes. Your mind is flooded with emotions and thoughts. It's is so painful I know. This is the downside of love. For a period you must soak in it. Write down how you feel today in all it's detail. Do the same thing once a week and every week. You'll notice how your emotions are changing and when your sanity is returning. In the meantime don't take any important decisions. Try doing something each day that is very testing mentally, requiring high concentration. I found it quite therapeutic.
You might make things worse for yourself by dating. You are very vulnerable right now. Maybe follow one up after Christmas.
You'll get there.
Good luck.
Richard
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (28 November 2007):
Just because shes 'moving on' so soon doesnt mean she never loved you. Some people have the menality that as soon as you get hit you get straight back up into the game and get going again! Dont even have a little break. This could be what shes doing. Yet, you are doing the RIGHT thing, by waiting a while, so you can deal with everythign. Any relationship she has so soon after you guys break up will probably be a rebound one and they rarely last long term. Hope this has helped you make some sense out of her actions.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (28 November 2007):
 HI,
You can still love someone but not want to be with them anymore. My guess is, that although she may have had strong feelings for you, she has realised that she is not happy with the way your relationship was going. For whatever reason she had to end it, that is her choice.
I know its hard to move on, but she is trying to, and you must as well. Joining a dating agency means nothing, she could just as easy have met a new man in the street.
But I am affraid it does mean that you have to try and move on honey.
X
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