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... Send *tina a private message | | | *tina's profile:Hi, I'm Stina! I've been an agony aunt here on Dear Cupid since July 2006 and became a site moderator the following November. I've not been able to be on here as much as I used to be, but that's because I've just started a new job. Hopefully I'll be able to be on here much more in the future. But for now, it's office work for me during the day!
Anyway, I grew up being very independent and because of that have always been able to work out problems in my life pretty well. My friends have often times come to me to help sort out what they should do in tough situations, as well. Hopefully I'll be able to help you out if you ever need advice, too! ^_^
As for who I "really" am - I'm 26, an atheist, and married. I live in beautiful Charm City, Murderland with my husband, our three hairless chinese crested pups (Ivy, Zoey, and Duncan), one smooshy floofhead dwarf hamster (Budgie; RIP Dr. Sushi T_T) and one huffy hedgehog (Nacho). I'm a quality assurance engineer and a graphic designer. My artwork has been shown all over the world including the US, France, Algeria, Australia and more. ^_^
I'm also addicted to cute animals, japanese pop culture, reggaeton, 80's hip hop and breakdancing (can't do it!, love to watch it!), experimental and avant garde films, food and tattoos (self designed).
If anyone cares to see a "real" picture of me, you can see one here: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com/profile (Check out my uber-cool snob nose! haha) I'm posting this in hopes that other aunts/uncles will post their pictures. I'm always interested to see what all of us actually looks like! ^_^
I have a myspace and a livejournal, so if you want to know anymore about me for some reason I'll post the links. (If you'd like to add me as a friend on either of these, please just message me here or on either site! I've made my accounts private to keep out the weirdos.)
Livejournal: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com |
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How can I stop myself getting hurt by every lad?
Q. how can i stop myself gettin hurt by evry lad?...
A. 18 October 2006: Hello Katz,
I'm not sure what you mean by getting hurt. Maybe you just need to get to know these guys a little better before trying to make anything serious out of a relationship. Make sure that you mesh well as friends before romantic partners... (read in full...)
He asked me to get rid of all my male friends when we got married but now he is taking womens number!
Q. Well I was looking in my husbands cell phone and found a female co-worker number in the phone and I asked him about it...he tells me it's just for them to keep in touch but why does he need to be friends with another women....he asked me to get rid ...
A. 18 October 2006: Hello Rhonda,
First of all he should have never told you who you were "allowed" to be friends with. He sounds extremely insecure and because of this he has most likely developed control issues.
Instead of getting all upset about this, I su... (read in full...)
Do you think this is the real him or should I look into getting him some help?
Q. My boyfriend, whom I live with, just recently started putting his hands on me for small nothing fights and calling me names and talking down to me. He wants to control all the money even though he says it is our "money". He says he acts like this ...
A. 18 October 2006: Hi Anon,
This does not sound like a healthy relationship at all. It might be depression, but it could be many other things, too.
Until he gets help, I strongly advise that you move out. You don't want him "putting his hands on" you regardle... (read in full...)
What does having a great emotional connection indicate?
Q. hi everyone,if you and your girl have a great emotional connection what does that indicate?...
A. 18 October 2006: Hi Anon,
That's a pretty vague question, but I'll tell you what I think. If you have a great emotional connection, I view that as having the potential to maintain a strong and lasting relationship. There are many other factors in having a good r... (read in full...)
My son got a case of cold feet after being with her 10 years now she is due to re-marry and I want to wish her the best!
Q. my son called off his wedding 15months ago after being with his girlfriend for 10 years. A case of cold feet I think. He realised soon afterwards that he had made a mistake but she wouldn't have him back and she is now getting married to someone ...
A. 18 October 2006: Hi Anon,
I wouldn't bring up the past at all. Just wish her luck in the future. I think the last thing she would really want to hear is something about her ex when you're wishing her a good life with her to-be husband. You even said that "sh... (read in full...)
Im really happy with my first BF of 8 months, but My mum keeps telling me to get out and date more!!
Q. Hi. I've been dating my bf for about 8 months now and things between us are great. We love each other and we're happy together. However, my parents, my mother in particular, is always saying that i should get out there and date more to see what ...
A. 17 October 2006: Hey,
I had a similar problem. My mother tried to get me to date other people even while I was engaged to my husband. My guess is that absolutly nothing you say seems to have any impact on what they keep doing in the least bit. Am I close? ... (read in full...)
Does this mean that I am related to the guy I've fallen for ?
Q. I don't know what to do, I think I may be related to this guy that I've fallen for. So if you can understand this, please tell me if we're related or not. He is my: Dad's uncle's wife's sister's son. So, my Dad has an uncle named "...
A. 17 October 2006: Hello Anon,
If you're not related by blood, like what it seems from your description, then I don't think there's any problem with it. I mean, as far as having kids and such (not sure how old you are). And if your family or anyone else doesn't ... (read in full...)
I'm with a guy 14 years older than me and it's killing me keeping it a secret from my dad!!
Q. I'm 17, my boyfriend is 31. I guess I'm just looking for someone to reassure me that everything is OK. We've known eachother for a year and a half, are taking things slowly, and we still have not had sex. My mom knows about us, my friends know as ...
A. 15 October 2006: Hi Anon,
You know, it really doesn't matter what anyone thinks about the age gap in your relationship. The important thing is that the relationship is good for you and your boyfriend. If you two are getting along well, care for each other an... (read in full...)
Am I about to make the biggest mistake of my life?
Q. Am I about to make the biggest mistake of my life? My boyf of 6 years broke up with me 6 months ago and I've tried really hard to move on but now I've lost my job and with nowhere to live I'm living back with my parents (I'm 28!). I've just heard ...
A. 4 October 2006: Hi Anon,
It doesn't really sound like running away to me, but more like moving on. You can't sit around and wait for something that might never happen, you know? It will only make you feel worse because you'll be dwelling on it. And that can... (read in full...)
How can I tell my bf his interests bore me?
Q. Hi, I'm in love with my bf and we have been together for two months. The problem is that he always seem interested in political issues, world crisis, climate change. These are stuff that i find quite boring. Once he get's a go at these topics he ...
A. 4 October 2006: Hi Anon,
OMG you've just described my husband!!! What I usually do is talk about it for a while with him, but after a bit I just change the subject. I try to relate something he just said to something that I find interesting. He usually ... (read in full...)
Am I ugly?
Q. No boys want to snog me because someone asked them and they said no, and then said ewwww. They will snog my best mate but not me. :( Am I ugly?...
A. 4 October 2006: Hi Anon,
No, you're not ugly. It sounds like those guys are just shallow and immature. And that's not the kind of person you want to be with in any way, so try not to let it bother you.
Take care.... (read in full...)
I left horrible msgs on his phone thinking he was cheating, I was wrong, now he won't answer my calls!
Q. Hi there. Friday night my man went out with the boys so when i called his house his brother told me he had gone out. I tried his mobile but it was not being replied. Next day he called to apologize. Saturday same thing happened ( i had missed ...
A. 4 October 2006: Hi Blackcoffee,
I know that others said to give your boyfriend some space, but when I was in your situation, I just showed up at my boyfriend's job when I knew he wouldn't have a chance to leave. He took a break and we were able to talk things t... (read in full...)
Met a man who is 40 (I'm 22)...should I date him?
Q. Hi I need some advice from someone who can help. A few weeks ago on a night out I met a man who I just clicked with. We talked for hours. Later on I found out he is a lot older than me I am 22 he is 40 but doesnt look it. He has been married bef...
A. 2 October 2006: Hey Anon,
Even if he did look his age, it shouldn't matter. If you click, then you click. So, I agree with your friend - I say go out and have fun with this guy!
You can deal with what your friends and parents say when it comes up. But s... (read in full...)
He used me so his ex would want him back and give him all he wanted...now I want revenge!!!!
Q. Revenge. Hi everyone. The last time I wrote was back in August when I told you that my ex of nearly 4 years wanted to get back with me. We did get back but it only lasted 4 weeks. He decided he wanted to go back to the woman he had left me for. ...
A. 2 October 2006: Hi Confusionz,
I agree with Camille 100%. Just stop all contact with this guy. Why do you want to turn into the jerk that you've just described? In my opinion this will only hurt you in the long run. Do you really want to be known as someone ... (read in full...)
My family are fine with my sexuality but how do I tell the boy i fancy??
Q. hello, I have recently came out as gay 2 my family and they are fine with it and everything, but i have a problem there is a boy that lives by me and i really fancy him but dont know if he is gay and i just cant find the right words 2 say 2 ask hi...
A. 2 October 2006: Hi Ash,
Well, you could always try just being friends with him first. After getting to know him better, you might not have to ask at all.
Also, do you know any of his friends? It might be easier to ask someone else if they know. This way ... (read in full...)
He told me he cheated with my friend, what should I do ?
Q. i am quite young and have a steady boyfriend of four months n the other day he told me that he has cheated on me once with my bestfriend me and my friens=d are still friends but im not sure what to do about him...
A. 2 October 2006: Hi Anon,
My first thought is that this guy and your friend really don't respect you at all. Have you talked to the both of them about this? What are their reactions? Are they sorry and willing to try and make up for it? How do you feel abo... (read in full...)
He cheated but this was last christmas, should I give him a second chance ??
Q. i have been dating my boyfriend for over a year, and i was dying my friends hair and she told me that he cheated on me with another girl. and i was like ya ok and i didn't believe her, so when i was finished i called him and asked him and he denied ...
A. 2 October 2006: Hi Jannaz,
Well, I don't really see any reason why you want to get back together with him, the only things I see that you've written about him are negative: he cheated, hid it from you, lied, and then after all of that finally admitted it (and onl... (read in full...)
Why do I feel that white women are more beautiful than black women like me? Do I need professional help?
Q. i am a single black woman and i have issues with beautiful women. my self image was destroyed a while back and now when i see that black women are not as beautiful as white women so basically what im saying is what could be wrong with me or do i ...
A. 26 September 2006: Anon,
I just thought of this, don't know why I didn't mention it before - you should really check out the writings of bell hooks. Here's a short bio from wikipedia:
"bell hooks (born Gloria Jean Watkins on September 25, 1952) is an African Am... (read in full...)
I've fallen for a women who I work with, problem is she's already in a relationship and only sees me as a friend. Where do I go from here?
Q. I've fallen for a women who I work with, problem is she's already in a realtionship and only sees me as a friend. In the last couple of days she ended her relationship and I was planning in the next week or 2 once she'd got over it, to tell her ...
A. 26 September 2006: From my last post: "Life is also supposed to be fun."
Let me expand on that - I meant that it seems like all you're feeling right now are negative feelings - and it's over someone who you didn't even have a relationship with. Stop beating ... (read in full...)
I've fallen for a women who I work with, problem is she's already in a relationship and only sees me as a friend. Where do I go from here?
Q. I've fallen for a women who I work with, problem is she's already in a realtionship and only sees me as a friend. In the last couple of days she ended her relationship and I was planning in the next week or 2 once she'd got over it, to tell her ...
A. 26 September 2006: Hello Anon,
It seems to me that waiting for this woman to break up with her man so you can get with her is a bad idea. Just look at the state you're in, you say you're destroyed.
I don't think it's healthy for you to wait around - there a... (read in full...)
I have started to fancy a boy that my mate has fancied for 2 years. What should I do? I don't want to betray my mate.
Q. my mates liked this boy since the begining of year 7 2 years ago and now i like him!!!! he always flirts with me i dont want to betray my mate but i realy like him what should i do???...
A. 26 September 2006: Hi Anon,
If she has liked him for two years and then you are able to get with him, that would probably crush her, don't you think? Place yourself in her shoes - how would you feel if she got with a guy who you had a crush on for years?
There a... (read in full...)
Husband is registered on various online dating agencies. Should I confront him?
Q. I have been married to my husband for 2 years. I know I shouldnt but I read his e-mails, I have found out that he has registered for various online dating agencies and is chatting to several different women! Should I confront him?...
A. 26 September 2006: Hi Anon,
If I were you, then I would definitly confront your husband. What is there to gain by keeping your mouth shut? Thinking about this will only get you frustrated, upset, angry and you will probably end up resenting your husband.
When... (read in full...)
What sort of questions should I be asking him if we are to plan our future together ??
Q. I have met a wonderful man and I think he is going to ask me to marry him soon. I want to be sure I have asked him all the best questions so I know him as well as possible since I may be spending the rest of my life with him. What questions should I ...
A. 26 September 2006: Hey Anon,
Whoa! Wait a minute - are you sure you want to marry someone who you seem to really know nothing about?
If you feel the need to ask questions, then I think you should slow down and give your relationship time to grow and blossom. Du... (read in full...)
Why wont she tell her parents or her daughther that we are engaged!?
Q. Why wont my fiance tell her parents or her daughters daddy that she is engaged? I have been with my fiance for just over 8 months now and i knew from the first moment that i met her that she was who i was going to spend the rest of my life with ...
A. 26 September 2006: Hi Delboy,
My answer probably isn't what you want to hear, but I think I have some pretty valid things you should think about:
Well, my opinion is that she may not be ready to get married yet. I can't see someone who was thrilled about t... (read in full...)
Got low and drunk and emailed a myspace girl a complement... Then my girl found out
Q. i was in a relationship with a great girl, we were taking things slow, then she went away with work, when she returned home she anounced that she didn't think it would work out, and as she would be away at various times of the year and she had ...
A. 26 September 2006: Hey CM,
The fact remains that you two were not in an exclusive relationship. She is convincing herself that you are bad because she still has issues that were never resolved from her last relationship.
She is also convincing you that you did... (read in full...)
How can I bring him out of his shell?
Q. I recently started living with a family in the city I have my education in, and I have noticed one of their sons behaving very oddly around me. He seldom looks me in the eye, yet when he does, it's intensely and with a smile on his face. I can have ...
A. 26 September 2006: I agree with David - it sounds like you have a fan. :)... (read in full...)
Why do I feel that white women are more beautiful than black women like me? Do I need professional help?
Q. i am a single black woman and i have issues with beautiful women. my self image was destroyed a while back and now when i see that black women are not as beautiful as white women so basically what im saying is what could be wrong with me or do i ...
A. 26 September 2006: Hello Anon,
I have no idea why you think this way - is it because someone told you this so much you just grew to accept it? Whatever the reason is, you can't go on believing this - it's just going to bring you down and depress you.
You ask... (read in full...)
My bf takes me for granted, been long distance for 2 years but will soon be together, will things get better ?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been doing long distance for 2 years but together for 4 years. I just feel like he takes me for granted and doesn't show his feelings. I know that this may be a typical guy but I've tried to talk to him about this at least ...
A. 26 September 2006: Hi Anon,
I have a hunch that he is being this way because he resents you for moving away from him, but at the same time he really cares about you.
You say that you have talked to him numerous times about what's going on and this has done no... (read in full...)
My best mate doesnt like my Bf what can I do ??
Q. one of my best friends (a guy) really doesnt like my bf My bf is the sweetest guy ever but my friend wont have any of it. Thing is they have only met once and now my friend wont even contemplate meeting him again For a while me and my friend h...
A. 26 September 2006: Hi Anon,
There are a few things that came to my mind right away as to why your friend might not want to talk to or even be around your boyfriend:
1. Your friend really sees you more than just a friend. He may have romatic feelings toward ... (read in full...)
We're both shy co-workers how do we move beyond email?
Q. I really fancy someone at work and we get along well the trouble is we never get the chance to talk to each other without everyone else hearing and we end up emailing each other reguarly. I know he feels the same way about me as I do with him but I ...
A. 26 September 2006: Hello Nicola,
If you're not ready to ask him out, as in a date, then why don't you suggest just getting together for lunch and going out to grab a bite to eat together. This way you two can talk away from coworkers and get to know each other be... (read in full...)
Got low and drunk and emailed a myspace girl a complement... Then my girl found out
Q. i was in a relationship with a great girl, we were taking things slow, then she went away with work, when she returned home she anounced that she didn't think it would work out, and as she would be away at various times of the year and she had ...
A. 26 September 2006: Hi CM,
I agree with uonlyliveonce - you didn't do anything wrong because she had already broken up with you.
The only problem with the break up is that she still had feelings for you. And that problem is on her end, not yours.
How di... (read in full...)
Is it okay to flirt behind my boyfriends back ?
Q. almost everywhere i go i see cute guys.like at the mall and stuff.they began to flirt.i have a boyfriend already.should i keep it on the down low and flirt with other guys behind my boyfriends back?or ignore the flirting by other guys at the mall ...
A. 26 September 2006: Hi Aaliyah,
If you think that you need to keep flirting behind your boyfriend's back, then it sounds like you think it's wrong. So to me, it seems like you think you should not be doing it. If it were an okay thing to do, then why would you feel... (read in full...)
My bf recently became possesive to the point of following me around everywhere, is this normal ?
Q. i've been going out with this guy for 3 years,he has recently become possessive and is following me almost everywhere,he even knows my passwords!!!is this normal??...
A. 26 September 2006: Hey Anonymous,
No, this is not normal. You need to have a discussion with him about this and tell him your feelings and see about trying to work this out.
Has something happened recently that would cause him to lose trust in you? If you can... (read in full...)
How can I become less sensitive ?
Q. Is being a sensitive man a bad thing? I am sensitive to other peoples feelings and to my own, it's not over the top, and not very obvious until you get to know me well, but how can I become less sensitive? Thank you....
A. 26 September 2006: Hi Anon,
Being sensitive is a great quality - why do you want to become less sensitive? I think it would be a mistake to try and turn yourself into someone without sensitivity. Many people would love to have a partner that is like you. I seriou... (read in full...)
Is it normal not to say I love you to someone you lose your virginity to ?
Q. Well my mate lost her virginity before me, but she wasnt in a long relationship like me and my bf. She used to always make me feel stupid, and give me the impression that i would lose my bf if i didnt have sex with him. She lost her virginity to ...
A. 20 September 2006: Hello Anon,
Sometimes people don't really connect love with sex. Maybe this is how your boyfriend is. He may have been ready/wanted to have sex with you, but he does not yet love you. So I don't really think it's a question of it being normal s... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: New features? What other sites do you use? .. and please tell a friend!
Q. Hi everyone Andrew, site guy here! I ask this periodically... 1. What new features would you like to see? 2. What other websites do you use regularly? 3. Where are you from? Thanks to all the agony aunts, moderators and of course...
A. 19 September 2006: Hello Andrew :)
Well, I've been wondering if we could possibly see on our own pages what answers people have marked as being poor. I'm all for learning from my mistakes and improving my advice, but it's pretty hard to do if I don't know what was... (read in full...)
I live with my boyfriend, but his ex wife is constantly in contact Im so worried he will get back with her! Please help!!
Q. Please Help, I am so sad. I have been living with my boyfriend for 9 months, and i love him very much. Recently his ex wife wont leave him alone. She makes every excuse to see him, even using thier children to black-mail him. they are not little 16 ...
A. 19 September 2006: Hi Anonymous,
I think the first thing you should do is sit down and have a long talk with him about what's on your mind. (Not sure if you've done this or only brought it up when she needs him for something.)
I suggest not bringing it up w... (read in full...)
Just started dating again and wondered how I would know if he likes me ??
Q. I am a girl in her late twenties and just started dating again. How do you know if a guy really likes you, how will he act etc? A guy has taken me out a couple of times and I think he really likes me and he says he does but I am not sure, as som...
A. 19 September 2006: Hi Anon,
This guy probably does like you, but is trying to still give the both of you some space. I know when I was dating my husband in the beginning of our relationship, he would go several days without talking to me (and me with him). That ma... (read in full...)
My bf blames me for everything, we broke up, I had a miscarriage, he treats me bad but I love him!
Q. Wrote earlier when I was pregnant. My bf blames me for everything. I had a miscarriage at 16 weeks. My bf blames me for telling his parents that I was pregnant. I know I did not do it but he blames me for it. His parents got sick because of it. ...
A. 19 September 2006: if this has been going on for over three months, then you really need to just cut contact with this guy. he has to know what you are going through at this point and since he obviously doesn't care, I think you should just stop answering his calls, ... (read in full...)
My bf blames me for everything, we broke up, I had a miscarriage, he treats me bad but I love him!
Q. Wrote earlier when I was pregnant. My bf blames me for everything. I had a miscarriage at 16 weeks. My bf blames me for telling his parents that I was pregnant. I know I did not do it but he blames me for it. His parents got sick because of it. ...
A. 19 September 2006: Hi Lovetolive,
Well, usually when there are problems in a relationship I try to say it's best to talk and work things out. Your case is different. This guy sounds horrible: insulting, power hungry, disresepctful, and just a straight up uncaring... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a guy of 22 to act a bit of pervert in public ??
Q. This may sound like a really daft question!! I've had just one serious boyfriend and have only just got serious with him a few months ago. We went on a foreign holiday, but it felt like he is a real perve whilst away - constantly feeling my bum ...
A. 19 September 2006: Hello Anon,
Wow - this guy reminds me of someone that I dated!
Maybe a short description of my experience will help you out a bit: At first, the relationship was good. He was really nice, sweet, and seemed to put me first. But then it's li... (read in full...)
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