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... Send *tina a private message | | | *tina's profile:Hi, I'm Stina! I've been an agony aunt here on Dear Cupid since July 2006 and became a site moderator the following November. I've not been able to be on here as much as I used to be, but that's because I've just started a new job. Hopefully I'll be able to be on here much more in the future. But for now, it's office work for me during the day!
Anyway, I grew up being very independent and because of that have always been able to work out problems in my life pretty well. My friends have often times come to me to help sort out what they should do in tough situations, as well. Hopefully I'll be able to help you out if you ever need advice, too! ^_^
As for who I "really" am - I'm 26, an atheist, and married. I live in beautiful Charm City, Murderland with my husband, our three hairless chinese crested pups (Ivy, Zoey, and Duncan), one smooshy floofhead dwarf hamster (Budgie; RIP Dr. Sushi T_T) and one huffy hedgehog (Nacho). I'm a quality assurance engineer and a graphic designer. My artwork has been shown all over the world including the US, France, Algeria, Australia and more. ^_^
I'm also addicted to cute animals, japanese pop culture, reggaeton, 80's hip hop and breakdancing (can't do it!, love to watch it!), experimental and avant garde films, food and tattoos (self designed).
If anyone cares to see a "real" picture of me, you can see one here: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com/profile (Check out my uber-cool snob nose! haha) I'm posting this in hopes that other aunts/uncles will post their pictures. I'm always interested to see what all of us actually looks like! ^_^
I have a myspace and a livejournal, so if you want to know anymore about me for some reason I'll post the links. (If you'd like to add me as a friend on either of these, please just message me here or on either site! I've made my accounts private to keep out the weirdos.)
Livejournal: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com |
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She didn't want a one night stand, so I said fine. Now she's asking me on a date and I don't know if I should go!
Q. I slept with a girl I had met earlier the same night. We had been in a bar with others, got smashed, missed the last bus and she kindly let me share her taxi (and bed!) and started giving me the come-on, so I thought "Why not?" Just as we were get...
A. 4 June 2007: Hello Anonymous,
You said that you would go. So if I were you, I would stay true to my word - it's the least you can do so you don't end up being a total jerk to the girl. Afterall, she was up front with you about what she wanted. And who know... (read in full...)
He says the phrase "I love you" is overused. So how do I tell him that I really do love him?
Q. Been seeing my boyfriend a year and wanna say i love you, but he has said to me in the past he thinks the words are overused. Now I don't know if I should say it. When is the best time to say something like that? I'm finding it a big deal because ...
A. 4 June 2007: If you really want to tell him that you are in love with him, I would not just straight out tell him "I love you." I would tell him how he makes you feel, particular things he does that you think are cute, how he treats you, why you want to treat ... (read in full...)
I'm in love w/ my nephew's ex, but she still loves him and doesn't want to break his heart by dating me. I don't want to let her slip through my fingers!
Q. I am a 33 year old guy and have been single for almost 2 years. However my 23 year old nephew has recently split from his 26 year old girlfriend and as a result myself and this girl have become very close. I feel myself falling in love with her...
A. 4 June 2007: Hello Anonymous,
You are not letting this woman slip through your fingers... Sorry to be so blunt, but she rejected you. Instead of focusing on her, I think you need to focus on something else and just move on. Whether that be focusing on a hob... (read in full...)
My new girl wants me to blackout the face of my ex on college photos... is she asking too much?!
Q. My gf wants me to blackout the face of an ex-girlfriend who i was very in love with from my college grad pics. she is in pics w/ myself, family, and other guests. i graduated in 2002. we broke up 4 years ago. i have the pics on pc and hard ...
A. 4 June 2007: Hello Mike,
There's no reason that you should have to do this. Blacking out someone's face will NOT erase the past. It sounds like your girlfriend has issues with being insecure. I would address those issues, because just blocking out someone'... (read in full...)
Help..I'm pregnant. What can I do?
Q. ok so i've asked alot of ? about me and my bf about french kissing, sex, etc. but i didn't listen to anybody cuz I'M PREGNANT!!! i ain't told my mom cuz she'll litterally kill me well when i went to wal-mart i found and took a pregnant test thing, ...
A. 4 June 2007: Hi Batman,
You need to speak with your doctor and family about what decision can/should be made. This is an EXTREMELY PERSONAL decision that should NOT be influenced by people that you do not know.
Please have a talk with your parents (or your... (read in full...)
She called me weak and said I grovelled. Then she said she was joking! I broke up w/ her - is this what she really wanted?
Q. Sorry for posting this again but I'd hoped to get a better response. I'm struggling to get over this and maybe someone out there can help me out. I need to know if I was wrong here. I went out with a girl for 6 months, during the first 3-4, s...
A. 1 June 2007: Hey there,
You said "Here is a question for you women out there..." but I think you meant to write "Here is a question for you assh*les out there..." Because that's the kind of person who really plays mind games like this. Like Eyes said, be... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and I live far apart and sometimes when I call her she makes jokes that I dont like too much.
Q. My girlfriend and I live far apart and sometimes when I call her she makes jokes that I dont like too much. For example, I called her and said "Hey, what you up to?" and her reply was "I was just thinking about fooling around with my boss". ...
A. 31 May 2007: Hello R71,
I have to agree with DV1 here. What on earth would be her point of saying something like that? Just to be obnoxious or to really try and hurt/irritate you. If you've told her how you feel and she keeps joking about getting it on wi... (read in full...)
Every time he puts on a condom he goes limp. How can we fix this?
Q. I have been with my bf fot 14 months. We started having sex back last august. We have only had sex like 15 times since as i still get a bit anxious and after a while feel pain when having sex. He finds that when we have finished foreplay and are...
A. 31 May 2007: Hey Anonymous,
Just saw that you wrote you'll get "ill" from taking the pill. What do you mean that you'll get ill? Very rarely do women experience nausea because of taking birth control pills. Is that what you mean? Again, I suggest talking ... (read in full...)
I am crazy about my cousin, should I tell him?
Q. Dear agony aunt I love my own cousin who lives abroad whereas i live in the uk i have been to his country twice for a holiday and a personal reason i have got to know him through his family but the thing is he or i have never had the guts to talk...
A. 31 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
Cousin or not, this guy is getting engaged so he is off limits. I suggest finding someone that is free and who you actually *want* to talk with and who would *want* to talk with you, too. Plus it seems like from what your mother s... (read in full...)
Every time he puts on a condom he goes limp. How can we fix this?
Q. I have been with my bf fot 14 months. We started having sex back last august. We have only had sex like 15 times since as i still get a bit anxious and after a while feel pain when having sex. He finds that when we have finished foreplay and are...
A. 31 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
A *huge* misconception about the pill is that it will make you gain weight. This is not true and is not backed by any evidence. On the other hand, there have been studies done proving that the pill does not put on weight. Here is ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to get a nude/topless photo of myself done professionally so that he can put it up in his house.
Q. Hey guys, I need some advice. My boyfriend wants me to get a nude/topless photo of myself done professionally so that he can put it up in his house. I'm not sure because I don't know why he came up with the idea. He said he would do one for me in ...
A. 31 May 2007: Hi there Anonymous, The very first thing that I thought of is the same thing that DV1 said - "Do you want all of his friends seeing you in that fashion?" Would it be awkward for you knowing that his friends (and possibly your guy's family if ... (read in full...)
My bf gets so angry, he even curses God when he plays video games! Does he have some kind of problem?
Q. My boyfriend who is addicted to a computer game turns into a totally different guy when he is playing. He starts cursing, really bad. up to the point where he is using the MF word and he also says words that put down God. I find it really ...
A. 31 May 2007: Hello JT,
My husband is the same way as your boyfriend. When he's playing video games, all sorts of curse word combinations are shouted out of the computer room. lol Afterwards, he's just himself again.
If I were you, I'd only be concerne... (read in full...)
I get really emotional over my body - help!
Q. I really need to talk to someone who understands how it feels to get really emotional over their bodies. Can someone talk to me, please? ...
A. 31 May 2007: "Yeah I know how you feel, I'm pretty attached to my body too..." LOL, Eyes!
Hi there Annie,
I suggest you make an appointment with your doctor. Find out what is supposed to be your weight range for your height. If you are overweight or un... (read in full...)
My ex won't let me see our little boy! I'm afraid our son will get the wrong idea if I take her to court! Help!
Q. Okay - my ex broke up with me. We've got a little boy that i love dearly. She moved about 400 k\m away from me. I pay maintenance, but she doesn't want me to see him. Now the thing is if I take her to court, my son might get the feeling that I w...
A. 31 May 2007: Hi there Willem, I'm wondering why she doesn't want you to see your child. But, you know, it really not up to her to make that sort of decision - it *is* up to the courts, though. I understand that you're hesitant to bring things that fa... (read in full...)
Is college fun, is it too much work, or what?
Q. I want as many opinions as I can get so anyone who has something to say, even if it's just a little comment, please respond. I'm just wondering what people think of college. I will be graduating soon and I want to keep in contact with some of my ...
A. 31 May 2007: Hi Anonymous, College is both work and fun. Just make sure to pick a major that you really like. Too many times people just pick something like computer science, etc because they think it will make them the big bucks later in life. It very w... (read in full...)
I'm incredibly paranoid towards my girlfriend!
Q. Dear People, I'm 22 and my girlfriend is 23. We've been together for about 6 months now and we both love each other. Over the past 6 weeks she has been at trainng for her work which means she spends 5 days staying at her training camp an...
A. 31 May 2007: I'm glad we've helped you, Drew. ^_^ I also pmed you.... (read in full...)
We had a developing friendship but he went back to his ex. What do I do?
Q. I am friends with this guy, we got introduced and hit it off straightaway, so much in common, have a blast together,and extremely attracted to each other. But were just friends, started to text more and more, but then he gets back together with his ...
A. 31 May 2007: Hello again Anonymous,
It seems like you have a big heart - I can tell that you aren't the homewrecker type just by the posts you've written so far. I think it's totally unfair for this guy to be doing this to you and also to his girlfrie... (read in full...)
She called me weak and said I grovelled. Then she said she was joking! I broke up w/ her - is this what she really wanted?
Q. Sorry for posting this again but I'd hoped to get a better response. I'm struggling to get over this and maybe someone out there can help me out. I need to know if I was wrong here. I went out with a girl for 6 months, during the first 3-4, s...
A. 30 May 2007: Hey Anonymous,
I have to agree with the others - be glad you're rid of her. She knew that what she was saying was having an affect on the way you viewed yourself, but she kept "joking." That's not the sign of someone who takes you or the rela... (read in full...)
Is it acceptable to give your number out to an ex when your in a relationship? Do I have a right to be upset?
Q. I have been seeing my partner for about two years we currently live together. The other day I answered her mobile and I guy who i never heard of name appeared on the caller ID. The guy never wanted to leave a message but wanted to know who I was, i ...
A. 30 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
I think it's acceptable in certain circumstances, but regardless of what happened I don't think that your girlfriend should talk to this guy. Personally, if an ex of mine laughed in my guy's face I would not want to speak to that ... (read in full...)
Big decision--do I go to the club I hate, with my friends or on a work trip?
Q. hi i know this sounds like an unimportant question but i need some help!! its my last exam for uni tomoro so all my friends have organised a night out before we all go home for summer. But its also a works trip tomoro night which i desperately wa...
A. 30 May 2007: Hey Anonymous,
If this the work trip is a one time thing and you'd rather do that, then by all means I think you should go. You can get together and go to another club (one that you actually like) another day. Your friends may be disappoi... (read in full...)
Invited to the ex's house to visit. She spent the whole time flirting with her new bf-was she playing a cruel game with me?
Q. Ok, i'm confused and need an unbiased response. My now ex-fiance and i split a year ago. Shortly after that i asked that i still see her 3yr old daughter to whom i became very attached and the child to me. She advised that wouldnt be appropriate and ...
A. 30 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
There are two ways that I would handle this if I were in your situation:
1. I would call up my ex and ask what was going on. Hopefully she'll give you a straight answer and not try and play mind games with you. If she says that... (read in full...)
We had a developing friendship but he went back to his ex. What do I do?
Q. I am friends with this guy, we got introduced and hit it off straightaway, so much in common, have a blast together,and extremely attracted to each other. But were just friends, started to text more and more, but then he gets back together with his ...
A. 30 May 2007: Hi there Anonymous,
I think the decent thing to do for everyone involved is for you and this guy to stop talking. He's trying to work things out with his girlfriend and from what I can gather from your question you're practically heaving yourself... (read in full...)
Why did my boyfriend ask me if I had f***ed him?
Q. OK...I'm a bit confused at the moment. Today, just a little bit ago, my boyfriend was making a comment about a guy's truck and I noticed that I knew him, so I stated that I thought I knew that guy. He then asked me if I f***ed him....I personally ...
A. 30 May 2007: "I don't want to lie to my boyfriend. We have an honest relationship..." Good! But just hoping that it never comes up will not resolve any problems. If you have an honest relationship, like you say, then you should tell him how questions like ... (read in full...)
He can't commit to me 100% as he is only "85% healed" from the previous relationship. Is this fair to me?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for one year and a half. I moved in with him as of September 1, 2006. I am newly divorced and he is legally separated. His wife left him August 31, 2005. He has told me he is still healing and that I need to be patient ...
A. 30 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
I think that it's more than fair that he let you know how he actually feels. Would you really want to be in a relationship with someone who just "said" that he was going to commit to you, when emotionally he was not ready?
... (read in full...)
I said one wrong thing and now he refuses to talk to me!!
Q. I HAVE BEEN REALLY STUPID!!! i have been talkin to this guy that i realli like for about 3 to 4 months now! he is really nice! well we wa chattin on msn just now and we wa laffin n jokin he wa showin me things on cam n i wa doin the same n i ope...
A. 30 May 2007: Hey there anonymous,
If you've said sorry that much, then the ball is in his court and it's up to him to make the next move. You can only do so much to maintain a friendship on your own. It has to take two people to want to be friends with one... (read in full...)
I'm incredibly paranoid towards my girlfriend!
Q. Dear People, I'm 22 and my girlfriend is 23. We've been together for about 6 months now and we both love each other. Over the past 6 weeks she has been at trainng for her work which means she spends 5 days staying at her training camp an...
A. 30 May 2007: Oh, I forgot to address this part "Don't know what to do.... not sure if i can forget about her confiding in two random guys, who i don;t know, and if she cheated on me with one of them or not?"
First, forget about her cheating on you with one... (read in full...)
I'm incredibly paranoid towards my girlfriend!
Q. Dear People, I'm 22 and my girlfriend is 23. We've been together for about 6 months now and we both love each other. Over the past 6 weeks she has been at trainng for her work which means she spends 5 days staying at her training camp an...
A. 30 May 2007: Hi Drew,
Calm down! Nobody wants to be with a nag and someone who interrogates them at every opportunity. If I were you, I would stop asking so many questions all the time. That's a given and something you already seem to understand.
Okay - ... (read in full...)
He's somewhat of a jock, always around the beautiful girls but why doesn't he have a girlfriend?
Q. so there's this guy... lol... it baffles me why he dosn't have a girlfriend because he is a good looking guy with a great personality. he's somewhat of a jock, so he is always hanging around beautiful girls, but still he dosn't have a girlfrie...
A. 30 May 2007: Aononymous,
Dude, you've desribed my brother in law!! He has all of these hot friends that are girls, but no girlfriend in like 4 years. All he wants to meet is a nice girl he says. He's not into the kind of girls that are all about jock guy... (read in full...)
I got treated bad by him and now I cry almost everyday!
Q. I need help Im a teenager and almost eveyday i cry and get upset about someone who i really like who ive done things with in the past he says he likes me on the day but he just f*cks me off the next day and hes admitted he has used me. Were really ...
A. 30 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
Are you sure you actually like, let alone love this guy? You say that he lies - how do you know what you two actually have in common. My thoughts are that he pretends to be into the same things as you to get in your pants. I would... (read in full...)
How can I find out if my girlfriend loves me in the same way as I love her?
Q. i am going out with a girl and i really love her but i dont think she loves me the same way, how could i find out if she loves me the same?...
A. 30 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
If you love her, then you should feel comfortable discussing this sort of thing with her. But then again, some people don't say that they love the other person, they show it through their actions. How does she treat you? If she t... (read in full...)
We recently had unprotected first-time sex. Could she be pregnant?
Q. Dear cupid, I am worried that my girlfriend may be pregnant. We had first-time sex recently. We had sex in the shower first, I did not ejaculate. Then, I went to my bedroom and masturbated until I ejaculated. I fell asleep for about 45 minutes...
A. 30 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
A woman can get pregnant from having a guy's penis in her, regardless if he ejaculates or not because of precum. I suggest that she takes a pregnancy test and you two use some sort of birth control in the future. If she's pregnant... (read in full...)
I'm starting to feel closer to my guy's friend. Do I leave him alone or continue?
Q. I've been seeing a guy for 2 years and we kinda fell apart, and me and his best friend have been spending lots of time together. Should I leave his friend alone or continue?...
A. 30 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
What do you mean that you and the guy you've been seeing "fell apart." Are you broken up? Are you free to date other people? How close are these guys? I'm guessing that you want to have a romantic relationship with this other gu... (read in full...)
Why did my boyfriend ask me if I had f***ed him?
Q. OK...I'm a bit confused at the moment. Today, just a little bit ago, my boyfriend was making a comment about a guy's truck and I noticed that I knew him, so I stated that I thought I knew that guy. He then asked me if I f***ed him....I personally ...
A. 30 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
I agree with Yos. And while I don't think the question was appropriate, I think you could have handled it better. I don't blame you though, it wasn't like you were expecting that question from him.
I'd call him up and tell him ... (read in full...)
I'm 16. Will a 19yr old date me?
Q. Ok, theres this boy that i've known since i was little, because we grew up together in the same church. Sounds like a fairy tale huh? The only problem is that hes 19 and im 16. Do you think hell wanna date me anyway because i'm very mature for my ...
A. 30 May 2007: Hi there Anonymous,
Everyone's different. You know him better than any of us - you've been around him for probably 10+ years, right? There's only one way to find out - why don't you suggest going out and doing something together. You don't ha... (read in full...)
Help..I'm pregnant. What can I do?
Q. ok so i've asked alot of ? about me and my bf about french kissing, sex, etc. but i didn't listen to anybody cuz I'M PREGNANT!!! i ain't told my mom cuz she'll litterally kill me well when i went to wal-mart i found and took a pregnant test thing, ...
A. 29 May 2007: Bat,
How do you know the sex of the fetus at only 4 weeks?...
And it doesn't matter what our opinions are - you need to talk to a doctor and get into family counseling because if this problem is real, you're going to need more help than any of... (read in full...)
Is it true that no parents will like their daughter’s boyfriend? Any views?
Q. Is it true that no parents will like their daughter’s boyfriend? My boyfriend’s parents absolutely love me and want us to get married. On the other hand, my parents always try to find things to criticize about and tell me I should wait and see ...
A. 29 May 2007: Hey there Yuna,
My parents did the same sort of things that your parents are doing. They even suggested I go on a date with an ex of mine while I was engaged to my now-husband! Good god, I felt like shaking my mother. I was so frustrat... (read in full...)
Living with the bf will mean a very long commute for me to work! Will this interfere in our relationship in the furture?
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a long distant relationship (2hrs drive) but still make every effort to see each other every weekend. Since now our relationship has become more serious, not seeing him for a week drives us crazy. We are looking into moving ...
A. 29 May 2007: Hi Yuna
Everyone is different when it comes to certain situations, and I think that this is one of those situations. Maybe you two can find a short term lease avilable for an apartment that way you're not stuck living there if things start to... (read in full...)
Why do men chicken out when it comes to the question of marriage?
Q. Why do men chicken out when it comes to the question of marriage? Even if they are mid twenty?...
A. 29 May 2007: Hello Anonymous,
Not all men are like this. If a guy "chickens out" when it comes to marriage, then it's because he's not ready. And that's not really "chickening out." It's being realistic and responsible so you dont end up in a doomed m... (read in full...)
I am vegetarian and my boyfriend told me he has a job... CHICKEN CATCHING!!!! I'm devastated!
Q. Even though my boyfriend knows that I am a vegetarian for animal welfare reasons, he has accepted a job offer and gone tonight chicken catching in a chicken factory. I was appalled at his decision and asked him not to go (It is a cash job for one ...
A. 29 May 2007: Hi there Anonymous,
While I don't think he disrespects you really, I think you ought to think about whether this is the kind of person who you want to be with.
I had a similar experience -- I used to be a strict vegetarian and actually dated a... (read in full...)
I am in a very unhappy marriage and have fallen in love with someone who is also unhappily married.
Q. I am in a very unhappy marriage and have fallen in love with someone who is also unhappily married. We so much want to be together it hurts being apart. What is your advice....
A. 29 May 2007: Hi Anonymous, I agree 100% with Eddie, so I don't have too much to add. You two (your husband and you) made a commitment to one another and just because you're unhappy shouldn't mean that you have a "right" to go out and be unfaithful. The... (read in full...)
My wife says she loves me like a brother and it's tearing me apart.
Q. What is wrong with my wife? I love my wife very much. I love her as a person and adore her physically. I am very warm and affectionate to her. However, I do not feel that physical bond towards me. She says she loves me but so does more so like a b...
A. 29 May 2007: (BTW - I wrote to "take an evening..." This is going to take longer than an evening to fully sort out...but the first in-depth discussion will take an evening or longer. Sorry! Should have been more clear, but you probably knew what I meant ... (read in full...)
My wife says she loves me like a brother and it's tearing me apart.
Q. What is wrong with my wife? I love my wife very much. I love her as a person and adore her physically. I am very warm and affectionate to her. However, I do not feel that physical bond towards me. She says she loves me but so does more so like a b...
A. 29 May 2007: Hello Anonymous,
Is there something that may have happened in the past? I mean, could she be holding a grudge against you for something that you two didn't completely resolve? That's the first thing that popped into my mind.
By the way th... (read in full...)
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