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*onungalungb agony aunt

*onungalungb

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*onungalungb's profile:

I'm currently single, with an 8 year old son. I've lived a fairly interesting life and have a fair amount of experience in relationships to offer advice to anyone that cares to listen.

My advice falls into four categories:

Good

Not So Good

Funny

Serious

I try to keep most of my responses on the lighter side, unless the situation calls for a more serious tone.

Don't get pissed off and email me if you don't like what I have to say. I'm just having fun.

1234567891011Next > [17 pages, 648 answers]

Why is my new husband giving me the cold shoulder?

Q.   I just got married a few months ago, but things are not going very well. Before marriage my husband talked to me for hours on the phone and would often come and visit me (we lived in 2 different states then). Now he barely speaks to me. We never ...

A.   29 April 2008: He must have enjoyed the chase, the pursuit, the dream . . . and then when he caught it, he wasn't interested. Sounds kind of strange doesn't it? You need to have a pow wow and get him to reveal what's going on in the inner sanctum of his cere... (read in full...)

I'm a stressed-out mother with a disabled ill-behaved child. Any ideas how to make her behave?

Q.   Does anyone have any ideas for a very stressed out mother with a very very hyper 4 year old child(who happens to also have a Disability Spina Bifida w/ a shunt)She also has very strong anger issues. My husband and I took her to a Phsycologist and ...

A.   22 March 2008: One other thing. I just read rcn's comments. She's trying to diagnose your child over the Internet with dime store psychology. Give me a break. And don't do anything you read over an Internet site when it pertains to taking medications, whether they ... (read in full...)

I'm a stressed-out mother with a disabled ill-behaved child. Any ideas how to make her behave?

Q.   Does anyone have any ideas for a very stressed out mother with a very very hyper 4 year old child(who happens to also have a Disability Spina Bifida w/ a shunt)She also has very strong anger issues. My husband and I took her to a Phsycologist and ...

A.   21 March 2008: Regardless of the psycho-babble you may be getting, you're letting a 4 year old control your life. You need to learn some parenting skills. I have a feeling you've coddled her because of her disability and now she knows how to push your buttons. I... (read in full...)

My boyfriend likes to choke me during sex.

Q.   My boyfriend likes to choke me during sex. I told my female friend this and she said "thats hot" Is this normal? Why do people like this?...

A.   11 March 2008: It's hot alright. Especially if he accidently chokes you to death. He's a psycho and he's trying to control you. You better wise up before you become a statistic. BTW, your girlfriend needs to wise up too. ... (read in full...)

6 year fiance just left me and won't talk to me...

Q.   My fiance and I have a lot of history and we were very much in love. I started drinking, she did too, and we started fighting, a lot. we had been living together for about 5 years, together all the time, exclusively. she loves me very much and i ...

A.   6 March 2008: 30 years old is kind of old to be partying and being irresponsible. No offense, but she doesn't sound like a real catch. If I were you, I'd just back off. If she doesn't want to see you, so be it. That may be a blessing in disguise. You'll get over... (read in full...)

Have been sleeping with one of my father's favourite employees, if this continues should I tell my parents?

Q.   My parents own a company that I have worked at for the past 3 years. Through out my years there I have always been attracted to one of the men that work there. Recently we've hung out and have begun sleeping with each other. As it stands now things ...

A.   23 February 2008: People you work with probably already know something is going on between you and him, even though you think that nobody knows. The only concern I would have would be the fact that the other employees might feel your beau is getting pref... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's friends and family are beginning to dislike me...

Q.   my boyfriend’s family and friends don’t want him to be with me anymore because i don’t have a job and i’m not in college, they don’t understand that i have a hard time going out and doing stuff on my own and it’s hard just getting out of bed ...

A.   23 February 2008: You sound like you could be suffering from depression, which can be treated medically. If that's not the case, you need to find something to exite yourself, a zest for life, if you will. I don't know your financial situation, but if you can live ... (read in full...)

I'm terrified in case I'm pregnant!

Q.   I had sex for the first time but it was unprotcted it was like a mistake.. I told my mum.. took the morning after pill between 30 - 40 hours after but how do I know if the pills worked? What are the signs to know it has? I'm really scared im ...

A.   23 February 2008: You should get a pregnancy test. Good luck.... (read in full...)

She's out of my league... is she?

Q.   ok I know this girl at work, she's amazing, we share the same sense of humour. She's smart and we have a lot in common but I need to know if she likes me, we do all the flirty stuff etc but I don't know if she's just being friendly? Anyway she's ...

A.   23 February 2008: A league of her own, eh? So what if do get shot down? Do you go wimper in a corner? No. You come out and try again . . . and don't lower your standards. It's not a shame to be shot down. The shame is in not getting back up. Go for it! You migh... (read in full...)

Should I ask her out! help me

Q.   I need help really badly, as I feel emotional right now, but theres a girl I've known, she joined my uni last year before summer, and she sat across the classroom from me, and we looked at each other a lot, first week I did ignore it, but the next ...

A.   23 February 2008: Nothing ventured nothing gained. Faint heart never won fair lady. There are a whole bunch of quotes to give one the inspiration to take a chance. I'll use my favorite . . . what do you have to lose?... (read in full...)

Am I being immature and overreacting or should this relationship be ended based on these problems?

Q.   Dating question Guy I've been dating for 5 months. 1. He has a son he gets every wkend who I've met, but never get invited when they do things. Doesn't seem too big because it's a new relationship. 2. He works full and part-time as well. I see hi...

A.   22 February 2008: It seems kind of like a long distance relationship . . . without the long distance. You don't seem to have time for each other. He has little time for anything other than work but makes time for his guy friends. He doesn't think enough of you to ... (read in full...)

Do any of you guys have any tricks that all males do to let girls know they're interested?

Q.   This is a question for all the guys. I like a guy right now but it's really hard to tell what's going on in his mind. Sometimes, I catch him looking at me, sometimes he just never looks at me when he has the oppurtunity to, from a close distance. I ...

A.   22 February 2008: I don't know what other males do but I like the "5 second smile". You make eye contact, and smile for 5 seconds. If she smiles back or doesn't, look away. You don't want to look like a stalker or psycho by staring any longer. LOL. You then look ... (read in full...)

Old bf wants me back--what do I do?

Q.   what should you do if an old boyfriend wants to get back with you ...

A.   22 February 2008: Tell him to get in line. LOL. ... (read in full...)

I have really bad flatulence. Does anybody know any cures? What should I do?

Q.   Hi. Well I have a problem and this is not a joke even though it sounds funny. But for the past...I guess year, but especially for the past few months for sure, I always get gas everytime I eat. I have never had this before. I am trying to figure out ...

A.   22 February 2008: Here, I just found the "Bean" web site for you: http://www.beanogas.com/UsingBeano.aspx Good luck! ;-)... (read in full...)

I have really bad flatulence. Does anybody know any cures? What should I do?

Q.   Hi. Well I have a problem and this is not a joke even though it sounds funny. But for the past...I guess year, but especially for the past few months for sure, I always get gas everytime I eat. I have never had this before. I am trying to figure out ...

A.   22 February 2008: It's all of that healthy food screaming to get out of your body! LOL. Seriously, it is probably something you're eating . . . maybe a combination of things that are creating the fireworks. Lentils is one thing you mention that is a definite fart... (read in full...)

This relationship puts a great financial strain on me. Should I continue being with her?

Q.   My girl friend does not make her exhusband pay child support for his 2 kids (because he is a whiny baby) he does nothing for his kids only on christmas. When they come to his house for the weekend, he does not have food for them most of the time. ...

A.   22 February 2008: Your girlfriend doesn't need to call him or see him. She needs to go to court and let the court serve him with the child support papers. He can whine all he wants but the court will still garnish his wages. If he harasses her about it, she can also ... (read in full...)

This relationship puts a great financial strain on me. Should I continue being with her?

Q.   My girl friend does not make her exhusband pay child support for his 2 kids (because he is a whiny baby) he does nothing for his kids only on christmas. When they come to his house for the weekend, he does not have food for them most of the time. ...

A.   22 February 2008: Since you're the father of one child, you have more than just a financial investment in this relationship. If you can consider walking away from your 2 month old baby, that doesn't say much about you. If you love her as you state, you need to find a ... (read in full...)

He never says "I love you", not even to our daughter.....

Q.   Can a marriage survive this way? We've been married for only 5 months, and we have a 10 month old daughter, and I am due again next month. We love eachother, and have known eachother for a long time. The thing is that there is no intimacy in our ...

A.   22 February 2008: I can't understand how you marry someone without talking to them? Have you ever asked him why he never tells you he loves you? Why he doesn't hold your hand? Why he doesn't want to kiss you? You've obviously done something over the last year or so ... (read in full...)

I can't get the fact that she went to a 'naked party' out of my head.

Q.   I'm having a real problem getting my girlfriend's past out of my head. I know there have been some other questions like this on the board, but nothing that really matches. Basically, I've been dating a wonderful woman for three months. She's am...

A.   21 February 2008: Are you jealous of her gynecologist too? LOL. I had art classes in college with nude models. If you were one of the models' boyfriends you would have had a conniption knowing your girlfriend was taking off her clothes in front of a classroom full... (read in full...)

Met him online through a personal ad...can anyone answer my questions?

Q.   Ok, so i met this guy online through a personal ad. hes totally cool and he wanted to hang out almost immediately. he seems kool and he understands that im not just in it for sex and neither is he. i kinda nervous tho. i think about him alot and i ...

A.   21 February 2008: You've got to let the game come to you, so to speak. If he's a living breathing human male, he'll know that you're interested by your actions. Be attentive and show interest in him and what he has to say, but don't fall all over yourself. From my p... (read in full...)

My cheating boyfriend wants to stay together, I think, does he?

Q.   Ive been with my boyfriend for over a year now.He's 34 and Im 25 and Ive stuck by him through thick and thin.when his car broke down,i took him to work for four straight months. He lost that job last month, i was still driving him around,spending ...

A.   21 February 2008: I don't want to sound too harsh but it appears to me that you're being used. You're schlepping him around and he's out partying with his friends and cheating on you. What kind of relationship is that? It's a good one for him . . . not so much for ... (read in full...)

Is my brother in law trying it on?

Q.   Hi there, Okay, so I've now been married two months; however my husband is stationed overseas. I love my husband, and aside from being apart am very happy. My husband's family lives a few hours away and I visit as often as I can. Over the l...

A.   21 February 2008: I wouldn't say a word to your husband. I'd simply tell the brother-in-law that you don't care to have him touching you. And mean it! I assume your brother-in-law is squeezing your knee when his wife is not present? If he ignores your request, tell ... (read in full...)

Three times my age. Taboo or Not?

Q.   I currently live with an woman who is three times my age, I am 19, she is 58. I rent a room from her while I go to a university nearby. I have lived there for a year and a half and we have been lovers since the summer of 2007. It's just too amazing. ...

A.   20 February 2008: It's funny. If a 19 year old young woman would be here writing about having an affair with a 58-year-old man, most people on here would be calling the 58-year-old a dirty old letch, and probably worse. The young woman would be described as a ... (read in full...)

How can I get my husband to Man up?!

Q.   Is there a site where professional women can talk about their lives with blue-collar husbands? I heard something about that on 20/20 or something, but I really didn’t catch more detailed info. When I got married in my early 20s I was a junior a...

A.   19 February 2008: He is probably satisfied with his life as it is and doesn't see what you see. If your husband was busting his tail in order to climb the corporate ladder as you did, you and he would probably never see each other. For you to ask him if he is gay is ... (read in full...)

What does this phrase mean?

Q.   Question for the agony aunts. What does this phrase mean? "What goes on tour stays on tour". This is regarding my husband's trips away with a couple of friends.(some are day trips and some are overnight/two days away in another country) It is ...

A.   13 February 2008: It's a paraphrase of the term "What goes on in Vegas, stays in Vegas." In other words, what he does on his business trips is his business and his alone. Sounds kind of secretive doesn't it? ... (read in full...)

I used to be on the depo- Provera but my boyfriend didnt like the side effects. Why am I now getting these symptoms?

Q.   Hi, I used to be on Depo-Provera because my menstral cycle was all messed up I would have my perioud for 3 weeks then have a 5 day break then would be back on it again. Anyways my boyfriend didnt like the fact that I was on it because of all the ...

A.   13 February 2008: Is your boyfriend a doctor? If not, I'd see a good ob-gyn and find out what's going on. It's hard to get a good diagnosis over the Internet . . . or from boyfriends. Good luck.... (read in full...)

Things seem good but why does he say he can't handle it?

Q.   What does a bloke mean when he says he can not handle a relationship with not just me but anyone although things were so good?...

A.   13 February 2008: It usually means that they don't want one or all of the following: to be tied down; to be depended upon; to have to answer to anyone; to be hooked up with one person only. It usually stems from the fear of losing one's individual freedom.... (read in full...)

Site News: We hit another milestone :-)

Q.   For the first time we broke the 400,000 visitors mark over the past month! We had 412,222 people visit the site from Jan 13th 08 - Feb 14th 08 according to google analytics! Thanks to all the mods, the aunts and everyone who shares their pro...

A.   13 February 2008: Great! Someone mentioned that some questions go unanswered. I think it may depend on the time of day when people, like me, are in front of their computer. I know that a lot of people that use this site are from Europe, and the time zone differen... (read in full...)

He seems to hate my daughter. What do I do?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years. I have two daughters. One is ours and the other is mine from a previous boyfriend. I am starting to sense that he does not like her very much. We are always fighting about it. He calls ...

A.   11 February 2008: Your boyfriend sounds like a real dick. I think you know the answer . . . the same answer you gave in your 2nd to last sentence. My last advice is for you to stop having babies with boyfriends. ... (read in full...)

Positive pregnant test turned negative. What's going on?

Q.   I was having abdominal pain,nausea,scarving for foods,breast tenderness,hungry and i decided to visit a doctor.He suggestted that he makes a pregnancy test and it was positive.he repeated the test again it was positive.This happened on the 26th last ...

A.   11 February 2008: You need to go back to your first doctor and tell him. I don't understand your need to take additional pregnancy tests, however. You need to find out what's going on and, if you are pregnant, you need to find a doctor that will be there for you ... (read in full...)

What did my ex mean by these emails and photos??

Q.   hey, Me and my ex gf broke up in October last year,the next time i heard from her was on the 1st of Jan. She sent me a email basically saying that she will always care about me and that i will always have a place in her heart..i replied to that ema...

A.   11 February 2008: I don't think she's sending you any coded messages here. It may be that she's feeling a little lonely and wants to rekindle a relationship of some sort. Maybe? You could email her a photo of a banana and roller skate and say "Gotcha back" (I have no ... (read in full...)

How to avoid a mess after sex?

Q.   my boyfriend and I have always used a condom for intercourse-but I now fancy feeling the rush of semen into my vagina.My boyfriend's not keen on the possible mess afterwards so is there a way of keeping as much in as possible?...

A.   11 February 2008: Keep a towel handy . . . or put a cork in it. LOL. ... (read in full...)

Is this an example of me disregarding my bf again??

Q.   I have been with my partner for almost 18 years - it's been pretty rocky at patches but we've always pulled through. My family and my boyfriend have never got on. My mother died a year ago and there have been all sorts of complications with the...

A.   11 February 2008: Your boyfriend of 18 years probably feels like he has some say in your decision making. Even after 18 years, he is still only a boyfriend, and as such, has no say in any decisions you make regarding your mother's will. If he doesn't like it, too ... (read in full...)

Can't find guys that share my sex fetishes

Q.   since I started having sex Ive always been into some wierd fetishes; like facials, anal, smoking fetish, and especially- BDSM. I enjoy pain during sex and many other 'strange' things.... I won't go into details.... but all the guys I end up shagg...

A.   9 February 2008: I think most guys are reluctant to do anything in bed that might be viewed as bizarre . . . unless they're given the green light. When you're dating someone you need to bring up the subject of your fetishes and see what happens. If the guy is ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend cheated on me, when to walk

Q.   I have been dating a girl for just over a year. We just got engaged in mid december. A week after our engegement i found out that she has been having an affair with her ex boyfriend of 4 years for the past 3 months. I confronted her, she move...

A.   9 February 2008: I don't know if this is what you would call "good" advice, but it's what I would do in your situation. I'd walk away. Change your phone number and get her out of your life. I think you know that's the only solution, but are reluctant to cut the umbi... (read in full...)

Do I tell the man I love that I'm not divorced?

Q.   I met a guy 2 years ago whom I began dating secretly, I say secretly because I had just moved in with my boyfriend. He knew I had a boyfriend but there was an undeniable connection that we couldn't let go of. We saw each other randomly and ...

A.   8 February 2008: I agree with Asexy. WOW!!! You've got to be looking over your shoulder 24/7. How do you live like that? Not that I really want to know. I hope your "Lover" finds out about your deception and makes a clean getaway. God forbid he marries you and you ... (read in full...)

How can I tell who's my baby's father?

Q.   I had sex in May, and again on June 7 and I am pregnant and due to have the baby on February 25, I am trying to figure out who the father would be?...

A.   8 February 2008: It depends on when you had your last period. If you had your last period on May 20 and had sex on May 25 and June 7, you could have gotten pregnant by either one. It's hard to backtrack from the due date. Your best bet is to wait until the baby is ... (read in full...)

Why do I seem to scare men away? Is there a hidden rule somewhere that I don't know about?

Q.   This thing keeps happening to me. I meet someone they flirt, they look for excuses to see me again, we end up having the longest phone conversation and they laugh and giggle and you'd think they like me and then they don't call back or they don't ...

A.   8 February 2008: Here's my number 1 rule: Never mention the ex - regardless of whether you're bad-mouthing them or not. Bad-mouthing shows that he/she is still on your mind. . . and nobody cares. Nobody. You say you talk a lot. There's fine line between talk... (read in full...)

Am I a horrible person for thinking I can have my cake and eat it too?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. He's a lovely guy who cares about me deeply but who doesn't want sex with me. We're affectionate but there's no sexual chemistry there at all. In the early stages of the relationship, I was always the one ...

A.   8 February 2008: It's time you gave your significant other a wake-up call. Tell him that you either get what you want from the relationship, or you'll get it elsewhere. If he doesn't care, then go for it. I don't understand men (boys) who would rather wack-off than ... (read in full...)

I have two men on the go at the moment. Any insight into this?

Q.   I have found myself in a situation where I have two men in love with me, both of which are younger than myself. I am petite, successful, educated and attractive, look many years younger than my age (41). I do not feel comfortable with having two ...

A.   7 February 2008: I can't help myself . . . I just had to respond to your latest post. 2 weeks with one and a month with the other and they're both in love with you? You must be magical! A modern day Aphrodite! Do you realize how vain you sound? I bet not. I thi... (read in full...)

I have two men on the go at the moment. Any insight into this?

Q.   I have found myself in a situation where I have two men in love with me, both of which are younger than myself. I am petite, successful, educated and attractive, look many years younger than my age (41). I do not feel comfortable with having two ...

A.   5 February 2008: I guess I'm one of the "smug" people that anon refers to. Nobody here can tell you which one to choose. Only you know what you're looking for in a partner. If you want two partners, so be it. Just be sure they both know about each other. Nobody ... (read in full...)

I have two men on the go at the moment. Any insight into this?

Q.   I have found myself in a situation where I have two men in love with me, both of which are younger than myself. I am petite, successful, educated and attractive, look many years younger than my age (41). I do not feel comfortable with having two ...

A.   1 February 2008: I forgot the question. BTW, I'm hot and appealing and I'm 53 . . . but I look A LOT younger. ROTFLMAO. ... (read in full...)

I have two men on the go at the moment. Any insight into this?

Q.   I have found myself in a situation where I have two men in love with me, both of which are younger than myself. I am petite, successful, educated and attractive, look many years younger than my age (41). I do not feel comfortable with having two ...

A.   31 January 2008: Hi. You are definitely stuck on the horns of a dilemma. Torn between two lovers, if you will. I was in a similar situation once myself. I was dating two women that were both attractive, attentive, and fun to be with. As the relationships started ... (read in full...)

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