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... Send *tina a private message | | | *tina's profile:Hi, I'm Stina! I've been an agony aunt here on Dear Cupid since July 2006 and became a site moderator the following November. I've not been able to be on here as much as I used to be, but that's because I've just started a new job. Hopefully I'll be able to be on here much more in the future. But for now, it's office work for me during the day!
Anyway, I grew up being very independent and because of that have always been able to work out problems in my life pretty well. My friends have often times come to me to help sort out what they should do in tough situations, as well. Hopefully I'll be able to help you out if you ever need advice, too! ^_^
As for who I "really" am - I'm 26, an atheist, and married. I live in beautiful Charm City, Murderland with my husband, our three hairless chinese crested pups (Ivy, Zoey, and Duncan), one smooshy floofhead dwarf hamster (Budgie; RIP Dr. Sushi T_T) and one huffy hedgehog (Nacho). I'm a quality assurance engineer and a graphic designer. My artwork has been shown all over the world including the US, France, Algeria, Australia and more. ^_^
I'm also addicted to cute animals, japanese pop culture, reggaeton, 80's hip hop and breakdancing (can't do it!, love to watch it!), experimental and avant garde films, food and tattoos (self designed).
If anyone cares to see a "real" picture of me, you can see one here: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com/profile (Check out my uber-cool snob nose! haha) I'm posting this in hopes that other aunts/uncles will post their pictures. I'm always interested to see what all of us actually looks like! ^_^
I have a myspace and a livejournal, so if you want to know anymore about me for some reason I'll post the links. (If you'd like to add me as a friend on either of these, please just message me here or on either site! I've made my accounts private to keep out the weirdos.)
Livejournal: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com |
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I dont want to say yes
Q. i get calls on my mobile every lunch time by this girl in the year below. i'm 16 she's 15. she tells me she loves me. she knows exactly what i get for lunch which is spooky! she's is nuts about me. but say's she wants to meet me. she wont tell me ...
A. 8 December 2006: Hi Anon,
If this girl likes you enough to stop playing games and talk to you in person, that's when I think it would be a good idea to actually get together with her. I agree - I think it's spooky that she knows what you get for lunch. Instead ... (read in full...)
Can a guy be with a girl long-term and not cheat on her?
Q. Is it possible for a guy to be with a girl for 3 years and 4 months and not cheat on her??? ...
A. 7 December 2006: Ivanna,
Looking at what pica mentioned below and the fact that you said he calls you names and hits you in one of your other posts*, does it really matter if he is faithful? Sounds like you need to (and are ready to) move on... But I would st... (read in full...)
I think i might have mental issues and it's hurting my relationship! Please help!
Q. Well me and my girlfriend are having Problems. I am 16 Years old and she is 14. We have been dating for alittle over 11 months.I feel bad about what is going on. I make her feel bad all the time,And I know it's breaking us apart. For example ...
A. 7 December 2006: Hi Anon,
It sounds like you're having a hard time dealing with things in your life that upset you. I think it would be very beneficial for you to seek the help of a counselor to help you be able to figure out how to react better to bad news, si... (read in full...)
I think he went to a bachelor party and lied to me about it last year - is it worth worrying about?
Q. I just started thinking about something. My b/f went out one night last year without me around this time of year. It was a friday. He said it someone's b-day. I didn't really like that he was gonna be going bar hopping. He said they were going ...
A. 7 December 2006: Hi Anon,
I don't think it's worth worrying about unless you think he cheated or unless you think things aren't going well in the relationship at the moment. In that case, I think it's best to bring all things to the table and discuss what's b... (read in full...)
To parents out there--would you put your 16 year old daughter on the pill?
Q. would you put your 16yr old daughter on the pil...
A. 7 December 2006: Hi Anon,
Well, I'd look at it this way - either you risk the chance of her having a kid before she is ready, or you take the safe route and help her get the pill.
Take care.... (read in full...)
I'm a bi male, age 23-would a committed relationship with a woman, work out for me?
Q. Is it possible for a 23 year old guy who has professed to be bi (has been with 7 women and 9 guys) survive in a committed monogamous relationship with a woman (which he started)? Should I be worried? Please post your comments!...
A. 7 December 2006: Hi Anon,
Like Irish said - if he is in an exclusive relationship with you, then it doesn't matter what sex he is attracted to. If for some reason you have doubts, you should really sit down and talk with him.
Personally, I'm bi and had a pas... (read in full...)
My bf is angry at me about something I have no control over! Is he overracting or am I totally off base?
Q. sorry, kinda long. Hi. My boyfriend of almost a year and i were planning to go away for a couple of days on vacation in the carribean right after my finals in school were over. Two of my professors moved their tests up one week so that we could get ...
A. 7 December 2006: Hi Anonymous,
I agree with you and the poster below: he is overreacting, being immature, and being ridiculous. If the change in date is out of your hands, then how can it be your fault? There is no way that the university is going to change t... (read in full...)
My mum is coming with me to a health check... will the gynaecologist know I am lying?
Q. Hi everyone! I have to have a complete health check-up when I go home, and my mum's probably going to go with me (even though I'm over 20!!). The thing is that I can't tell my parents that I am sexually active, so I'll have to tell the gynaecol...
A. 7 December 2006: Hi there,
I agree with the other aunts - just don't let her in the doctor's office with you and let her sit in the waiting room. Plus wouldn't it be rather awkward for her to be in there with you - especially during a gyno exam??
What the doct... (read in full...)
I know I shouldn't feel rejected when he goes out with his friends - what can I do about this?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 10months, living together for 6months, and when we are together everything is fine. However I am very possessive and every time he tries to go and see his friends I feel rejected, like he is abandoning me. So I sulk ...
A. 6 December 2006: Hi Sez,
The next time he goes out, why not invite some of your friends over and have some fun, too? Just because he's going out doesn't mean you have to stay home and be bored.
Even if you don't have friends over, you could take the time to... (read in full...)
Is it appropriate to ask for an engagement ring for Christmas?
Q. Is it appropiate when ask what I want for Christmas, to answer an engagement ring?...
A. 6 December 2006: Well in that case, I don't think there's any problems with asking for that as your Christmas present. :)... (read in full...)
When a woman is on the pill..is there a distinct symptom that will tell her she could be pregnant?
Q. Does anyone know what is the symptom if you're on the pill all along but got pregnant? I know it's rare, but would you still have your period?...
A. 6 December 2006: Hi Yuna,
If you're on the pill and think you're pregnant, then it would be the same symptoms as if you weren't on the pill. Here's a website that lists the signs that you might be pregnant:
http://pa... (read in full...)
Is it appropriate to ask for an engagement ring for Christmas?
Q. Is it appropiate when ask what I want for Christmas, to answer an engagement ring?...
A. 6 December 2006: Hi Anon,
Well, in my opinion, it would seem more appropriate to have real talk about where things are going first. Then maybe you won't have to ask for one (or make your boyfriend feel pressured in the relationship).
Take care.... (read in full...)
I was invited for dinner then left to pay, I feel used by this!!!
Q. I feel used... Heres my story: I was really busy one night, with a big presentation the next morning and exams just around the corner. My time was needed to study. Every second of it that is. Despite all this, my gf calls me and asks me to co...
A. 6 December 2006: Hi Ottawaboi,
That's terrible! If that happened to me, I would pull aside her mother and explain what you've written in this post. Most likely she will understand that you're tight on money - you're still a student for crying out loud! - and of... (read in full...)
How can I focus my mental energy without taking on hobbies???
Q. What are some ways to focus your mental energy away from thinking about someone? I'm not looking for things to do e.g hobbies or stuff like that but rather ways to stop spending time looping on useless thoughts whilst doing things....
A. 6 December 2006: Hi Anon,
Well, maybe you just need to figure out why you keep thinking about them and try to work on those emotions. Like if you're upset about someone leaving you, then figure out why it didn't work and what you'll do next time. If you're a... (read in full...)
HAd unprotected sex and took the morning after pill but..I missed my period. Am I pregnant?
Q. i had unprotected sex with my boyfriend at least 7 times in the same night 5 weeks ago and i took the morning after pill 4 days later. the lady at the clinic said it is only 65% effective because i took it late. Now i have missed my period and i ...
A. 6 December 2006: Hi Samie,
In order to be sure, you should get a pregnancy test at your local drug store. If the test comes up negative, you should maybe talk to your doctor about the symptoms you have to find out what is going on, because it seems as though s... (read in full...)
Can a guy be with a girl long-term and not cheat on her?
Q. Is it possible for a guy to be with a girl for 3 years and 4 months and not cheat on her??? ...
A. 6 December 2006: Hi Ivanna,
It depends on the relationship and the person.
If you're worried that your partner has cheated, will cheat, etc you need to have a talk with him. Find out what's bothering you and how the both of you can work to eliminate these ... (read in full...)
How do you recapture the fun in a relationship that seems to have gotten lost?
Q. how do you recapture the fun in a relationship that seems to have lost it, assuming you're both still very in love, but maybe assume only one person is willing to make much of an effort, b/c the other believes relationships shouldn't be work, they ...
A. 6 December 2006: Hi Anon,
I think one of the big things in a relationship is to keep doing new things together. It keeps the relationship lively and fun. For example - my husband and I haven't done anything really fun in like a year b/c we just moved and got ... (read in full...)
I want to break up, but when I tried before he begged for me to come back! How do I do this once and for all?
Q. Hi, im 15 and gay and I have a boyfriend thats 16, he lives 90 minutes from me, i met him in july over th internet and then we met up and we been going out togther since. This was my 1st boyfriend (i had 3 girlfreinds before but i didnt love them ...
A. 6 December 2006: Hi Anon,
Think about it this way - would he really want to stay with you just because you feel bad for him? Probably not.
Even though it will hurt him when you tell him it's over, it will be in the best interest of you both. If I were you, I... (read in full...)
Would this be classed as no longer being a virgin??
Q. if you break your hymen without doing sexual intercourse are u still a virgin ?...
A. 6 December 2006: Hi Anon,
I totally agree with Nic. Girls can break their hymen by doing all sorts of things that are not related to sex in the least bit - like wearing a tampon or riding a bike. Just because the hymen is broken doesn't mean that you are no l... (read in full...)
Ive fallen for My best Friend and I told her so, Now her GF doesnt like me being with her and I dont know what to do!!?
Q. i am currently in a relationship with a boy but...in the past i have had many sexual occasions with my female best freind!! who has recently told her parents she has a gf..she has bin with this older girl for a month or so..my freind says shes bi ...
A. 6 December 2006: Hi Anon,
There is really not much you can do about this, I mean your best friend is taken after all, so it's really her decision. You have put her in an awkward position and I can see how it has put a strain on your relationship with her. On... (read in full...)
My gf was invited to a house party by her friend, but doesn't want me to go b/c I wasn't invited!
Q. My girlfriend told me the other night that her friend asked her to go to a house party. I automatically assumed that she would want me to go but when i said this to her she said that her friend had invited just her. I was a little hurt by this ...
A. 5 December 2006: (PS - when I dated guys before getting married, they would invite me to parties that they were going to, too. So it's not really just a formality for married couples to go to parties together only. Just thought I should add that.)... (read in full...)
I was about to break it off w/ him b/c of the hassle from my family, but I couldn't go through with it. What now?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 months and split up with my previous boyfriend for him. I have never felt love like it, but my family and friends are making it difficult for me to have a relationship with him. He is your typical 'bad ...
A. 5 December 2006: Oh, I have to say something about this,
"He was upset and showed concern and said that I had to do what was easier for me. What worries me is that he didn't scream or shout or beg me to stay with him in fact he seemed rather cold about it. ...h... (read in full...)
I was about to break it off w/ him b/c of the hassle from my family, but I couldn't go through with it. What now?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 months and split up with my previous boyfriend for him. I have never felt love like it, but my family and friends are making it difficult for me to have a relationship with him. He is your typical 'bad ...
A. 5 December 2006: Hi Bleachqueen,
If you like him and he treats you well, then I would think it'd be in YOUR best interest to stay with him. Afterall, it's not your family who is dating this guy, right? It's understandable that your parents are just wanting ... (read in full...)
My gf was invited to a house party by her friend, but doesn't want me to go b/c I wasn't invited!
Q. My girlfriend told me the other night that her friend asked her to go to a house party. I automatically assumed that she would want me to go but when i said this to her she said that her friend had invited just her. I was a little hurt by this ...
A. 5 December 2006: Hi Santino,
I agree with Yos. When my husband goes to a party, he always invites me along because it's that sort of a social get-together. But when he goes out to see his friends and stuff, then that's totally different and he goes by himself ... (read in full...)
My skincare routine has got rid of spots but made my face red!
Q. I have pale skin, and I like this about my self. However, recently my face has become quite red after starting a new skin care regime. My spots have cleared up, however my skin looks and feels very tired. And red. Help!?!...
A. 5 December 2006: Hi there,
My friend's mother suffered adult acne for her whole life (she is 55) up until 5 years ago when she started using Sulfacet-R. She swears by it. Here's some info on the drug: http://w... (read in full...)
I feel like a freak. I hate: kissing, touching, cuddling, PDA, or any kind of sexual activity... Why!?
Q. Whenever i do anything i feel uncomfortable in my own skin and wish like hell to be elsewhere. i don't enjoy kissing. i don't like touching or cuddling. i absolutely hate PDA either when i see other couples or me and my b/f. I don't enjoy any ...
A. 5 December 2006: Hi Anon,
You sound like one of my friends. She didn't like being close with anyone (physically) or even being hugged by her own family. Ever since she was a baby, her mom said that my friend hated to have contact with anyone and would scream i... (read in full...)
I'm in a new relationship - should I get back on the pill asap?
Q. i havent been on the pill before an am just starting a new relationship, should i go on the pill straight away? or wait a while, jst incase we split... how long should i wait?...
A. 4 December 2006: Hi Anon,
I agree with the last poster - I would go on the pill if I were you. It would be better to be prepared than not, right? Plus there's no harm in taking them and you can stop at any time if you decide you don't need them.
Take care.... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and this man from Turkey tells me he loves me...on MSN. What should I do?
Q. Ok, im 13 right? This man from Turkey added me on MSN and we have been speaking for around a month or two, and he tells me he loves me, he is 18, and i know he is because he showed me his ID and he also speaks turkish and lives in Istanbul, Digorlu....
A. 4 December 2006: Hi Anon,
I would seriously reconsider talking to this guy again. I'm wondering why an 18 year old from Turkey can't find someone his own age - and who even speaks his language - to talk to. It's a big red flag that he was crying about missing ... (read in full...)
Took a morning after pill but is there still a chance I could get pregnant?
Q. i had unprotected sex during my period a month ago. I took the morning after pill the next day.my period is two days late.The doctor told me im pretty safe because i was on my cycle and i took the pill.What are the chances of me being pregnant?...
A. 3 December 2006: Hi Crazykid,
Here's some info on the effectiveness of the morning after pill that you took (government publication: Alberta, Candada):
Emergency contraception is most effective if taken within 24 hours of unprotected sex. Emergency contra... (read in full...)
I'm cruel to animals and am genuinely seeking help. Please help me.
Q. I hate myself for this, and you're going to hate me too, but I need help so I'm posting it anyway. I own a cat and a dog, and sometimes I'm just evil towards them. I don't know why I do it, and every time a get a new pet I promise myself that I'll ...
A. 1 December 2006: Hello Anon,
Please give these animals to another loving home (a friend, family member, etc) or a rescue/shelter. Until you get counseling for this behavior, it is not a good idea to have them around for obvious reasons. Animals should not be t... (read in full...)
I'm in love with someone else - but should I just settle for my less physical marriage or move on?
Q. I'm a 25-year old christian guy that married his first girlfriend 2 years ago (after dating her for 3 years). Before I met her, I spent most of my time behind a computer, not meeting girls. Although I was not a christian when we started dating, I ...
A. 30 November 2006: Hi WW,
This is not meant to sound nasty, but it seems as though you have already made up your mind: to leave your wife. You keep giving excuses of why it would be better to leave her: you are physically attracted to this other girl, it's not lust... (read in full...)
I'm scared to leave him, he raped his last girlfriend, what can I do?
Q. i have found out that my boyfriend is a rapist, he raped his last girlfriend she used to be my best friend until she left. they have a daughter if i dump him i will get raped and that has happened to me before what can i do he is obssed in me...
A. 30 November 2006: Hi Phibby,
You need to break up with this guy and get a restraining order if you're scared that he will rape you. If there is a restraining order in place and he breaks it, then there are reprecussions, usually involving jail time.
I would... (read in full...)
I want my guy to stop getting more tattoos!
Q. How can you make a guy not get any more tattoos ? ? ? I hate them so much they are ugly to me ! HELP ...
A. 29 November 2006: Hello Anon,
You can't make anyone do anything, first of all. Second of all, what do you like about him more - his personality or his looks? And I also want to ask - is he trying to force you to change the way you look at all? I think you shou... (read in full...)
Why is it important to have a pap smear?
Q. Why do I have to have a pap smear? I don't like doctors and haven't been to since i was probably about 12. Why is it important for women to have a pap smear, i'm fairly strongly against this because i believe that the female or anybody for that ...
A. 29 November 2006: Hi Anon,
A pap smear is done so that doctors can get a sample of cells from your cervix to test for any abnormalities (to find cancer).
Here is more info if you'd like to read up on it:
http://familydoctor.org/138.xml
So yes, while the b... (read in full...)
My conservative friends jokingly call me a whore and it's really bothering me!
Q. my new guy friends at the uni often tease me, they call me a whore and slut. i dont know why, they dont know me much its only our first yr. the only reasons i can think of is because i voice my opinions and am vocal about sexual stuff, i dress in ...
A. 28 November 2006: Hey there,
I have guy friends, too, but they have never called me any of those things. Who cares if they're joking or not? What they're doing is hurtful, disgusting and being degrading to women in general.
Are you sure that you really want ... (read in full...)
He's changing! More tattoos, cut his hair almost off, taking a steroid..what's going on with my bf?
Q. What should I do my guy is getting more tattoos???? He has 6 now and he is wanting a quarter sleeve and that isnt the guy I started dating 6 years ago. WHen we first dated till now he has always wore khakis and stuff preppy. Now he is cutting his ...
A. 28 November 2006: Hi Anon,
Being someone who has a lot of tattoos myself, I can tell you that I see where your boyfriend is coming from. It is his body and if he is happy decorating it with his style of art, then you really need to let it go. It's nothing ... (read in full...)
Am i still depressed even though I take medications? What's going on?
Q. I sleep in most of the day I find my life as nothing that i want to do. I'v gained some weight and i don't even like it but before i was to skinny. When i was pmsing i was upset more than usual. Am i still depressed even though I take medications or ...
A. 27 November 2006: Hi Anon,
It sounds like you need to make another appointment with your doctor. Tell him/her what's been going on and maybe another medication or stronger dose would help.
I'm wondering if you have a therapist, because that person might hel... (read in full...)
He came in me, but I think I got it out. Can I still get pregnant?
Q. I am 22 years old and me and my boyfriend had sex last night. When he stopped he told me that he did come inside me but it was just a little bit. I got right up and went to the bathroom. I may have gotten it out. But would I still get pregnant?...
A. 27 November 2006: Hi there Anon,
Yes, you can still get pregnant. Go ahead and call your doctor right now to get the morning after pill - it has to be done within 72 hours of intercourse. It will most likely make you feel sick to your stomach, but it's better t... (read in full...)
He pulled out but then we had sex again! How can I prevent pregnancy?
Q. Hey im 15 yrs old turning 16 today I had sex for the first time! It did'nt last long but he didnt have a condom and he pulled out and he wiped it off and put it back in. It was only like a 10 min thing. But I have one more week until my next period ...
A. 16 November 2006: Hi Anon,
Please call your doctor right away and get the morning after pill (it's basically just a huge dose of birth control pills). It will make you sick to your stomach and will probably force you to go on your period sooner than usual, b... (read in full...)
He wants to invite his friends to our wedding - but these friends always ignore me! Any advice?
Q. im getting married next year. its to be a small wedding as i dont have a large family so there are only to be 40 or so guests. my fiancee wants to invite his friend and his wife whom i really cant stand.they both ignore me when i see them preferring ...
A. 16 November 2006: Hi Anon,
I'm wondering if these two people don't talk directly to you because they think you don't like them (which is true according to your post). Maybe if you try to talk with them the next time they're talking with your fiance, instead ... (read in full...)
How can a 20 y/o guy make his nipples more firm?
Q. Hi. This is a bit odd I know, but anyway here goes! I am a guy in my early 20s. My nipples are really soft and just about never firm. Sometimes they are si soft they are just about flat. Does anyone know what this means or how I can make them ...
A. 16 November 2006: Hey man,
What's the problem? You sound pretty normal to me. I think it would be more of a problem (and actually quite weird) if you had nips poking out of your shirt all the time, don't you? heh... (read in full...)
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