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... Send *tina a private message | | | *tina's profile:Hi, I'm Stina! I've been an agony aunt here on Dear Cupid since July 2006 and became a site moderator the following November. I've not been able to be on here as much as I used to be, but that's because I've just started a new job. Hopefully I'll be able to be on here much more in the future. But for now, it's office work for me during the day!
Anyway, I grew up being very independent and because of that have always been able to work out problems in my life pretty well. My friends have often times come to me to help sort out what they should do in tough situations, as well. Hopefully I'll be able to help you out if you ever need advice, too! ^_^
As for who I "really" am - I'm 26, an atheist, and married. I live in beautiful Charm City, Murderland with my husband, our three hairless chinese crested pups (Ivy, Zoey, and Duncan), one smooshy floofhead dwarf hamster (Budgie; RIP Dr. Sushi T_T) and one huffy hedgehog (Nacho). I'm a quality assurance engineer and a graphic designer. My artwork has been shown all over the world including the US, France, Algeria, Australia and more. ^_^
I'm also addicted to cute animals, japanese pop culture, reggaeton, 80's hip hop and breakdancing (can't do it!, love to watch it!), experimental and avant garde films, food and tattoos (self designed).
If anyone cares to see a "real" picture of me, you can see one here: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com/profile (Check out my uber-cool snob nose! haha) I'm posting this in hopes that other aunts/uncles will post their pictures. I'm always interested to see what all of us actually looks like! ^_^
I have a myspace and a livejournal, so if you want to know anymore about me for some reason I'll post the links. (If you'd like to add me as a friend on either of these, please just message me here or on either site! I've made my accounts private to keep out the weirdos.)
Livejournal: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com |
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I had sex with my brother and I'm worried about being pregnant.
Q. I had sex with my brother I only started my period a month ago and I know your not even supposed to have produced eggs by this point but I'm worried and I don't want tests or to tell anyone. Please help....
A. 31 August 2007: "Also, to the woman named Stina, I am curious as to why you don't think it's wrong to have sex with a sibling." Because I don't care who has sex with who as long as it's consensual between both (or more) parties. (Why should I be interested in... (read in full...)
I've taken the morning after pill twice, can i take it again? Is this safe?
Q. I had sex just as i was coming off my period, but the condom split, am i stil able to take th morning after pill. also iv taken th pill twice before. is this safe? would it affect my babies later in life?...
A. 29 August 2007: Hello Boo,
The morning after pill just has a higher concentration of progesterone - it's like taking multiple birth control pills at once. I don't see why this would have any long term affects on your reproductive system/ability to have children... (read in full...)
I was drunk and stoned he took advantage last night what should i do
Q. i was drunk and stoned he took advantage last night what should i do...
A. 28 August 2007: Hello Anonymous,
First, do what Yummy stated - get tested for any STDs - call your doctor and make an appointment.
Second, stop smoking weed and getting drunk.
Third, if you told him not to do something sexual to you and he did, then talk wi... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and friends with a 14 year old girl. Others are saying this is wrong. What do you think?
Q. okay well im 17 and there's a kid who is very special to me (lets call her hannah) well she is 14 going on 15. I've known her since the day she was born and our families are very close. I have grown up with her and always looked out for her like an ...
A. 28 August 2007: Hi there Clive,
I don't think you've done anything wrong at all. Let me tell you what I first thought of when I read your question - the guy who said it's wrong is jealous. He may not be, but in either case it's really not any of his business... (read in full...)
My guy doesn't like me going on dear cupid! He says it's porn with words!But i enjoy it..
Q. My boyfriend gets mad at me when I go on Dear Cupid! I am a stay at home mom, and I'm pregnant so I don't have much of a life. I go on Dear Cupid and I like to try to help by giving people advice. My b.f. gets mad at me and says that the ...
A. 28 August 2007: Night,
"And marriage counseling...we aren't married..." Marriage counseling or couples counseling - whatever was suggested, the bottom line is that it was suggested that you seek relationship counseling with your partner. I think it could re... (read in full...)
I've cheated on him 4 times but feel so guilty. Should i tell him??
Q. Please can you help me. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and love him very much, we talk about getting married and having children. However last year I cheated on him 4 times. Even now I cant explain why I did it; I lost both my grand...
A. 28 August 2007: Hello Anonymous,
I honestly think from reading your post that you're really not ready to be in an exclusive relationship with anyone. Cheating once is bad enough, but four times really says to me that you are not ready to settle down.
You are... (read in full...)
I feel so bad for ending it with my ex - he is completely devastated!
Q. I've just come through what has to be the worst few days of my life. i broke up with my boyfriend of 4 months knowing that the spark or excitement had never really existed between us. i know i will miss him but i can see that there's someone better ...
A. 28 August 2007: Hi Shelle,
There is not much you can do to ease his pain. My first thought it to not speak with him so it's a clean break. The more he talks to you, the worse he's going to feel. Why? Because it's a constant reminder of someone that he canno... (read in full...)
I made rules about when me and my bf should contact each other - but he skipped his turn to contact me!
Q. Hey.. Ok so my boyfriend n me have been together for 6 months, and the first 5 months were just amazing. he was doing all the chasing just like i wanted! until that stopped. i mean, he was always the one calling n texting me first, always in...
A. 28 August 2007: Hi Anonymous,
Why do you have to take turns? Why don't you just call each other when you each feel like talking or getting together? Sorry, but I don't get it. I don't really think your boyfriend understands, either. Relationships are supposed... (read in full...)
My guy doesn't like me going on dear cupid! He says it's porn with words!But i enjoy it..
Q. My boyfriend gets mad at me when I go on Dear Cupid! I am a stay at home mom, and I'm pregnant so I don't have much of a life. I go on Dear Cupid and I like to try to help by giving people advice. My b.f. gets mad at me and says that the ...
A. 28 August 2007: Hey Night,
I don't think yummy was trying to attack you - from reading your post, it seems like you think that's what she's done. I agree with her that perhaps while you and your guy work through some problems, the internet can take a break wh... (read in full...)
My guy doesn't like me going on dear cupid! He says it's porn with words!But i enjoy it..
Q. My boyfriend gets mad at me when I go on Dear Cupid! I am a stay at home mom, and I'm pregnant so I don't have much of a life. I go on Dear Cupid and I like to try to help by giving people advice. My b.f. gets mad at me and says that the ...
A. 27 August 2007: Hello Night,
This is not healthy for either one of you. You should not be trying to control what the other does or looks at, especially with things that are so trivial in your lives. Have you considered couples therapy? I think there's more goi... (read in full...)
My brother has ADHD. My mum thinks i will not have the same and end up ruining my life??
Q. I have a very stupid brother with the common sense of a fly....but he has a very bad case of ADHD and a bunch of other things...so hes labelled mentally ill,but hes not retarded. unfortunately though my mother thinks i am just like him and am going ...
A. 27 August 2007: Hi Metal,
If your mother has this kind of mindset, there's not much you can do except show her that you're not going to make the same mistakes that your brother has made. Try not to let her problem become your problem. Do what's best for you ... (read in full...)
Rang on this stranger who told me was playing a gig this week, my bf didn't take it easy! Advice, pls?
Q. Hi all (again) I wrote just a few days ago ,regarding my 3 year relatonship with a widower. I did somethinig really stupid in a time of uncertainty, and was chatted up by another man, who gave me his number. I rang him as he said he was in a band, ...
A. 27 August 2007: Hello Sooty,
About going to the show: My advice is to decline the offer or tell the other guy that your boyfriend would be joining you if you showed up.
About the upset boyfriend: Did this happen when he said he didn't love you anymore? Or wer... (read in full...)
Is it selfish of me to expect to be paid to babysit my sister's daughter?
Q. I am a stay at home mom with a 4 mo. old, and I'm also pregnant. My older sister works full time and whenever her day care woman is unavailable, she asks me to watch her 4 y/o daughter. She gets here at 6 a.m. to drop her off, and doesn't pick her ...
A. 27 August 2007: Oops! I accidentally wrote "Since you are left in her [your niece's] care..." and I meant to write that she's in your care (obviously!). Guess that shows what your post really said to me. Don't let your good nature allow you to be taken advantage ... (read in full...)
Is it selfish of me to expect to be paid to babysit my sister's daughter?
Q. I am a stay at home mom with a 4 mo. old, and I'm also pregnant. My older sister works full time and whenever her day care woman is unavailable, she asks me to watch her 4 y/o daughter. She gets here at 6 a.m. to drop her off, and doesn't pick her ...
A. 27 August 2007: Hi there anonymous,
It's not selfish of you to expect payment for babysitting, even if it's for a family member. I just read a really good article - part of it talked about whether or not you should pay a friend/family member for a service,... (read in full...)
Moving to a new town, I find myself in minority! How do I immerse in a society I dislike?
Q. I just moved from NYC to a new town and I am really scared of trying to fit in here. I would love to have friends and have a life the problem is that people here are SO different to what I am used to. Please don't think I am a snob, but the only way ...
A. 27 August 2007: Hi Anonymous,
I know what you're talking about. I'm from Baltimore and was taught to value the same things/ideas. (I think it's an East Coast big-city mentality. At least, that's what I have exeperienced and have also been told.) When I visite... (read in full...)
Some creep called me and talked dirty pretending to be the guy I like!!
Q. im still finding this really upsetting so any help would be great. on tues morn at 8.15am i received a fonecall from a private number, i answered coz i thought it was about a job. when i answered i thought it was someone i knew (in fact i thoug...
A. 17 August 2007: Hi there anonymous,
Regardless of what happened on the train, the dirty phone call you received would have weirded most people out. I know that I would have felt disgusted and angry...mostly because the person you talked with lead you to believe ... (read in full...)
I'm on birth control but there was about two days in a row that I didn't take it. Could I get pregnant on those days I didn't take it?
Q. I'm on birth control but there was about two days in a row that I didn't take it. Could I get pregnant on those days I didn't take it and what is the likelihood that I can get pregnant on the pill. I'm always hearing stories about how women got ...
A. 15 August 2007: Hello Hurley,
Yes - there is an increased chance for you to get pregnant on the days that you missed the pill. Look at the packet of information that came with your pills for more information - it will be the most reliable. If you still have que... (read in full...)
I had sex with my brother and I'm worried about being pregnant.
Q. I had sex with my brother I only started my period a month ago and I know your not even supposed to have produced eggs by this point but I'm worried and I don't want tests or to tell anyone. Please help....
A. 13 August 2007: Hello Rebecca T,
You say that you don't want to tell anyone - but if you do that, then there is no way you can be helped if you are on the way to becoming pregnant. If you want to try and stop a pregnancy, you have to tell at least one person -... (read in full...)
He said that he couldn't go out, but I think he's making up excuses!
Q. Yesterday, i texted my crush (he likes me, too, he told me) that i wanted him to come to a movie with my friends and i. well two hours later (yeah ik!!) he finally texted back what time. So i told him then he said i have football. And i know he ...
A. 7 August 2007: Hi there, He's probably telling you the truth. If he told you that he likes you, then why would he make something up in order to avoid going out with you? If it makes you feel any better, my brother in law goes to rugby practice once a week for ... (read in full...)
God, my parents and me... Who comes first?
Q. I have a conflict in values with my parents who are very religious, whereas i am not. Please advice....
A. 7 August 2007: Hi Anonymous,
I don't know what "values" you have that are different from your parents', but would it be possible not to talk about them? If they bring up a certain lifestyle that you're living, you could change the subject. If they keep har... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: We had over quarter of a million people visit the site over the past month!
Q. Just checking the site stats. We had another milestone... for the first time, in the past 30 days, we had over quarter of a million people visit the site... not 250,000 "hits" or "visits" but actual unique visitors! As counted by Google Anal...
A. 7 August 2007: That's great, Andrew! This site sure has grown since I joined last summer and I can only see it getting bigger and better. ^_^... (read in full...)
Is it too soon to ask her to marry me?
Q. i have been dating my girlfriend for a little more than six months.we both love each other and get along great,and have so much in common.i want to ask her to marry me but is this to soon....
A. 3 August 2007: Hello Anonymous, If you have to ask a bunch of strangers - or anyone else for that matter - whether or not it's too soon to ask your girlfriend to marry you, then it's too soon. If you really, really wanted to do this then my feeling is that ... (read in full...)
I desperately want to help my friend with his relationship but he won't let me.
Q. My friend wont let his gf go on the pill in case she gains weight *she a stick so she need a bit of weight* and they use condoms but only 60% of the time. He's 18 and shes 17 ive tried to explain to him that she wont become fat and if she did he ...
A. 3 August 2007: As I have mentioned several times in previous posts - THE PILL DOES NOT MAKE YOU GAIN WEIGHT!!! Here is what I've written on another post: ----------------- A *huge* misconception about the pill is that it will make you gain weight. This ... (read in full...)
Can girls cover up their real feelings for whatever reason?
Q. If a girl likes you, can she cover up her true feelings for some reason, ie being scared of commitment maybe, or fear of the future?...
A. 2 August 2007: "I dont want to get hurt anymore, I dont want a one-sided relationship, I dont want to be treated like a doormat." GOOD! Then the answer to your question of whether or not she deleted the number should be irrelevant - just be done with this. Don't ... (read in full...)
Can girls cover up their real feelings for whatever reason?
Q. If a girl likes you, can she cover up her true feelings for some reason, ie being scared of commitment maybe, or fear of the future?...
A. 2 August 2007: After reading what you wrote, I think this girl is more trouble than she's worth. She runs hot and cold with you, doesn't communicate, is seeing someone else, stands you up, doesn't work towards creating a good relationship with you, acts immature ... (read in full...)
Can girls cover up their real feelings for whatever reason?
Q. If a girl likes you, can she cover up her true feelings for some reason, ie being scared of commitment maybe, or fear of the future?...
A. 2 August 2007: If you embarassed her and admit that you may have done that, it's kind of understandable why she wouldn't want to thank you for going, right? I mean, two wrongs don't make a right, but I can understand where she is coming from. Have you thought ... (read in full...)
I sent my ex a short email. Do you think I ruined my chances of getting back together?
Q. After a month and a half of initiating no contact with my ex-girlfriend, I dropped her a short email today welcoming her back from a trip and asking her how things went. She had contacted me a few times via instant messenger since the breaku...
A. 2 August 2007: Hello Anonymous,
Will your email hurt your chances of getting back together with your ex? I don't know.
Did she break up with you? Did she tell you that she didn't want to speak with you? Has she contacted you since the email? What did... (read in full...)
Can girls cover up their real feelings for whatever reason?
Q. If a girl likes you, can she cover up her true feelings for some reason, ie being scared of commitment maybe, or fear of the future?...
A. 2 August 2007: Hi Anonymous,
The first thing that I thought of after reading your response is that she just came out of a relationship and is just really confused about who and what she wants at this point in her life. Unless you want to go crazy wonderin... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever heard of a child getting kawasaki disease /mucocuteous lymph node syndrome twice?
Q. has anyone ever heard of a child getting kawasaki disease /mucocuteous lymph node syndrome twice ...
A. 2 August 2007: Hello Anonymous,
I'm not going to pretend to know what that is (guess I could google it, but it still wouldn't make me an expert), but if you have reason to believe this diagnosis is not right, then get a second opinion from another doctor (... (read in full...)
I signed up for a dating site and flirted with women, pretending to be one myself; was I cheating?
Q. So i screwed up big with my girlfriend. Everything has been great with us and i've never been happy. This girl is amazing on so many levels and couldnt ever think of a better woman. But a couple months ago I was bored on the computer and ended up ...
A. 2 August 2007: Hi Anonymous,
I guess I would consider this to be cheating if you engaged in cybersex - but honestly it's just more of being an assh*le to your girlfriend (and those other girls). (BTW - I'm NOT saying that you are an assh*le, I'm saying that's h... (read in full...)
Can you get pregnant from toilet paper with sperm on it?
Q. can a 17 year old girl get pregnant if there is sperm on toilet paper?...
A. 2 August 2007: Hi Anonymous,
If you use the toilet paper, then there is a chance you could get pregnant depending on how and where you've wiped. And it also depends on how long the sperm has been on the toilet paper. It's probably not likely that you'd ge... (read in full...)
Is it that bad to be smaller than my friends?
Q. I am 14 and 5ft 2 i get teased regularily about my height as all my friends are 5ft 6 etc. Is it that bad to be small?? P.s. Yet my guy friends don't seem to care. X Thanks, Please help me!!...
A. 2 August 2007: Hi Anonymous,
Perhaps your friends are envious? I'm 5'8½" and I hate being this tall. I always wished that I was shorter. I feel like a barbarian in heels. lol Maybe your friends are jealous and don't know how to act? That's the first th... (read in full...)
How would I tell my mum if I accidentally got pregnant?
Q. Ok well here goes.. Im 14 nd ma bf is 15 nd we are havin sex. Im completly comfortable wit it. Ive discussed wat would happen if i got pregnant nd he said he would stay wit me nd help look afta da baby. But im still worried. If he does get me ...
A. 1 August 2007: Hi there Lil Kitty,
To answer your question about what you would tell your mother if you became pregnant... I'm going to recommend a website. It's what I recommend to everyone that I see has this sort of situation come up in their lives. ... (read in full...)
Hypnotism and sex combined has become a real fantasy for me!
Q. Hello. I've just turned 18, and I have recently discovered hypnotism. Well, actually, I was aware of it before, but I've just started looking at it in a new light. It has just come to mind that hypnotism and Sex combined is quite a turn on for ...
A. 19 July 2007: lol ^_^ I understand you now! Well, I'll just tell you my experience --
I used to be totally introverted and didn't want to talk to anyone at all or go anywhere. Once I attended hypnotherapy sessions, I got passed that way of thinking. When I ... (read in full...)
He said he wants to meet me, but then he said he might be too busy! Is this a brush off?
Q. I met a guy a week ago and kissed him, we have txt each other and he says he wants to meet me but when i asked him if he was ok for a drink tonight he says he might be busy. He's sent me messages saying i am beautiful and very sexy but should i take ...
A. 19 July 2007: Hey there,
Well, in my opinion it would have been different if he said that he was *definitly* busy. But "he might be busy" means that if nothing better comes along then he will just settle for you. But that's just my opinion - if I'm totally ... (read in full...)
Hypnotism and sex combined has become a real fantasy for me!
Q. Hello. I've just turned 18, and I have recently discovered hypnotism. Well, actually, I was aware of it before, but I've just started looking at it in a new light. It has just come to mind that hypnotism and Sex combined is quite a turn on for ...
A. 19 July 2007: Sorry - but I don't understand what you mean here: "I don't know where you draw the line between; being completely aware of what's happening and just pretending you're hypnotized." You mean if you were to pretend with someone? Because if you're ... (read in full...)
Hypnotism and sex combined has become a real fantasy for me!
Q. Hello. I've just turned 18, and I have recently discovered hypnotism. Well, actually, I was aware of it before, but I've just started looking at it in a new light. It has just come to mind that hypnotism and Sex combined is quite a turn on for ...
A. 19 July 2007: But anonymous, you don't "just go along with it" at any point. You will never do what you don't feel comfortable doing. But if you *want* to have certain qualities, then you will work to achieve that goal. But you will only allow yourself to keep ... (read in full...)
Hypnotism and sex combined has become a real fantasy for me!
Q. Hello. I've just turned 18, and I have recently discovered hypnotism. Well, actually, I was aware of it before, but I've just started looking at it in a new light. It has just come to mind that hypnotism and Sex combined is quite a turn on for ...
A. 19 July 2007: Hello Anonymous,
I don't think you fully grasp what hypnotism is all about. It seems like you've only read about/seen the entertainment side of it (which isn't real). I suggest actually researching it.
I think you're just into dominating ... (read in full...)
My husband likes to go out to listen to live music, but I dont. How can we comprimise?
Q. My husband loves to go out late at night to listen to live music, while I don't like the scene at all because it's loud and crowded. I need to go out more with him because he very much wants me there. How can I make it more bearable?...
A. 18 July 2007: Hi there Deb,
Oh, man - I know what you mean. I actually used to love going to shows with my husband, but now I can't stand it. The people are usually loud and obnoxious, there's cigarette smoke everywhere, the music is too loud and usually ... (read in full...)
How can I sleep with my boyfriend who has HIV, but not get it myself?
Q. How do you catch HIV/AIDS? I kissed my boyfriend (who's just been dignosed with HIV) a couple of days back. Have i got the STD? Please reply, i'm really worried. Also i'm thinking of having sex with him. What would be the best contraception to use ...
A. 18 July 2007: Hi there Anonymous,
The best contraception I can think of to use so you don't catch HIV / AIDS (or any std's) is condoms. But check with your doctor, like many of the other aunts recommended. S/he would be able to tell you better than most any... (read in full...)
I wrote a song for this girl I really like even though she's dating someone else. Should I sing it to her in public or in private?
Q. I wrote a song for this girl I really like even though she's dating someone else. Should I sing it to her in public or in private at any of the parties this year?...
A. 18 July 2007: Hi Anonymous,
Unless you want to confuse her and piss off her boyfriend, I would not plan on singing this to her at any point - whether it be at a party or to her in private. If she's involved with someone already, you shouldn't be trying t... (read in full...)
Could I have caught HIV from biting my tongue in a restraunt???
Q. Today I went and ate at a buffet restraunt with my family and friends. While I was eatting I bit my tougue by mistake and blood was coming out. It looks a bit puffy now. Since I bit my tougue, could I be expose to any diseases since this took place ...
A. 18 July 2007: Hi there Anonymous,
We seem to have gotten a number of questions from you about contracting HIV and other stds from contact with various items ranging from lotions to utensils. I think you're worrying too much about this.
And why in the world... (read in full...)
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