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*illy223 agony aunt

*illy223

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*illy223's profile:

Having a hard time coming up with anything exciting for this... life is boring (and I like it that way, Thank You.)

Single Mom of two boys, been married, and then not married. :)So yes, I do have some experience in the relationship department. A student of hard knocks and university. Love observing people and figuring out what makes them tick. Have been told I have an uncanny ability to weed out the problem and get right to the core of the issue at hand. I've been accused on being the person to come to when you need a "kick in the @ss" and some brutally honest advice. Those are my qualifications; what more do you need to know?

12345Next > [5 pages, 174 answers]

Scared to date because my penis is too small-what can I do?

Q.   This is mainly aimed at the ladies. I'm 2 scared 2 get with girls b/c of the size of my penis. I know 2 some girls size dont matter but surely when its 3inches normal and only 5 when erected its an issue....

A.   30 January 2007: Coming from an old broad who has seen more than one penis, I can tell you... what you have is certainly within the range of average/normal, so you REALLY have nothing to worry about. If your friends are all saying they've got 9 inchers, they are ... (read in full...)

My friend found condoms in her Dad's car. Should she tell her Mother? How should I advise her?

Q.   hi every1, i was just wonder, my friend came for me for help i did know what to say!!she saw condoms in her father's car as they were pulled up by a police! she and her mother had already discussed that her father might have been cheating since he ...

A.   29 January 2007: Frankly I think that if the mother already found condoms in her husbands coat pocket then that is sufficient to cause enough suspicion without their daughter bringing to light the car condoms. Have your friend say nothing to either parent... the ... (read in full...)

I'm interested in a man at my son's school. Should I approach him? If so, how?

Q.   There is a man at my son's school who I have become very attracted to (yes I am a single mum). I know this guy is single unfortunately due to losing his wife to cancer. I would like to pluck up the courage to speak to him and get to know him but ...

A.   24 January 2007: This is a perfect opportunity to strike up a conversation with him! "I noticed you are parking down here now. It really makes it convenient to get out of here in all the confusion!" You can't know him if you don't speak to him. This is how ... (read in full...)

My ex wants to keep having sex with me but he wants to continue living with another woman! Help me out here?

Q.   I was in a relationship for 7 yrs, but have since seperated. He left me for my friend and neighbour. Its been 5 months now that "tom" has been living with my old neighbour "carry". Tom came over on the weekend to pick up our 2 kids for his visite ...

A.   22 January 2007: No, you weren't wrong by telling his mother. She needs to be aware that he is using her too, just as he is/was using you. If she doesn't want to hear it, at least you told her, if she did want to hear it then she can take steps not to enable him ... (read in full...)

My bf gave me a black eye! He says he'll change. I don't know what to do.

Q.   Hello,im 21 and i have been in a relationship with an amazing guy for 4 months. We planned to get engaged this year and i really know i love this man. But just over a week ago we had a row, to which he hit me in the face and i still have (a week ...

A.   16 January 2007: Racy, I want you to read this very closely. As a formerly abused spouse and girlfriend I believe that I can tell you alot. Men do NOT hit women they love, no matter HOW angry they are at them. And NO MATTER what you did, IT WAS NOT YOUR FAU... (read in full...)

My girlfriend says I mean as much to her as her friends. I thought I meant more than that. Am I wrong for feeling hurt?

Q.   Hi , my girlfriend says that i mean as much to her as her mates do and that we are equal but i know that i could put her before any of my mates or family. Is it selfish of me to feel hurt? should i rethink my views on friendships. I remember someone ...

A.   16 January 2007: At your age, your mates should mean as much as your bf/gf does. That means you have your relationship in good alignment and in a place it needs to be... it is healthy to have friendsihips outside of a relationship! It sounds to me that you are ... (read in full...)

Thought she and I were doing well until she said "another guy" spent the weekend with her! Any advice?

Q.   known some lass for about 4 months now get on like a house on fire always great laughs and jokes etc always something to say never ever does the convo dry up and fallin for each othere , well till the bombshell hit me tonight not seen her about f...

A.   16 January 2007: No, don't write her off. This sounds innocent to me... it sounds like he just popped by, stayed the weekend and left. If she were being dishonest she probably would have made some really sad excuses, and not even replied to your IM. And she ... (read in full...)

How do you figure out if a shy guy is more than a friend to you?

Q.   I know that shy guys are the toughest to figure out, but does anyone have any idea to figure out whether or not a shy guy likes you as a just a friend or more than just a friend? ...

A.   16 January 2007: I love shy guys, always have, always will. Your right, sometimes they are hard to figure out. The first thing you need to do is observe him.... watch his behavior around his friends... does he talk comfortably, joke round, act relaxed? Then you ... (read in full...)

My ex wants to keep having sex with me but he wants to continue living with another woman! Help me out here?

Q.   I was in a relationship for 7 yrs, but have since seperated. He left me for my friend and neighbour. Its been 5 months now that "tom" has been living with my old neighbour "carry". Tom came over on the weekend to pick up our 2 kids for his visite ...

A.   16 January 2007: Why would you allow yourself to be a doormat for this guy? You are aware that this is wht he is asking of you don't you? He leaves you for another woman, wants to continue to live there, tells you it will never work, but I still want you to care ... (read in full...)

Had sex with my best buddy's ex-gf and now...she's pregnant! What should I do?

Q.   I'm in a bind. I recently had sex with my best friends ex-girlfriend and she is now pregnent. We aren't in a relationship and live across the country from each other. I want her to have an abortion and she doesn't. What can I do to convince her ...

A.   16 January 2007: You are in a bind aren't you? I'm not going to clobber you for sleeping with your best friends ex... you have probably bashed your had against the wall on that one already. I'm not even gonna say anything about you should know enough to use a ... (read in full...)

My family's disapproval of my guy upsets me - how can I get them to see he's really a great person?

Q.   me and my boyfriend have always been on and off for the last year but something always keeps attracting us back together. when we fight its always about little stuff and is normally me who throws in the towel. this time tho we've decided to really ...

A.   16 January 2007: Honestly I think it is YOU that have convinced your family that he isn't a great person, as I am sure you have complained to them everytime he has made you angry enough to break things off with him. I am also quite certain that your family will ... (read in full...)

She has a bf but send me dirty text messages! What should I do?

Q.   She has a boyfriend but wants me aswell wat do i do I posted a question a while back explaining that i like this girl but she has a boyfriend and the advice you all gave me was brilliant but recently she has been sending me dirty messages ( some fro...

A.   16 January 2007: I have to agree with Irish on this one. This girl sounds like one you DO want to loose. If you think for a moment that entering in a relationship with you is going to change this dishonet behavior, you are beig dishonest to yourself. Why would ... (read in full...)

He hates that I put my kids first and he wants me to move away with him! What are your thoughts on this?

Q.   I am a mother of 2 children and have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years. He doesn't like to come to my house and feels I put my kids first although I do all I can to make him happy including staying at his house. He wants me to sell my house and ...

A.   16 January 2007: I sure hope that this guy is not expecting you to give up your children to be with him. If he doesn't understand that a mother puts her children ahead of her romance the majority of the time, he is not the peron to be dating if you have children. ... (read in full...)

Having 2nd thoughts about this whole online dating thing...any advice?

Q.   started online dating to see what was out there, decided on two men I liked the profiles, have spoken to both on phone,(they only have my mobile number), they seem ok, one chap I am meeting locally (but not too near)in a pub for lunch, the other ...

A.   16 January 2007: I think you are feeling anxious because you haven't met in person. Honestly, I've done the online dating thing, and I have never had a negative experience. No, not all of the guys I met were wonderful OR the one for me, but I never had a bad ... (read in full...)

This guy runs hot and cold on me. Am I wasting my time?

Q.   I am so confused... I was text messaging a guy for six months then we met. We hung out on and off but he would disappear for weeks on end with barely a text, then say he had been busy or asked ME why I hadn't been in touch. He mentioned not being ...

A.   16 January 2007: yeah, your wasting your time. This guy sounds like an airhead, and I am not sure what the attraction is. It sounds like if you get involved with him (if he will even allow it) that you will simply get jerked around even more. Sorry to be so ... (read in full...)

I want our relationship to work, but there are issues with her son and his father. How do I accept the situation and cope?

Q.   I am 23 and my girlfriend is 21. We have been together 7 months and we love each other very much. She has a two year old son. I knew this from the beginning and we get on well. We both like spending time with each other even though he can be...

A.   16 January 2007: It is nice to hear of a man that is willing to be a man and raise anothers child as if he were his own. This is what you should do, and continue to do. The time, effort, love, and financial contributions you are making make you MORE of a father ... (read in full...)

She's my ideal woman, except she's newly married!

Q.   In short: met her year ago at work, (she was new employee).She was about my age,smart,charming,elegant,beautiful,everything which I ever dreamed of.And married.And childless (not hopeless,though,she was married freshly and told me that "somethi...

A.   15 January 2007: It sounds as if you are genuiely love struck and most women would kill to have a man feel this way about her. unfortunatly, she is married. I would recommend NOT acting on your feelings until (when and if) she decides that her relationship with ... (read in full...)

I don't want our baby to get attached when the father has to go back to his home country!

Q.   hi i'm 21 and have just had a baby. the father is 31 and from a different country. after having the baby i got very ill and my partner wasn't there for me and said some nasty things so i finished things with him. now i'm in a dilema as to if i ...

A.   15 January 2007: I understand the position you are in. You want to protect your child from being hurt.... but this guy IS your baby's father... so he does have a right to see the child... AS LONG as it is an emotionally and physically healthy relationship. Just ... (read in full...)

Is the terrible relationship w/ my parents worth salvaging?

Q.   My parents and I have a terrible relationship. They always criticize me for everything - be it what I'm wearing, how the furniture in my house is arranged, learning foreign languages, traveling, ANYTHING. They also dislike my husband and even make ...

A.   15 January 2007: Okay, they have met your requirements and apologized in order for you to meet them on Saturday to "fix things." i would go Saturday, with your guard up, listen to what they say, and consider it. Go in to this with the expectation that you will ... (read in full...)

He tells me to grow out my hair and compares me to others. Now he's picky about what I eat! Is this headed into an abusive relationship?

Q.   My now fiance always tells me that I should grow my hair long (like how I used to have it). He'll even point out different girls and say things like "You should grow it that long." It made me mad so finally I said something, and he ignored me for ...

A.   15 January 2007: Well this is how an abusive relationship starts. He is asking you to change things that you are entitled to determine all on your own... your appearance, and your eating habits. What will it be next? How you spend money you earn, where you go, who ... (read in full...)

My best friend said he's in love with me and it's a dream come true! He hasn't made much contact recently - what should I do?

Q.   my best friend (male) admitted to haven falling in love with me and it's a dream come true! The thing is before when we were just friends i would always be the one keeping us in touch but now things have changed and i want to play hard to get. It ...

A.   15 January 2007: What is it about when you enter in to a relationship, people feel that it is THEN that you start to play games?! Why would you want to play hard to get? Especially now that he has told you how he feels and you are thrilled with the new ... (read in full...)

I thought he was my soul mate but he doesn't see me enough!

Q.   I "thought" I met my soulmate 4 months ago. I am 41 and he's 34 and we both are college graduates and in the education field. He asked me to marry him after he lands a promotion as a principal. The problem is although he calls me several times a ...

A.   15 January 2007: I'm not sure that there is really anyway for you to 'get back at him" without looking like a scorned ex-girlfriend. As much as it hurts, you only invested 4 months in this relationship, a small amount of time in the big picture. No, I am not ... (read in full...)

He's a virgin and loses his erection when we try to have sex. What can be done?

Q.   i am trying to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he is a virgin and whenever we try to have sex he loses his erection, and it will not come back, he is nervous and scared that it will keep happening and he will not be able to become ...

A.   15 January 2007: Slow down, take your time, explore each other, and take the attitude if it happens tonight, it will happen, if it doesn't we can always do this again. When he is relaxed enough, comfortable with what is going on, and ready, it will happen. Right ... (read in full...)

Found texts and naked pics... is my boyfriend a gay?

Q.   Hi all I have been going out with my boyfriend for over two years. Over a year ago I read some texts he had sent to another male, he said he missed him and had got him a present.He also asked him if he wanted to meet. When I questioned him about th...

A.   15 January 2007: Frankly, I'd be less worried about him being pissed cause you went thru his phone and more worried about where he has been putting his Johnson. I'd demand some truthful explination, and if you don't get an acceptable (and believable!!! response... (read in full...)

My boyfriend just can't orgasm with me... and it's getting me down!

Q.   need help! ive been seeing my boyfriend for 3mths and before i met him he,d only had sex once and that didnt go well. my prob is that no matter what i do i just cant make him come. he can come when he masturbates......im at my wits end.he says w...

A.   15 January 2007: How about a female point of view? This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with your boyfriend. If he can come during masturbation , he can come during sex. The problem is, he is used to the firmer pressure that masturbation offers, ... (read in full...)

Pur relationship is perfect except for one big flaw---he's married! What should I do?

Q.   I have been 7 years with my boyfriend who is married but till today when I broach the subject of divorcing and marrying me, he still says he cannot now unless he is prepared his father's depression worsens plus he has parkinsons. Our relationship is ...

A.   15 January 2007: This is going to be a brutal answer... but I seriously think that hearing this will help you. If your boyfriend, being the compassionate and sensitive man he is... is taking in to consideration that his ill father will become more depresse... (read in full...)

My guy says "nobody knows what the future holds." I'm tired of him saying this - it's been 4 years!

Q.   Why do men or more specifically why is my man incapable of thinking about the future? After 4 years i'm getting tired. We love eachother a lot and are good friends, but when I ask him about the future, he says "nobody knows what the future holds." ...

A.   15 January 2007: He is incapable of thinking about the future because he doesn't WANT to. "Nobody knows what the futue holds" is code for "I don't want to make a commitment" in guy speak. After four years you would think he would have an idea huh? You can't make ... (read in full...)

My ex wants me back, but has lied to me in the past. How do I know he's really changed?

Q.   my boyfriend has lied in the past and im constantly worried he is doing something behind my back, he has lied about the littlest of things and we split up for 2 weeks and he started another relationship and slept with some other girl he says he ...

A.   15 January 2007: I seriously doubt that he has changed in two short weeks. It sonds to me like he broke up to you so he could "cheat" and not have a guilty conscious. I'd tell this guy to take a hike... you are headed for more confusion and hurt if you remain in ... (read in full...)

I like both of them and don't know what to do! Help

Q.   Dear Cupid, I have a problem. This is a whole long story and I hope I get some rational advice. You see, i was with this gal "J" for over a time frame of 9 months, then one fine day, I cought her cheeting on me when I went to by her a dress as a...

A.   15 January 2007: This sounds like a very complicated situation, but has a very easy answer in my opinion. J announced to you that she wanted to end the relationship when she lied to you about where she was at the mall. She now thinks you are a hero because you ... (read in full...)

I have this urge to send my ex bf a nasty e-mail! Why do I want to hurt him?

Q.   Hi All, Recently, I just got out of a relationship, but I seem to think of my ex 24/7. The problem is that I do not have any loving thoughts of my ex. The breakup was disasterous, as the both of us threw insults at each other and he asked me not ...

A.   15 January 2007: An urge to send an ex a nasty email is normal, because you want to hurt him as much as he hurt you, but I'd recommend you not act on it. When my ex- husband and I broke up I had thoughts of driving 500 miles and slashing the tires on his precious ... (read in full...)

Can he be separated from his wife and engaged to another girl, at the same time?

Q.   Not sure this is the correct forum for this question – however! I’m a line manager to a chap who has recently separated from his wife. After just 2 months, of separation, it was announced over the weekend that he is now engaged to girl. Can this ...

A.   15 January 2007: Sure he can. He just can't get married again until the divorce is final. Engagement is not a legally recognized or binding union, it is a personal commitment between two parties.... "I promise I'm going to marry you someday, you promise you are ... (read in full...)

Why does my ex gets mad because I'm trying to have sex with other girls! Any thoughts?

Q.   My Ex Girlfriend is getting mad the fact is i'm trying to screw other girls besides her but i know for a fact she screwing other guys My Ex Girlfriend and myself have been apart a 5 week's this week. in that 5 week's she slept with 4-5 guys ma...

A.   15 January 2007: Frankly, this is why the FWB thing doesn't work out, especially if both parties were involved in a relationship with each other prior to this new arrangement. My suggestion, admit that sometimes you can't have everything that you want, stop ... (read in full...)

If your partner was cheating...would you want to know?

Q.   if your partner was cheating would you want to know?...

A.   15 January 2007: Yes, if my partner were cheating I would want to know, and if I were cheating on my partner I would have to tell them... I wouldn't be cheating (no, I never have) if the relationship were going well. Why would I want to know? Well, as much as ... (read in full...)

What does it mean when a girl gets 'butterflys' over you?

Q.   what does it mean when a girl gets butterflys over you?...

A.   15 January 2007: It's a funny, fluttery feeling in your stomach, and it means she really likes you. Simple as that.... (read in full...)

I'm 17 and getting irregular periods...

Q.   Ok, well i got my first period probably when i was 13, i'm now 17 and i don't think i've ever really had a regular period. I've had months between my periods, sometimes less than a month between them, i've also had heavy periods and ones that go for ...

A.   15 January 2007: While I wouldn't believe that there is anything seriously wrong with you, I do believe it is time that you spoke to your Doctor about this. Five years is long enough for your body to regulate itself a little better than it has. He/she may put you ... (read in full...)

LUST SUCKS especially for a teacher

Q.   i really need help on this. im sooooo sexually attracted to this new teacher in our school. hes in his 30s and im 18. im not gonna say im in love because i really just think its a sexual attraction. i get sooo worked up when i see him in the halls i ...

A.   15 January 2007: Stop this behavior right now. Have you considered how uncomfortable you may be making him feel by acting this way? He may be trying to talk to you to get across to you that he is a teacher not someone to throw yourself at. He's trying to do his ... (read in full...)

I want to go back to my old job, but unsure of BF's reaction

Q.   I had a great job and I started liking a coworker ...a lot. My relationship was almost destoryed because of my behavior. I quit my job, not really because I wanted to, but because it would help get my relationship back in order and relieve my BF of ...

A.   15 January 2007: I would say that you should talk to your bf about this. Explain to him that the old guy isn't there any more, they are hiring again, and that you would like to reapply. See what he thinks. But, if he doesn't feel comfortabe, don't do it. I think ... (read in full...)

The prescription is making me sex crazy and my BF isn't hot for the idea

Q.   I have had a few health problems and it was discovered I had low testosterone levels, so I was prescribed a testosterone cream (for health reasons, not sexual reasons). Before this my sex drive was absolutely fine - but now it is bordering on ...

A.   15 January 2007: I'd seriously talk to your Dr. about possibly changing the kind or dose of your meds. Especially if it is making you feel so out of control like this. In the meantime, I'd take up some self gratification measures just to take the edge off, or ... (read in full...)

I want to jump on him and rip all his clothes off. Is this normal?

Q.   Ok I have a boyfriend and I love him very much. We have been together for over a year and we could not be happier. Where I work there is this guy. He just makes me feel up with butterflys when I see him, almost like I want to jump on him and rip ...

A.   15 January 2007: Well.... as long as you don't literally jump on this guy and rip all his clothes off, then yes, I would say it is normal. It's called sexual attraction. I'd advise you to not act on this attraction if you want to maintain that happy relationship ... (read in full...)

I like him but my friends think he is gay

Q.   So I am new to a school and I like this boy. I think he likes me too becuase my friend thinks so and so do I. The problem is 2 of my friends think he is gay, and I think they all think the same thing. On the friday before the weekend one of my ...

A.   15 January 2007: How about approaching him as simply a friend? A lot of great relationships start out as friendships, a lot of bad relationships start out as bf/gf and go down hill immediately. If you approach him as a friend, start hanging out and doing stuff ... (read in full...)

I'm interested in a man at my son's school. Should I approach him? If so, how?

Q.   There is a man at my son's school who I have become very attracted to (yes I am a single mum). I know this guy is single unfortunately due to losing his wife to cancer. I would like to pluck up the courage to speak to him and get to know him but ...

A.   9 January 2007: My suggestion... say "Hey, how 'bout coming over to my house for dinner next wednesday, I'm sure that it would be nice to eat a dinner cooked by someone else, and I'd enjoy the company. Please bring your daughter with you. I'd love to have you."... (read in full...)

I thought he was my soul mate but he doesn't see me enough!

Q.   I "thought" I met my soulmate 4 months ago. I am 41 and he's 34 and we both are college graduates and in the education field. He asked me to marry him after he lands a promotion as a principal. The problem is although he calls me several times a ...

A.   2 January 2007: This guy has the classic "I'm so in to me, I can't think about you" thought process it isn't even funny. First, I think it is great that you suggested that you go your separate ways... You've got him thinking now. Now you need to follow that up ... (read in full...)

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