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*ikita agony aunt

*ikita

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Hi, I'm Nikita. I'm 41 and I have three children, two teenagers and one eleven year old. I also have five cats; Misty, Monty, Binks, Shreddie and Fluffy. I don't have any professional qualifications to be an agony aunt but what I do have is experience of life and relationships and common sense and my friends all tell me that I give good advice and I'll try my best to do the same on this site no matter what the problem is. I've had my fair share of them over the years and I know what it feels like to be alone, afraid and low. I also know how it feels to be content and happy so I know there's always light in the darkness. What makes me tick is writing. I've had several short stories published and Im in the process of writing a novel. I also like reading, red wine, chocolate chip cookies, dancing, walking and being by the sea. I'm currently in a relationship and have been for three years.

1234Next > [4 pages, 138 answers]

What was the wet... and could I have gotten pregnant through his boxers and my panties?

Q.   ok i hope this questions isn't dumb, but i'm genuinly confused..... the other night i was at my boyfriends house and i had my legs wrapped around his waist and i was kissing his neck and everything (it's his "special spot") anyway i noticed he start...

A.   3 February 2007: Its very unlikely that you're pregnant and it does sound as if he ejaculated, yes. If you're concerned about your period and its late then take a test but I would say that you dont have to worry about that. If you do move onto the next stage as ... (read in full...)

Im 14 and 9 Weeks pregnant!!! I want to keep it but dont know how!!!

Q.   I'm 14 years old and am 9 weeks pregnant. I saw an ultrasound of the baby recently and heard it heart beat. I was wanting to keep the baby but dont know how to do it at my age. If anyone can help me with this it would be appreciated. ...

A.   29 January 2007: Hi there, You are making a very big decision for one so young so first of all you need to search out some advice okay to help you decide if this is really what you want to do. having a baby is a huge commitement and will change your life completely. ... (read in full...)

Is it legal to sleep with your first cousin?

Q.   is it legal to sleep with your first cousin,...

A.   29 January 2007: Well, here in the Uk, its legal so yes but its really a question of how you and others feel about this. Im not sure that having any children with your frist cousin would be agood idea but as the others have said, it is a moral issue and soemthing ... (read in full...)

I want to date her and she's thinking about it...but it's been a month! What's going on here?

Q.   I've fallen in love with this wonderful girl and have let her know how i feel, and have asked her out, she said she needed time to think about things, obviously i argeed but that was a month ago and im starting to wonder what i should do?...

A.   29 January 2007: If its been a month then it seems to me that she's already made her decision but just hasnt told you! Maybe she's nervous and unsure of what she wants but if you want a definite answer then ask her again. Just say, have you made you mind up yet?. If ... (read in full...)

His gf accused me of messing with him, when all I did was try to tell him to stop texting me! What should I do?

Q.   Boy I had dated and behaved like a pig started to communicate back with me on a friendship basis. I notice he has been lying to me for 1 year and sent him message back so he replies telling me he couldn't talk as gf in the house, I get upset and do ...

A.   29 January 2007: Well, if he phones or texts again, just ignore him. Dont reply or even read his messages okay. Delete them. he'll get the message soon enough. To be honest, if he was such a pig, im not sure why you were communicating with him again as friends at ... (read in full...)

How do you orgasm when masturbating?

Q.   dear cupid. i want to know how to orgasm while masterbating. how do i do this?...

A.   29 January 2007: Okay, well, the first thing is to make sure you're relaxed and comfortable and the doors are locked! You can use either you fingers or a vibrator or both! The best way to do it is to stimulate the clitoris with your fingers or the vibe. You can use ... (read in full...)

When is it okay to give a guy, a call?

Q.   When is it okay to call a guy?...

A.   29 January 2007: There's really no set time limits as to when you can call a guy. If he's someone you've met recently then bite the bullet and call him! I would suggest early evening after he arrives home from work. Good luck!x... (read in full...)

How do I 'finger' my gf without hurting her? Any tips?

Q.   Hi my I was wodering how is the best way to finger girl freind becuse last time i seemed to hurt her and she started lieing saying it was fine but i no it isnt so Please help me !!!...

A.   28 January 2007: Okay, well, I think it probably hurt last time because she wasnt ready and maybe didnt have enough lubrication. Make sure she's relaxed and be gentle, no rough movememnts. You're not poking a piece of clay. Take it slow and ask her if its okay and ... (read in full...)

I fancied him then fancied his flatmate and then fancied him again and now fancy his flatmate, yet once again! what can I do?

Q.   I dated this guy for 2 weeks and then finished with him as i really fancied his flatmate. I started dating his flatmate and we had a really great time and great sex for three weeks. I still see my ex at least three times a week at uni and it bought ...

A.   28 January 2007: I must adsmit, when I first saw this question, I thought it had been posted by a fifteen yeaer old. I think you must realise that you cant continue to behave like this. its not so much about the sex. If you want to have sex with two guys thats ... (read in full...)

He fingered me..can I get pregnant?

Q.   Dear ANYBODY, I'm really freaked out i am in the prosses fo moving and me and my boyfriend of 8 months new we both wanted to have sex with each other before i left to a city hours away. The whole sex thing was a safe as can be (painful 2) condom i...

A.   28 January 2007: I would say that its highly unlikely that you're pregnant. Sperm can only live for a few hours outside in the air and if you cleaned his fingers off then I would imagine there's no problem. You'd have to awfully unlucky to get pregnant this way. If, ... (read in full...)

After we had sex--I found out he injects heroin! Can I get HIV from him?

Q.   hi ppl.this is a really serious question. I have just split with my boyfriend and yesterday i found out that while i was with him he was on heroine, and in fact has been injecting for 12 months. I had no idea about this!!anyway i had sex with him, ...

A.   28 January 2007: Ive just looked at some websites about HIV and they are very informative. I would suggest that you look at the ones that Dragonette gave you and there are loads more as well. Its great that you're getting a test and they will help to put your mind ... (read in full...)

Nine minths of marriage and I am shocked. He wants a divorce! Help me understand?

Q.   I have been married for 9 months. I knew this guy for 5 years (we were dating for 5 years). We were engaged once after 6 months of dating. When I approached him with date of wedding he said that he was not ready. We broke up, but started to date ...

A.   28 January 2007: I do feel for you. You wanted everything to be just right. You had a vision of how a marriage should be and he's turned it sour and ugly for you. It has been an on/off relationship for you and you've kept clinging on and hoping that it would work ... (read in full...)

Thanks for the advice..it worked out for me and my bf!

Q.   Hello everyone...me again!!! wrote a few months ago asking for help when my boyfriend dumped me after 2 years because he wasnt ready. well i took the advice i was given and gave him some time. AND....yesterday he asked me if we could give it another ...

A.   28 January 2007: Of course its up to you. Im really glad that the advice worked and that you're back together. Just one thing, dont go too fast and take it slowly and have fun, okay thats three things! You know what I mean. I really hope it works out for you. Good ... (read in full...)

During sex he got too rough and wouldn't stop! I love him but this has me hurt and confused..what should I do?

Q.   well last night i went to the pub, with my boyfriend and our 2 mates. we were all having a good laugh and drinking. and me and paul* were pretty horny, so when we got home we had sex. bout an hour after we did it again. and for some reason it kinda ...

A.   28 January 2007: There's no excuse for roughness during sex unless its mutual. Drink or no drink, he hurt you and he wouldnt stop and this is something that I think he gets off on. he should have stopped when you told him to but he didnt and I think you have to ... (read in full...)

Sometimes, I feel nothing when I kiss my bofriend. What could be missing?

Q.   I love my boyfriend very much; he’s so caring, loving and sweet. I really don’t know what else more I can ask for. However, some times when I kiss him I not sure that I feel any thing why is that? What could be missing? ...

A.   28 January 2007:  You dont say how long you've been together but if its a while then the initial first time excitement does tend to wear off and you dont always feel that 'wow' factor anymore. Bear in mind though that it doesnt always have to be fireworks when you ... (read in full...)

Why do I keep getting these mean thoughts?

Q.   When i first met this guy i like. I noticed something about him and i guess the first thing in my mind i thought "man boobs" even though they arn't even that big and i still like him but i keep obsessing over it just because i thought since i ...

A.   28 January 2007: okay, well you dont say whether or not you're having any treatment for your OCD but if you're not then you really need to see someone about it. Thats the first thing you should do. There are also a ton of websites around that can help. here's a ... (read in full...)

Hubby is a good provider but lacks in the 'lovin'' departmenr. What can I do?

Q.   You see, my husband has a type A personality and generally lives and breaths new ways to make money. Sex is my call 99% of the time and when we do get into it in the bedroom he always throws off this (yeah come n get it) vibe, which is the reason ...

A.   27 January 2007: Well, there's plenty of books that I can suggest. here are a few that may help. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, by John Gray. Cultivating Female sexual Energy, by Mantax Chia. The sex starved Marraige, by Michele Warner. Are yo... (read in full...)

Stopped using the pill, periods are late but pregnancy are negative! Any advice?

Q.   I stopped using the contraceptive pill (microgynon 30) about 4 months ago. My periods have been a couple of days late every month since i stopped using it, this month its still not here and its more than a week late! I've done a pregnancy test and ...

A.   27 January 2007: I dont think that there's a lot wrong. I think its just that your body is readjusting to you stopping the pill thats all. It can take a while for the hormones to leave your system and for your periods to settle into a routine. If it continues then ... (read in full...)

He's perfect but I have unwanted thoughts about him. How do I get rid of this?

Q.   I really like this guy. He is PERFECT and one of the nice guys which is what i need too. I feel like my anxiety is way up there right now since we are getting closer to dating. I guestion myself if i really like him or not even though i do. I feel ...

A.   27 January 2007: well I cant tell if you have OCD or not but if you're ver obssessive about things, ie, washing your hands a lot, touching things all the time, (my brother does this all the time and has a mild version of it), doing things in a repetitve way, ... (read in full...)

I'm so in love with my boyfriend. The only thing I want is a baby with him...Why?

Q.   I love babies...Oh my Gosh, do I LOVE babies! I want one so bad, but I know I'm way too young to have one. I don't have a job, but my boyfriend does. It's not a very well-paying job, though. For this reason, I know having a baby wouldn't be the ...

A.   27 January 2007: Well, babies are cute and sweet thats true but the reality is different let me tell you. I had my first child when I was nineteen and it was a real shock to the system. I didnt sleep for two months, went partially deaf cos of the crying, had bags ... (read in full...)

My partner is constantly on sex chat websites! It tears me up inside. But am I wrong to feel this way?

Q.   I practically Live with my partner been together about 4 months. He's constantly on these sex chat websites sending pictures and msgs to other people. Its tearing me up inside. He says he loves me and i believe him but this is tearing me up inside ...

A.   25 January 2007: I hope you can sort this out and make him see how much he's hurting you. good luck x... (read in full...)

How do I get over this big obsession about his ex! What should I do?

Q.   I have been seeing a guy over 3 yrs, and he left his ex and kids,but now his son is having problems in behavior and might have to stay there. How do i get over not getting upset with him ex there causei really don't like her. I know he loves me. ...

A.   25 January 2007: No problem June. Im glad that you talked with him and that its all out in the open. I hope you stay happy. x... (read in full...)

How do you know when you're ready for sex?

Q.   How do you know if you are ready for sex? Because i want to and i feel like im ready but i have a really big problem with a fear of pain! ...

A.   25 January 2007: You will know when you are ready. You wont need to ask but make sure that as Vina said, you're doing it for the right reasons and that you're in a loving relationship. It doesnt hurt too bad. Its a sharp, quick pain but that passes. You may find ... (read in full...)

My cheating partner has been telling lies to the health visitor! I feel so alone. Help!

Q.   hi there not sure where to start but here goes my partner has been telling lies about me to our health visitor and family she tells them i swear at her and that im verbally abusive to her which is untrue we have had our ups and downs shortly af...

A.   25 January 2007: You need to talk to the health visitor as well and put the record straight about this. I dont know why she is doing this but it could be that she has post natal depression. Does she behave like this normally? If you feel alone then I suggest you ... (read in full...)

My partner is constantly on sex chat websites! It tears me up inside. But am I wrong to feel this way?

Q.   I practically Live with my partner been together about 4 months. He's constantly on these sex chat websites sending pictures and msgs to other people. Its tearing me up inside. He says he loves me and i believe him but this is tearing me up inside ...

A.   25 January 2007: I dont think you're wrong to feel this way. id feel the same and i agree with Pete. I think its cheating. he may well view what he's doing as normal and not a part of how he feels for you but as its hurting you so much he should respect you feelings ... (read in full...)

I feel relief... not tears!

Q.   Hi I have finished with my partner, he was a lazy, critical, unemployed pig whilst I worked, did the housework, childcare everything basically! I havent cried yet tho could it be cos Ive cried buckets in the past? I feel relief if anything! ...

A.   25 January 2007: your reaction is perfectly normal trust me. Like I said, I felt the same, in fact the whole family felt it, my kids were jubilant so I knew id done the right thing and my only regret was that I hadnt done it sooner! Take care.x... (read in full...)

My ex gf has moved on, she wants me to leave her alone. It hurts so bad! Help!

Q.   me and my girlfriend broke up recently after 11 months, we fought a lot, bt we always seemed to make up. We both did things we weren't proud of, but recently she decided she wanted it to be over. She went out within a few days and has already kissed ...

A.   25 January 2007: James, Im really glad that you feel you can start to move on with your life. You sound like a nice guy and one day you will meet a girl who will treat you right. She does sound very troubled and it sounds like she took it out on you. I dont think ... (read in full...)

My husband and I are perfect, except for the sex. He said I could have other partners so long as I came back to him... but now I've fallen in love with one!

Q.   Please can you offer me some advice. I am married and have been with my husband for 5 years. We have one 2 year old boy and I am 6 weeks pregnant with our second child. We are happy together and we are made for each other but he just does not do i...

A.   24 January 2007: I have to say I agree with the others. While the excitement of great sex is addictive and a strong lure, you have got to think of your family. Your children and husband must come first before your physical needs. You may think that you are falling ... (read in full...)

My ex gf has moved on, she wants me to leave her alone. It hurts so bad! Help!

Q.   me and my girlfriend broke up recently after 11 months, we fought a lot, bt we always seemed to make up. We both did things we weren't proud of, but recently she decided she wanted it to be over. She went out within a few days and has already kissed ...

A.   24 January 2007: I think that by the sound of it, she didnt really know what she wanted. 11mths is not a long time to know whether you truely want to marry someone. In the beginning our feelings can be very strong and you may think that you've found the one but its ... (read in full...)

I've got this girl's number but I'm scared to call her! I don't know what to say. Please help me!

Q.   Well, the other night at a concert i got this girls number and have yet to call her. i mean i like her and all, she is an awesome girl, but i don't know if she likes me back, you know wat i mean. i asked for it and she gave it to me. but i dont know ...

A.   24 January 2007: Hi there, I remember being sixteen, a long time ago and feeling this way. She must like you a little to give you her number so thats an start now you have to bite the bullet and call her. You will be nervous of course but i imagine she will be too. ... (read in full...)

I feel like I'm being used! Where do I stand with her?

Q.   Dear Cupid, Where do I stand? My partner and I have been dating for just over 4 months but it seems now that I am always chasing her.I see no future unless she lets me into all aspects of her life. Her parents have decided to move abroad and they ...

A.   24 January 2007: Hi there, I think personally that you're going to have to call time on this one. She appears to enjoy all the chasing after her that you do. It does sound as if she's not a happy person, that she's not at all sure what she wants unless she wants sex ... (read in full...)

It was my first time sex, we used a condom, but im worried about the "wet bit" is this a concern ?

Q.   The first time I had sex was yesterday. I just got off my period 3 days ago so there is a lower risk of pregnancy. We used a condom and he seemed to know what he was doing. However, between my butt it was extremely wet. Could this have just been ...

A.   24 January 2007: * Do you have a big ass crack? * Martini, you've just made me choke on my coffee with laughter. Anyway, to the question, I would agree with the others that its probably just your natural lubrication and the lube from the condom too and sweat. As to ... (read in full...)

My ex gf has moved on, she wants me to leave her alone. It hurts so bad! Help!

Q.   me and my girlfriend broke up recently after 11 months, we fought a lot, bt we always seemed to make up. We both did things we weren't proud of, but recently she decided she wanted it to be over. She went out within a few days and has already kissed ...

A.   24 January 2007: Hi there, I know its hard and it hurts like hell but you're going to have to take a step back away from this girl and let her go. She's made her feelings very plain and you will only make things harder for not only yourself but her as well if you ... (read in full...)

My libido has gone and the porn on his PC has only made me more upset!

Q.   My sexual libido has gone. ive been with my bf for over 2 years now and recently moved in with him. I ve also put on weight so i dont feel sexy anymore or comfortable in his presence (i dont even like getting changed infront of him). now ive fo...

A.   24 January 2007: Hi there, Of course you cant help feeling upset. You're low because of your weight gain and the fact he's turned to plastic women to get his pleasure. The fact of the matter is, he probably didnt even notice that you've put on a bit of weight and ... (read in full...)

I feel relief... not tears!

Q.   Hi I have finished with my partner, he was a lazy, critical, unemployed pig whilst I worked, did the housework, childcare everything basically! I havent cried yet tho could it be cos Ive cried buckets in the past? I feel relief if anything! ...

A.   24 January 2007: Hi there. First of all, well done on getting rid of that lazy so and so. Now you can get on with the rest of your life. I dont blame you for feeling relief and I know exactly where you're coming from because I ended a similiar relationship six years ... (read in full...)

How do you ask a guy how he feels about you, without giving away all your feelings?

Q.   I really like this guy I work with and I'm pretty sure he likes me too but the flirting and the hinting has gone on for so long now, I just want to know if he likes me in the same way as I like him. But I want to think of a way of asking him how he ...

A.   23 January 2007: Good luck. go for it girl! You wont know until you take the plunge. Hope it works. Let me knowx... (read in full...)

When I say no to anal sex, he gets in a bad mood! I don't want us to break up over this...help!

Q.   I've been dating this guy for three weeks now, he's 19 and I'm only 16 so when it comes to sex i already feel as though i don't know enough and it makes me feel inferior. We have a very sexually active relationship, we can't seem to keep our hands ...

A.   23 January 2007: Hi there, well my reply is going to reflect what the others said because he certainly sounds as if he doesnt respect you or your feelings and you seem to be just a plaything for him. You're only sixteen and just learning about sex and he's not a ... (read in full...)

He has a 'pee' fetish and it weirds me out! How do I handle this?

Q.   Ok ive been with my boyfriend for 2 yrs, were really good together and have a great sex life. The thing is he recently revealed a bit of a fetish to me, he told me peeing turns him on. I mean ive heard of it but its not something i ever thought ...

A.   23 January 2007: Hi there, well everyone has their little turn ons and a pee fetish is becoming more common these days. its obviously not for everyone though and if you dont want to take part then thats fine and it sounds like he doesnt expect you to participate in ... (read in full...)

I haven't got my period! Am I Pregnant?

Q.   I am in a serious relationship with my boyfriend. We have had sex twice and we used protection both times. I still think I might be pregnant because my period hasn't come yet. What do I do?...

A.   23 January 2007: Hello, If you used protection and I presume you mean the condom and it didnt split then I think its unlikely that you're pregnant. At your age, periods can be a little unregular and take a while to settle into a routine so I would say its that. If ... (read in full...)

How do you ask a guy how he feels about you, without giving away all your feelings?

Q.   I really like this guy I work with and I'm pretty sure he likes me too but the flirting and the hinting has gone on for so long now, I just want to know if he likes me in the same way as I like him. But I want to think of a way of asking him how he ...

A.   23 January 2007: Hi there, it certainly sounds as if he likes you but you two could be going on like this for ages if one of you doesnt make a move. It sounds like he's too shy to do it so you have to get in there! If you dont want to lay all your cards on the table ... (read in full...)

How do I get over this big obsession about his ex! What should I do?

Q.   I have been seeing a guy over 3 yrs, and he left his ex and kids,but now his son is having problems in behavior and might have to stay there. How do i get over not getting upset with him ex there causei really don't like her. I know he loves me. ...

A.   23 January 2007: Hi there, well you have to accept that he does have a responsibilty to his children and if he has to move back in with his ex to help control his son's behaviour then you should respect that. I know its hard if you really dont like his ex but you ... (read in full...)

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