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*tina agony aunt

*tina

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*tina's profile:

Hi, I'm Stina! I've been an agony aunt here on Dear Cupid since July 2006 and became a site moderator the following November. I've not been able to be on here as much as I used to be, but that's because I've just started a new job. Hopefully I'll be able to be on here much more in the future. But for now, it's office work for me during the day!

Anyway, I grew up being very independent and because of that have always been able to work out problems in my life pretty well. My friends have often times come to me to help sort out what they should do in tough situations, as well. Hopefully I'll be able to help you out if you ever need advice, too! ^_^

As for who I "really" am - I'm 26, an atheist, and married. I live in beautiful Charm City, Murderland with my husband, our three hairless chinese crested pups (Ivy, Zoey, and Duncan), one smooshy floofhead dwarf hamster (Budgie; RIP Dr. Sushi T_T) and one huffy hedgehog (Nacho). I'm a quality assurance engineer and a graphic designer. My artwork has been shown all over the world including the US, France, Algeria, Australia and more. ^_^

I'm also addicted to cute animals, japanese pop culture, reggaeton, 80's hip hop and breakdancing (can't do it!, love to watch it!), experimental and avant garde films, food and tattoos (self designed).

If anyone cares to see a "real" picture of me, you can see one here: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com/profile (Check out my uber-cool snob nose! haha) I'm posting this in hopes that other aunts/uncles will post their pictures. I'm always interested to see what all of us actually looks like! ^_^

I have a myspace and a livejournal, so if you want to know anymore about me for some reason I'll post the links. (If you'd like to add me as a friend on either of these, please just message me here or on either site! I've made my accounts private to keep out the weirdos.)

Livejournal: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com

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Rememberance

Q.   In remembrance- For one time, I thought it might be ok to skip a question and just give condolences to someone recently past. WWE wrestler Chris Benoit, and his family were all found dead in the their Atlanta, Georgia home. Chris Benoit was a tru...

A.   27 June 2007: This was released late last night on the People website*: _____________________ World Wrestling Entertainment star Chris Benoit asphyxiated his wife Nancy and their 7-year-old son Daniel before hanging himself, Fayette County Sheriff's Departme... (read in full...)

I hate my thighs and my bottom, any hints on how to tone them up?

Q.   Hey, I'm feeling really depressed by my thighs and butt. They are 21 inches, and my hips (incl. butt) are 39 inches. I'd really like to know what i can do to reduce them, and tone them up. Anyone have any nutritional/ fitness advice? Pleas...

A.   27 June 2007: Hi Anonymous, Why on earth would you want to get rid of those curves?? Most people I know prefer a woman who has a nice butt, not the stick figures that run around Hollywood. (Bleh.) Anyway, if you really want to reduce your curves, you coul... (read in full...)

I don't want to be tied down, but I feel an urge to have a baby!

Q.   This is really weird. I'm nearly 16 and I've had sex twice with my boy-friend. My cousin is 18 and has a daughter and has just moved in with her boyfriend. My mum is a child minder so I see a few babies around the house sometimes. Recently I rea...

A.   27 June 2007: Hello there Kat, Perhaps you can get a job working as a nanny or something along those lines? This way, you can take care of babies and children to experience everything. Then you can feel what it would be like to have children and feel the need... (read in full...)

My husband and his brother's wife had an affair. I feel his brother needs to know, but I don't want him to hurt as I do. Children are involved - what should I do??

Q.   I found out my husband had an affair with his brother's wife. I am now going through a divorce. Learning about the affair has almost destroyed me. His brother knows nothing about the affair. I know my soon-to-be ex-husband and his broth...

A.   26 June 2007: Hi Anonymous, Personally, if my spouse had an affair with a family member of mine I would want to know and I wouldn't care who told me. But everyone is different. Do you think the brother would want to know? If you do, then I would probably... (read in full...)

My boyfriend hates that I'm still affectionate with the father of my child--what can I do?

Q.   I feel that my boyfriend of almost a year whom I love very much is trying to control me! I have a son from a previous BF and for the sake of my son he and I are friends. We are Hispanic and have a very close relationship so we kiss on the cheek and ...

A.   26 June 2007: Hello Anonymous, I don't understand why kissing each other on the cheek and hugging one another is good for your son. If you two get along well, are friendly and cordial to one another in front of your son, isn't that what really matters?... (read in full...)

Can the sperm just slide back out so that you cant get pregnant?

Q.   If you have sex and the guy comes inside you and you sit up afterwards and there is a wet patch from you does that mean the sperm have come out of you and you wont get pregnant...

A.   26 June 2007: Hey Anonymous, Some can come out, but some can stay in. And that means you can still get pregnant. It's best to use some sort of birth control - condoms, pills, the ring, the shot, etc. I suggest you speak with your doctor about what method w... (read in full...)

The guy I used to chat online with is now harassing me! He follows me to any website I visit and slanders me!

Q.   Dear Cupid, HELP! My life is a bit of insanity right now. Currently, I am in a rocky long term relationship. On top of that I thought I had liked someone else. Well, I started talking to this other person via the net and realized that I ...

A.   26 June 2007: PS - If/when you call the police, make sure that you have all of the info you've gathered in front of you - ip addresses, dates, names he's been using, emails, phone numbers, and anything else. (Before I contacted the police about my stalker, I ... (read in full...)

The guy I used to chat online with is now harassing me! He follows me to any website I visit and slanders me!

Q.   Dear Cupid, HELP! My life is a bit of insanity right now. Currently, I am in a rocky long term relationship. On top of that I thought I had liked someone else. Well, I started talking to this other person via the net and realized that I ...

A.   26 June 2007: Hi there Davey, I had a stalker a few years back and ended up calling the police. They created a case number and took all my info - I kept recoreds of EVERYTHING he wrote to me or wrote about me and sent it to them. They asked me to write on... (read in full...)

Rememberance

Q.   In remembrance- For one time, I thought it might be ok to skip a question and just give condolences to someone recently past. WWE wrestler Chris Benoit, and his family were all found dead in the their Atlanta, Georgia home. Chris Benoit was a tru...

A.   26 June 2007: According to the AP, the police think that it was a murder-suicide. Here's an excerpt from an article the AP has released: "Investigators believe Benoit, (pronounced ben-WAH,) killed his wife and son over the weekend and then himself sometime... (read in full...)

I'm worried that the pill will cause me to gain weight - I have a knee injury and can't exercise!

Q.   I've been having severe break-outs on my face (acne/pimples) for the last 6 months. They are also very painful. I never had any problems with acne before. I also noticed that my periods have not been regular in the last 6 months. And very scanty ...

A.   26 June 2007: Hi there, The pill does not make a person gain weight, but it does increase appetite. Someone else actually asked about this very thing. I will repost my answer to her below: ----------------- A *huge* misconception about the pill is th... (read in full...)

My bf and his parents know that I'm 9 weeks pregnant, but how do I tell MY parents??

Q.   Hi I need help breaking the news..... adive and tips I'm 9 weeks pregnant and going through a very tough pregnancy i developed hypertension and this could be come critical for me and the baby.I have told my bf about everything and the only other p...

A.   26 June 2007: Hi there Anonymous, I recommend this website to everyone and people have told me it has helped them out tremendously. I have a feeling that it would probably help you out, too. Here ya go: http://www.momdadimpregnant.com/ It has sections... (read in full...)

My boyfriend told me I was too big--now I am depressed and uncomfortable with him

Q.   Hello, I am 27 years old. I have been through a lot the past year. I left my husband after 10 years. I lost my father, who was my rock. I lost almost everything me and my four kids owned. I have been in a new relationship for about 10 or 11 m...

A.   25 June 2007: Hello Amanda, Well, not that it will make a difference what I think, but you don't sound like you need to lose any weight in my opinion. Anyway, you say that you've gained weight. I think that's more of an important issue than the dumb comment... (read in full...)

I kissed another girl when I was drunk; should I tell my girlfriend and risk hurting her, or keep it quiet?

Q.   hello, i am 18 years old and a freshman in college. my girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 months. i truly think this girl is "the one" for me and i am very much in love with her. i know it's early on in the relationship, but i can't help how i ...

A.   25 June 2007: Hello Anonymous, I always believe that honesty is the best policy. Put yourself in her shoes - would you like to know or would you like to be kept in the dark about something that was obviously a huge issue to you? I know I would. And not... (read in full...)

Should I believe in a second reading from a medium?

Q.   Who believes in psycics/mediums. The first prediction came true, the 2nd reading said the same as the first. Should I believe in the second reading? ...

A.   24 June 2007: "now she maintains that it is still going to happen. What do you think?" ...why don't you ask your soulmate instead of the medium? (That might sound sarcastic, but it's not meant to be!) Again, while psychics might be interesting and entertai... (read in full...)

My bf won't show me his penis after a year's realtionship! Any ideas as to what's wrong?

Q.   Right..I've bin havin sex with my b/f for a few months now..when he "broke me in" it was really difficult..it took us at least 4-5 attemps..he has done probably everything imaginable to my body but even after a YEAR! he refuses to show me his penis ...

A.   22 June 2007: Eee! Sorry, I obviously read that wrong! ^_^ Put the std idea on the backburner for now, because although it may be a possibility it doesn't seem as likely now. But I still think something is definitly going on here. Something tha... (read in full...)

My fiance says he'll dump me anytime he isn't getting his way

Q.   what does one u do or should do when ur significant other sabotages the relationship to get it their way. i mean, my fiance threatens to break off the relationship when he doesn't get it his way, so i always give in for him. what can i do about ...

A.   22 June 2007: Also, you said that you always give in to whatever he wants. Well, this is unhealthy - look how you feel. You need to break the pattern and stop giving in. If he doesn't like it, then too bad. There's always compromising so you both get a little ... (read in full...)

Should I believe in a second reading from a medium?

Q.   Who believes in psycics/mediums. The first prediction came true, the 2nd reading said the same as the first. Should I believe in the second reading? ...

A.   22 June 2007: Hi there Anonymous, I really don't feel like any psychic has any merit. Besides, what are you looking to find out? Everthing that has happened has already happened. Everything that will happen is going to happen regardless of what anyone s... (read in full...)

My fiance says he'll dump me anytime he isn't getting his way

Q.   what does one u do or should do when ur significant other sabotages the relationship to get it their way. i mean, my fiance threatens to break off the relationship when he doesn't get it his way, so i always give in for him. what can i do about ...

A.   22 June 2007: The easiest thing to do (and what I would actually recommend) would be to leave him. He's being disrespectful to you and relationship and so many different levels that I can't even being to fathom how he became your fiance, let alone your ... (read in full...)

My bf won't show me his penis after a year's realtionship! Any ideas as to what's wrong?

Q.   Right..I've bin havin sex with my b/f for a few months now..when he "broke me in" it was really difficult..it took us at least 4-5 attemps..he has done probably everything imaginable to my body but even after a YEAR! he refuses to show me his penis ...

A.   22 June 2007: Okay, my first thought was rather alarming, but I'm not saying this is what going on (thought I should just mention that first). Anyway, on with what I have to say -- you've been with your boyfriend for a few months, but you've been sexually active ... (read in full...)

He said "He had his whole hand up to his wrist in me"! Is this possible?

Q.   Hi my friend told me about this site and I’m new at this and I have a question and hope you can help me. Two days ago I was in the back seat with my boyfriend kissing and so things got heated. We touched each other and then with his hand he went ...

A.   22 June 2007: Hello Anonymous, It's possible (I'm sure you've heard of fisting, right? Well, that's what this is...one form, anyway.) and it's extremely dangerous. If he really did this, don't let him do it again. I used to work as a forensic photogra... (read in full...)

Shall all the dear cupid advisors meet?

Q.   I know you have aunts from all over the world, but I wondered whether it may be a nice idea for us to meet at a convention of some sort...somehow? Perhaps several....

A.   21 June 2007: Don't worry, Andrew. That's why we're all bringing weapons to protect ourselves from one another, as Dr. Pete suggested! lol ^_~... (read in full...)

She tell her Mum everything that we get up to!! What can I do?

Q.   Hi me and my girlfreind have been going out for 4 months now and I really do love her. However when we sleep together or talk on the phone she tells her mum eveything. She even tells her what we do and i cant look at her mum the same way now. Can ...

A.   21 June 2007: Hi Bob, I totally agree with retachi on this one. While having a close relationship with one's mom is great, what happens between the a couple sexually should stay between the both of them if one person is uncomfortable with the other dishing ... (read in full...)

He's acting strangely around his friends; is it because of me?

Q.   Okay, so my boyfriend has been kind of acting really weird around his friends, but he seems completely normal when he's talking to me, and I'm afraid I might have something to do with it, since he has been spending a lot of time with me, and less ...

A.   21 June 2007: Hi again!, Hmm...well, I think it's time you and your guy had a chat. Let him know how you feel and that you're worried he may be acting strange because of you. Let him know that you think everything is okay and that you don't want to set limi... (read in full...)

He's acting strangely around his friends; is it because of me?

Q.   Okay, so my boyfriend has been kind of acting really weird around his friends, but he seems completely normal when he's talking to me, and I'm afraid I might have something to do with it, since he has been spending a lot of time with me, and less ...

A.   21 June 2007: Hello reatachi, I think most guys are like this. But what do you mean he has been acting really weird? Wouldn't it be better for him to act like he's your boyfriend instead of him acting like he's your friend? I guess I'm just kind of confused... (read in full...)

Me and my bf had sex and he got angry because I didn't get anything from it. He told me to get out. I dumped him. I'm so upset. What should I do?

Q.   I went to my boyfriends today we had sex but he knew i didnt get anything from it all i care about is holding him close not pleasure, he got really annoyed that i didnt and when i got upset saying its not his fault he told me to get out of his house ...

A.   21 June 2007: Hi Gemma, He got mad because ultimately he didn't satisfy you. I think maybe he felt a bit embarassed or something along those lines, but instead of talking about it like he should have, he ended up getting angry. I think since he didn't w... (read in full...)

Shall all the dear cupid advisors meet?

Q.   I know you have aunts from all over the world, but I wondered whether it may be a nice idea for us to meet at a convention of some sort...somehow? Perhaps several....

A.   21 June 2007: "Maybe we should all bring some forms of weapons to protect ourselves from each other" LOL! I don't think I'd get past airport security if the meet would be in London! I'd have to buy mine while in town. Any shop suggestions? ;P PS - I vote to ... (read in full...)

My girl has bad breath! How should I tell her?

Q.   Is it likely that someone who is physically imperfect is more likely to hurt you than someone who is quite good looking and pretty? I got hurt by a girl once in past and i thought she looked pretty ok, to my opinion, she had ugly teeth and nose ...

A.   21 June 2007: Hi Anonymous, For the bad breath? Offer her a piece of gum. For the nose? Don't say anything. I'm sure you're not perfect in her eyes, either. Take care.... (read in full...)

Shall all the dear cupid advisors meet?

Q.   I know you have aunts from all over the world, but I wondered whether it may be a nice idea for us to meet at a convention of some sort...somehow? Perhaps several....

A.   21 June 2007: I think that would be fun - maybe have several in each area we're all from? Although, I only know of me and DV1 being from around the same area... lol ^_^ But it would be more fun for people in the UK and where there are more aunts/uncles. (Not ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend left me, then I found out I was pregnant. He threatened me alot and when the baby was born she was stillborn. Should I send him a picture of what we made together?

Q.   My ex and I have been separated for the past 8 months (he initiated it after 5 years together). When we split I discovered I was 5 wks pregnant. He didnt want me to carry on with the pregnancy and told me to abort. I told him where to get off and ...

A.   21 June 2007: Hello Anonymous, I'm so, so sorry you had to go through all of that stress and devastation. Especially without any support from the guy who was supposed to be supporting you and left when you needed him the most. Awful. Given his reaction, it... (read in full...)

We had a fling and now everyone knows about it and is being nasty! What should I do?

Q.   i had a fling with a guy i knew through work, it was supposed to be descrete, now i find he has told people things we did and its got back to some relatives and people at work who are being unpleasant, i said its lies but they're being really nasty ...

A.   19 June 2007: Hi Anonymous, Like Eyes said, the best thing to do would be to ignore the jerks. Of course it's going to be hard and it's only natural for negative comments to bring you down, but honestly you're above all of this. You know, this is not even any... (read in full...)

I dont want my Mom to date, but I dont want her to be unhappy either

Q.   hi, my mum was married twice and divroced twice.. ever since it was perfect! now she is dating a new guy.. and i hate him! not that he is bad.. i just dont like him.. or maybe im not used to it.. and he is trying to bribe me into liking him too, ...

A.   19 June 2007: Hi Anonymous, It's understandable that you're a bit upset - it's pretty normal for people to feel that way when one of their parents starts dating someone new. You said that you hate him - why? You said that he's not bad, so maybe you are fe... (read in full...)

We have both been trying for a baby for ages but looking to adopt. help us if you can

Q.   help please: trying for a baby for ages but looking to adopt. help us if you can. hi im 20 will be 21 in october me and my partner who i have been with nearly 5 years have been trying for a baby for nearly 2 years we are looking to adopt from a ...

A.   19 June 2007: Hello again, Well, since I guess you can't legally adopt until you turn 21 anyhow, that will give you time to research what needs to be done. Have you looked online for information about surrogate mothers? Maybe even your doctor/fertility... (read in full...)

My boyfriend treats me like a maid

Q.   Hi. my boyfriend and i have been together for one year now even though we have been friends for close to ten years. The problem is that he he feels a woman place is in the kitchen. He does support my career aspiration but bluntly refuses to help ...

A.   19 June 2007: Hi Anonymous, If I were you, I wouldn't tolerate this guy's behavior. At the very least, you two should pick up after yourselves - and since he is the one who partially dirties up everything, he should have no problem splitting chores such as ... (read in full...)

Can a person be provoked to a point that they physically abuse someone else?

Q.   Can a person be provoked to a point that they physically abuse someone else? I have been wondering about this if just the abuser can say that provocation led them to do it. What you think?...

A.   18 June 2007: (At least that's how passion crimes work in the US, not sure about Canada...)... (read in full...)

Can a person be provoked to a point that they physically abuse someone else?

Q.   Can a person be provoked to a point that they physically abuse someone else? I have been wondering about this if just the abuser can say that provocation led them to do it. What you think?...

A.   18 June 2007: Hello Anonymous, "Can a person be provoked to a point that they physically abuse someone else?" Yes, but that doesn't make it right or even legal. If someone has said something that makes you so upset, then that's when it's time to turn around a... (read in full...)

They said if I don't break up with her, I'l regret it. What should I do?

Q.   i have been going out with my girlfriend for 6 months and we know each other fairly well. however a few weeks ago i went to a party with her that was with people she mostly knew. this included some guys a few years older than me (i'm 20 she's 18...

A.   18 June 2007: Hello Anonymous, You should have contacted the police immediately to file charges - these men threatened and assaulted you. The bottom line shouldn't be your girlfriend, the bottom line should be that these crazy people aren't able to get away... (read in full...)

He's told me if I don't sleep with him, he'll do something nasty!! Help!

Q.   my boyfriend asked me if i wanted sex i told him i didnt not right now weve only been going out for 3 months. he said if i didn't have it soon then he will do something nasty! i've tried to tell my mum and his mm but they won't help! can you h...

A.   18 June 2007: ***FYI to everyone*** This question is posted again with more info here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ive-told-him-i-want-to-end-it.html... (read in full...)

I have a qhite spot under my eye, does anyone know what it could be???

Q.   i have a white spot under one eye, just along the line of my eyelashes. its hard and it doesnt have any blood or pus in it but its quite unsightly. any idea what it could be and what i can do to get rid of it? iv had it for quite a long time and ...

A.   18 June 2007: Hello Anonymous, I don't think any of us are qualified to give you an answer about something like that. Those of us who are medical doctors may be hesitant to give out med advice on something like the problem you've described, as it could be... (read in full...)

We have both been trying for a baby for ages but looking to adopt. help us if you can

Q.   help please: trying for a baby for ages but looking to adopt. help us if you can. hi im 20 will be 21 in october me and my partner who i have been with nearly 5 years have been trying for a baby for nearly 2 years we are looking to adopt from a ...

A.   18 June 2007: Hi Anonymous, I'm not sure if they do this over in the UK, but here in the US couples can put an "ad" in the classified sections of newspapers. Here are a couple ads that I just read from one of my local papers - they may give you some ideas fo... (read in full...)

I've told him I want to end it but he won't let me, he said he is going to take me somewhere and I can't come home or he'll rape me!

Q.   I've told him I want to end it but he won't let me, he said he is going to take me somewhere and I can't come home or he'll rape me! I want to run away but my problem will just follow why can't i run away from my problem? i can't talk 2 my mum she ...

A.   18 June 2007: Hi there, I responded to your other post, but was unclear of what exactly he was planning on doing. Call the police. Now. Tell them what he said and ask to be escorted home by an officer. I'm sure once you talk with the police, they wil... (read in full...)

He's told me if I don't sleep with him, he'll do something nasty!! Help!

Q.   my boyfriend asked me if i wanted sex i told him i didnt not right now weve only been going out for 3 months. he said if i didn't have it soon then he will do something nasty! i've tried to tell my mum and his mm but they won't help! can you h...

A.   18 June 2007: Hi Babiie, I suggest you ditch the creep and ignore whatever it is that he might say about you. If he is threatening you with violence, talk to your mother again and notify your teachers. If you get rid of this jerk and don't feed in to what he'... (read in full...)

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