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... Send *tina a private message | | | *tina's profile:Hi, I'm Stina! I've been an agony aunt here on Dear Cupid since July 2006 and became a site moderator the following November. I've not been able to be on here as much as I used to be, but that's because I've just started a new job. Hopefully I'll be able to be on here much more in the future. But for now, it's office work for me during the day!
Anyway, I grew up being very independent and because of that have always been able to work out problems in my life pretty well. My friends have often times come to me to help sort out what they should do in tough situations, as well. Hopefully I'll be able to help you out if you ever need advice, too! ^_^
As for who I "really" am - I'm 26, an atheist, and married. I live in beautiful Charm City, Murderland with my husband, our three hairless chinese crested pups (Ivy, Zoey, and Duncan), one smooshy floofhead dwarf hamster (Budgie; RIP Dr. Sushi T_T) and one huffy hedgehog (Nacho). I'm a quality assurance engineer and a graphic designer. My artwork has been shown all over the world including the US, France, Algeria, Australia and more. ^_^
I'm also addicted to cute animals, japanese pop culture, reggaeton, 80's hip hop and breakdancing (can't do it!, love to watch it!), experimental and avant garde films, food and tattoos (self designed).
If anyone cares to see a "real" picture of me, you can see one here: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com/profile (Check out my uber-cool snob nose! haha) I'm posting this in hopes that other aunts/uncles will post their pictures. I'm always interested to see what all of us actually looks like! ^_^
I have a myspace and a livejournal, so if you want to know anymore about me for some reason I'll post the links. (If you'd like to add me as a friend on either of these, please just message me here or on either site! I've made my accounts private to keep out the weirdos.)
Livejournal: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com |
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My wife says she loves me like a brother and it's tearing me apart.
Q. What is wrong with my wife? I love my wife very much. I love her as a person and adore her physically. I am very warm and affectionate to her. However, I do not feel that physical bond towards me. She says she loves me but so does more so like a b...
A. 29 May 2007: (BTW - I wrote to "take an evening..." This is going to take longer than an evening to fully sort out...but the first in-depth discussion will take an evening or longer. Sorry! Should have been more clear, but you probably knew what I meant ... (read in full...)
My wife says she loves me like a brother and it's tearing me apart.
Q. What is wrong with my wife? I love my wife very much. I love her as a person and adore her physically. I am very warm and affectionate to her. However, I do not feel that physical bond towards me. She says she loves me but so does more so like a b...
A. 29 May 2007: Hello Anonymous,
Is there something that may have happened in the past? I mean, could she be holding a grudge against you for something that you two didn't completely resolve? That's the first thing that popped into my mind.
By the way th... (read in full...)
Is it right to spend time with the opposite sex when you're with someone else?
Q. Is it right to spend time with the opposite sex when are you in a relationship with someone else?...
A. 29 May 2007: Hello Anonymous,
It isn't right and it isn't wrong. It depends on how the people in the romantic relationship feel about their partner spending time with a friend of the opposite sex. It's what works best for the both them.
I believe that peo... (read in full...)
Special evening planned for my bf..just need some lingerie..any good online lingerie shops out there?
Q. My boyfriend comes back in three weeks from a five month trip. I really want his first night back to be special and memorable. Can anyone recommend any online lingerie shops? There are a million on the net and I don't want to end up with some...
A. 29 May 2007: Hello Karinana,
What about Victoria's Secret or Frederick's of Hollywood?
You could write him a letter that lets him know how much he means to you. May sound cheesy, but I'm sure he'd love it.
You could also do something that you two u... (read in full...)
His gift is too big for me, what can I do???
Q. My boyfriend just bought me a beautiful Gucci belt to go with a bag i recently bought... the only problem is that it's too big for me !! He doesn't have as much money s i do so i know he must have had to save for it. I don't want to hurt him by ...
A. 29 May 2007: Hey Anonymous,
I'm sure that you would be able to exchange it. Go to the store and tell them that you don't have the receipt, but you would just like to exchange it. Those high end places to practically anything to make their customers happy.
... (read in full...)
I cheated on her. Should I come clean before we get married?
Q. My fiancé and I have been together for about 13 months. 6 months ago we separated for a few days and I slept with three different woman trying to ease my suffering at the time. one of them was my ex who was always a worry of hers, one random stray ...
A. 29 May 2007: "Stina - You don't know me hun..." I don't have to know you to have an opinion that having an affair is not a moral decision.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
I cheated on her. Should I come clean before we get married?
Q. My fiancé and I have been together for about 13 months. 6 months ago we separated for a few days and I slept with three different woman trying to ease my suffering at the time. one of them was my ex who was always a worry of hers, one random stray ...
A. 25 May 2007: Uncle J, I just went and looked back at one of your previous questions: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/can-a-born-again-christian-and-an-aethiest.html It seems like you question telling your fiance the truth an awful lot. Remember - like I... (read in full...)
I cheated on her. Should I come clean before we get married?
Q. My fiancé and I have been together for about 13 months. 6 months ago we separated for a few days and I slept with three different woman trying to ease my suffering at the time. one of them was my ex who was always a worry of hers, one random stray ...
A. 25 May 2007: Hello Uncle J,
"I only did this because i was so confused and scared of the sickness I felt when we broke up." Do not make excuses for yourself, especially when speaking with your fiance. If you couldn't handle the situation, the best thing to... (read in full...)
How do I drop a hint to my married co-worker, that I really him?
Q. I work with a manager who is about 48 yrs old. I like him a lot for his maturity, confidence, and sincere pride in his job and life. I'm a 20 yr old girl, but feel like he is someone I could get along really well with. I don't know if he likes me ...
A. 24 May 2007: Anonymous,
You can drop the hint by saying something like "Hey, you're hot. Why not cheat on your wife and leave your family for me so we can get it on?" (Notice the obvious sarcasm.)
Honestly! Anonymous, you say this man is professional, ma... (read in full...)
Am I allowed to love someone while knowing he's not the one?
Q. Am I allowed to love someone while knowing he's not the one? How do I tell him that--I don't want to lead him on and have him plan our futures together, but he's a very all-or-nothing guy, and I don't want this to be the end--I'd still like to be ...
A. 23 May 2007: Hello Anonymous,
How can you "love" him if you don't envision you two being together in the future? Are you sure you don't just lust him instead?
If I were you, I would spare him the feeling of having his heart ripped out if he's "a very all... (read in full...)
I got drunk and he got very angry with me! I'm hurt and I refuse to call him! Any advice?
Q. Ok... I've been dating this guy for 2 months pretty heavily basically we would see each other 2-3 times a week and the rest of the days of the week we would have some kind of text whether call or text. I waited about 7 or 8 dates before I had sex ...
A. 23 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
I would call up this guy and tell him what you've written here. Tell him how it made you feel. And be sure to ask why he got so angry - it might just be because he is worried. Maybe he thinks that someone could have taken advantag... (read in full...)
I am a bit worried because I think some of the substance got on my clothes and hair. Could I be infected with this?
Q. Today at school I did a sewer lab in Chemistry. I am a bit worried that I caught a disease, because in this lab we deal with microorganisms, pee, and fecal matter. We run tests on these. I am a bit worried because I think some of the substance got ...
A. 23 May 2007: Anonymous,
Take a shower and go to the doctors office where you can be tested for whatever disease you were researching in your chem class. Next time, put your hair back and roll up your sleeves if you're going to be touching poo.... (read in full...)
Is it true that birth control pills can lead to weight gain?
Q. is it true that birth control pills can lead to weight gain? most of my friends say they have gained extra weight from using the pill, with the range being from a few pounds up to 3 stones! my husband and i use other methods of birth control,(and it ...
A. 23 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
No, the pill does not lead to weight gain.
There have been studies by reputable organizations/doctors that disprove that myth - just do a quick online search for "birth control" and "weight gain." Here is an article that dis... (read in full...)
My ex best mate and my bf were in the bathroom together - he says nothing happened! Should I believe him?
Q. been with bf for 3 yrs but i think he has cheated for the fact that when we first got together we were at a party but he was in toilet supposidly being sick but i couldnt hear him then two weeks later found out my ex best mate was in toilet with him ...
A. 22 May 2007: I think it's time that you and he had a heart to heart conversation. Tell him that he's hurting your feelings and making you upset. But keep in mind not to sound like your attacking him - just be straight up with him. Also tell him that you'd ... (read in full...)
How do I stop my bf being possessive??
Q. I've been with my bf for 6 months and he has now become really possessive of me. When random guys chat me up he'll freak out on me and tells me that I must be doing something to make these guys chat me up and I must be encouraging them in some way, ...
A. 22 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
You aren't doing anything wrong and you shouldn't feel bad. Your boyfriend has issues with being insecure. He needs to work this out for himself. Don't let him make you think otherwise, okay?
I think the best thing to do woul... (read in full...)
Why am i so controlling and cruel??
Q. My boyfriend of 1 and a half years is really good to me, and has always been loving towards me. He never really done anything to hurt me, but yet for some reason...i cant help being a complete bitch to him. Im so nasty to him sometimes. He broke up...
A. 22 May 2007: Hello Jendor,
Have you thought about going to counselling to figure out why you are acting so mean? Talking to a counselor would be able to help you get to the root of your problem - maybe it's from the incident that happened in the past, or... (read in full...)
No guys feel good enough to date after him!!!
Q. Well first of all, me and this boy had started dating on last thanksgiving, he seemed to be the perfect candidate to date, everything started out well, we talked everyday and shared our feelings for one another, but then about 2 weeks after we ...
A. 22 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
If a big part of why you broke up was because you couldn't text each other anymore, then I think the relationship was headed for disaster before you got rid of that service for your phone.
Please don't feel bad about this break... (read in full...)
Should I tell my mum about my boyfriend as my teacher advised?
Q. the other day my p.e teacher caught me kissin my boyfriend...(it was after school had finished) my boyfriend is a bit older than me...she said that i have to tell my mum about him or shes going to... but she doesnt know how my mum will react...what ...
A. 22 May 2007: Hi there tontinha,
It sounds like your teacher is concerned. If you haven't told your mother about your relationship, then it sounds like you don't think she would approve. I'm sure that they have good reason to want to protect you from someone.... (read in full...)
My ex best mate and my bf were in the bathroom together - he says nothing happened! Should I believe him?
Q. been with bf for 3 yrs but i think he has cheated for the fact that when we first got together we were at a party but he was in toilet supposidly being sick but i couldnt hear him then two weeks later found out my ex best mate was in toilet with him ...
A. 22 May 2007: Hello Sunflower,
The time to bring this up was three years ago when it happened. Is there a reason you're thinking about it now? Is there a reason that you don't think you can trust your boyfriend at this point in time? Surely you couldn't... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time chasing this married man?
Q. Please I need advice! I have been seeing a married man each week at a club but the thing is we havent had sex just kissed and stuff - nothing more. He is always there making sure I get home ok - even helped me when i was drunk. The looks he has on ...
A. 22 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
Getting involved with married partners always ends up in frustration, confusion and a whole array of hurt/negative feelings. Go ahead and read the other questions on this site that deal with people dating married partners. There's ... (read in full...)
Should I play hard to get, to get the guy!?
Q. I like a guy friend and i'm pretty sure he likes me too. i don't know what to do now. my friend says play hard to get but i'm not sure if i should. i can trust most of u so what do you think? ...
A. 22 May 2007: Hi Confused,
I've never been the one to like playing mind-games on people. I think it's a terrible thing to do and I can't understand why people do that to one another. Why would you do something like that to someone you like?
I always thin... (read in full...)
Why are guys so rubbish at calling us girls ??
Q. Does anyone have an answer why guys never call their girlfriends? My boyfriend calls me once a week (when he feels like hanging out) ... and when I tell him it bothers me he saiz "But honey,if I called you all the time,what would we talk about all ...
A. 22 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
First off, not all guys are like this. At least, the ones who really care and want to be in a committed relationship. If he only calls you when he "needs to 'do it'" then I think you are in a relationship with the wrong guy. If... (read in full...)
I suspect he's living with his family. How do I get him to confess?
Q. I am in a relationship with this guy I met on the internet. He has a wife and three kids. He says he loves me and that we are soulmates!He has made so many promises and sent me some really nice things. I have never been this in love! He says he ...
A. 21 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
If he has a wife and three kids, fails to call you back, will only text/email you in the evenings and weekends, and more then I think it's safe to say that this relationship will not progress. He is kidding himself, hurting his fami... (read in full...)
We occassionally have unprotected sex. Is counting days safe?
Q. my boyfriend and I tend to have unprotected sex... ehm, last month we did, he didnt come, we stilled vowed not to do it again. but over the weekend we got carried away and the same thing happend... again he didnt come but ive been following the ...
A. 21 May 2007: Hello Anonymous,
"Im told one can only get pregnant a certain amount of days in the month.." Whoever told you this was seriously misinformed. You can get pregnant at anytime. Please speak with your doctor to find out about the various methods ... (read in full...)
He's 7 years older than I am, should I say yes if he asks me out?
Q. I'm a college sophomore and at work I just met a grad school freshman who I suspect may ask me out, however I skipped two grades and he spent three years abroad...so it's a seven or eight year age difference. He doesn't realize I'm young for my ...
A. 21 May 2007: Hello Anonymous,
Well, to avoid any awkward situations, I would personally tell this guy my age before accepting a date if you think it's going to pose a problem. (Maybe get to know him better a bit more in general.) If you really, really j... (read in full...)
Should I tell my girlfriend that our mutual friend doesn't like her?
Q. A mutual friend of my girlfriend and I recently told me that she doesn't like my girlfriend at all. My girlfriend always talks about how much she likes this friend and invites her out all the time. Should I tell my girlfriend? I feel like I'm lying ...
A. 21 May 2007: Hi there Anonymous,
I would just leave it alone. If your friend decides that she doesn't want to deal with your girlfriend anymore, then she will figure out a way to bring it up. Even if it's something as simple as always being busy when you... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and my bf won't speak to me! I haven't told my parents - what do I do?
Q. Hey - I found out i was pregnant last week and just told my boyfriend 3 days ago. We've been going out for about a year now and I'm so scared he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. Ever since I told him, he hasn't contacted me once. I ...
A. 21 May 2007: Hello anonymous,
I wrote a response to a similar question earlier today. You may want to take a look at that question, as well, because it may help you out, too. So far, there have been five answers to the other question.
http://www.de... (read in full...)
Why won't she let me cum on her face?
Q. She let's me do it in her mouth everytime I ask, even swallows sometimes. She let's me do it on he rear all the time and once I did on her breasts but she will not let me ejaculate on her face. Isn't it unusual? Why do you think that is?...
A. 21 May 2007: Ponun!! lol
(And I can't believe I'm even looking at this question page while I'm at the office! Well, at least it makes the day more interesting, I suppose. haha)... (read in full...)
Why do I always talk to my parents about my girlfriend?
Q. For some reason after everytime I see my girlfriend when I return home I have to let off steam and talk to parents about her. The thing is most of the stuff I say is not neccesary but other things are. I think I have gotten into habbit but there are ...
A. 21 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
I think instead of telling your parents what has been going on, you need to talk to your girlfriend. You probably keep having to let off steam because your girlfriend doesn't really understand that she's doing anything wrong. ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my boyfriend that I'm pregnant without scaring him away?
Q. hey i just found out im pregnant this morning i took 2 tests and both came out positive im so upset nd scared of wot my parents will say but i dont even know how 2 tell him, i tried after i found out on the fone but i started crying nd hung up, how ...
A. 21 May 2007: Hi there anonymous,
I think you should check out this website: http://www.momdadimpregnant.com/ I think it would be very helpful for you to read so that you can find out what you might expect from your boyfriend and parents.
Obviously thi... (read in full...)
Why won't she let me cum on her face?
Q. She let's me do it in her mouth everytime I ask, even swallows sometimes. She let's me do it on he rear all the time and once I did on her breasts but she will not let me ejaculate on her face. Isn't it unusual? Why do you think that is?...
A. 21 May 2007: Why do questions like this keep being approved? This is obviously not real. "Isn't this unusual?" Give me a break.... (read in full...)
I met the female work colleague my BF has been spending time with and she acted really weird! Why?
Q. I just want to know if it's normal for this girl that my bf works with to come to my work and not be able to look at me or introduce herself. We have had problems about 5 or 6 months ago because of this girl and my bf going to her house without ...
A. 18 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
Well, my thought is that she likes him more than a friend and was upset to see who her friend chose "over" her.
But my other thought is that maybe she felt like you didn't like her since she was the one who caused problems and it ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Video introduction to the site from Andrew, site founder!
Q. Message from Andrew, site founder: (let me know your comments!)...
A. 18 May 2007: after finally being able to see the video (!!!), i have to agree with everyone when they say it's nice to actually see you! ^_^
is this something that we will all be able to do at some point? if not for questions (I know you mentioned doing th... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Video introduction to the site from Andrew, site founder!
Q. Message from Andrew, site founder: (let me know your comments!)...
A. 17 May 2007: :( Frump!!! I can't see this (videos) at work. I can't wait to go home!! lol... (read in full...)
Should I tell his wife he cheated on her?
Q. I was seeing a married man for 15 months. He is 46, 13 yrs my senior. Married 24 yrs, with 4 kids and 2 grandkids. I should say he was also my boss and sunday school teacher.After months of pushing him away he held on strong. Everyone knew except ...
A. 16 May 2007: Good lord, Anonymous. You came here looking for help and now you feel like you have to apologize and explain your emotions to a complete stranger. You shouldn't have to do that. This post has totally gone off on a tangent - I suggest you take the ... (read in full...)
What songs are good for kissing to?
Q. I know this may sound like a bit of a stupid question but here goes: I'm curious as to what songs are good for kissing to. I've figured that "Truly, Madly, Deeply" is a good one along with "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" and when you're 8 years o...
A. 16 May 2007: Hey there Peter, What about any kind of music that she's into? I suggest finding out what she likes - it will be more special than choosing just a random song, don't you think? Everyone's tastes are going to be different, you know? And chanc... (read in full...)
her bf hugged me and she somehow smelt that on me.
Q. hi , I know this is stupid but my mate hugged me and she smelt her boyfriend on me because I hugged him earlier and she went off on one sayin that I got off with him and Shes making a big deal about it. Today She rang after me and slapped me and ...
A. 16 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
Dude - honestly I would forget about her. She's abusive and unwilling to talk about what happened. This is not how a friend behaves. A friend would want to talk to you and see what you have to say. A friend would NOT slap you... (read in full...)
can you get pregnant from giving a blow job?
Q. hi there i was wondering if you were to give a guy a blow-job and he cums is there a possible chance that you can get pregnant?i need answers asap!!!!!thankyou:)...
A. 16 May 2007: No - your reproductive system and digestive systems are totally seperate.
Are you really 18? I'm only saying this because I know that our government tries to keep people in the dark about sexual education. Ridiculous. I'm so glad that states h... (read in full...)
She bugged me for a ring and now that I gave her one...but she won't commit to me! Help!
Q. Does she still love me? I am 24 and my gf is 21. We have been together for 2 1/2 years off and on. we have a child together and she also has an older child. the last break up we had was very bad and since then i have been trying my hardest to get ...
A. 16 May 2007: Hello Frustrated,
Since you are both broken up for the time being, it seems to me that maybe she is irritated that *now* is the time you chose to buy the ring instead of when you two were actually together. And coupled with the fact that you only... (read in full...)
How do you truly express that you love someone when they dont believe you!?
Q. What do you say to someone whom you love so much to keep them?How do you express how you really feel if they dont believe you when you say you love them?...
A. 16 May 2007: Hi there anonymous,
Here is my view: It's not so much what you say, but what you do that makes someone realize that you love them. Do things that make it known you care about that person - let them listen to whatever music they want to in the c... (read in full...)
My parents were over protective when I was young, Im now 21 and dont feel I have a normal life and I'm scarred!
Q. I grew up with two very overprotective parents, who wouldn't allow me to grow up, in fear of losing their little girl forever. Whenever I tried to act my age, they would give me a hard time and I would get in trouble, even if I was doing something ...
A. 16 May 2007: Hi Catlova,
Honestly, I think you should make an appointment with a conselor so you can discuss all of the problems you are going through. I think a doctor would be more qualified to help you since you seem to have gone through 21 years of abuse... (read in full...)
Should I tell his wife he cheated on her?
Q. I was seeing a married man for 15 months. He is 46, 13 yrs my senior. Married 24 yrs, with 4 kids and 2 grandkids. I should say he was also my boss and sunday school teacher.After months of pushing him away he held on strong. Everyone knew except ...
A. 15 May 2007: Hi again anonymous,
You're welcome! (I really don't see the point in acting like a jerk to someone who is in need of help. All it does is end up making the person angry/defensive and making me look like a heartless jerk. Plus it's just plain un... (read in full...)
Should I tell his wife he cheated on her?
Q. I was seeing a married man for 15 months. He is 46, 13 yrs my senior. Married 24 yrs, with 4 kids and 2 grandkids. I should say he was also my boss and sunday school teacher.After months of pushing him away he held on strong. Everyone knew except ...
A. 15 May 2007: Hi Anonymous, If he is trying to renew his relationship with his wife, then that's good. My suggestion is to leave him and her alone. What good would it do - he has a family that he is trying to keep together. You are just feeling bitter r... (read in full...)
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