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*tina agony aunt

*tina

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Hi, I'm Stina! I've been an agony aunt here on Dear Cupid since July 2006 and became a site moderator the following November. I've not been able to be on here as much as I used to be, but that's because I've just started a new job. Hopefully I'll be able to be on here much more in the future. But for now, it's office work for me during the day!

Anyway, I grew up being very independent and because of that have always been able to work out problems in my life pretty well. My friends have often times come to me to help sort out what they should do in tough situations, as well. Hopefully I'll be able to help you out if you ever need advice, too! ^_^

As for who I "really" am - I'm 26, an atheist, and married. I live in beautiful Charm City, Murderland with my husband, our three hairless chinese crested pups (Ivy, Zoey, and Duncan), one smooshy floofhead dwarf hamster (Budgie; RIP Dr. Sushi T_T) and one huffy hedgehog (Nacho). I'm a quality assurance engineer and a graphic designer. My artwork has been shown all over the world including the US, France, Algeria, Australia and more. ^_^

I'm also addicted to cute animals, japanese pop culture, reggaeton, 80's hip hop and breakdancing (can't do it!, love to watch it!), experimental and avant garde films, food and tattoos (self designed).

If anyone cares to see a "real" picture of me, you can see one here: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com/profile (Check out my uber-cool snob nose! haha) I'm posting this in hopes that other aunts/uncles will post their pictures. I'm always interested to see what all of us actually looks like! ^_^

I have a myspace and a livejournal, so if you want to know anymore about me for some reason I'll post the links. (If you'd like to add me as a friend on either of these, please just message me here or on either site! I've made my accounts private to keep out the weirdos.)

Livejournal: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com

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Could I have caught HIV from biting my tongue in a restraunt???

Q.   Today I went and ate at a buffet restraunt with my family and friends. While I was eatting I bit my tougue by mistake and blood was coming out. It looks a bit puffy now. Since I bit my tougue, could I be expose to any diseases since this took place ...

A.   18 July 2007: Hi there Anonymous, We seem to have gotten a number of questions from you about contracting HIV and other stds from contact with various items ranging from lotions to utensils. I think you're worrying too much about this. And why in the world... (read in full...)

My boyfriend gets mad because I never have anything to talk about!!!

Q.   My boyfriend gets mad because I never have anything to talk about!!! When were on the phone and we have a good conversation he asks me what do I want to talk about and I always say I don't know because I really don't have anything to talk about. I ...

A.   18 July 2007: Hi there Shan, You boyfriend shouldn't get mad that you don't have anything to talk about, especially if you've both just finished a good conversation. People don't always need to be talking nonstop. (I actually find that quite annoying - people... (read in full...)

Can sperm die in chlorine water?

Q.   Can sperm die in chlorine water?...

A.   18 July 2007: Hello Anonymous, No, it cannot - "sperm dying in chlorinated water" is a myth. If someone told you that you don't need protection if you have sex in a pool, etc, then they have been misinformed. (You should tell that person they are wrong ab... (read in full...)

My bf said he liked another girl that goes to his school! I trust him, but not her. What can I do?

Q.   well my boyfriend told me the other night that he liked this girl and im going to 9th grade but he has to stay in 8th grade with her so we will be in 2 differant schools and im afraid that they will go out while im not being able to see him im mean ...

A.   17 July 2007: Hi there Haylee, Well, at least your boyfriend is honest. I'll give him that. But let me tell you, if a boyfriend of mine ever said he liked another girl, I would have broken up with him on the spot. Obviously he's not ready to be in a commi... (read in full...)

My friend and I both like the same guy and he likes me, not her! Should I go out with him?

Q.   My best friend likes this guy, but he likes me, not her. I like him too. So should I go out with him, or not? My best friend says I can, but I'm not sure......

A.   17 July 2007: Hi Anonymous, Everyone is different when it comes to problems like this, so you're probably going to get a lot of different answers and stories from people. I remember back in high school when my friend and I liked the same person. We told... (read in full...)

When's the best time to have children? During college or after?

Q.   so i've been with my boyfriend for 2yrs and we plan on getting married in the future. we also plan on having kids. but the problem is. i dont know when is the right time to have kids?? during college? or after?...

A.   17 July 2007: Hello Anonymous, During college you're going to be putting a lot of time into going to class, doing work for class, studying, and working (if you have a job). You're going to be stressed out enough with the workload that you have from school -... (read in full...)

I kissed my boyfriends coworker

Q.   I kissed my boyfriends work friend. The girl he was out with was upset he offered to walk me to the car although i dont know if she actually saw the kiss. me and my partner go out with these people regularly and i cant guarantee he wont be told...

A.   16 July 2007: Hi Anonymous, You tell us not to tell you to let him know, so the only other suggestion I have is for you to break up with him. You relationship is not based on trust and there is infidelity. Is that what you want you relationship to be based ar... (read in full...)

Is it possible she is jealous I got a housemate?

Q.   Female vs Female relationship. I am in love with my best friend. We are seperated by about 1300 miles. She knows how I feel as I have told her. She is unhappily married (no lectures please) anyway I am convinced she feels the same way about me even ...

A.   16 July 2007: Hi there Kelsi, Given what you've said, I do think that she is jealous. But at the same time I think it's unfair that she is acting this way with you. She knows how you feel about her and if she's really that unhappy in her relation... (read in full...)

A part of me wants full disclosure about her prior relationships but I don't how to approach it.

Q.   I've been in a relationship with a great woman for the past two years. We're both in our early 30's. Having been in several relationships, I know she is the one for me. We are compatible in so many ways. We spend a lot nights together staying...

A.   16 July 2007: One other thing that I just thought of... Are you her first relationship after she dated this woman? Maybe she was afraid that you'd reject her if you knew she just came out of a relationship with another female. She just may have been afraid t... (read in full...)

A part of me wants full disclosure about her prior relationships but I don't how to approach it.

Q.   I've been in a relationship with a great woman for the past two years. We're both in our early 30's. Having been in several relationships, I know she is the one for me. We are compatible in so many ways. We spend a lot nights together staying...

A.   16 July 2007: Hi Anonymous, I have a feeling that your girlfriend may have decided after dating this woman that she was, in fact, not into women. She probably views this as an extremely awkward time in her life and would probably just like to forget about it... (read in full...)

My ex turned to me when his heart was broken, but dropped me as soon as she wanted him back!

Q.   Thanks to all who reply to this. My ex has been in regular contact with me since his girlfriend left him a couple of weeks ago. I was away for part of last week and he left messages on my cell phone to call him. I called him today and he informed me ...

A.   10 July 2007: Hi there Anonymous, That was a terrible thing for your ex to do to you! I'm wondering if you all split because he made the decision. If this is the case, then he probably knew that you would welcome him back with open arms and be a shoulder... (read in full...)

We're using the "pull out method" and I have some worries...

Q.   ok me and my bf have sex alot and we havent been using condoms lately. he pulls out instead. well when i go to wipe his semen off of me i noticed i acidently used the toilet paper i wiped it off with and wiped my "area" soon after. can you get ...

A.   10 July 2007: Hello Anonymous, You are more likely to get pregnant from the pull-out/withdrawal method. (Look it up to see the % rate. I believe that it works only about 76% of the time, but I can't check because I'm at work.) If you don't want to get preg... (read in full...)

My friend got naked at a party to show my husband what a great body she has

Q.   I used to think my husband and i were quite strong and that he loved me but now i am not so sure we had a party and my friend came, she has lost a lot of weight and looks real good now i on the other hand am over weight i am trying to lose it ...

A.   10 July 2007: Hi Anonymous, Oh. My. God. That woman is NOT your friend. How long have you been friends with her? To be honest, it sounds to me like she used you to get to your man. She is a disgusting individual and I would cut all contact with her. If... (read in full...)

I'm so mad at my gf's ex for what he did to her!! How can I control my anger?

Q.   hi there .. ive been with my gf for about 4 months now .. and i just realized that a former bf of hers who i know quite well and have never really liked him.. used her and im REALLY mad because she seemed really upset .. and im jus really mad at him ...

A.   9 July 2007: Hello Anonymous, You need to forget about it, like everyone else here has pretty much said. Not only because of what has already been mentioned, but because the more you bring it up, the more she's going to think about that crappy time in her l... (read in full...)

He's been phoning prostitutes but says he wouldn't meet them, it just gives him a thrill... is this acceptable?

Q.   I recently discovered that my partner has been phoning prostitutes and asking them what they offer. I inadvertently found that he had been looking at websites for local massage parlours on his PC and so checked his phone, and he had a number for a ...

A.   9 July 2007: Hi Anonymous, You said "I am feeling hurt, and that my self-esteem is rock bottom..." Then you asked "Do you think this is acceptable?" Given what you've stated, NO this is NOT acceptable!! What this tells me is that your partner values h... (read in full...)

My friend told me I could get herpes or sexually transmitted diseases on my lips at a food restraunt. Is this true?

Q.   My friend told me I could get herpes or sexually transmitted diseases on my lips at a food restraunt. Is this true? Only if the person is infected with herpes....

A.   9 July 2007: Hi Anonymous, Yes, it's true. If you use a glass, utensil or anything else that has not been thoroughly cleaned and that was used by someone who had blisters, then it's very likely that you could get it, as well. (Although, I believe that you... (read in full...)

I've just broken up with a player, I'm not devastated and I didn't love the bloke, but I soooooo want to teach him a lesson!

Q.   Ok ok, for starters I don't want do gooders here! I don't want comments or advice from people who think I'm sad and bitter and I should move on and forget and forgive ok? I've just broken up with a player, I'm not devastated and I didn't love the ...

A.   9 July 2007: Hello Anonymous, I think if he sees you're doing just fine without him it will make him feel the worst and will spare you from looking like a jerk (just like he is). Sorry, I don't see the point in hurting someone just for the sake of being an... (read in full...)

I tend to get major erections in the presence of my SISTER-IN-LAW in our house

Q.   I tend to get major erections in the presence of my SISTER-IN-LAW in our house. I know this is wrong, but I do it to test her reaction. So far, she hasn't said anything to me. My wife told me to stop walking around the house in my boxers, but I st...

A.   5 July 2007: Maybe your wife has told you to stop walking around in your boxers because your s-i-l has mentioned something to her. Why are you trying to test her reaction? What do you expect to get? Do you want her to jump your bones right then and there?? ... (read in full...)

I am feeling shut out from my daughter because of the boy she is dating

Q.   I am a married woman with a 20 year old daughter. In the past few months she has been seeing a boy who we have not met and they have become very close. He is also 20 and is her first boyfriend and I have just found out that their relationship has ...

A.   5 July 2007: Hi there, My mother used to try to talk with me about my sex life when I was your daughters age, too. It was totally and completely awkward and I felt like it really was not any of her business anyway. She most likely knows about safe sex at t... (read in full...)

I would rather date his best mate, but dont want to seem a slut

Q.   Hi there, I met a guy a couple of months ago in a club (call him Mr A) and we have met up most wkds since, we have kissed loads but have not yet slept together altho we did sleep in the same bed once - but nothing more than kissing and cudd...

A.   5 July 2007: Hi there Anonymous, I don't see anything wrong in getting with Mr. B, especially since it's been several weeks since Mr. A has contacted you. If you're really worried about it, you could mention something to Mr. B. Maybe say something along ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend thinks I'm bisexual and I think he could be right; what if I'm not and he's disappointed?

Q.   Hi there ... just wanting some advice. I am deeply in love with the man I am currently with and I hope to be with him long-term.Recently my man suggested that perhaps I might be bi-sexual I dont know if I am or not. I love being with my man but I ...

A.   5 July 2007: Well, just going by what you said and not knowing you personally or anything, it sounds like you probably are not bi. The main reason for me saying this is because at this point in life, I personally feel as though you would *know* if you're ... (read in full...)

How come my answers dont get posted?

Q.   hey! I've been on this site for a while and I was wondering why arent most of my answers being posted?!...

A.   5 July 2007: Hi Dollparts, Answers are rejected for a lot of reasons: - written in all caps - written in text speak - fake - unintelligable - dangerous - unhelpful (ex - if you say "move on" from a break up, state *how* to move on, etc.) - extremely... (read in full...)

I have a crush on a female star from Wimbledon, so I friended her on Myspace. Is this considered stalking?

Q.   i have been watching wimbledon and i have developed a crush on a particular female star. i went onto myspace to see if she was on it (it was set to private) and i asked to be her friend (those who have myspace will understand the procedure). the pr...

A.   3 July 2007: Hi there, People have crushes all the time on celebrities, that's why they have myspace sites, fan clubs, and seperate addresses to get fan mail, etc. As long as you don't actually try to figure out the personal details of this person and/or h... (read in full...)

Been married for 20 years, but feel it's over....what can I do?

Q.   i need help been married for 20yrs, and i feel like its over what do i do next?...

A.   3 July 2007: Hi Anonymous First thing I suggest is that you talk with your husband and try to figure out what went wrong and how you're going to work together to fix it. Next thing I recommend would be going to counselling if just trying to talk (and unders... (read in full...)

I need to take a test to prove I'm not on drugs but I take medication that could affect the results

Q.   HI: I need as many replies as I can get. The thing is that I'm applying for a professional job for the first time. The ones that you get with a college degree and are full-time. I know that those jobs require that you pass a drug test and while I'm ...

A.   3 July 2007: Hi Anonymous, You will be dealing with medical personnel when you take the test, so just tell them about the medication that you're on and give them the proof you've spoken of (show them the medication bottle, note from your doctor, etc.) and ther... (read in full...)

I used to like to have sex with fat girls, but now I want to move on

Q.   I'm a cute guy but I hung out with FAT chicks and I invested so much on them to have sex with them and my question is: how do I get rid of them and find new friends?...

A.   3 July 2007: You could say something like "I'm ready to get rid of you FAT chicks that I used for sex so I can find new friends." Chances are that will get rid of them really quickly. It will also give them the chance to see what an assh*le you are and that ... (read in full...)

Should I tell the guy I just slept with I have genital warts?

Q.   i was treated for genital warts a few months ago and i recently slept with my ex should i tell him as i think they are comin back...

A.   3 July 2007: Laura, I can't find any resources that say there is a cure for either HPV or HSV and I've even checked US government websites. In fact, everything I've read and heard from doctors states the exact opposite. Are you thinking of the shot that hel... (read in full...)

Could sperm survive from our first sexual encounter to our second 1/2 hour later?

Q.   ok, here it is. yesturday me and my boyfriend had sex. we used a condom but then we did it adain no more than half an hour later. he didn't come out but could there still be sperm from the first time and would it still survive? is there a chance ...

A.   3 July 2007: Hi Anonymous, If he used a condom both times, then obviously things are fine. But if he didn't, it wouldn't matter if the sperm survived or not - there's a chance you could get pregnant from using no protection at all, period. Better safe t... (read in full...)

I feel anxious about the way people perceive me

Q.   I have a heavy feeling of anxiety and uncertainity about the future and it seems that i am in a never ending battle of conquering the future so as to feel secure, as the present embarasses me the way i am, it is like i am not being valued as i would ...

A.   3 July 2007: What? Sorry, I really don't understand what your problem is, so I don't know if this answer is going to help: From what I gather (I think) you seem to let you and yourself down by not following through on goals you've set for yourself. Maybe yo... (read in full...)

Should I tell the guy I just slept with I have genital warts?

Q.   i was treated for genital warts a few months ago and i recently slept with my ex should i tell him as i think they are comin back...

A.   3 July 2007: Yes, you need to tell him. If his health is at risk, you shouldn't even have to question this! I think you know you need to let him know what's up, but you're putting it off as you know you've done something wrong. And Dr. Pete is right - it's n... (read in full...)

I want to get a mohawk (im a girl) but im afraid of what people will say.

Q.   hi. I want to get a mohawk (im a girl) but im afraid of what people will say. i dont want to be bald all the way on the sides just short kind of. can someone help me find pictures or somthing so i can get an idea of what i want. ...

A.   3 July 2007: The Devotchkas have hot mohawks. Or they used to when I went to their shows like 7 years ago! lol (God, I can't believe it's been that long!!) http://images.google.com/images?svnum=10&um=1&hl=en&q=devotchkas Why don't you look up pics of ... (read in full...)

How do you overcome a deep obsession with an ex?

Q.   HOW DO YOU OVERCOME A DEEP OBSSESSION WITH AN EX??? Please dont tell me to move on; thats the point, I want and need to so desperately but cant seem to do it. How do I stop spying on him and his new girlfriend via myspace, looking at all her ...

A.   3 July 2007: Hi Anonymous, You can block their myspace pages from your computer. Perhaps have someone else do it and not tell you the password. Then you need to tell your friends not to tell you anything about your ex or anyone who he's dating, etc because ... (read in full...)

Does he need to be dominated?

Q.   Do british men like sex and bondage? i have dated a spanker but other than that he is a limp bisquit in bed. Could it be he wants to be dominated? What suggestions do you have? ...

A.   3 July 2007: Hello Anonymous, Didn't you just write another question about splitting with this guy? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/gonna-dress-up-in-heels-and-fishnets-and.html Besides, you're asking the wrong question to the wrong people. You sho... (read in full...)

Gonna dress up in heels and fishnets and show up at his door

Q.   Just had a relationship breakup. Thinking of showing up at his place in heels and fishnet tights and showing him a side he never saw. Sex between us was almost nonexistent and now I just want to dominate him in a sexual way. He has never seen this ...

A.   3 July 2007: Anonymous, Is it too late to show up at his door dressed in heels and fishnets? You just broke up. Yeah, I'd say it's a little too late. Why do you want to dominate him sexually after you two have broken up? Wouldn't it make more sense to ta... (read in full...)

Acne issues! Help!

Q.   Hi i really have a big problem for 2 years i have had acne and i am only 12 and it is starting to go and it has left marks on my face plz plz can you tell me what i can use to get rid of or atleast fade them away a bit thankx xxxx...

A.   2 July 2007: Hi there xbubblesx, A lot of people have written in with this sort of question. Basically, you can either use the products that people will write works for them or you can go to a doctor to find out what will work best for you personally (since t... (read in full...)

Am I selfish if I do not tell my wife that I do not love her in fear she will break up the family?

Q.   Am I selfish if I do not tell my wife that I do not love her in fear she will break up the family? We have tried several times to work things out, she is a great mom and person but she is not someone I want to grow old with once the kids are gone. ...

A.   2 July 2007: Are you selfish not to tell your wife? Personally, I think so. Why should she be stuck married to a guy who doesn't love her? And why should you be stuck with someone who obviously isn't making you happy? Let's look at what your main concern ... (read in full...)

I have recently found out that my best friends boyfriend has been cheating on her!

Q.   hi i have recently found out that my best friends boyfriend has been cheating on her! My boyfriend was the one who told me (as my friends boyfriend is his mate) but he said if i tell my best friend he will finish with me. i don't think he would ...

A.   2 July 2007: Hi there, I think it's wrong for your boyfriend to give you an ultimatum. What does that say about your own relationship? So what he's basically saying is that his friend is more important...since you are being made to be dishonest about th... (read in full...)

YOU CAN HELP: Spread the word about DearCupid!

Q.   Hi, I want to ask a really big favour of everyone who uses, likes and has been helped by DearCupid. Help spread the word this weekend, by doing some of these suggestions: * Tell your friends and family about DearCupid * Talk about and ...

A.   2 July 2007: Hey! I always refer my friends to DC. I also have had it posted on my myspace and livejournal ever since I registered on this site last July! I also leave it as my name link when I post comments on blogs. ^_^ I know my husband lets people k... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is all over me in public, but not at home--what is up?

Q.   My boyfriend is all over me in public and never touches me at home! Why?...

A.   28 June 2007: Hi Anonymous, Without knowing any details whatsoever about either of you, my first guess is that maybe he is "claiming his territory" by smothering you in public where other guys could see you. It's like he's not really doing the touching... (read in full...)

My girlfriend wont buy my car, but I think she should

Q.   I recently suggested to my girlfriend that she could buy my car off me in about a year or so when she has passed her test. She hasn't even started learning yet. The car itself is in perfect condition and everyone who sees it wished they had a car ...

A.   28 June 2007: Why is she acting like what? She doesn't want your car, so leave her alone. I don't really see why this is such a big deal.... (read in full...)

Rememberance

Q.   In remembrance- For one time, I thought it might be ok to skip a question and just give condolences to someone recently past. WWE wrestler Chris Benoit, and his family were all found dead in the their Atlanta, Georgia home. Chris Benoit was a tru...

A.   27 June 2007: This was released late last night on the People website*: _____________________ World Wrestling Entertainment star Chris Benoit asphyxiated his wife Nancy and their 7-year-old son Daniel before hanging himself, Fayette County Sheriff's Departme... (read in full...)

Rememberance

Q.   In remembrance- For one time, I thought it might be ok to skip a question and just give condolences to someone recently past. WWE wrestler Chris Benoit, and his family were all found dead in the their Atlanta, Georgia home. Chris Benoit was a tru...

A.   26 June 2007: According to the AP, the police think that it was a murder-suicide. Here's an excerpt from an article the AP has released: "Investigators believe Benoit, (pronounced ben-WAH,) killed his wife and son over the weekend and then himself sometime... (read in full...)

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