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"Time to take off the mask and reveal the REAL you."

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Would my man be embarrassed to receive roses at work?

Q.   I want to send the man I love a bunch of roses, just cos im a bit of a soppy romantic and want to suprise him. However he is at work all day and so if I sent them to his home he wouldnt get them. Do you think it would be too embarrassing for him to ...

A.   17 January 2007: Well usually its the woman who receives flowers, and flowers arent exactly a man thing, however its a beautiful thought, and I am sure he would be overwhelmed at your kind gesture. xxx... (read in full...)

Define: "love triangle"

Q.   Is there a formal definition of a "love triangle"? Wondering about possible outcomes and resolutions....

A.   17 January 2007: Well a triangle has three sides right? So a love triangle is when you and your partner are togtether but there is some other party involved hence the three of you, sometimes even more, but then I guess its no longer a triangle but a love hexagon or ... (read in full...)

He 's balck..I'm white and my family are against interracial relationships! What should I do?

Q.   I would like some feedback on what to do about this situation. I have met a great guy recently who I really like and who likes me. He is black and I am white. He has only dateed white women and his family has no problem with it. I've never dated a ...

A.   30 December 2006: I have to disagree with the commen by rhythmandbluses2. Who is bashing the readers parents or anything to do with their southern roots? The fact is, this is racism on their part and all I would like to emphasise to the reader is that she is enti... (read in full...)

I'm a virgin and my first time trying didn't go so well - is there something wrong with me?

Q.   I am a virgin and yesterday I tried to have sex with my boyfriend but I just got really scared and started to panick and cried so we stopped. Is there something with me ?...

A.   30 December 2006: There is nothing wrong with me, but perhaps you are just not ready for sex. If you were scared, then your body will tense up and make intercourse virtually impossible. Only have sex when you are physically and emotionally ready, ok hun? xXx... (read in full...)

I'm a 19 yr old virgin - am I missing out!?

Q.   I've been really depressed for the past few years due to my lack fo love life. I'm now 19 years old, and only had my first kiss a few weeks ago, and that was only a one off snog when out on the lash. I'm still a virgin, and when my friends, who ...

A.   30 December 2006: My friend you are not the only one out there who is a virgin, so dont feel so alone. Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of, neither do you need to be in such a hurry to lose it. When I was much younger, all my friends were talking about what ... (read in full...)

He 's balck..I'm white and my family are against interracial relationships! What should I do?

Q.   I would like some feedback on what to do about this situation. I have met a great guy recently who I really like and who likes me. He is black and I am white. He has only dateed white women and his family has no problem with it. I've never dated a ...

A.   30 December 2006: My dear, you are an adult and if you choose to date a man who is a different colour to you, then so be it. Racism and the end of the day is foolishness and ignorance. I am black and have nothing against dating white men, in fact the man I am kind ... (read in full...)

Is my relationship age gap ok? How can I make it work..

Q.   My brother is 19..... He has a friend who is 19 also. I am 13. My brothers friend really likes me. He said he would go out with me now but he is afraid that my brother would kill him (Not really kill him) is he found out. My brother just like all ...

A.   26 December 2006: The advice from the anon reader below is rather irresponsible as I think encouraging an underage girl to go out with a 19 year old is plain stupidity. My dear listen to me, I will not patronise you, but you are very young. I am not saying that at 1... (read in full...)

It's a new relationship, so should I dump him for not getting me anything for christmas?

Q.   My bf didn't get me anything for christmas. He asked me what size i am and I said small or x small, and then he said i'm not getting u anything!!! so don't think i'm gonna buy u anything. He didn't get me anything for christmas. The relationship is ...

A.   26 December 2006: Sweet heart, I am not sure that this is a real relationship yet. He seems a bit uncaring as Irish said, and I am not convinced that this relationship is off to a great start. You say you havent kissed, well that in itself is not an issue as such, ... (read in full...)

He wants me to get bigger boobs and blonde hair and tells me if I get fat, he will leave! What should I do?

Q.   Hi my boyfriend of 5 yrs wants me to get plastic surgery for my breasts and wants me to bleach my hair. I was always happy with my breast but he says they should be bigger and higher...he also wants me to become a blonde.....which I dont think would ...

A.   26 December 2006: Well I certainly wont add to the porn debate as thats irrelevant what I think, but to the question poster what I will say to you is that as long as you LOVE you and are happy with YOU, dont feel you need to change to be the kind of woman your man ... (read in full...)

Last year at xmas, my married boss and i got together. Part of me wants it to happen again, but I know it's wrong! Help!

Q.   Hi there... I posted nearly 12 months ago... last year xmas time, me and one of my bosses were getting on really well, flirting and everything, we both didnt think it would go any further as he is 13 years older than me and married. Anyh...

A.   26 December 2006: You said this: He loves his wife and doesnt stop talking about her.... And I assume when you say one thing led to another, you mean you had sex? Errm, NO, he doesnt love his wife as a man who LOVES their wife does NOT have an affair with another... (read in full...)

Went to a party and kissed someone else. "love" my boyfriend though!

Q.   i wen to a party and kissed aguy i ddnt know... i have a boyfriend and i love him and wouldnt do anything to hurt him but it just sorta happend i didnt think to stop it.Should i tell him or keep it to myself there are 5 people that know and they are...

A.   26 December 2006: My dear, this kind of thing happens a lot with young people when they go out and the atmosphere is geared up for something like this to happen. The thing is, you say you love him, but if you LOVE him, then you wont have kissed someone else asd you ... (read in full...)

I love my GF, but Im really bothered about her past sexaul partners, how can I get past this ??

Q.   I have been with my girl or almost a year. Im in love with her so much, but it really bothers me about the guys she has slept with beore me and she is my 1st girl riend. What should i do to get over this?...

A.   23 December 2006: Hi, well I always say that the past is the past. There may be reasons why she had som many sexual partners in the past, maybe she has esteem issues and felt that my sleeping with lots of men she would feel wanted and needed and loved. Try talk... (read in full...)

SITE NEWS: Happy Xmas to everyone, from DearCupid!

Q.   It has been a busy year here at DearCupid! We celebrated our 2nd birthday in November and had our 20,000th question and 70,000th answer published... Thanks to everyone who contributes to the site: Those who ask questions, those who answer, and ...

A.   23 December 2006: Hey everyone. I hope you guys have a lovely Christmas and all the very best for 2007. My plans are as every year, stay sobre, be sensible, eat LOADS and lounge all day!!! Take care. M xxxxx... (read in full...)

Is abortion right or wrong?

Q.   abortion? wot does everyone think? right or wrong? i would love to know your opinions x x x...

A.   20 December 2006: Its a matter of personal opinion. Everyone has theor own view on what is right and wrong. I personally do not believe that I have the choice to decide whether I can end a life, buts thats ME. Its not for me to say what is right and wrong for anyone ... (read in full...)

We flirt and I play hard to get, now he told me he likes someone else! What should I do?

Q.   There's this fit boy i really like, he's confident and very charming although i play hard to get. we tease each other and have a laugh, he has admitted he likes me but he says he fancies someone and it looks like they're gonna get together! what ...

A.   20 December 2006: My dear if you like him then why are you teasing him and playing hard to get? If he admits he likes you and you like him too, but you kind of push him away, what else do you expect him to do, he wont keep trying if he thinks you are not interested. ... (read in full...)

My bf is texting another girl every day. Is he cheating?

Q.   My boyfriend has been texting some girl at his work regularly (every day) when i'm not about. Do you think he could be cheating? And is it acceptable to be hiding it or does he just think cos i don't know he can carry on and get away with it. She ...

A.   20 December 2006: Its a tough one, I mean a guy and a girl can JUST be friends and there is absolutely nothing apart from friendship going on, however if he is hiding it, I find this odd. If he is doing nothing wrong, then he ought not to be secretive, but maybe he ... (read in full...)

I don't understand bra sizes - what's the number for? what's the letter for?

Q.   I bought some lingerie for my girlfriend (and a vibrator but I'l0 give her them two items when I leave her parents house). But the one thing I don't understand about Breast size is what something like 34C means. What does the 34 mean and what does ...

A.   12 December 2006: The number refers to your back measurement and the letter eg A/B/C etc referes to the cup size i.e. the actual fulness of the breast itself. xxx... (read in full...)

I have an identical twin sisiter...so if a guy likes me, does that mean he could like her, too?

Q.   hi i have an identical twin sister. we look very very alike and people get us mixed up a lot. if a boy fancies me then does that mean he fancies my twin sister aswell? i really really hope not. ...

A.   12 December 2006: Well if he said Leah aka YOU are fitter then it sounds to me that he fancies you. My dear, the point is, is that though you mayhave pretty much exactly the same face as your sis, you are TWO and not ONE, so whatever he sees in you, he obviousl... (read in full...)

Friends with benefits?

Q.   What do you say when a guy says that he only wants to be friends? Yet wants to have sex? I feel like a whore!...

A.   12 December 2006: I meant to say *loser* Sorry!... (read in full...)

Friends with benefits?

Q.   What do you say when a guy says that he only wants to be friends? Yet wants to have sex? I feel like a whore!...

A.   12 December 2006: I'd say " you cheeky losetr, how dare you." Seriously, he wants his cake and not only does he want to eat it, he wants cream inside and icing on top. That is very disrespectful and no FRIEND should even make such a suggestion. Take care. xXx... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to go out with a guy younger than me?

Q.   im a girl and i like a guy who is younger than me, most people say its wrong to go out with guys who are younger than you and im worried what people will say. should i just forget him or is this acceptable?...

A.   10 December 2006: It depends on the transition of the ages, i.e. if you are 20 and he was 15, then there would be a serious problem, if you are 30 and he is 25, SO WHAT! If you are 26 and he is 20, again SO WHAT! Providing you are both ADULTS, why should there be an ... (read in full...)

I like her but she no idea! What should I do?

Q.   what should i do if i really like this girl, but we dont talk hardly ever, and she has no idea i like her...

A.   10 December 2006: Well unless she is psychic or telephathic, the only way she will know my friend is to tell her how you feel. Seriously, thats the only way she will know, unless as I say she is either or both of the two names I have mentioned above. xXx... (read in full...)

"Hooking-Up"What does it mean?

Q.   What does "hooking up" mean these days? Long ago, being "hooked" meant being married. But now, does it mean immediate physical relationship?...

A.   10 December 2006: I totally agree with willywombat, it really can mean anything. To hook up can mean just to meet up, or it can mean to go out with. Its just how you interpret it as she says, I couldnt put it better myself!! xXx... (read in full...)

I have an identical twin sisiter...so if a guy likes me, does that mean he could like her, too?

Q.   hi i have an identical twin sister. we look very very alike and people get us mixed up a lot. if a boy fancies me then does that mean he fancies my twin sister aswell? i really really hope not. ...

A.   10 December 2006: Well it depends on how much he likes you, I mean if he really loves you, then just cos you look identical to your sister, he will only have eyes for you not just looks wise but you as a whole person. If its a case of pure outward attraction, then if ... (read in full...)

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have sex with my good gal mate...is this normal?

Q.   can a guy and a lass really just be mates?? im really good mates with this girl but i sometmes wonder what it woud be like to sleep with her. is this normal??...

A.   9 December 2006: I think what you are experiencing is normal, but you need to control your desires thats all. I mean, I have this weird relationship with a male friend, he told me he is attracted to me, and yes he would like to sleep with me, but he says he can ... (read in full...)

My bf (late 20's) told me he slept with over 100 women..is this an acceptable amout? Should I leave him?

Q.   How many women would you say is an acceptable amount to have slept with by the time you are in your late 20's? My new boyfriend has just told me he's slept with over 100 and it's driving me mad! Should I leave him?...

A.   9 December 2006: To me there is no acceptable amount, I mean I find it absurd that someone in their twenties has slept with over 100 women, its a case of pure uncontrolable lust. I would not sit here and say that "5" sexual partners is ok, but "17" isnt, to me, the ... (read in full...)

Had a fling with a workmate and now I'm leaving my job..he doesn't seem to care! I'm confused..why is he like this?

Q.   I am having a fling with someone at work and he has a girlfriend. I feel bad that he is with someone but i like him and cant resist him. its been going on for a couple of months now and i really fancy him. Trouble is i told myself that i wouldnt get ...

A.   9 December 2006: Sweetie, he does have a girlfriend after all, so it would not be wise to continue to see him anymore. Accept the fact that he got what he wanted, and he is a user and a liar and a cheat, this affair should not have started, but be thankful that you ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to like a lad 2 years younger than me?

Q.   Hi im 15 female in in year 10 and i fancy a boy two years younger than me he's in year 8 is it wrong to like him? Please help!!!!!...

A.   7 December 2006: Having feelings is something no one can control. My dear you cant beat yourself up over the way you feel, but just try to be realistice, perhaps you are both a bit young, but in a few years time, there need not be an issue with the age. Take care. ... (read in full...)

Why am I still single?

Q.   why am i still single? ...

A.   5 December 2006: Why is the world round? Why is the sun yellow, why do birds fly? My dear this is an impossible question as there is no real answer. You may be single because you just havent found the right person. There are no set answers. I cant really say any ... (read in full...)

Is cyber sex, online with different men considered cheating on my husband?

Q.   is it cheating if you are going onto chat sites and chat to guys and talk to them in a sexual way. Sex with my husband is non existent and i feel its the only way i can get rid of my frustration. Yes i have tried to approach my husband to do ...

A.   5 December 2006: Of course its cheating as you are seeking pleasure elsewhere even if you have not actually got into bed with another man. You need to talk to your partner, you need to understand each other and communicate and tell him how you feel. Sex is a big ... (read in full...)

We keep poking each other. Do you think he fancies me?

Q.   hi im 16 and im friends with this boy and when i queue up to get my lunch in the canteen everyday we queue up together. it is quite crowded in the queue. i always stand infront of him while he is talking to me from behind me. he always moves right ...

A.   5 December 2006: Seems to me like he has in interest in you. When someone is very tactile i.e. touchy, feely, it can be a symbol of attraction. My current close "friend" revealed that he has strong feelings for me, and touching me was his way of showing it, so my ... (read in full...)

Bras hurt me and I just can't wait to take them off! What can be done?

Q.   i cant wear bras, i tried 4 just a year, it hurts so much, i've even figured out a way to get my bra off with my t-shirt on since it is soooooo painful. it pulls in my chest so i cant breath i doesnt help becuase i have asthma. i have been fitted ...

A.   4 December 2006: Sweetie, get measured by a proper dress fitter at a store. A bra need only be worn when outside, but indoors, i.e. when you are just in the house and sleeping, dont wear a bra ALL day as its important to let your bust breathe as keeping on bras ALL ... (read in full...)

I'm 13 and scared to lose my virginity

Q.   I need some help, i'm 13 nd im scared ov losin my virginity. ...

A.   4 December 2006: Sweet girl, please, please, please do not think about losing your chastisity right now. When the time is right when you are much older and with someone you love and care for, you need not be scared. But right now, dear girl, be a child, do things ... (read in full...)

Is bisexuality wrong?

Q.   Hello! I just needed to ask this one question. One of my friends told me that she was bisexual, and well, she also told me that one of my other friends, one of my best friends, was bi too. I had always thought that my best friend was bisexual, but I ...

A.   25 November 2006: yet another typo Biblr obviously should be Bible r is next to e on the qwerty keyboard!!!!!!... (read in full...)

Ladies....do girls prefer nice guys or badass guys?

Q.   hey do girls go for nice guys or abit of a bd ass guy?...

A.   24 November 2006: Personally I like a decent, charming, honest good looking guy, the bad boy, bad ass type doest wash with me. Its just a front, and I dont like fronting, I like honesty and decency. xxx... (read in full...)

Is bisexuality wrong?

Q.   Hello! I just needed to ask this one question. One of my friends told me that she was bisexual, and well, she also told me that one of my other friends, one of my best friends, was bi too. I had always thought that my best friend was bisexual, but I ...

A.   24 November 2006: Here is my perspective as a Christian: Who decides what is right and wrong? In MY view, the way I determine how to live my life is what the Biblr teaches in the New Testament, for some, faith doesnt determine how they live at all. Morality ... (read in full...)

I'm not ugly, I'm not fat, I have a good personality. Why is no one interested in me?.

Q.   Recently, I've noticed that I cannot get a boyfriend at all. My friends always have guys trying to be in relationships with them, and this makes me jealous. Everyone tells me to wait, I'll find someone soon but in my opinion, I don't think I wi...

A.   18 November 2006: You said: I'm not ugly, I'm not fat, In my opinion, I have a good personality...why is no one intrested? I agree with the anon reader below, so ugly, fat people shouldny get boyfriends, but people like you should? I think I am ugly, well I have t... (read in full...)

I'm in love with her and she won't even talk to me!!!

Q.   i am 14 years old and i am in love with a girl in my class.i asked her out but she refused and doesnt even talk to me and now the whole school knows about this matter.yesterday i saw her bathing naked and this has made my matter even worse. i am ...

A.   18 November 2006: Dear, I really dont think you love this girl. You are infatuated with her and you are only 14 so I dont think you fully realise the TRUE meaning of love. Seeing her naked will add to the infatuation you have with her, but as I say, you are 14, so ... (read in full...)

I am an 18 year old female..slept with 15 guys since I was 14...Is that a lot of people for my age?

Q.   im 18 years old. iv slept with 15 guys. 6 were 1 nite stands i lost my virginity aged 14 4 were relationships I only used protection with 5 of these.The rest pulled out. Do u think that it is a lot of people for my age!!????I dont dare have a...

A.   11 November 2006: Yes it is a lot but whether I think its a lot or not makes no difference because what is the definition of a lot? 7, 8, 16 20?? I think for your age having already slept with with 5 men is a lot, but thats MY opinion, my sister on the other hand ... (read in full...)

Is it possible...for nerds to date the attractive girls?

Q.   I'm 19, I'm at university and I'm a nerd. I've never kissed a girl (proper kiss) in my life, let alone have sex with a girl, and when I go out with friends at night to clubs, I have very little chance of getting a date with a girl as I can't dance ...

A.   11 November 2006: Dont call yourself a nerd and do not ever think that you are not good enough for a pretty gitl. No one is better than anyone, dont think that just cos a girl is pretty that she is bette than you. Love yourself and love will follow. xXx... (read in full...)

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