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... Send *tina a private message | | | *tina's profile:Hi, I'm Stina! I've been an agony aunt here on Dear Cupid since July 2006 and became a site moderator the following November. I've not been able to be on here as much as I used to be, but that's because I've just started a new job. Hopefully I'll be able to be on here much more in the future. But for now, it's office work for me during the day!
Anyway, I grew up being very independent and because of that have always been able to work out problems in my life pretty well. My friends have often times come to me to help sort out what they should do in tough situations, as well. Hopefully I'll be able to help you out if you ever need advice, too! ^_^
As for who I "really" am - I'm 26, an atheist, and married. I live in beautiful Charm City, Murderland with my husband, our three hairless chinese crested pups (Ivy, Zoey, and Duncan), one smooshy floofhead dwarf hamster (Budgie; RIP Dr. Sushi T_T) and one huffy hedgehog (Nacho). I'm a quality assurance engineer and a graphic designer. My artwork has been shown all over the world including the US, France, Algeria, Australia and more. ^_^
I'm also addicted to cute animals, japanese pop culture, reggaeton, 80's hip hop and breakdancing (can't do it!, love to watch it!), experimental and avant garde films, food and tattoos (self designed).
If anyone cares to see a "real" picture of me, you can see one here: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com/profile (Check out my uber-cool snob nose! haha) I'm posting this in hopes that other aunts/uncles will post their pictures. I'm always interested to see what all of us actually looks like! ^_^
I have a myspace and a livejournal, so if you want to know anymore about me for some reason I'll post the links. (If you'd like to add me as a friend on either of these, please just message me here or on either site! I've made my accounts private to keep out the weirdos.)
Livejournal: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com |
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SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 15 October 2007: Hey Andrew,
I know that you have added this to a "wish list" for Dear Cupid, but I was just wondering what the status was for font alterations --
IYou said we will not be able to have linking capabilities in things such as our profiles, but wi... (read in full...)
Does splitting chores help the bond?
Q. ok is it a good idea to do things with my man like go do laundry together and stupid things that need done will this help our bond ...
A. 10 October 2007: Hello again,
Your new updated just popped up. What do you mean by "will it help him respect me?" What do you mean by that? In wha sense does he not respect you? I'm just wondering because maybe if we have more details, we can help out even fur... (read in full...)
Does splitting chores help the bond?
Q. ok is it a good idea to do things with my man like go do laundry together and stupid things that need done will this help our bond ...
A. 10 October 2007: Hi Anonymous,
Well, it depends on what the chores are and how well you each "like" to do them. For example, I hate vacumming (mainly because I have a bad back) so my husband will do that. He hates cleaning up after the dogs, so I'll do that (I'... (read in full...)
I told her how I felt about her and she rejected me. Now she says things that make me think otherwise! What do you think of her messages?
Q. This is a follow up to questions in the past. It is to give you a better idea of some of the things my gal is saying to me. We are both females. Soooo, I hope you can shed some light for me. I am in love with a friend of mine. However she is m...
A. 10 October 2007: Hi Kelsi,
I wonder if your friend is just really confused about her feelings at the moment because of what is happening between her and her husband. She may very well be interested in you, but the first thought that came to mind was that she is r... (read in full...)
Should I have sanctioned my girl to sleep with another guy?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm very upset just now. My girlfriend has left me, because she thought that our relationship was getting too serious, when we're such a young age. She did this, just over 4 months ago. Just before that time, she had planned to go on...
A. 10 October 2007: Hi Anonymous,
There's no reason why she would have *needed* to sleep with another guy in the bed. Wasn't there another girl going who could have swapped bed partners? Or couldn't someone sleep on the floor or a couch or get a cot from the fron... (read in full...)
I might be an engineer, but how do I avoid infidelity?
Q. I'm going to be graduating this year with a civil engineering degree. I will probably end up becoming a chartered engineer but i'm in a dilemma. I would like to travel and work but i also would like to et married and have children. But that's t...
A. 10 October 2007: Hello Anonymous,
There are no guarantees in any relationship regardless of your profession and how frequently you are on travel. Some people will cheat 10 minutes after seeing their partners and some will never ever cheat for their entire l... (read in full...)
Should he stop texting girls just because I asked him to?
Q. i got my boyfriends phone and read his texts. he was sending dirty texts to some girls. i know i invaded his privacy but i need help. he says that's just the way he has always talked to them. i told him i didn't like it and don't want him doing it. ...
A. 10 October 2007: Hi there twinkie,
In my opinion, once someone is in a relationship, all of the dirty talk should be reserved for each other. I think what he is doing is disrespectful, as well. The problem is that he doesn't think anything is wrong with it.
H... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Big milestone..... over 300,000 unique visitors over the past month :-)
Q. Cool... Over the past month, from Sept 8th to Oct 9th we had over 300,000 unique visitors to the site! According to google analytics we had 302,516 visitors. It doesn't seem that long ago I was posting when we had passed 250,000 visitors/month. ...
A. 9 October 2007: Awesome, Andrew! I'm sure there will be no problems with reaching 500,000 in 2008...I'm thinking that there will even be more than that, honestly. ^_^... (read in full...)
I've handed in my notice because my lover was also my co-worker... but I love my job and I'm terrified I'll cry on my last day!
Q. i handed in my notice at work last week because i split up with my partner and we work in the same place. i'm working until i'm replaced, which'll probably be 3 or 4 weeks now. thing is, i'm dreading leaving. i love my job. i'm especially dreading ...
A. 6 October 2007: Wow! It sounds like you're really on the ball with things. I'm really happy to hear that things seem to be looking up for you. It's wonderful that your ex's sister will be able to look after the kids for a bit. It's also great news that you ... (read in full...)
I've handed in my notice because my lover was also my co-worker... but I love my job and I'm terrified I'll cry on my last day!
Q. i handed in my notice at work last week because i split up with my partner and we work in the same place. i'm working until i'm replaced, which'll probably be 3 or 4 weeks now. thing is, i'm dreading leaving. i love my job. i'm especially dreading ...
A. 5 October 2007: Hi there anonymous,
Geez, that's a let down about the guy not really having a positive response to you wanting to continue your career path there. And I can't believe that he said he needs you both to behave maturely or you need to go. That jus... (read in full...)
Boys will be boys: My boyfriend has serious hygiene issues! How can I bring this up to him?
Q. I have been in a relationship with my partner (whom i have a 3month old baby with) for nearly 4 years now. Since the beginning I noticed I would have to mention to him to bathe, brush his teeth, etc, as I noticed he would simply not do these things. ...
A. 5 October 2007: Hey Anonymous,
I would just tell him how you feel straight up, but break it to him gently so you don't hurt his feelings. The real issue here revolves around health, so that should be the main focus on your talk with him. Don't be embarass... (read in full...)
Is being a gay/bi dad such a harsh thing for a kid?
Q. Hmmm. I'll be straight to the point. I'm male 17. I'm bisexual and obviously i like both men and women. I'm keeping an open mind to marry a guy or a girl in the future. I'd like to know how people would react to having a gay father or being ma...
A. 5 October 2007: Well, let me elaborate on what I mean by "it will not phase them." I mean that they will be used to it themselves, but in time they will realize that there are not a lot of other families that have two parents who are the same sex. You'll have to ... (read in full...)
Is being a gay/bi dad such a harsh thing for a kid?
Q. Hmmm. I'll be straight to the point. I'm male 17. I'm bisexual and obviously i like both men and women. I'm keeping an open mind to marry a guy or a girl in the future. I'd like to know how people would react to having a gay father or being ma...
A. 5 October 2007: Hi aim,
I think that if a child grows up in an environment with both parents being of the same sex, it will not even phase them. The only thing that may happen is that other kids may make nasty comments - but they're probably going to make nas... (read in full...)
I think he bought the new computer just to look for porn! He's trying to hide what he does, but I found out. I feel betrayed!
Q. I know you have heard this a thousand times before. I have just discovered tha my partner has been looking for porn. I know that guys do this sometimes, but what is really scaring me is I think he has set up a separate profile on our computer and ...
A. 5 October 2007: Hi Anonymous,
Adding onto what Dr Pete said, sometimes when people visit sites to download music or movies - like a bit torrent site - things can get downloaded onto your computer without you even realizing it. I know that's happened to me befor... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend that I showed another guy my nipple ring?
Q. Dear Cupid I have been going out with my adoreable boyfriend for nearly a year now and things are brilliant however, I tend to get a bit too drunk when i am out with my girlfriends and last weekend I showed some random guy my nipple ring. ...
A. 5 October 2007: Hi Claudette,
Well, it's not like you cheated...but people in relationships don't typically expose themselves to others. This is really your call whether or not you tell your boyfriend.
Personally, if it were me, I would say something. And ... (read in full...)
She is Bi polar and won't accept it.
Q. Is it wrong for a married man to ask a younger female worker if she is interested(she has just been divorced)?The female in the marriage is Bi-Polar and wont accept her condition....
A. 5 October 2007: Hi berti1151, If you two have an open marriage, then there is nothing wrong with that. But if you don't, then it would be considered cheating. What do you mean that your wife is not accepting that she's bipolar? Has she been to the do... (read in full...)
He wanted a baby with his ex-wife... Why doesn't he want one with me???
Q. Im 19, I moved out of my parents and I now live with my boyfriend who is 37. I know there’s an age difference but it works for us. Iv dated my boyfriend for a year and a half but iv known him for over 2 years. I feel that the time is right for us ...
A. 5 October 2007: Hi again anonymous,
I was thinking about including this in my email last night, but decided not to...just because I didn't want you to take it the wrong way! But I think I'm going to make the suggestion, anyway.
Sorry if this sounds stupid, b... (read in full...)
He wanted a baby with his ex-wife... Why doesn't he want one with me???
Q. Im 19, I moved out of my parents and I now live with my boyfriend who is 37. I know there’s an age difference but it works for us. Iv dated my boyfriend for a year and a half but iv known him for over 2 years. I feel that the time is right for us ...
A. 5 October 2007: Well it seems like you're definitly prepared when it comes to understanding and knowing how to care for children properly! ^_^
I guess you'll just have to wait until your boyfriend is ready - as hard as that might be. Until then, maybe just rea... (read in full...)
He wanted a baby with his ex-wife... Why doesn't he want one with me???
Q. Im 19, I moved out of my parents and I now live with my boyfriend who is 37. I know there’s an age difference but it works for us. Iv dated my boyfriend for a year and a half but iv known him for over 2 years. I feel that the time is right for us ...
A. 4 October 2007: Hi there anonymous,
The first thing that came to mind is that maybe your guy does not want to have a baby with you - not because of YOU - but because he just want through loads of drama with trying to have a baby already. Perhaps he's not emot... (read in full...)
I'm hanging out my my crush tomorrow even though I have a bf! I don't know what to do!
Q. Okay guys, I love this sight for your answers to my questions - Now PLEASE Help!!!! Okay, today I was in a store with my mom and I saw my friend whom I haven't seen in a VERY long time and in that duration of long time, we both had a thing for each...
A. 4 October 2007: Hello there,
Sorry - I didn't check this until now - I usually follow up on responses by original posters, but since you're not registered I didn't know.
You said "Stina your comment actually really hurt me." Sorry. What about it hurt yo... (read in full...)
I lied to my girlfriend about my age. How can I tell her the truth without losing her?
Q. what has age difference got to do with marrage? i am a man at 24, but all through my life i have been making friends with people who are older than i am, and now i want to get married, and the girl i have fallen in love with is five years older th...
A. 4 October 2007: Hello there,
You've asked "what has age difference got to do with marrage?" Nothing. But honesty and communication has everything to do with it.
Tell your partner your real age. And be prepared for her to be possibly angry and upset, not b... (read in full...)
I want to divorce my wife and marry her sister
Q. i had a chance to be with and tell my wife's sister that i am in love with her, but didn't. know i feel depressed and feel i've missed out on opportunity to be with someone that i have fallen in love with and love with all my heart. My wife and i ...
A. 4 October 2007: Hello Anonymous,
You say that marriage counseling is not working, but I have a feeling that it's not working because you do not want it to work. From your post, you seem so "blah" about your wife, but it's like you have put her sister up on a ped... (read in full...)
I'm curious about the "party" my BF went to.
Q. Hallo everyone! My BF went for this B-party in a Hotel Room in New York city with 15 other guys this saturday. Didn't directly tell me what happened over there, except, that he didn't do anything wrong that would hurt me ... and that he didn't c...
A. 4 October 2007: Hi Anonymous,
It really depends on the kinds of girls that were hired to be there. I know of cases where girls have just taken off their tops, and cases where they've straddled a guy and he's taken a lollipop out of her cooch with his mouth (e... (read in full...)
I've handed in my notice because my lover was also my co-worker... but I love my job and I'm terrified I'll cry on my last day!
Q. i handed in my notice at work last week because i split up with my partner and we work in the same place. i'm working until i'm replaced, which'll probably be 3 or 4 weeks now. thing is, i'm dreading leaving. i love my job. i'm especially dreading ...
A. 4 October 2007: Hello again Anonymous,
Well, that does change things just a bit. But I still think that it's not a wise decision to leave if you are already unhappy with your decision to find another job. It's very hard to find a place that actually has a go... (read in full...)
I feel this older woman is trying to compete with me regarding clothes, hairstyles... and it's irritating!
Q. I stated working in my dad's company beginning of this year and all was good until this woman who is 6 years older than me started trying to compete with me. I thought i was the only one who noticed but the other ladies at work told me as well. ...
A. 4 October 2007: Hi there Amandalee,
Honestly, the first thing that I thought of was that this woman may be lonely and looking for a friend. Perhaps by adopting your styles as her own, she would be able to have you identify with her more.
Have you tried talkin... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's sex drive has gone!
Q. hey, my girlfriend and i have been dating for 3 years...on and off, but she doesnt have a sex drive anymore. nothing at all, and she gets mad at me when i hint off or tell her that im still taking interest in you, and i want you etc etc also, on ...
A. 3 October 2007: Hey there Memorize,
Is she on any birth control by any chance? Many forms of bc are known for their terrible effects on a woman's libido. I've been on many forms of the pill, the patch and the ring - ALL of them stopped me from wanting to do AN... (read in full...)
I cheated on my fiance with a guy we both use to work with
Q. I cheated on my fiance with a guy we both use to work with. My fiance and I are no longer together. I am no longer working with the guy I cheated with. My ex fiance is also no longer working there. I really like this other guy a lot. So my ...
A. 3 October 2007: Hello Anonymous,
I'm guessing you don't have friendly relations with your ex fiance? If you do, you could ask him how he would feel about it. (But I think you probably already know the answer to that!)
Have you spoken with the guy you're t... (read in full...)
We started dating, then I had to leave the country. I stopped calling in hopes that she would move on! What else can I do?
Q. Well, I got to know this girl through dating another girl - and she helped me through this huge breakup and became a huge friend of mine - and she fell for me i dont know since when but she gave me her hand to hold and even told me she was in love ...
A. 3 October 2007: Hello again,
I think that you need to find a way to contact your girlfriend and let her know what you're thinking in terms of where the relationship is heading.
If you two want to stay together, perhaps it's possible for her to travel to meet y... (read in full...)
Is it embarrasing catching the bus in front of the boy you have a crush on?
Q. Every night after school I walk up out of school to catch the bus home and the guy I have a crush on walks with me to the bus stop. But then I have to get on the bus and he continues walking home with his friends. I find it really embarassibng ...
A. 3 October 2007: Hi Anonymous,
I used to be embarassed to ride the bus, too. I couldn't wait until I could drive or until I could catch a ride with a friend.
But the truth is that, looking back on everything, I was too worried thinking about what a nerd I mu... (read in full...)
13 years of marriage, she tells me now about a one night stand before we got together.
Q. I'm totally freaked out. My wife of 13 years just admitted that a few days prior to our getting together she had a one night stand(drunk) with a high school friend of ours who she barely knew. She has NEVER told me this even though we dated for 4 ...
A. 3 October 2007: Hello Tex,
Another view from a staunch feminist, here.
From reading your posts, I can tell that you're obviously very angry. (That's one of the reasons I'm not going to address your ignorant outbursts anymore than this one note.)
Okay, ... (read in full...)
We started dating, then I had to leave the country. I stopped calling in hopes that she would move on! What else can I do?
Q. Well, I got to know this girl through dating another girl - and she helped me through this huge breakup and became a huge friend of mine - and she fell for me i dont know since when but she gave me her hand to hold and even told me she was in love ...
A. 3 October 2007: Hi Anonymous,
If you feel like things just are not working out for the both of you, you should really tell your girlfriend. I know if my partner just stopped calling me, I'd feel like crap and wonder what in the heck was going on. And if you d... (read in full...)
I've handed in my notice because my lover was also my co-worker... but I love my job and I'm terrified I'll cry on my last day!
Q. i handed in my notice at work last week because i split up with my partner and we work in the same place. i'm working until i'm replaced, which'll probably be 3 or 4 weeks now. thing is, i'm dreading leaving. i love my job. i'm especially dreading ...
A. 3 October 2007: Hello Anonymous,
Why are you leaving your job and letting your ex, of all people, dictate what you do with your entire future?! Please, please, please rethink this! You have a choice in this matter - it's not up to your ex. (And this is what ... (read in full...)
I don't find traditionaly beautiful women attractive. Whats so wrong with that?
Q. I am a college student in a long term relationship with a beautiful girl... we've been together for around 4 years now. I would like some feedback for a situation that so far I have found unique to me. I have had other girlfriends before her but s...
A. 2 October 2007: Hi Anonymous,
Your friends sound like jerks (on more levels than just one). Just try to ignore them when they make fun of you or anything like that. If they don't stop, maybe you should find new friends. Seriously, the nerve of some people. ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 2 October 2007: Yay! ^_^ Thanks, Andrew!... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea when we marry to have our own bank accounts and have a joint account intended for all of our household budgets/emergency purposes?
Q. im in a relationship for a year now, my bf is great, he is intelligent and very responsible. One night while we're having dinner in a restaurant by the beach we've talked about bank accounts, anyway were both had a good salary from our works. the ...
A. 28 September 2007: Hi Anonymous,
My husband and I have our own accounts and do not have any joint accounts. Other people have told us to have a joint account, but this way is working just fine for the both of us.
This is how it works for us: one month I'll pay t... (read in full...)
My bf and I are on break since last week. I've met a new, older man who is a family friend - should I spend the night with him?
Q. Im 18, and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (21) for nearly 18 months, i love him very much and i rely on him, as i am not close to anyone in my family, i havent got a job at the moment, as i finished my A-Levels in June and now am ...
A. 28 September 2007: Hi there BlueEyes, Right now you're at a very emotional state because of what is happening between you and your boyfriend. While the thought of being with another person may sound like a good idea at the moment, what do you think you'll feel like... (read in full...)
He's the best bf I've dated, but I can't get over our 2 year age gap!
Q. Dear Cupid i have a boyfriend who is 2 years younger then me. im not really comfortable with that age gap but he always make sure we don't let that come between us. out of all the guys i'v dated, he tops them all and he always remains me of his...
A. 28 September 2007: Hello Anonymous,
What about the two year age gap makes you uncomfortable? Can you explain a little further? Is it because of something that *you* feel, or is it because people are poking fun at you for dating someone younger?
If you two ge... (read in full...)
How can I tell my mom I'm not a virgin without freaking her out?
Q. how do u tell your mom who is a massive freaking out person that there 15year old daughter isnt a virgin?...
A. 28 September 2007: Hello no1,
Unless you need your mom's help with getting birth control or anything along those lines, you really don't have to tell her about your sex life. Someone's sex life is supposed to be private and saying anything about it - unless y... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 28 September 2007: ...and, of course, we wrote at the same time so a lot of my questions/comments were probably addressed in your last post!
But I just thought of something else, believe it or not! Is it possible to change your password on your account? I know tha... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 28 September 2007: Hi there Andrew,
I think it would be good if we could get some more active moderators signed up to help out with the HUGE amount of questions and answers that have been pouring in recently. It's like the site has exploded all of a sudden! ... (read in full...)
I'm hanging out my my crush tomorrow even though I have a bf! I don't know what to do!
Q. Okay guys, I love this sight for your answers to my questions - Now PLEASE Help!!!! Okay, today I was in a store with my mom and I saw my friend whom I haven't seen in a VERY long time and in that duration of long time, we both had a thing for each...
A. 27 September 2007: Hello Anonymous,
Why are you hanging out with your crush if you have a boyfriend? Did you tell your boyfrien that you'll be hanging out with this other guy? If not, why? Because you think it may lead to your boyfriend getting upset? Because ... (read in full...)
Can long term friends become lovers?
Q. Dear cupid, do you think long term friends can become lovers? ...
A. 26 September 2007: Hello again,
You say that her life is out of control, but does she feel that way? The reason I'm asking is because you can't "force" a person to change if they are content with the way things are going.
But, what you can do is be there for her... (read in full...)
I'm 40 something, can I successfully date two men?
Q. Is it possible for a forty something year old women to successfully date two different men?...
A. 26 September 2007: Hello Lor,
Only if you are in open relationships with both of them and they know that you are dating other people. As long as everyone is free to date who they like, when they like, and are okay with that style of dating, then it should be okay.... (read in full...)
Can long term friends become lovers?
Q. Dear cupid, do you think long term friends can become lovers? ...
A. 25 September 2007: Hello Happyorsad,
It really depends on the people, the situation (if they're already in relationships, their feelings for one another, etc.) and so many other factors. So in some cases, it's possible, but in others it is not.
I guess to an... (read in full...)
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