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... Send *tina a private message | | | *tina's profile:Hi, I'm Stina! I've been an agony aunt here on Dear Cupid since July 2006 and became a site moderator the following November. I've not been able to be on here as much as I used to be, but that's because I've just started a new job. Hopefully I'll be able to be on here much more in the future. But for now, it's office work for me during the day!
Anyway, I grew up being very independent and because of that have always been able to work out problems in my life pretty well. My friends have often times come to me to help sort out what they should do in tough situations, as well. Hopefully I'll be able to help you out if you ever need advice, too! ^_^
As for who I "really" am - I'm 26, an atheist, and married. I live in beautiful Charm City, Murderland with my husband, our three hairless chinese crested pups (Ivy, Zoey, and Duncan), one smooshy floofhead dwarf hamster (Budgie; RIP Dr. Sushi T_T) and one huffy hedgehog (Nacho). I'm a quality assurance engineer and a graphic designer. My artwork has been shown all over the world including the US, France, Algeria, Australia and more. ^_^
I'm also addicted to cute animals, japanese pop culture, reggaeton, 80's hip hop and breakdancing (can't do it!, love to watch it!), experimental and avant garde films, food and tattoos (self designed).
If anyone cares to see a "real" picture of me, you can see one here: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com/profile (Check out my uber-cool snob nose! haha) I'm posting this in hopes that other aunts/uncles will post their pictures. I'm always interested to see what all of us actually looks like! ^_^
I have a myspace and a livejournal, so if you want to know anymore about me for some reason I'll post the links. (If you'd like to add me as a friend on either of these, please just message me here or on either site! I've made my accounts private to keep out the weirdos.)
Livejournal: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com |
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Is he right or just using me??
Q. Im seperated from my husband and i have 3 children.I have been seeing my lover for over 3 years but he has a partner (he's not married to her.They live seperate lives and sleep in seperate bedrooms as she is alot older then him and doesn't want sex ...
A. 30 October 2006: Hello again Anon,
Well it sounds like he made the break up revolve all around him and how he's feeling. Doesn't really sound like he tried to view things from your angle - just got defensive. I'm glad to hear that you are moving on and it seems... (read in full...)
Is he right or just using me??
Q. Im seperated from my husband and i have 3 children.I have been seeing my lover for over 3 years but he has a partner (he's not married to her.They live seperate lives and sleep in seperate bedrooms as she is alot older then him and doesn't want sex ...
A. 26 October 2006: Hey Anon,
(You're not bothering me! :) )
You asked, "...Is he really using me..." Well lets think about this:
- He still lives with his partner
- He would feel guilty for leaving her
- He wants to wait 10+ years to involve your children
... (read in full...)
Is he right or just using me??
Q. Im seperated from my husband and i have 3 children.I have been seeing my lover for over 3 years but he has a partner (he's not married to her.They live seperate lives and sleep in seperate bedrooms as she is alot older then him and doesn't want sex ...
A. 26 October 2006: Hello again, Anon. :) I'm glad that you found my advice helpful.
I was thinking more about this and was wondering if your lover's partner has any idea that he is seeing you? If not - if they're supposed to be in an exclusive relation... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my affair who only calls me when he wants something!
Q. I have been having an affair for the past year, and I fell in love with the man. He was most romantic and he made me feel beautiful. After a while he asked me to buy him a reel which he could not afford. I bought it for him, but told him that he ...
A. 25 October 2006: Hi Serene,
I would use this experience as a lesson. If you take this to small claims court (which I think isn't even worth the trouble), then they would more than likely dismiss the case as a he-said/she-said thing. Unless you have somethin... (read in full...)
Am I average height and weight for a 16 year old?
Q. hi can anyone tell me the average weight for a 16 year old. iam 136 pounds and 5feet 8 inches. is this normal?...
A. 24 October 2006: Hi Anon,
That sounds normal to me, but some websites I looked at jsut now said you are a bit on the skinny side. But everyone is different. I think if you really want to know, you should ask your doctor. Since he knows your medical history,... (read in full...)
We still love each other the only reason we broke up was his anger issues!!!
Q. Me and my boyfriend of a a year broke up over the weekend. He came over last night, just because I had some quetions that I needed answer so I could accept it and move on. However.. all we got out of it was that we still love eachother, and the ...
A. 24 October 2006: Hello Anonymous,
I think seeing a therapist or going to anger management sessions/classes would be a very good idea for him. He would learn how to deal with his anger in other ways rather than direct it at you. It would not only benefit him thro... (read in full...)
I want to ask this girl to the school dance but unsure whether my mate is thinking the same!!!
Q. hi! there seems to be a trouble with me a friend. i want to ask this girl to the school dance but i think that he does aswell. i haven't said anything to him. he begins to act all strangely around her. he seems to be unsure and slightly nervous...
A. 24 October 2006: Hello Anon,
If I were in your position, I would be a little worried that I might upset my friend by asking this girl to the dance. Perhaps you could just mention in passing that you're going to ask her to the dance and see what his reaction... (read in full...)
My brother won't stop making fun of me...how can I make him stop???
Q. I am 20 years old, and I have a 36-year-old brother who really likes to pick on me and make fun of me, especially when he thinks that I can't hear him, and I really can, even if I ask him to stop. In fact, my other two brothers can't stand him ...
A. 24 October 2006: Hello Anon,
I'm sorry to hear that you're having this sort of problem. I'm wondering if it's because your brother is jealous for whatever reason over you and your other siblings. There could be many different reasons for his behavior, though. ... (read in full...)
He said he was busy with his mates and when I did see him he has a love bite on his neck!!!
Q. I have been seeing this guy for 2 weeks and everything was going really well, i didnt see him at the weekend as he said he was busy with his mates. When i saw him yesterday he had a love bite on his neck which is not mine. I asked him about him and ...
A. 24 October 2006: Hi Watix,
Well it doesn't take a second to get a love bite, you know? He should have pushed her away much sooner than he did. I think it's rather strange that he doesn't want to leave his phone near you. Not that you should be going through ... (read in full...)
My daughters boyfriend now thinks we hate him when he couldn't be more wrong!!!
Q. My daughter has been seeing her boyfriend for just over a year. My husband and I love him. Recently they had a bump in their relationship, but seemed to have gotten over it. While my daughter was hurting, I was there to listen to her, trying to be ...
A. 24 October 2006: Hi Anon,
Because this is a delicate situation and you don't want to make her boyfriend feel uncomfortable, I think childof1981 has a great idea. Remember, most times actions speak louder than words. I think this is one of those times. Somethin... (read in full...)
Is he right or just using me??
Q. Im seperated from my husband and i have 3 children.I have been seeing my lover for over 3 years but he has a partner (he's not married to her.They live seperate lives and sleep in seperate bedrooms as she is alot older then him and doesn't want sex ...
A. 24 October 2006: "can i just say one thing though,he didn't get on with his partner's children and they are grown up now and he's never had children himself" I have to ask a question - does it really matter how he treats his partner's children? Would it matter if ... (read in full...)
She is ill but I feel she is being unfair and selfish on me!!!
Q. My best friend suffers from cancer ans she's under treatment, She is from a village and has a flat in my town. She is very nice but she is very messy about time or dates arrrives late,changes appointments or asks me for her to buy take away food ...
A. 24 October 2006: Hi Astrid,
I agree with Ponun - don't let her abuse your friendship because she's ill. Maybe try talking with her about how you feel. Just because she has cancer doesn't mean you should drop everything you're doing in your life. Does she have... (read in full...)
Should I arrange to meet up with the ex again or will I be risking heartache?
Q. Do I arrange to see my ex? I am about to move back to the area I happily lived in for 5 years with my ex. I originally moved away when he left me because it was so sad being there without him but I actually missed my "home" as I've grown to see it. ...
A. 24 October 2006: Hi Anon,
It sounds like you would really like to do this. If you need closure, then I think it's a good idea. If you don't get what you're looking for after you meet up with him, then you'll be no worse off than you are now, right? I think yo... (read in full...)
He just makes me so angry with the way he is behaving!!!
Q. Last night I was fighting with my boyfriend because i'm trying to tell him that i'm so annoyed at him because everytime he's in college he does not answer his phone. He knows I don't trust him because he's lied to me about things in the past and I ...
A. 24 October 2006: have a spelling error correction from my last post: "then maybe it's because he was being stubborn to *begin* with " I really have to start reading these over before I post. sorry!!... (read in full...)
He just makes me so angry with the way he is behaving!!!
Q. Last night I was fighting with my boyfriend because i'm trying to tell him that i'm so annoyed at him because everytime he's in college he does not answer his phone. He knows I don't trust him because he's lied to me about things in the past and I ...
A. 24 October 2006: Hello Ivanna,
It seems like your boyfriend doesn't value the relationship in the least bit. If he did, he would *want* to call you more frequently, he would *want* to try and pick you up if his schedule allowed, he would *want* to see you on y... (read in full...)
He is the best boyfriend in everyway apart from helping pull his weight regarding bills!!!
Q. I am still crazy in love with my ex boyfriend. I think about him all the time and when i see him it's like no time has passed between us. He is the best lover I ever had, he is nurturing and gentle and took care of me in everyway except pulling ...
A. 24 October 2006: Hi Cleopatra,
If you *both* want this relationship to work, then I think that your ex needs to see a professional to get over his gambling problem. You also need to stop giving him money. If you two get back together, you need to plan a budget a... (read in full...)
Do you think my teacher really liked me or was just flirty???
Q. Hi! Im fourteen and I had a teacher that seemed to really like me. He always looked at me, would always stop in the corridors and talk to me,and he seemed very flirty around me. He was my teacher last year and I was kinda attracted to him but he t...
A. 24 October 2006: Hi Anon,
Are you sure he wasn't just being a friendly person? Either way, it doesn't matter since having feelings for a teacher will only lead to a dead end. Teacher/student relations could lead to him getting fired. I know it's not the answ... (read in full...)
I want to know if Dear Cupid is a free chat room service or not!!!
Q. I want to know if the Dear Cupid is a "Free" chat Room Service or not. ...
A. 24 October 2006: Hi Serene,
Adding onto what shania said, there is a forums section. but that's the closest i think you're going to get to dc having a chat room.... (read in full...)
He hugs me then acts like I don't exist! This guy has me confused...any advice?
Q. Hi, I am a 21 year old and I have never really had a serious boyfriend - surprisingly. But I seem to have found someone I really, really like. Well, first of all let me explain. I ran into my old, old guy friend at where I used to work, then I ...
A. 23 October 2006: Hello Love,
This guy is acting really strange. The only thing that I can think of is that he might feel smothered. But then again, it doesn't sound like you guys hang out a lot.
Maybe he's not ready for a committed relationship. P... (read in full...)
Is he right or just using me??
Q. Im seperated from my husband and i have 3 children.I have been seeing my lover for over 3 years but he has a partner (he's not married to her.They live seperate lives and sleep in seperate bedrooms as she is alot older then him and doesn't want sex ...
A. 23 October 2006: Hello Anon,
The other woman aside, do you really want to be with a man who can't - or, excuse me, - who *won't* accept your children? Won't that be a bit difficult in the future for things like birthdays, holidays, or even plain old visits f... (read in full...)
I've resenting found out he has registered on a site to meet a shemale!!!
Q. I have been married for 3 years and have two young children. We have a very happy marriage and I know that my husband loves me however i have recently discovered that he has been registering on certain websites in order to meet a 'shemale'. Having ...
A. 22 October 2006: Hi Anon,
If I were you, I would confront your husband. You may have been snooping, but were there reasons you felt you had to do so? Had you tried talking to him about problems in your relationship earlier? If you felt that you didn't get a tr... (read in full...)
I went out with some friends now I'm getting emails from a guy that says he danced with me that night!!!!
Q. I sometimes go out clubbing on a friday /saturday night with 1 of my friends, but anyway i recieved an email back a few days ago and it said " i danced with u in town one night" from a male from the singles who click site. And i dont know this ...
A. 22 October 2006: Oh, I just realized that 'singles who click' is a web dating site. Well, I would still ask your friends if they recognize him. If they don't, then I wouldn't talk to this guy unless you're really cautious and don't really talk about personal stuff ... (read in full...)
I went out with some friends now I'm getting emails from a guy that says he danced with me that night!!!!
Q. I sometimes go out clubbing on a friday /saturday night with 1 of my friends, but anyway i recieved an email back a few days ago and it said " i danced with u in town one night" from a male from the singles who click site. And i dont know this ...
A. 22 October 2006: hello anon,
maybe one of your friends would recognize him. but if they don't, then i'd ignore him. if you see him in person sometime later, then maybe you two can talk. but yeah, in my opinion it does sounds a bit creepy.
if you do end up ta... (read in full...)
Im going to give her the ultimatum, its me or the friend!!!!
Q. PLIZ HELP!!!follow up to the earlier question about my girlfriend and male friend. You see I've already approached her and asked for moderation of the relationship between her friend, but shortly after she's saying I miss you to the guy, saw the ...
A. 22 October 2006: "stina the female writer must learn to respect other writers' answers and replies and for her to make sarcastic unwanted remarks is uncalled for."
I don't really understand if you meant that I was the one who was being sarcastic (there was miss... (read in full...)
My guy always dyes his hair outrageous colours and it's embarrassing. Am I being shallow?
Q. I'm in my 40's and have been dating this guy (my age) who plans to dye his hair a crazy color - from dark to bleached blonde or blue or bright red. He used to do this a lot. I'm a professional and to be honest would be embarrassed to take him to ...
A. 20 October 2006: Er, "water cooler talk." I don't know who really hangs out by the water fountains. I know it's an unimportant mistake, but I still felt the need to correct myself. lol... (read in full...)
My guy always dyes his hair outrageous colours and it's embarrassing. Am I being shallow?
Q. I'm in my 40's and have been dating this guy (my age) who plans to dye his hair a crazy color - from dark to bleached blonde or blue or bright red. He used to do this a lot. I'm a professional and to be honest would be embarrassed to take him to ...
A. 20 October 2006: Hi Anon,
I don't think you should let this bother you. Why do *his* actions embarass *you*? Because you don't want *other* people talking about you and him? Why does it matter when what really counts is how he acts toward you.
Why throw awa... (read in full...)
He's been violent and cheated and just treats me real bad in general!
Q. bin with me partner 5 years i was 17 him 25, bin pregnant 10 times have 2 kids. he has been violent and cheated and hes just a twat in general.doesnt have the kids never done the night feeds and doesnt class what i do with the kids as being work. ...
A. 20 October 2006: Hello Stumped,
You need to get out of this "relationship" and living situation as soon as possible. It is extremely unhealthy for you and your children to have to deal with someone like this on a regular basis.
Do you have relatives that y... (read in full...)
How can I stop her shaving? I prefered it how it was when we first met!
Q. how can i stop my wife shaveing her bush? i've tryed everything even told her i will leave i hate her being so smooth.....i wish she would have a nice thick hairy bush like she had when we first meat.......
A. 20 October 2006: what the heck? is this real? dude, this is *her* special area. if you would leave her for that, then she deserves better anyway!... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend's brother have a "crush" on me or am I paranoid? How do I handle this?
Q. Does my boyfriend's brother have a "crush" on me or am I paranoid? Ok, Here's some background: I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 6 years now- and he is my first real love. There are definate issues in the relationship, ones that I have been...
A. 20 October 2006: Hey Sarah,
Sounds like a plan. I'm sure it will all work out for you, especially since you sound so caring. I'm sure you'll handle it just fine. Take care! :)... (read in full...)
He said he doesn't get much time off but took my number...was he just being friendly?
Q. I met this guy,i've seen him a few times and he he is always talking to me,he works at a club i go to,well yesterday i saw him again and before i went home,he said i suppose your off home to your husband or boyfriend now,so i knew he was fishing to ...
A. 20 October 2006: Hello Anon,
Since I don't know this guy, it's hard to say. But it's a good sign if he was the one who asked you if you were attached first! :)
Take care.... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he want to take things further?
Q. me an my boyfriend do most things but oral and intercourse what is stopping him from having sex with me. we have been dating 3 months...
A. 20 October 2006: Hi Anon,
He just doesn't feel the time is right for him. Everyone feels differently about when they feel it's good for them to go all the way. Just give him his space and try not to pressure him. If you "force" him to have sex with you, the... (read in full...)
Im going to give her the ultimatum, its me or the friend!!!!
Q. PLIZ HELP!!!follow up to the earlier question about my girlfriend and male friend. You see I've already approached her and asked for moderation of the relationship between her friend, but shortly after she's saying I miss you to the guy, saw the ...
A. 20 October 2006: as stated by anonymous below: "you need to know and hear from your gf that this relationship is between you and her only"
dude, his girlfriend did tell him that - she said the guy was her friend.
"love = respect" EXACTLY.
look, you've al... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend's brother have a "crush" on me or am I paranoid? How do I handle this?
Q. Does my boyfriend's brother have a "crush" on me or am I paranoid? Ok, Here's some background: I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 6 years now- and he is my first real love. There are definate issues in the relationship, ones that I have been...
A. 20 October 2006: PS - I'd stop joking and talking about sex and sexual things for a while, too.... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend's brother have a "crush" on me or am I paranoid? How do I handle this?
Q. Does my boyfriend's brother have a "crush" on me or am I paranoid? Ok, Here's some background: I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 6 years now- and he is my first real love. There are definate issues in the relationship, ones that I have been...
A. 20 October 2006: Hi Sarah,
Oh, I see what you mean now.
I wouldn't necessarily tell your boyfriend just yet. So far, it seems like this boy has only done things while he's drunk and nothing even happened.
If you feel comfortable with the brother otherwi... (read in full...)
After lying at first, my wife admitted to having lunch with a guy from work. Should I trust her in that nothing is going on?
Q. One day my (attractive) wife and I planned on lunch at her work's cafeteria. She cancelled. A friend of mine at her work told me she had lunch with a bigshot in the company. He asked her out to a lavish restaurant. It was odd because she only has 30 ...
A. 19 October 2006: Hello Anon,
If getting another job is an option at this point, then I agree with Frank. However, that would only be cutting off that particular relationship, right?
And, like Frank, I think that what you need to do is find out what's really go... (read in full...)
Im going to give her the ultimatum, its me or the friend!!!!
Q. PLIZ HELP!!!follow up to the earlier question about my girlfriend and male friend. You see I've already approached her and asked for moderation of the relationship between her friend, but shortly after she's saying I miss you to the guy, saw the ...
A. 19 October 2006: Hey,
I found some info that you might want to read over from a newlywed magazine (obviously I know that you two are just dating, though.) I thought it might be of additional help.
(http://www.t... (read in full...)
Are you single? Please reply here!
Q. Hi everyone Andrew, site guy here.. Just doing a poll to see how many visitors to the site are SINGLE and would be interested in a (free, of course) DearCupid dating service. Just reply to this post. Thanks! A....
A. 19 October 2006: Hi Andrew,
I'm not single, but I thought I would leave feedback anyway. I don't really think a dating service is quite what dear cupid is about, right? I mean, people can already pm each other and post on their profiles if they're single o... (read in full...)
Im going to give her the ultimatum, its me or the friend!!!!
Q. PLIZ HELP!!!follow up to the earlier question about my girlfriend and male friend. You see I've already approached her and asked for moderation of the relationship between her friend, but shortly after she's saying I miss you to the guy, saw the ...
A. 19 October 2006: Anon,
No, you're not on the right track. It seems like you have a problem with insecurity that needs to be addressed. Have you tried counseling? Did something happen that makes you not want to trust people?
Just remember, if you break up wit... (read in full...)
Bf of six has parents who won't accept me! He refuses to tell them we are dating. What should I do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for six years, and his parents dont accept me because I come from latin america, and we are now living together and he refuses to tell his parents. I feel very bad cause I feel he doesnt want to stand up for me? when ...
A. 19 October 2006: Hi Anon,
This man doesn't respect you or his relationship with you. The way I feel about relationships is that you care about that person more than anyone else in the world. There comes a time when a bond with the parent should become less tha... (read in full...)
Update on why the unhappily married man asked me for "a happy ending'. Advice appreciated
Q. p. Don't forget the happy ending ! Your readers asked for more background into why an unhappily married man had sent me a letter asking me for a happy ending . The answer ....he was my Doctor and I was temporarily his patient when I had glandula...
A. 19 October 2006: Hello Anon,
If he's married, then doing anything with him is a no-no (even if he is unhappy).
I suggest finding another doctor and stopping contact with this man.
There are also other things to consider:
- You don't want to do anything to... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend's brother have a "crush" on me or am I paranoid? How do I handle this?
Q. Does my boyfriend's brother have a "crush" on me or am I paranoid? Ok, Here's some background: I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 6 years now- and he is my first real love. There are definate issues in the relationship, ones that I have been...
A. 19 October 2006: Hello Anon,
If you really care about your boyfriend, you'll do the both of you a favor and stop hanging out with his brother so much. With time apart, your feelings and his should start to dwindle.
You could also look at it from this angle ... (read in full...)
14 yeasr old and I'm pregnant..what should I do?
Q. im 14 nd ad sex wit ma ex now i think im preganant wat shoudl i do?...
A. 19 October 2006: Hi Anon,
Before you do anything - take a pregnancy test. They have many different varieties at the pharmacy. You can also buy them in packs of three. This way if you feel you want to double check your results, you can take two tests. If it co... (read in full...)
Is there something going on between my girl and her male friend?
Q. I've been dating my girl for over a year now and its a seriuos relationship, we both intend to take it to the ultimate i.e marriage one day, but there's one problem she's got this male friend that I feal is a big threat, at first I didnt think it ...
A. 19 October 2006: Hi Anon,
Look, it was extremely unfair that you make her choose between you and her friend. Why would you do that? Would you really feel good about hurting the person you supposedly love? You can't tell her who she's allowed to be friends ... (read in full...)
How can I stop myself getting hurt by every lad?
Q. how can i stop myself gettin hurt by evry lad?...
A. 18 October 2006: Hello Katz,
I'm not sure what you mean by getting hurt. Maybe you just need to get to know these guys a little better before trying to make anything serious out of a relationship. Make sure that you mesh well as friends before romantic partners... (read in full...)
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