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... Send *tina a private message | | | *tina's profile:Hi, I'm Stina! I've been an agony aunt here on Dear Cupid since July 2006 and became a site moderator the following November. I've not been able to be on here as much as I used to be, but that's because I've just started a new job. Hopefully I'll be able to be on here much more in the future. But for now, it's office work for me during the day!
Anyway, I grew up being very independent and because of that have always been able to work out problems in my life pretty well. My friends have often times come to me to help sort out what they should do in tough situations, as well. Hopefully I'll be able to help you out if you ever need advice, too! ^_^
As for who I "really" am - I'm 26, an atheist, and married. I live in beautiful Charm City, Murderland with my husband, our three hairless chinese crested pups (Ivy, Zoey, and Duncan), one smooshy floofhead dwarf hamster (Budgie; RIP Dr. Sushi T_T) and one huffy hedgehog (Nacho). I'm a quality assurance engineer and a graphic designer. My artwork has been shown all over the world including the US, France, Algeria, Australia and more. ^_^
I'm also addicted to cute animals, japanese pop culture, reggaeton, 80's hip hop and breakdancing (can't do it!, love to watch it!), experimental and avant garde films, food and tattoos (self designed).
If anyone cares to see a "real" picture of me, you can see one here: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com/profile (Check out my uber-cool snob nose! haha) I'm posting this in hopes that other aunts/uncles will post their pictures. I'm always interested to see what all of us actually looks like! ^_^
I have a myspace and a livejournal, so if you want to know anymore about me for some reason I'll post the links. (If you'd like to add me as a friend on either of these, please just message me here or on either site! I've made my accounts private to keep out the weirdos.)
Livejournal: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com |
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He feels guilty for using me, but I said don't worry. Now he hardly talks to me!
Q. Why is he being funny with me? I met him last week,and he seemed really keen. He is 29 and im 18 but im fine with this and so is he.. but on saturday i ended up at his house and i gave him oral i felt a bit guilty because i told him i was gonna make ...
A. 15 January 2007: Hi there Kez,
Since you've only known this guy a week, are you sure that what he told you is true? Do you really think he feels bad that he "used" you? I'm wondering if he's okay about what's happened and is saying this to get rid of you beca... (read in full...)
What does relationship mean?
Q. what does relationship mean?...
A. 14 January 2007: Hi there,
Relationship can mean anything really. There are all kinds of relationships. Open, exclusive, seeing one another, friends w/ benefits, etc. (At your age you should know this by now!) But if you don't know where you and your partner ... (read in full...)
I was snuggling and kissing this guy I like-the next day I had a red rash on my face! What is it?
Q. hi this boy asked me out yesterday and i said yes. after school we were hugging for about an hour outside the school (it was quite cold). then we kissed (just a normal kiss). then today when i woke up i have really red cheaks and they feel quite ...
A. 13 January 2007: Hi Anon,
Maybe he was using some kind of body spray - like axe. Maybe you re allergic to it. Does he have any facial hair? Stubble, in my opinion, is worse than full on facial hair and can cause me to have a rash since I have really sensitiv... (read in full...)
I'm only dating him to piss of his ex gf and get back at her. Should I tell him?
Q. I'm 15 and I have recently gotten myself a boyfriend and he is 16. Lately I've noticed that maybe my feelings for him aren't there completely for him. I mean I've liked him before and everything was great but I feel it deep in my heart that I'm just ...
A. 12 January 2007: Look anonymous, I don't know what else to say to you. But I can say that I do think you really need to seek counseling. I had to mark one of your responses "unapproved" yesterday and edit the response you have below because we cannot post text ... (read in full...)
I'm only dating him to piss of his ex gf and get back at her. Should I tell him?
Q. I'm 15 and I have recently gotten myself a boyfriend and he is 16. Lately I've noticed that maybe my feelings for him aren't there completely for him. I mean I've liked him before and everything was great but I feel it deep in my heart that I'm just ...
A. 12 January 2007: First off, I have to say that I completely agree with Lilly in all that she's stated.
Why do you care about this girl so much? Maybe you should strive to be more like her. She seems very mature and does not let people like you mess with her emot... (read in full...)
My BF told me to move on because his parents won't approve of our relationship!
Q. hi everyone, im 23 years and in college. i started dating with my boyfriend about an year ago. i ve a 2 yr old son from my ex. my boyfriend was the one always after me. at first, i didnt take him that seriously. but he just wouldnt let it go. he a...
A. 11 January 2007: Hi there shabnam,
What an awful situation you're in - it's terrible that he would even get together with you in the first place knowing how his parents are. He sounds way too selfish in my opinion. He got what he wanted, and how he's done wit... (read in full...)
My ex's grandmother made plans to visit me for a few days! How can I politely tell her no?
Q. Hi cupids Here it goes my ex and I broke it off 3yrs ago we have a son together who turned 9 this year, we had an on/off rship for almost 10yrs during this time I got very close to his family and friends and the same went for him we were hoping t...
A. 11 January 2007: Hi Jovial,
If she is saying that she wants to visit her grandson, could you perhaps let your ex watch after your son for a bit - then she could go over his house. If your son is out of the house, then she couldn't use that as an excuse to get t... (read in full...)
15 and secretly agreed to marry my secret boyfriend!
Q. Im 15 years old and my boyfriend who ive been with for two years asked me to marry him, on christmas eve. Ive said yes and although we are keeping our relationship secret from everyone else because were afraid they'll ruin it i have decided i want ...
A. 11 January 2007: Hi Anonymous,
I'm not going to go and tell you that you shouldn't get married; I think everyone else has covered that already anyway.
I don't know where you live, but in most places if you're under a certain age (usually it's 16), then you ne... (read in full...)
I feel so guilt, but I can't stop cheating! I need opinions so I can realize how selfish I'm being.
Q. I'm a young mom married to an older guy and i have cheated!! I met this guy recently and we both liked each other. He satisfies me not just sexually but emotionally too and i think that's what i am craving for. We are very intimate now and i know ...
A. 11 January 2007: Hi again Anon,
You say that you don't know if you love your husband. You say that you don't want to have a divorce. And you still cheat.
Okay - the first two things I think say much about this situation and how to resolve it. I think that go... (read in full...)
My bf promised to break it off with his "geisha," but hasn't yet. How long should I wait for him to do so?
Q. My boy promised to break it up with another girl. she's kind of like his "geisha." It's very painful to me, but we have a long-standing relationship and my heart is his. I can't contemplate another man without feeling like a cheater myself. How lo...
A. 11 January 2007: I'm wondering what sort of relationship you two have. It sounds like you are casually seeing him, as is the geisha. If he values you more than this other woman, then in my mind he would have given her up as soon as he realized that his heart was ... (read in full...)
I'm 16 - I'm so curious to know if I'm pregnant. When's it okay to take a test?
Q. im 16 and im in the most wonderful relationship that i have been in!!..but here's the thing..i've lost my virginity to my bf..and i dont think i regret it..but im still scared of getting pregnant..when should i take the pregnancy test after i have ...
A. 10 January 2007: Hi Anon,
Did you use protection? I'm guessing that you didn't from your post. If it's not been longer than three days, you can speak with your doctor about getting the morning after pill (aka emergency contraception). This is pretty effectiv... (read in full...)
My bf promised to break it off with his "geisha," but hasn't yet. How long should I wait for him to do so?
Q. My boy promised to break it up with another girl. she's kind of like his "geisha." It's very painful to me, but we have a long-standing relationship and my heart is his. I can't contemplate another man without feeling like a cheater myself. How lo...
A. 10 January 2007: Hi again,
If he's supposed to be in an exclusive relationship with you and he is sleeping with someone else and doesn't really seem in any real rush to stop, I think you need to give up on this guy and find someone who will respect you, your fee... (read in full...)
I feel so guilt, but I can't stop cheating! I need opinions so I can realize how selfish I'm being.
Q. I'm a young mom married to an older guy and i have cheated!! I met this guy recently and we both liked each other. He satisfies me not just sexually but emotionally too and i think that's what i am craving for. We are very intimate now and i know ...
A. 10 January 2007: Hello Anonymous,
Why are you married? I'm just wondering if you still want to make things work with your husband - if you still love him and want to try - because honestly the answer might be divorce.
You say you feel guilty, but you don't st... (read in full...)
My bf promised to break it off with his "geisha," but hasn't yet. How long should I wait for him to do so?
Q. My boy promised to break it up with another girl. she's kind of like his "geisha." It's very painful to me, but we have a long-standing relationship and my heart is his. I can't contemplate another man without feeling like a cheater myself. How lo...
A. 10 January 2007: Hi there,
Geisha: One of a class of professional women in Japan trained from girlhood in conversation, dancing, and singing in order to entertain professional or social gatherings of men.
(Geishas do not perform any sexual acts at all.)
... (read in full...)
My mother criticizes me about almost everything - including my relationship status. Any advice?
Q. Dear Cupids, I am having trouble with my mother and have done for some time. A lot of the time she really gets me down. I have lived away before but circumstances have brought me back home for now. She is always pressuring me to get with a gu...
A. 10 January 2007: I thought I would also pass along this link to another person who had a similar problem. This girl's mother also tells her that she needs to settle down. It also might help you to read what other aunts had to say about her situation:
http:... (read in full...)
My mother criticizes me about almost everything - including my relationship status. Any advice?
Q. Dear Cupids, I am having trouble with my mother and have done for some time. A lot of the time she really gets me down. I have lived away before but circumstances have brought me back home for now. She is always pressuring me to get with a gu...
A. 10 January 2007: Hi Anonymous,
For some reason, it seems like whatever you do is not good enough. Have you tried talking to her about it? Like having a long discussion when neither of you are in an argument and things are relatively normal? Maybe she's just bei... (read in full...)
I'm only dating him to piss of his ex gf and get back at her. Should I tell him?
Q. I'm 15 and I have recently gotten myself a boyfriend and he is 16. Lately I've noticed that maybe my feelings for him aren't there completely for him. I mean I've liked him before and everything was great but I feel it deep in my heart that I'm just ...
A. 10 January 2007: Anonymous,
Leave this poor guy and girl alone. The only reason you're with him is because you want to piss off the other girl who really didn't have anything against you in the first place. Are you getting any satisfaction out of being a brat? ... (read in full...)
We are buying a house together but he wants to go back to Uni and leave me paying for everything!
Q. My boyfriend and I are planning to co-own a house together. We're both in our early 20s and we've saved up quite a bit after 2 years of working very hard. My boyfriend told me he wanted to go back to university so he can have a better career in the ...
A. 10 January 2007: Hi Yuna,
I would not buy a house until you both are able to pay for it equally, and by yourselves without the help of your parents. Do they all know that they may be included to help pay for a second mortgage?
I suggest living with your parent... (read in full...)
I'm 2 months pregnant - will sex affect the baby?
Q. well i am 2 months pregnant does sex affect my baby?...
A. 10 January 2007: Hi there Anon,
I've heard that it's fine for the most part (as the other aunts have stated), but there are a few cases where orgasm has led to contractions which result in early births. But, I'm sure that this is not typical. I actually just fou... (read in full...)
I broke my 'butt bone' and the painkillers aren't working! Anyone been in a similar position?
Q. hey ppl. i've broken my coccyx. its sooo painfull n the pain killers i've been prescribed aren't workin. i just wanna know if anyone has done it n what they did to help the pain. thanx sexylinz xxxxx...
A. 10 January 2007: Hi Linz, lol - Sorry, I'm not laughing at you, I think the term "butt bone" is funny. Okay, I would definitly talk to your doctor about the medication not working, as mentioned before. You shouldn't have to go in for an appointment, it should... (read in full...)
Husband wants me to have sex with my friend. Is this normal?
Q. My husband wants me to have sex with my girlfriend. Is He normal?...
A. 9 January 2007: Hi Anon,
I agree with Ponun when he asks "what do you think?" and Dr Pete when he writes "do you want to have sex with your girlfriend." As long as you two have a relationship where you feel comfortable doing this sort of thing, then by all mean... (read in full...)
Gay issues...can anyone tell me their thoughts?
Q. Hi. I'm a 20-year-old gay guy from the UK, and something is really bothering me. I'm not 'out' to my family because they are really homophobic (which has made me very depressed and suicidal), but I get really angry when I hear so many stories about ...
A. 8 January 2007: To the last comment:
Excuse me, but growing up has nothing to do with the poster's parents being homophobic and therefore affecting him on a deeply personal level. And while not everyone is going to like him (which he obviously understa... (read in full...)
Gay issues...can anyone tell me their thoughts?
Q. Hi. I'm a 20-year-old gay guy from the UK, and something is really bothering me. I'm not 'out' to my family because they are really homophobic (which has made me very depressed and suicidal), but I get really angry when I hear so many stories about ...
A. 8 January 2007: You're welcome! Feel free to write back if you need to. :)... (read in full...)
Gay issues...can anyone tell me their thoughts?
Q. Hi. I'm a 20-year-old gay guy from the UK, and something is really bothering me. I'm not 'out' to my family because they are really homophobic (which has made me very depressed and suicidal), but I get really angry when I hear so many stories about ...
A. 8 January 2007: Hi there Daniel, It's a shame when people are afraid to come out as being gay because it's not society's "norm." And it's even worse when your family is homophobic. I think that in order to live your life the way you want, it's best to move out... (read in full...)
My mum told me that if I didn't settle down with someone now-I never will. Im only 23! Any thoughts?
Q. My mum told me this morning that if I didn't settle down with someone now then I never will. Im 23, single and at the moment Im happy just focusing on my job. I have lots of friends who I go out with every week and have a really good time but I ...
A. 7 January 2007: Hi anonymous,
There's no need to hurry up and get married. You say that you're having fun now and that's all that matters. If you rush to get hitched to someone just for the sake of settling down and nothing else, then what would the result b... (read in full...)
Got pregnant. Going to terminate. Should I tell him I had an abortion while he's on holiday... or wait until he returns?
Q. I have just find out I am pregnant. My boyfriend is away on holiday on the other side of the world for another month and I am going to terminate the pregnancy, which I am happy to do. I was wondering whether I should tell him while he is on holiday, ...
A. 5 January 2007: Shoot - I realize my last post was somewhat confusing. I mean to write "if you can stand to wait to have the procedure done until after he's back from holiday..."... (read in full...)
Got pregnant. Going to terminate. Should I tell him I had an abortion while he's on holiday... or wait until he returns?
Q. I have just find out I am pregnant. My boyfriend is away on holiday on the other side of the world for another month and I am going to terminate the pregnancy, which I am happy to do. I was wondering whether I should tell him while he is on holiday, ...
A. 5 January 2007: Hi Anon,
I have to say that I totally agree with R&B. If you can stand to wait until after he's back from holiday to discuss things with him and tell him your decision, please do so.
If things were flipped around, do you think you'd want... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my teacher!
Q. I've recently got quite close to one of my teachers from school (I'm 21 now). We'd had each others email addresses from school and had kept in touch through that for some time as we had got on really well at school but, over the last few months we ...
A. 5 January 2007: Hi there anonymous,
First off, I don't really see what him having been your teacher has anything to do with this, so I'm going to push that to the side (the only reason it would change things is if you were still in school, and you're not.) T... (read in full...)
Could I have conceived even though I'm a virgin... ?
Q. So the other night, my boyfriend and I fooled aorund, He "got off" Than He wiped his hands off, and we sat up and talked for about 45 minutes, than we started messing around again,and he fingered me, Can I be pregnant? Even If Im still a virgin?? ...
A. 3 January 2007: Hi Anonymous,
Well if there was sperm on his hand when he fingered you, then it is possible that you could get pregnant. But if it was 45 mins later, it's not likely. There was another thread about this that was posted a little while ago. He... (read in full...)
I'm 17, he's 16. My friends put me down for liking someone younger!
Q. hey guys theres this guy that i like, he also really likes me. however im 17, and his 16 and my friends wont stop putting me down because they think the guy should never be younger even thought its only 1 year. I know u shouldnt listen to other pe...
A. 3 January 2007: Hi there Anon, Dude, what the heck? Not dating someone because they're a year younger is ridiculous. Your friends sound like a bunch of callous jerks. You really like this guy and the only thing they can pick on him for is his age? Are they j... (read in full...)
He believes in "mates before dates"...
Q. Im 16 but pretty mature for my age and i have had boyfriends a few years older than me and so i have been treated good. At the moment im going out with some1 and hes 18.. hes a real 'bloke' sort of guy and he has lots of friends. he has told me ...
A. 3 January 2007: Hi Alicea,
Mates before dates. Okay, well I guess it depends on the situation. I can understand him saying that and constantly trying to reinforce that to you if you are trying to get him to break plans with his friends to be with you. Or if yo... (read in full...)
My bf hates condoms and there is no way, I'm having unprotected sex. Any other options?
Q. My boyfriend and I are ready to have sex, but my boyfriend doesn't like condoms and there's no way I'm having sex without protection. There's no concern about STD's, so what other options are out there? I'm sure he'll eventually break down and ...
A. 2 January 2007: Hi Anon, I suggest making an appointment with your doctor to find out about various methods of birth control: pills, the ring, the shot, iuds, etc. (I would avoid the patch becuase it's been linked to causing deaths from issues w/ blockage.) A... (read in full...)
Do I tell him his mother ruined his proposal?
Q. My boyfriend (now fiance) and I took a trip to Australia with his family last March. The day before we left for the trip his mother e-mailed me and added the words "almost mother in law" beside her name. Well this was pretty much a dead give away ...
A. 2 January 2007: Hi there,
I would be a bit annoyed if that happened to me, as well. But what matters most is not that the surprise was ruined, but what the proposal actually stands for. (Congratulaions, by the way!) Try being happy about your fiance wanting ... (read in full...)
Can precum make someone pregnant?
Q. me and my boyfriend had sex twice, one with a condom one without... and it was my first time, he didnt cum inside of me, i guess im asking if PRECUM is enough sperm to get someone pregnant? and we had sex January 1st and my period was over Decembe...
A. 2 January 2007: (btw - even if it's not during your fertile time, you can still get pregnant(!!), it's just *more* likely that you'll get pregnant in your fertile window. Your fertile window is two days before ovulation and the day of ovulation. The link I gave ... (read in full...)
Can precum make someone pregnant?
Q. me and my boyfriend had sex twice, one with a condom one without... and it was my first time, he didnt cum inside of me, i guess im asking if PRECUM is enough sperm to get someone pregnant? and we had sex January 1st and my period was over Decembe...
A. 2 January 2007: Hi Anon,
Yes, precum can make you pregnant. That's why it's best to have some sort of birth control handy at all times you have intercourse. If you aren't taking anything, then you should probably speak to your doctor about your options.... (read in full...)
My dad thinks she is jealous
Q. Hi, i need some help here, my ex gf and i broke up a fair while back and now i'm with someone else called Holly, now my ex claims not to love me or anything or even fancy me anymore, however on my msn screen name i have i love Holly, and la...
A. 21 December 2006: Hi Anon,
I agree with your father. I think that your ex is probably jealous in a way, even if she doesn't want to be a couple with you. It's probably just a lot for her to take in that you're actually with someone else. I'm not trying to say t... (read in full...)
I am looking to marry before my baby is born. How can I organise this cheaply, but stylish?
Q. OK, dear cupid's I need some help, advice.... anything which my help!! me and my partner are expecting our first child in July! We are very excited about this. But we really want to be married before the baby is born! So we have set a date! 24th ...
A. 21 December 2006: Oh yeah - a couple of other things -- I'm not sure if you know this already, but when downloading images make sure that they are at least 300 dpi. You can get away with 150, but anything less is going to look fuzzy. For example, images used on the ... (read in full...)
I am looking to marry before my baby is born. How can I organise this cheaply, but stylish?
Q. OK, dear cupid's I need some help, advice.... anything which my help!! me and my partner are expecting our first child in July! We are very excited about this. But we really want to be married before the baby is born! So we have set a date! 24th ...
A. 21 December 2006: Hi again :)
If you want some nice pictures, you could visit a stock photo site. The one that I use is istockphoto.com. It's not expensive and they have tons of photos, illustrations, etc to look through. You pay for each picture with credits.... (read in full...)
I am looking to marry before my baby is born. How can I organise this cheaply, but stylish?
Q. OK, dear cupid's I need some help, advice.... anything which my help!! me and my partner are expecting our first child in July! We are very excited about this. But we really want to be married before the baby is born! So we have set a date! 24th ...
A. 21 December 2006: Hi Danielle,
Congratulations on both the wedding and the baby! How exciting! :)
Well this is how I did things:
- we were married at a courthouse in our state capital (it was actually really nice and cute...and it only took a few minutes.... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of my spots? I can't get the girls anymore.
Q. Hi. about 5-6 months ago i had no spots what so ever and i could get pretty much any girl i wanted. but now i have abserloutly tons of spots and i can't get no girls no more. what can i do to get rid of spots or get a good lookcing girlfriend again ...
A. 21 December 2006: Hi Anon,
You might want to speak to your doctor about the cream called Sulfacet-R. My mother-in-law uses it. She's had adult acne all of her life and went through TONS of medications. She was actually perscribed this because of her rosacea,... (read in full...)
I know he got me a hideous present for Christmas!
Q. I know what my husband got me for Christmas (he left it on his dresser) and it is hideous earring that I wouldn't be caught dead in. Should I hint to him that I hate gold jewelry, or hearts with hopes that he will return it for another gift, or ...
A. 20 December 2006: Hi Blondie,
This is always a hard spot to be in because you probably don't want to hurt his feelings or anything. If I were you, I would tell him that I didn't really care for it when I got it as a gift (but obviously you're still apprecia... (read in full...)
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