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... Send *tina a private message | | | *tina's profile:Hi, I'm Stina! I've been an agony aunt here on Dear Cupid since July 2006 and became a site moderator the following November. I've not been able to be on here as much as I used to be, but that's because I've just started a new job. Hopefully I'll be able to be on here much more in the future. But for now, it's office work for me during the day!
Anyway, I grew up being very independent and because of that have always been able to work out problems in my life pretty well. My friends have often times come to me to help sort out what they should do in tough situations, as well. Hopefully I'll be able to help you out if you ever need advice, too! ^_^
As for who I "really" am - I'm 26, an atheist, and married. I live in beautiful Charm City, Murderland with my husband, our three hairless chinese crested pups (Ivy, Zoey, and Duncan), one smooshy floofhead dwarf hamster (Budgie; RIP Dr. Sushi T_T) and one huffy hedgehog (Nacho). I'm a quality assurance engineer and a graphic designer. My artwork has been shown all over the world including the US, France, Algeria, Australia and more. ^_^
I'm also addicted to cute animals, japanese pop culture, reggaeton, 80's hip hop and breakdancing (can't do it!, love to watch it!), experimental and avant garde films, food and tattoos (self designed).
If anyone cares to see a "real" picture of me, you can see one here: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com/profile (Check out my uber-cool snob nose! haha) I'm posting this in hopes that other aunts/uncles will post their pictures. I'm always interested to see what all of us actually looks like! ^_^
I have a myspace and a livejournal, so if you want to know anymore about me for some reason I'll post the links. (If you'd like to add me as a friend on either of these, please just message me here or on either site! I've made my accounts private to keep out the weirdos.)
Livejournal: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com |
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Should I tell his wife he cheated on her?
Q. I was seeing a married man for 15 months. He is 46, 13 yrs my senior. Married 24 yrs, with 4 kids and 2 grandkids. I should say he was also my boss and sunday school teacher.After months of pushing him away he held on strong. Everyone knew except ...
A. 16 May 2007: Good lord, Anonymous. You came here looking for help and now you feel like you have to apologize and explain your emotions to a complete stranger. You shouldn't have to do that. This post has totally gone off on a tangent - I suggest you take the ... (read in full...)
My parents were over protective when I was young, Im now 21 and dont feel I have a normal life and I'm scarred!
Q. I grew up with two very overprotective parents, who wouldn't allow me to grow up, in fear of losing their little girl forever. Whenever I tried to act my age, they would give me a hard time and I would get in trouble, even if I was doing something ...
A. 16 May 2007: Hi Catlova,
Honestly, I think you should make an appointment with a conselor so you can discuss all of the problems you are going through. I think a doctor would be more qualified to help you since you seem to have gone through 21 years of abuse... (read in full...)
How do I choose between my two boyfriends?
Q. i love 2 guys as much as the other,i know i cant carry on like this but i don't want to be on my own either,i know it isn't fair on any ov them or myself. they both know about each other and i feel suffocated as they both want 2 be with me, i love ...
A. 16 May 2007: Hello again Anonymous,
Okay - so your ex cheated on you. Were you two able to work things out or is this the reason you are no longer together? This man seems to be good apart from this one flaw, am I right? You say that he is sorry, that he ... (read in full...)
Should I tell his wife he cheated on her?
Q. I was seeing a married man for 15 months. He is 46, 13 yrs my senior. Married 24 yrs, with 4 kids and 2 grandkids. I should say he was also my boss and sunday school teacher.After months of pushing him away he held on strong. Everyone knew except ...
A. 15 May 2007: Hi again anonymous,
You're welcome! (I really don't see the point in acting like a jerk to someone who is in need of help. All it does is end up making the person angry/defensive and making me look like a heartless jerk. Plus it's just plain un... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing in breaking up for economical reasons!
Q. hi, im in bits. i have just broken up with my fiancee probably for the wrong reasons but also because i want to give myself some quality of life. i love him to bits and i know he worships the ground i walk upon. the problem is, we are struggli...
A. 15 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
If he has been working for this guy for the past 7 years and you two have been happy, then why is it all of a sudden a problem now? The way I see it, if you truly love someone then it won't matter how much money either of you make... (read in full...)
Should I tell his wife he cheated on her?
Q. I was seeing a married man for 15 months. He is 46, 13 yrs my senior. Married 24 yrs, with 4 kids and 2 grandkids. I should say he was also my boss and sunday school teacher.After months of pushing him away he held on strong. Everyone knew except ...
A. 15 May 2007: Hi Anonymous, If he is trying to renew his relationship with his wife, then that's good. My suggestion is to leave him and her alone. What good would it do - he has a family that he is trying to keep together. You are just feeling bitter r... (read in full...)
He plays computers games until 4 am with friends! Should I be upset, and jealous?
Q. Ok, I love my boyfriend very much and he loves me too. we have an apartment together and sometimes one of his friends and his brother comes over to play computer games. Once they get there that is all he does and I feel really left out and kinda ...
A. 15 May 2007: Hi jtaunton,
Ha! That sounds like my husband! ^_^
Anyway - I don't think you should be jealous, and I certainly don't think you're being a baby. I think maybe you wouldn't feel the way you do if you were part of the fun he was having, as w... (read in full...)
How do I choose between my two boyfriends?
Q. i love 2 guys as much as the other,i know i cant carry on like this but i don't want to be on my own either,i know it isn't fair on any ov them or myself. they both know about each other and i feel suffocated as they both want 2 be with me, i love ...
A. 15 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
Well, it's good that they both know about each other and both know that you are not in an exclusive relationship with either one of them. I just had to tell you that because it seems pretty rare that people are as honest as you when... (read in full...)
I don't feel badly that I cheated on her with a 14 year girl! Any advice?
Q. i an 18 and i have a 15 year old girlfriend. i cheated on her with a 14 year old. this isnt the first time this has happened. i dont really feel bad about it either. what should i do?...
A. 15 May 2007: Anonymous,
What should you do? Break up with your girlfriend so you can date around instead of be in an exclusive relationship. You're obviously not ready for one. And hey - that's not a bad thing, but it is if you keep playing this girl. H... (read in full...)
I cant wait to see him with another woman, but he thinks it will break us up!!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have finally found someone to join us in a threesome. I just can't wait to see him with another woman! Am I crazy? He thinks it's going to break us up and won't do it if it will. Am I mental for wanting to do this? Help!!!...
A. 14 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
I don't think you're "mental" for wanting to do this, but I do think you're being rather pushy. Your boyfriend obviously has reservations about doing this and has told you he doesn't think it's a good idea. Please respect what he ... (read in full...)
Are any ladies or men who can give me some advice on what males of 23 think, want in a relationship?
Q. Hey Hey, I'm seeing this 23 year old....and there's a 7 year difference between us. Like... I wanna get inside his head...know or understand what he's thinking. I wanna know what 23 yr old males think and what they want. I wanna know conversa...
A. 14 May 2007: Hello babieegirl,
That's like asking "I want to know what 16 year old females think and what they want." Everyone is different. I'm sure at your age you realize this, don't you?
So my piece of advice for you? Talk to him - find out what hi... (read in full...)
okay well a friend of mine has been obsessed with this guy for nearly two years now, and i know he doesnt like her like that
Q. okay well a friend of mine has been obsessed with this guy for nearly two years now, and i know he doesnt like her like that (because i am also a friend of his) the last few weeks ive really fallen for him, and i told him how i felt last night and i ...
A. 14 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
If it's been two years and your friend has yet to make a move on him, then I don't really see a problem with you and the guy getting together. In my opinion - and everyone's different - if she really wanted to be with him, she woul... (read in full...)
How can I prevent my bf from possibly going out with his new "friend"?
Q. My b/f recently got a new friend---the friend is smart and nice BUT i don't like his lifestyle--his girlfriend is pregnant and the girlfriend and family live about 3 hours away--he is into real estate and also does some other work so i guess they ...
A. 14 May 2007: Hi Anonymous, I don't understand why the friend's lifestyle has you all worried. And these flaws you point out only seem to be assumptions you've made. How do you know what the relationship of the friend is with his partner? How do you know ... (read in full...)
All I wanted was his support for my friend who passed away. Was I out of line?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months. At first everything was great. But things have changed. A good friend of mine passed away recently and I hadn't seend my boyfriend since I was with the family. Well, I asked my bf if he and I could spend ...
A. 14 May 2007: Hi there anonymous,
First let me say that I'm very sorry to hear about the passing of your friend. It sounds like this person was a wonderful part of your life seeing as how upset you are. And even if you two weren't that close, anytime a person... (read in full...)
I lack confidence and I am so paranoid in public that I feel sick. How do I overcome this?
Q. I lack confidence , i cannot be myself around my boyfriend or anyone else, i struggle to talk to people , he knows the situation and tries to help, so many people say they fancy me but i can't see what they see in me , i am so paranoid in public and ...
A. 14 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
I think maybe you suffer from social phobia, but I'm not sure. Perhaps you should schedule an appointment with your doctor and/or a psychologist to get to the root of your problem.
In the meantime, do a search on this website for... (read in full...)
I told my boyfriend I got the morning after pill but I didn't!
Q. dear cupid................................... i think i mite b pregant coz 14nyts ago my boy friend and i whos 2 years older then had protected sex but half way through we both heard the comdom split. I told my boyfriend I got the morning after pi...
A. 14 May 2007: Lilbaby,
You need to take a pregnancy test. (And if you're not going to be responsible, you need to stop having sex, as well.) Don't panic - see what the test says before getting everyone all worried. If it's positive, you need to tell your par... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't keep his hands off me in public. Is this normal?
Q. ok this may sound silly, but my boyfriend is obsessed with my boobs! everywhere we are he has his hand up my top. he even does this in public now. The other day we were sitting watching TV with my parents and he had his arm round me and was there ...
A. 10 May 2007: Hey there anonymous
I dated a guy just like this for 2 weeks. He was so completely disrespectful. Eventually - after a short time - I found out that he just saw women as objects. He was a total creep, loser, you name it. If I were you, I'd... (read in full...)
My partner likes sleeping in, but I want us to spend time together in the morning!
Q. My partner and I have a very loving relationship... there's just one problem. Our sleeping hours don't mix. Doesn't sound too bad does it? But it really effects me. Basically what is upsetting me is that when I get up in the morning my partner ...
A. 10 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
I think you need to give your partner a break. I wake up on the weekends very early - between 6:30 and 7:00 - and my husband doesn't wake up until around 9:00 most of the time. I'd love to spend time with him in the morning,... (read in full...)
I cheated on the exams, what can I do?
Q. i feel so guilty because ive just cheated in my exams at university. what should i do?...
A. 10 May 2007: Hi there,
I don't know how it is in the UK, but I know if you cheat over here in the US there are some schools that will either make you drop the course and some that will go as far as kicking you out altogether. My advice is to learn from thi... (read in full...)
My partner has secretly been texting a 16 yr old, but he says its because she in a mess and needs help!!!!
Q. I just found out that my partner of 4 years has secretly been texting a 16 year old girl, behind my back and I'm totally heartbroken, hes 36! all the trust has gone and I dont feel like I know him anymore and I dont know what to do! Backgroun...
A. 3 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
Glad to hear the update! It sounds like things are working out for all of you. It's good to hear that it sounds like there will be no secrets like this again in the future. While your guy was trying to be a good help to this gir... (read in full...)
Are all women with "tramp stamps" aka tattoos on the small of the back, sleep-arounds or is this a label put on them?
Q. Are all women with "tramp stamps" aka tattoos on the small of the back, sleep-arounds or is this a label put on them?...
A. 2 May 2007: Stop acting simple - you know the answer to this question. Just because someone has a tattoo, whether it be on the small of her back or anywhere else for that matter, doesn't mean that they're a tramp.... (read in full...)
My partner has secretly been texting a 16 yr old, but he says its because she in a mess and needs help!!!!
Q. I just found out that my partner of 4 years has secretly been texting a 16 year old girl, behind my back and I'm totally heartbroken, hes 36! all the trust has gone and I dont feel like I know him anymore and I dont know what to do! Backgroun...
A. 2 May 2007: Hello again anonymous,
I just had to write back to let you know that I think it would be a huge mistake to lie to your partner, as the last poster suggested you do. (I'm sure you know what a bad idea this is without anyone telling you; however,... (read in full...)
Whens the right time to french kiss a girl ?
Q. when is the right time to french kiss a girl when i only get to see her at school or school related things?...
A. 2 May 2007: Hi Anonymous,
I agree with Kenny - why don't you ask her to do something outside of school? Maybe invite her over to watch a movie or go someplace fun together - like on a picnic or something. It might sound lame to you, but I think she would ac... (read in full...)
Advice on how to take the pill correctly!
Q. i'm on birth control .. and i'm just wondering (this is my first month) the ring in the middle. with the least amount of pills, is that the pills that you take that is suppose to make you start your period? just wondering because i've...
A. 2 May 2007: Hi there,
I think that you need to read the packet of info that came with your pills - it actually tells you what these pills are. Also, you could talk with your doctor about it.
But to answer your question - while your body is adjusting to ... (read in full...)
My partner has secretly been texting a 16 yr old, but he says its because she in a mess and needs help!!!!
Q. I just found out that my partner of 4 years has secretly been texting a 16 year old girl, behind my back and I'm totally heartbroken, hes 36! all the trust has gone and I dont feel like I know him anymore and I dont know what to do! Backgroun...
A. 2 May 2007: Hello Anonymous,
You said in your last update that "...hes now worried that he cant break free of her incase she does something stupid." He has to realize that everyone needs to learn from their own mistakes at one point and he can't be there to... (read in full...)
The fact that he didn't tell me he was married and older, really bothers me! What should I do about this?
Q. Hi, I'm 21 years old and am going out with a 40 year old man. We've been together 2 and a half years. It started off with me believing he was 32 when we first got together but I later found out he was actually nearly 40 and had been married. He...
A. 25 April 2007: Hi Sunset,
Okay, what bothers me is the fact that he could lie to you for so long. It's not really what the lie was about, but that he did it so that he could "trap" you into staying with him. If he really cared about you, wouldn't he want you... (read in full...)
He split from his gf and I comforted him but now..he wants back with her! What can I do?
Q. ok well im 14 and i really like this boy who's 17, and recently he split up with his girlfriend and i comforted him and he still wants to get back with her, and we always text and chat to eachother, and he has showed signs of likeing me in that way ...
A. 25 April 2007: Hello anonymous,
It's really nice of you to comfort him during his break-up, but I think the last thing you need is to be in a relationship with this guy.
-- How would you be sure it wouldn't be a rebound relationship?
-- How would you know... (read in full...)
My parents were rigid and controlling and I have low self-esteem! How do I cope?
Q. I have been brought up like an obedient servant by my parents who does everything they ask to, even if it's not something i want to do. They would pressurize me to do it if i denied and it is generally me who has to give up, for they are quite rigid ...
A. 25 April 2007: Hi Anonymous,
I don't understand what you mean by your parents making you do certain things. Are you sure they weren't just trying to teach you how to become a responsible adult in the future? You don't really go into detail, so I'm not quite su... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me to keep my dad in the dark when it comes to my dating life?
Q. Hello, I'm 18 years old and in a relationship with an amazing man. I won't get all sappy and annoying but suffice to say, he makes me extremely happy and I feel very secure and loved with him. I endured a bit of sexual abuse when I was younger an...
A. 25 April 2007: Hi there anonymous,
It doesn't sound like your father really respects you, otherwise he wouldn't keep saying negative things about your relationship with this man. It's one thing not to like your boyfriend, but totally different if he's knocking... (read in full...)
Annoyed that I didn't get her phone number at the wedding,,,but what could I do??
Q. when you meet a person at a wedding and you don't have your mobile with you, no pen or paper , how do you take the person's number to contact the person again? i was stuck in a situation like that at a Wedding. the inivitation said no mobile...
A. 23 April 2007: Hey Anonymous,
The previous advice is what I was going to give you, as well - find out from the bride/groom. If they don't know, then they will know who would have the number. They'd probably be happy to get it for you.
Also, I've run into th... (read in full...)
Im married and bisexual, if I were to hang out with a women and have fun etc! Would that be considered cheating ?
Q. Hi, I am a married, bisexual woman. I feel in a difficult position. If I were a lesbian, I would be a faithful partner to only one woman. If I were straight, I would be a faithful partner to only one man. But since I'm bisexual, I have a need ...
A. 23 April 2007: Hi Anonymous,
Well that's great news! I'm glad that after talking things out with your husband that you were both able to reach an "agreement" about how things will be. Just remember to stay open and honest with one another.
Take care. ^_... (read in full...)
Im married and bisexual, if I were to hang out with a women and have fun etc! Would that be considered cheating ?
Q. Hi, I am a married, bisexual woman. I feel in a difficult position. If I were a lesbian, I would be a faithful partner to only one woman. If I were straight, I would be a faithful partner to only one man. But since I'm bisexual, I have a need ...
A. 20 April 2007: If you love them both, then it only seems fair to pick one or the other, or to at least let your husband know that you would like to be in an open relationship. If he agrees, then by all means I think that you should be able to love and sleep with ... (read in full...)
Im married and bisexual, if I were to hang out with a women and have fun etc! Would that be considered cheating ?
Q. Hi, I am a married, bisexual woman. I feel in a difficult position. If I were a lesbian, I would be a faithful partner to only one woman. If I were straight, I would be a faithful partner to only one man. But since I'm bisexual, I have a need ...
A. 20 April 2007: Hi again, "If she became my best friend, and we did all kinds of non-sexual stuff together, that wouldn't be cheating?" No - as long as you don't fall in love with her. Because cheating can be through emotions, physical pleasure, or bot... (read in full...)
Im married and bisexual, if I were to hang out with a women and have fun etc! Would that be considered cheating ?
Q. Hi, I am a married, bisexual woman. I feel in a difficult position. If I were a lesbian, I would be a faithful partner to only one woman. If I were straight, I would be a faithful partner to only one man. But since I'm bisexual, I have a need ...
A. 20 April 2007: Hi Anonymous,
What sort of "need" would this woman be fulfilling? If it's more than a friend, then don't do it. It will just lead you to have feelings of confusion - you don't want to be romantically/emotionally attached to someone other th... (read in full...)
I really love him but hes 5yrs older then me! Should I tell him ?
Q. please help.. There is a guy I really love but hes 5 years older than me..and right now that is a lot..I want to tell him i love him..should I ? ...
A. 6 April 2007: Hi there Anonymous,
First I have a few questions:
-- Are you two dating?
-- If not, what sort of a relationship do you have with him?
-- What do you think his reaction would be?
-- Where do you see things going if you do tell him?
... (read in full...)
Could they put him in jail if I'm pregnant???
Q. ok so me an my boyfriend had unprotected sex a couple times last month, but im on the pill and faithfully take it everyday. He also pulled out but now my period is about 3 days late and im starting to get worried. Whats the chances I could be ...
A. 6 April 2007: I just read that you were on the pill...somehow I missed that before. It's great that you're being responsible when it comes to sex (!!!) - so many people are not and take unnecessary risks.
It's very unlikely that you're pregnant in that cas... (read in full...)
Could they put him in jail if I'm pregnant???
Q. ok so me an my boyfriend had unprotected sex a couple times last month, but im on the pill and faithfully take it everyday. He also pulled out but now my period is about 3 days late and im starting to get worried. Whats the chances I could be ...
A. 5 April 2007: Hi hoopchick,
Before getting all worried, go get a pregnancy test and take it. If you feel more comfortable, get a couple if you feel like you should double check the results. It's also better to get a test that says "Pregnant" or "Not-Pre... (read in full...)
I've heard that after sex, people have nothing left to talk about... is this true?!
Q. I met my g/f @ a leadership conference in washinton dc last october. I live in arkansas and she lives in new york. we both realize that it's a long distance, but we developed strong feelings for each other not long after meeting each other. We've ...
A. 5 April 2007: Hi there Eb, "I've heard that after sex, couples rarely have anything to talk about." That is something that people say so it makes you want to stay a virgin - basically it's a bunch of crap. Just because you have sex, it doesn't mean tha... (read in full...)
I feel so mean, but the invitation numbers are going up, Ive been asked to reduce my guest list, so some of his can come!!
Q. hello everyone. i feel so mean at the moment. my fiancee and i are to be married in a few weeks and we have everything set. our wedding is to be a rather intimate affair consisting of 60 guests, close friends and family. we have booked a reception ...
A. 5 April 2007: (My point in asking about the cousins is if he's not that close with them, then they could be left off in any case. Everyone knows that you all need to keep the guests to a minimum, and they should be understanding of that.)... (read in full...)
I feel so mean, but the invitation numbers are going up, Ive been asked to reduce my guest list, so some of his can come!!
Q. hello everyone. i feel so mean at the moment. my fiancee and i are to be married in a few weeks and we have everything set. our wedding is to be a rather intimate affair consisting of 60 guests, close friends and family. we have booked a reception ...
A. 5 April 2007: Hi there anonymous,
My own personal feeling is that if you invite someone, they should be able to bring their partner regardless of if you approve of the relationship or not. I also think that if your fiance is inviting many, many more people, ... (read in full...)
When a girl gets hurt in a relatonship, does she tell anybody (even her ex)?
Q. When a girl gets hurt in a relatonship, does she tell anybody (even her ex)?...
A. 5 April 2007: Hi Anonymous,
It depends on the girl, but hopefully she'd talk to her partner about it first. If he is unwilling to discuss it with her, then naturally she'd want to talk to someone else - not only to vent, but also to maybe get some advice o... (read in full...)
Im seeing a married woman, her relationship is in turmoil, I just want her to be happy even if she doesnt end up with me, how can I best help her ?
Q. Thanks for any response you can give me. I'm a 44 male never been married nor do I have any children. I recently took a new job and my new co-worker and I really hit off. She has been in a relationship for 9 years living together and has been eng...
A. 5 April 2007: Hi there anonymous,
Even though she's not married (guess whoever titled this read your question wrong), she still obviously cares about this guy - and he still seems to have some feelings for her. I think right now she is just very confused... (read in full...)
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