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*eanne.od agony aunt


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life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, believe that everything happens for a reason. if you get a chance, take it. if it changes your life, then let it. nobody said it'd be easy; they just promised that it would be worth it.

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Why can't I get the truth out of him, of why we broke up?

Q.   How are you supposed to move on from a relationship that has ended when you don't even know WHY it ended??? My b/f broke up with me 1 month ago and I still have so many questions about why he ended it. I don't believe the broad/general reason he t...

A.   21 April 2008: Sometimes guys get scared when it comes to commitment, so maybe he just really isn't ready for a relationship and he thinks if he doesn't tell you now then you'll get hurt further down the line. I understand its hard to move on without a clear ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is a stripper and it is driving me crazy!! Is lap dancing to be considered cheating? I don't want to loose her, how do I deal with this?

Q.   heres my question im in love with a woman who ive been with for the last three years on and off, we are talking again. the problem is that she is a stripper. i have mixed feelings about the whole thing, she has quit for me in the past but this tim...

A.   23 December 2007: well, you will need to accept that this is her career choice and whether you approve or not, it is her decision. i don't beleive it to be cheating, she isn't doing anything untowards with these clients. she isn't having sexual contact with them, for ... (read in full...)

I'm 12 and upset that there are so many in my grade that are already having sex. I'm worried about everyone and I didn't think I would have this drama till high school. What should I do?

Q.   I'll try to make this short. Ok, i'm worried and kinda just upset. i'm 12 in 7th grade and I already know about 8 people in my grade who have had sex and gotten drunk. One of them used to be a good friend of mine who actually lost their virginity ...

A.   23 December 2007: Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to control the behaviour of your fellow students but you have a good head on your shoulders and the others could learn something from your way of thought. you are far too yound to be having sex, and as for ... (read in full...)

I still love my pregnant ex, but she has a new boyfriend. Do I tell her?

Q.   My ex girl friend is pregnant and im still in love with her. but she also has a boy friend to. what do i do??...

A.   19 December 2007: your ex doesn't need you to tell her you love her still, she is pregnant and is probably overly emotional as it is, you telling her that you still have for her will upset her and if she has a boyfriend, it is clear she has moved on. you need to do ... (read in full...)

We did everything but have sex...and now he says he doesn't have sexual feelings for me.

Q.   Saturday night, my best friend stayed over at my house because my parents were away. He has been probably the nicest boy to me in the world, and cares about me so much. Before the summer we liked eachother, but then summer split us up and he hooked...

A.   19 December 2007: oh dear. more often than not, if a girl offers something on a plate, then a guy will take it because at that moment in time they feel sexually aroused, but it might not be you that arouses him. i don't mean to sound nasty, but if he says he is not ... (read in full...)

Now she's dating another boy but I suspect she still loves me and only broke up due to insecurities generated by our long distance situation. What to do?

Q.   My girl friend and I dated for two years, It was a long distance relationship, but we really had a strong bond and did everything to make it work. One day she told she wasn't really feeling our relationship anymore and i think it was just because ...

A.   19 December 2007: i don't think she loves you, i think she is trying to get over you, or she already has and has started speaking to this guy because she sees it as though she can now. she might need something closer to home or easier. i think you need to move on,... (read in full...)

We're back together but he will not agree to officialise it. Should I trust him?

Q.   My boyfriend keeps lying to me, there not really big lies but how do I know hes not lying about more serious things?? An example of one of his lies is he broke up with me a month ago and told me it was because he was going to America to play ...

A.   19 December 2007: he wants all the fun with no strings or committments, just like th majority of young guys. i think you are better off out of the relationship because you are going t obe second guessing everything he tells you. when he says he's going out with ... (read in full...)

Will him being a Muslim prevent us to... date?

Q.   theres a new guy at my school, really nice and flirty hes got my msn. we flirt constantly online and then calm down a bit in school. now i really wanna go out with him and i think he wants to go out with me.... our problem is he is a

A.   19 December 2007: it is always difficult when different cultures and beliefs are involved. it should be straight forward but chances are his family won't approve of him seeing someone from a different religous background because you don't have the same beliefs etc, ... (read in full...)

How can my ex (who initiated the break up) treat me in such affectionate way, to then turn around and claim he is not attracted?

Q.   I spent a good majority of this last summer dating a young man I used to go to highschool with. He was a musician, part of a band, and lived in a large house with his band-mates. After dating for maybe a week I moved in. 3 months later, he ended up ...

A.   19 December 2007: it sounds like he doesn't want you but doesn't want anyone else to have you. one week is very fast, to fast, to move in with anybody because you don't know each other well enough to know your limits or the other person's annoying habits/pet ... (read in full...)

Early 20's, virgin, and suffering from anxiety. Can you help?

Q.   Hi, I am a virgin in my early twenties.I was suffering from anxiety for an year or so. This was due to working continually for night shifts in my job.I could not get out of it.My health had gone down.I remained away from friends and work. I ...

A.   19 December 2007: first of all, your mum was wrong to have done what she did, it is not at all helpful with anxiety and depression to confuse you and make you feel uncomfortabel, she is your mum, and cannot fulfil you sexually, and shouldn't have tried to get close ... (read in full...)

Does this shy guy like me? What move should I make?

Q.   There's a guy that I really like, and I think he may like me. He's quite shy too. He'll look at me, and sometimes he'll stare at me for a long time when we change classes. When I talk to him, though it's not often, he doesn't seem to mind talking ...

A.   19 December 2007: it looks like he does like you, but just being friends is a good way to start things off because you can get to know him, what he likes, what he's into and you'll know if you are compatible, i think, you shouldn't push things especially if he is ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has a big problem with my sexual past

Q.   the discussion has come up about my sexual past, now seven months on my boy friend will no stop going on about it. he says that because i have liberal,views on sex that i will cheat on him. it would not even cross my mind. i am really being hen ...

A.   19 December 2007: it's wrong for your boyfriend to make the assumption that you will cheat just because of your views on sex, you need to explain that cheating is not what will break you up, but it will end because of his constant insecurity and continual worrying. ... (read in full...)

I think my 15 year old son was looking at my porn collection, how do I approach him?

Q.   i believe my 15 yr old son has been looking at my few porn dvd collections which i kept well away from view in my room. i saw they ave been disturbed and one found under d bed where it should not be(maybe left in a hurry)I ave now gotten rid of a...

A.   19 December 2007: think back to when you were 15 years old, and i'll bet you couldn't honestly say you never looked at any porn. he's at an age where he's getting to grips with sex and puberty has kicked in and he wants to learn more. there's no real harm in porn, ... (read in full...)

He flirts with me then goes cold, how do I know if he really likes me?

Q.   I'm 13 years old and I'm a girl. This boy who I hardely know, Flirts with me. He's also 13. Lately hes been talking dirty and saying hey. He hasent bugged me for 3 days almost. What does it mean if he hasent bugged me for 3 days?...

A.   19 December 2007: reverse physcology. he hasn't got your attention by "bugging" you so he's leaving you alone hoping you will miss his, um, charms. at 13, are you honestly ready to start dating? you're very young and sometimes girls your age aren't ready for a re... (read in full...)

When is it adequate to kiss a person for the first time? I want to, but should I?

Q.   How do you decide if you should to kiss a guy yet? I've kissed people before, I just mean, how do you know if you are ready with a new person. I feel like I want to but I don't know if I should, even though he always asks me....

A.   19 December 2007: well, i always kiss a guy i like on the first date, there's no harm in it, and it shows you are ready to date that person. the guys usually feel the exact same, worried, aprehensive, don't want to seem to forward but want to show an interest in you, ... (read in full...)

How do you succeed in getting to know an online acquaintance that you fancy, more?

Q.   There's this girl who I've met once with a group of friends. After about a month I added her on msn and for the first time had conversation. She said hi first and was very friendly. I fancy her. I'd like to get to know her more and hopefully meet up ...

A.   19 December 2007: the best way to get to know somebody is just by talking to them, asking them questions and then they will ask you some. why not ask her out on a date? take her to the cinema or bowling, that way, you can get to know her and if she has agreed to come ... (read in full...)

Can a girl feel a guy ejaculate in her? Your experiences on the matter?

Q.   Can a girl feel a guy cum in her? What are your experiences on the matter? ...

A.   19 December 2007: yes a girl can feel it when a a guy ejaculates unside her, well at least i can, i cannot speak on behalf of every female being, but it's a sensation that feels warm and tingly, but then i'm not sure what it feels like if a guy is wearing a condom, ... (read in full...)

My landlord complains about my dog. Nothing was said about this when moving in and now I'm panicking, what to do??

Q.   My question isn't relevant to love but I don't really know where else to turn for advice. I moved out on my own 6 months ago. You could say I've led a sheltered life and am perhaps a bit naive. I'm 22 and this is my first time living alone, an...

A.   16 December 2007: check through and read your contract thoroughly. you need to see if when at the time of you signing the agreement and terms of lease, if it does in fact state that pets are not acceptable. it will always say "no pets" or " no childdren" and if it ... (read in full...)

Does need a break means I will leave you?

Q.   my boyfriend has recently told me he needs a break. Does this mean he is goin to leave me?...

A.   16 December 2007: it mean he needs time to clear his head and decide what he wants, it's his way of having ome breathing space. it is not your fault, some guys just need time to think about whether they are committed enough to continue a relationship or if they ... (read in full...)

We maintain an innocent friendship but I reason it can be much more! What to do? We already go out but they're not "officially" dates.

Q.   I'm 17. I met this girl 2 years ago, who I've liked for a very long time. We've maintained a pretty close friendship since. We talk to each other almost everyday! When we hang out we talk about personal things. We're relatively shy and we only ...

A.   12 December 2007: there is no harm in asking her out on a proper date. tell her you would like to take her out and see if things can progress more than friends. let her know you like her and that you want to date her, to see how it goes. if she enjoys your company ... (read in full...)

He's seen me naked but we haven't had sex yet and I'm scared about progressing...

Q.   I'm a virgin, and my boyfriend is coming back from college, and I haven't seen him in 3 months. I've never done many sexual things. He's seen me fully naked, but I'm kinda scared. He asked me if we could go ahead and have sex. He has way more ...

A.   12 December 2007: You need to be 100% positive that you are okay with having full intercourse, and not just doing it because he wants it. not every girls first time hurts, mine never, it all depends on the particular girl, everyone's pain level is differen... (read in full...)

How do I keep up the conversation without seeming I'm interrogating him? (He's good at asking questions to discover more about the other.)

Q.   I recentlly met a guy through evening rugby practices. We haven't been goign out, but we've been conversing a bit. HOWEVER!! When we converse, its always him asking all the questions, which I dont' mind, because he's good at it...and it allo...

A.   12 December 2007: you cuold just ask him the same. when he asks you a question and you ahve answered, end it with "and what about you?" that way you learn the same amount about him as he does about you. he won't think you are interigating him because it's normal to ... (read in full...)

Is this possible? Penis fracture during sex when certain positions are assumed? (e.g. cowgirl) Also, can it be recuperated?

Q.   Hi all, I am a 23-year old virgin who has read up quite a bit on sexual matters. I have heard that the male penis can snap when certain positions are assumed (e.g. cowgirl), under certain level of intensity. May I know how this can be successfu...

A.   12 December 2007: first of all, the chances of this happening are very small because unless your partner is very unthoughtful, she will go at the right pace for you and you will know the comfortable positions you are able to enjoy without any worries about it ... (read in full...)

My first sexual contact 7 months ago was painful and I am still in immense pain during sex. What can I do?

Q.   i am 18 and have been in a relationship for the past 12 months. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend around 7 months ago which was really painful. I still however still cannot have sex without bein in immense pain. This is now becoming an issue in ...

A.   12 December 2007: my advice would be to go to the doctors, sometimes it just takes practice to loosen up the cirvix but on occasions it could be that you have either a really tight cirvix, causing pain becuase the penis won't fit, or you may have an infection of some ... (read in full...)

Do other people go through these kind of feelings getting out of an emotionally abusive relationship?

Q.   This is probably a silly question, but sometimes I feel like I never should have explained to my ex why I couldn't be with him (because he was emotionally abusive) because in a weird way I would be very jealous if I showed him the light, he changed, ...

A.   12 December 2007: my ex mentally abused me, aswel as emotionally, and he didn't even know what he was doing because it came as second nature to treat me like that, and my guess would be for someone to change they need to beleive it is how they are, not just listening ... (read in full...)

When is it time to tell her I like her? Should I let this to be discovered naturally?

Q.   Ok, so theres this girl in my college class that I really like. She always sits next to me in the class we have together and laughs at my jokes. We've been on a few dates but its nothing serious. Is it time to tell her that I like her or should I ...

A.   12 December 2007: I don't see the harm in telling her how you feel, she must be interested in you to have gone on a couple of dates, however serious they were. just prepare yourself for the worst, i.e her saying she doesn't feel the same, that way if it did happen, ... (read in full...)

What does this text message that he received mean, do you think?

Q.   my boyfriend got a message sent to his phone from a girl saying 'i'm sorry if i have ruined anything but i do really like you'. he hasn't spoke to me properly and we havn't got a long very well since he recieved this message. do you think it means ...

A.   7 December 2007: it could mean a hundred things, but this girl has obviously said something, maybe that she ahs feelings for him or that she wants to be with him, or something alot more sinister like sleeping with him, but before you go jumping to conclusions i ... (read in full...)

My clit has moved. Is this normal?

Q.   I've been masturbating for a while, and before I started masturbating my clit was centered, but now that I have started masturbating more, my clit leans to the side, instead of being centered. Is this normal?...

A.   3 December 2007: Your body learns to adjust and depending on how often you mnasterbate, your clit is just moving into the natural way which you are willing it to go. it isn't abnormal but keep an eye on it as it may make it difficult for intercourse if it isn't ce... (read in full...)

How do I need to act around a colleague at work I like?

Q.   We are colleagues at work. I know him more then one year but I was his girlfriend just two weeks, two months ago. We have broken up on bad way by his fault. I was totally broken, he left at home one month (he is from Thailand) and I blocked him for ...

A.   3 December 2007: you need to move on and let him continue with his life, which he has made no secret of telling you he doesn't want you in. you feel disheartened that he never asked you how your vacation was, but if he doesn't care, why would he ask? he doesn't ... (read in full...)

I still view her as a threat and it winds me up that she still texts him, What can I do?

Q.   last year i broke up with my bf, after we went to my friends wedding as mates, but i still really liked him, one of my friends bridesmaids, her mate, kept tellin everyone how much she fancied my ex which drove me mad. recently and slowly me and my ...

A.   3 December 2007: he is entitled to have girls as friends but my ex once said to me "a guy will never have a girl as a friend unless he wants to shag her" and being that he was a guy, i guess ther is some truth to it. i'm not trying to put doubt in your mind, i'm ... (read in full...)

How can I tell Greg how I really feel about her?

Q.   I have this friend named greg* well greg and we have known each other for about 2 years now but he has always viewed me as a sister-type and he thinks I view him as a brother-type, but really my heart has been breaking everytime I am around him ...

A.   3 December 2007: Have you ever watched "my best friends wedding"? julia roberts was madly in love with her best friend and he ended up marrying cameron diaz. anyway, my point here is that not every case senario has a happy ending. in your mind you're hoping he will ... (read in full...)

I can't go and see my long distance boyfriend and now I am not sure he will wait.

Q.   I posted a question before about my long distance relationship. I'm 16 and he's 20 and been together 4 months problem is i'm not allowed down till i'm older and he said he was fine with this but now he says it might split us apart which both of ...

A.   3 December 2007: Without any intention of sounding biased, i think your mum is looking out for your best interests. 20 year old men are only interested in one thing, and you are 16. you need to experience the things this lad has without him. he says he won't wait, ... (read in full...)

He was desperate to marry me, now he wants to WAIT to get engaged. What's going on with him?

Q.   My boyfriend has been telling me from two months into our relationship that he loves me more than life and wants to marry me. We lost our virginity to each other 6 months ago and now we're approaching a year. I want him to propose to me for ...

A.   3 December 2007: You are in such a hurry to frow up - how come? Okay, so he loves you, but you get engaged now and he will stray because every single man and women has to experiment and have different partners before settling down, because the human nature c... (read in full...)

I have no rhythm when I am on top during sex. How can I get better at moving my body??

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together about a month and a half. Therefore, on Christmas it will have been about 2 months. What do you recommend getting him for Christmas? I don't wanna be too cheap, but don't want to get too extravagant either. ...

A.   3 December 2007: Get him a voucher or something alike. As for having no rhythem, everyone has it, it's just discovering it, my recommendation would be to go slow, moving back and forth, in time with him. just make sure he doesn't lie still, that would be impossib... (read in full...)

I missed a pill 3 days after sex, can I be pregnant?? please help

Q.   Hi, this question is about the pill. Please answer as I'm very anxious. I started my packet of diannette last Friday week (23rd november) as usual after my 7 day break. I had sex on the saturday night with my boyfriend (without a condom) and I ...

A.   3 December 2007: Had you have had sex on the day you missed your pill, there would be a high chance of pregnancy but you missed the pill 3 days after you had intercourse, therefore you were protected on the day you had sex. the protection would have been in place ... (read in full...)

She's not very nice, but I still think of her. How do I stop?

Q.   I have been seeing my current girlfriend for about 7 months now and things are going fine. However, before I started seeing my girlfriend, I became close to a (female) friend of mine of 8 years. We became closer and slept together a few times. S...

A.   3 December 2007: You need to try, however difficult it may be, to put her out of your mind. it is clear it was just casual sex, no strings, just a bit of fun and she has moved on without any apparent hesitation. you are probably lusting after her because you can't ... (read in full...)

Is he for real?

Q.   hi, i need help. I met this guy at a bar, i frequent, over the weekend. i was pretty hi and cant even remember how i gave him my number. he sent me a text message the following day saying how he has been admiring me for quite sometime now. i have ...

A.   3 December 2007: Until you speak to him, you aren't going to know. unless you are telepathic and can read his thoughts. High or not, you gave him your number and if he wasn't truely interested, he wouldn't bother texting you. he doesn't want to seem over keen so ... (read in full...)

Should I ask my sister to get her number for me?

Q.   I met this girl at a party at my friend's house and was chatting with this girl, and later found out that she was the sister of a friend of my sister(ie my sister's friend's sister). I was wondering if it is ok to ask my sister to get this girl's n...

A.   3 December 2007: You have got nothing to loose. sometimes a sibling would get a bit weary if it is a close friend but i'm sure your sister won't mind considering it is your sister's friends sister, it isn't any real connection to her and therefore she won't have to ... (read in full...)

Is there a connection here?

Q.   My b/f's college-aged son came home with friends for the holiday recently. The boys were mixing drinks in the kitchen and offered me and my boyfriend one of their concoctions. After I drank the second one, I realized they had been passing around ...

A.   3 December 2007: it is possible, if the germs of the head cold came from one of you and then they were passed around, ultimatley speading but then if you are all under the same roof, that too could be the reason, either way, for future reference and peace of mind, ... (read in full...)

I am deeply hurt. What should I do now?

Q.   hi, having a difficult time, my girlfriend of 3 years says it is over and we have a 2 year old daughter - she said she got the vibe from me that i hated her 6 months ago but she is only telling me now. for a long time after the birth of our d...

A.   3 December 2007: first of all, you might not be able to just take your daughter, you need to talk things through with her. if it is finalised, you can apply for custody but there is no guarentee you will gain full parental rights, you will at least, get joint ... (read in full...)

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