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... Send *tina a private message | | | *tina's profile:Hi, I'm Stina! I've been an agony aunt here on Dear Cupid since July 2006 and became a site moderator the following November. I've not been able to be on here as much as I used to be, but that's because I've just started a new job. Hopefully I'll be able to be on here much more in the future. But for now, it's office work for me during the day!
Anyway, I grew up being very independent and because of that have always been able to work out problems in my life pretty well. My friends have often times come to me to help sort out what they should do in tough situations, as well. Hopefully I'll be able to help you out if you ever need advice, too! ^_^
As for who I "really" am - I'm 26, an atheist, and married. I live in beautiful Charm City, Murderland with my husband, our three hairless chinese crested pups (Ivy, Zoey, and Duncan), one smooshy floofhead dwarf hamster (Budgie; RIP Dr. Sushi T_T) and one huffy hedgehog (Nacho). I'm a quality assurance engineer and a graphic designer. My artwork has been shown all over the world including the US, France, Algeria, Australia and more. ^_^
I'm also addicted to cute animals, japanese pop culture, reggaeton, 80's hip hop and breakdancing (can't do it!, love to watch it!), experimental and avant garde films, food and tattoos (self designed).
If anyone cares to see a "real" picture of me, you can see one here: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com/profile (Check out my uber-cool snob nose! haha) I'm posting this in hopes that other aunts/uncles will post their pictures. I'm always interested to see what all of us actually looks like! ^_^
I have a myspace and a livejournal, so if you want to know anymore about me for some reason I'll post the links. (If you'd like to add me as a friend on either of these, please just message me here or on either site! I've made my accounts private to keep out the weirdos.)
Livejournal: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com |
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Im seeing a married woman, her relationship is in turmoil, I just want her to be happy even if she doesnt end up with me, how can I best help her ?
Q. Thanks for any response you can give me. I'm a 44 male never been married nor do I have any children. I recently took a new job and my new co-worker and I really hit off. She has been in a relationship for 9 years living together and has been eng...
A. 5 April 2007: Hi there anonymous,
Even though she's not married (guess whoever titled this read your question wrong), she still obviously cares about this guy - and he still seems to have some feelings for her. I think right now she is just very confused... (read in full...)
We had a row, I lashed out and slapped him! I'm truly sorry, but how can I get him to believe me!?
Q. we had a fight and i slapped my bf. i dont really mean it,it just happens bcoz i was in so much rage,i told him im sorry but he won't listen.what will i do to make him believe tat i'am really sorry for what i did? please help.i'm desperate.....
A. 3 April 2007: Hey there Miserable, I think that perhaps writing something to him from your heart would be the best move. Let him know how you feel and how much you value him. Don't buy him any gifts, because that would probably be insulting (at least that's... (read in full...)
My partner and I are planning a backyard "commitment" ceremony.
Q. Okay me and my partner are planning a backyard commitment ceremony. I just don't know where to start with it. who should be the speaker? what should we wear? How to invite people? how long does it take to plan these things? my head is spinning. i ...
A. 3 April 2007: (PS - For my wedding, I just wore what I wore on our first date. It was much more meaningful than an expensive old wedding dress that I'd never worn before and that I would never wear again. Maybe you'd like to do something like that, too. Or ... (read in full...)
My partner and I are planning a backyard "commitment" ceremony.
Q. Okay me and my partner are planning a backyard commitment ceremony. I just don't know where to start with it. who should be the speaker? what should we wear? How to invite people? how long does it take to plan these things? my head is spinning. i ...
A. 3 April 2007: Hi there so-n-love, Here are some websites that I ran across while doing a quick google search of "commitment ceremony" -- International Commitment Ceremony Registrar - http://www.unionoflove.com/ Alternatives to Marriages Project - http:... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to sleep with your first cousin ?
Q. i have left my husband and son and am sleeping with my first cousin,i have my teenage daughter with me and am living just a few yards from my husband and son.my son is very upset and thinks he and his sister will get a lot of bullying form other ...
A. 2 April 2007: Hi there Diane,
As long as the two of you are consenting adults, then there is nothing wrong with your relationship; however, having said that I do not think most people will understand.
People are afraid of what isn't society's norm f... (read in full...)
My mum is desperate to meet my boyfriends mum at whatever costs, how can I stop her being invasive, worse still doing it behind my back ?
Q. Hi! I'm with my boyfriend for more than two years now. My problem is that my mother is desperate to meet his mother. His parents live more than three hours away from my parents and they have only meet twice at a party with a lot of other people. ...
A. 2 April 2007: Hi Thea,
I don't really understand why you don't want your mother to talk with your boyfriend's mother. It seems like a normal thing for her to want to do - especially since you and your man have been together for two years. Do you mind elaborat... (read in full...)
Im 17, she wont be 16 for 2 months, she wants to have sex, should we or should we wait ?
Q. I am 17 and my girl friend is 2 months away from being 16 and she wants to have sex. i think we should wait a while but she dose not want to wait. I am not going to lie I want to do. What should I do. ...
A. 2 April 2007: Hi there Flame,
Having sex with someone who isn't yet 16 could get you in some legal trouble. Waiting two months is going to be frustrating, I know, but it would be better than facing the consequences if something should happen, right?
Plus it... (read in full...)
When I start to give more importance to money, my fathers love decreases for me.... Why!?
Q. If i start giving importance to money or make money, my father's love decreases for me, why this is so? Wonder When I will open that account.... ? I cant carry on writing Anonymously all the time..... ...
A. 2 April 2007: (BTW - if you want, you can still post as "anonymous" if you open an account.)... (read in full...)
When I start to give more importance to money, my fathers love decreases for me.... Why!?
Q. If i start giving importance to money or make money, my father's love decreases for me, why this is so? Wonder When I will open that account.... ? I cant carry on writing Anonymously all the time..... ...
A. 2 April 2007: Hey Anonymous,
Is it because your father feels like he's pushed to the side? Is it because you keep borrowing money from him -- maybe he feels used? Have you talked with *him* about all of this?
I don't fully understand your question - but r... (read in full...)
I have never worn underwear. How can I do this without feeling uncomfortable?
Q. please answer me asap ok. i'm a 18 years old boy and i've some sensetive problems. my problem is that I don't wear underwear and I have never wore it except when I was a child so now i feel that I want to wear but I can't because when I wear it I ...
A. 30 March 2007: So wait, when you see someone who's wearing underwear, you "can't control" yourself? Like how - do you pee in your pants then, too, or do you go crazy in a fit of rage because you also want to wear underpants...but can't because of your "sexual ... (read in full...)
This guy at work keeps coming in my office and sitting there staring at me! How can I get him to stop ?
Q. There is a guy where I work who will constantly walk by my office and stare at me. He will also come into my office and just sit in the chair across from me so I will divert my attention to him for a moment and try to make small talk, but after ...
A. 30 March 2007: Hi Patient1,
This sort of thing has happened to me, as well. Can you try to close your door a bit so it doesn't look as inviting for him to stroll on in and take a seat? That seems to work for me. I usually do this when I'm busy, so people g... (read in full...)
Is "hanging out" a relationship?
Q. is hanging out a relationship?...
A. 29 March 2007: Hi Anonymous,
I agree with Reebe - hanging out is plain old hanging out - no hidden meaning. I hang out with friends, but I also hang out with my husband...or the dogs. lol ^_^
If you think it might be more than just hanging out with the per... (read in full...)
Can anyone interpret this dream? I confided a sickness to a teacher in real life and had a bizarre dream about it!
Q. Okay. I was wondering if anybody is good at defining/interpreting people's dreams? My Dream: I was in some class room, with all of my sophomore classmates. I had this little pink diary and slipped it into my bookbag. Then I heard someone sa...
A. 29 March 2007: Hey there,
I'm not expert on finding the meaning behind dreams, but in my own opinion it seems as though you may be wishing you didn't tell Mr. A about your anorexia. Or maybe you didn't get the reaction you were hoping for from him in real lif... (read in full...)
Is everyone just impolite ?
Q. help i do walk every day in town i do see people face to face ,sometimes i feel strange becouse it seems i am the only one who say hello ,we are humans we say that we love that we want every thing to be green full of love ,but why we dont say hell...
A. 29 March 2007: Hi HL,
That happens to me most of the time, too. I say hello to people who do not say hello back (it happens a lot at work, which is weird. Since I see these people everyday it seems they would want to say hello back, but most don't.) I figure... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I are "on a break." Does that mean we're over?
Q. heya. Me and my boyfriend are on *a break* or *cooling things* for a while. I'm confused to what it all means... are we over? thank you lots xx...
A. 28 March 2007: Hi Anonymous,
I don't think anyone will be able to answer this except for your partner. Talk to him and see where things stand. It sounds like you two need to figure out if there are any guidelines (if there aren't any, then see if any should b... (read in full...)
He wants a 3some but-I'm worried he'll like the other girl better! Any thoughts?
Q. My bf wants a 3some. and to be honest im not to bothered by this as i wouldnt mind one myself. we do have a slight disagreement though. i want another lad and he wants another lass. i wouldnt mind that but im really scared that he'll shag one of my ...
A. 28 March 2007: Anonymous reader who posted below my last answer - The reason that some of us aren't bringing up age and ranting about that is because Katz's question is not "can you please reprimand me for having sex at a young age?" Some people choose to hav... (read in full...)
He wants a 3some but-I'm worried he'll like the other girl better! Any thoughts?
Q. My bf wants a 3some. and to be honest im not to bothered by this as i wouldnt mind one myself. we do have a slight disagreement though. i want another lad and he wants another lass. i wouldnt mind that but im really scared that he'll shag one of my ...
A. 28 March 2007: Hey there Katz,
You say that you're fine with having a threesome, but what you post reads differently to me. It sounds like you might be rather uncomfortable with the whole thing altogether. (I think most people are like this.) You say that you... (read in full...)
I ended up having sex with the wrong number guy! All I wanted was a friend should I stay in contact ?
Q. Ilive with my boyfriend,but the relationship is a mess.My love for him is fading day by day,he makes no effort to express his love.I met this guy who mistakenly called my mobile and we clicked straight away,what amazed me is that he got the same ...
A. 27 March 2007: I wrote my last response before your last one, so I didn't see it until just now.
If you're that unhappy and things aren't going well, then I don't think it's in the best interest of your child to stay together. How can being in an unloving... (read in full...)
I ended up having sex with the wrong number guy! All I wanted was a friend should I stay in contact ?
Q. Ilive with my boyfriend,but the relationship is a mess.My love for him is fading day by day,he makes no effort to express his love.I met this guy who mistakenly called my mobile and we clicked straight away,what amazed me is that he got the same ...
A. 27 March 2007: Oh! Duh, I just realized I didn't really answer your question: do you stay friends with this guy?
Well, that depends. Do you really think this would be a wise decision if you want to stay together with your boyfriend? Honestly it sounds like it ... (read in full...)
I ended up having sex with the wrong number guy! All I wanted was a friend should I stay in contact ?
Q. Ilive with my boyfriend,but the relationship is a mess.My love for him is fading day by day,he makes no effort to express his love.I met this guy who mistakenly called my mobile and we clicked straight away,what amazed me is that he got the same ...
A. 27 March 2007: Hi Anonymous,
HYave you spoken with your boyfriend about the problems that you two are having? Maybe he doesn't show love for you because he feels that there is also something wrong in the relationship. You won't know until you have a heart to... (read in full...)
My mum brought home her new boyfriend and it turns out he was my one night stand! Should I tell her?
Q. hey im in a massive mess right now and would really appreciate any advice people can give me ok Im 19 and about three months ago I met an older guy in a club. He started hitting on me and i did fancy him back but thought he was too old. he then ...
A. 27 March 2007: Hi there Anonymous,
I think this is a case where you need to do what you think is right. It sounds like you want to tell your mother, so I think that you should. It seems like the only reason you're not is because this guy who lied to you abou... (read in full...)
Why cant I have 2 wives if both women love me!?
Q. why i cant have 2 wifes if both woman loves me and i love them , and who made that law for us and what is the sense of it? as we all know that woman get another kind of feelings and therefor man and woman fall in love and make a new life and they ...
A. 27 March 2007: Hi there,
I can't really understand most of your post, but I think I got the gist of it. You asked "what is right" at the end - well, nothing is "right" and nothing is "wrong" when it comes to relationships. It all depends on what the couple (... (read in full...)
I saw my ex to see if all feelings had faded, I told my current guy this and hes flipped out!!!
Q. i met my ex boyfriend to see if there were any feelings still there. there werent, id told my current boyfriend and now he has totally went weird with me and cant understand its him i want to be with. any advice?...
A. 21 March 2007: Hello Anonymous,
Okay -- so you admitted to your current boyfriend that you thought there may have been left over feelings for your ex, so you met up with him behind your man's back. I can totally see why he's weirded out! I wouldn't be happy, e... (read in full...)
I don’t even know completely what a breast looks like because I can’t bare to see (no joke).
Q. I am a 25-year-old man from central England who has Cerebral Palsy and uses a wheelchair. I am very scared of love, sex, sexual contact, and even typing "xx" in a message to my mates. Generally, if I fear that I’m about to see a boob or the other ...
A. 20 March 2007: "I did think of counselling but it may be hard due to my speech impairment" If this is the case, then I think you should print out what you've written on here and see about giving it to a professional who can help you. If s/he reads this, it will ... (read in full...)
I constantly worry that people dont like me! Whats wrong with me ?
Q. i posted the previous question about driving guys away with my insecurities-i have another huge problem.i think that people dont like me so i don have many fiends.when u get 2 know me im really bubbbly and a nice person, but i think i come accross ...
A. 20 March 2007: Hi Anonymous,
I'm not sure how severe your insecurities are, but you might want to take a look at this website: http://www.socialphobia.org/
You might have what's called "Social Phobia" (aka Social Anxiety). It's a very real problem that oft... (read in full...)
I don’t even know completely what a breast looks like because I can’t bare to see (no joke).
Q. I am a 25-year-old man from central England who has Cerebral Palsy and uses a wheelchair. I am very scared of love, sex, sexual contact, and even typing "xx" in a message to my mates. Generally, if I fear that I’m about to see a boob or the other ...
A. 20 March 2007: Hey Anon, If you're serious, you need to seek the help of a professional counselor. Your CP has nothing to do with your feelings about anything that has a sexual nature. I've had two very good friends with CP - one who was a roommate of mine... (read in full...)
I'm 15, he's 27... and I met him on the 'net!
Q. I recently met a guy online who was 26 at the time, I told him I was 18 (even thgouh i'm 15, seemed like a good idea at the time). As soon as we met i told him the truth about my age, he said he was cool with it and glad I told him the truth. ...
A. 19 March 2007: Hi Anonymous,
It seems quite clear that you are uncomfortable in this relationship. Any romantic relationship that you are in, you should like and have positive feelings about - especially at your age! Don't feel tied down because you don't wa... (read in full...)
His drinking is out of control and my child deserves better! What does everyone else think!?
Q. This is a long one. I've been in a realitionship with my bf for going on 4 years, now. I'm 25 he's 30. Age is no problem. We have a 3 year old child, who is prefect. The timing wasn't there. Our worlds are sooo different. We've had so many ups and ...
A. 19 March 2007: Hello Altesse,
This guy sounds like a sleaze and I think it's a smart thing to do to leave him. Not only would it be better for you, but it would definitly be better for your daughter. What sort of role model is she going to have while growing ... (read in full...)
I abosolutely hate my new boss!!! I'm having really bad moodswings and it's affecting my relationship with my boyfriend.Help!
Q. guys help me out.iam workin in an alien land wth no family n friends its really hard, i thought i will be ok in some months but things got worse, my boss i hate him to death, and egoistic, irritatin idiot.thers nth i can do to right now coz iam new ...
A. 19 March 2007: Hello Anonymous,
Maybe you should try to talk with your boss and see why he's acting this way around you. Maybe ask questions about how you could improve your work habits around the office and things like this. Then at least your boss could se... (read in full...)
My best friend has started to make me feel bad all the time, how do I get rid of her!?
Q. I have a friend, who up until now was my best friend. She has become really childish, she makes horrible, nasty comments. And always puts me down. She always wants to be around me, I think she gets some kind of pleasure by making me feel bad. I do...
A. 19 March 2007: Hi Anonymous,
It's always terrible when things like this happen. Perhaps telling her that your feelings are hurt when she says something nasty will help her to realize what she's doing. Maybe she doesn't understand that her remarks are making y... (read in full...)
I've just found a valentines card to my husband from another women!!!!
Q. I found a valentines card sent to my husband from another woman. hes never mentioned it as a joke.... what should i do?...
A. 19 March 2007: Hi Anonymous,
Since you don't say what the card has written in it, it's hard for me to tell you if what's written is a joke. Maybe it doesn't seem like it's a joke because the simple fact that he got any sort of card for that holiday has you gett... (read in full...)
I'm getting married in less than 4 weeks! I don't want to marry him yet I can't call it off! What should I do?
Q. I'm getting married in less than 4 weeks time and i feel sick about the whole thing. His parents are chuffed to bits. My son hates him and their family. I cannot get anyone to have my son for one night while we get to the venue, which is 50 miles ...
A. 19 March 2007: Hi there anonymous,
Do not get married to this man - call it off now. Kenny is right, the longer you wait, the harder it will be to do. You are supposed to be thrilled at the thought of getting married, not feel sick about it at all! Througho... (read in full...)
AM I being unfair by not meeting up with her? Can't we just talk about this over the phone?
Q. Hi, I broke up with my (ex) gf the other day. I went over to her and said it to her face to face. i also said that if she wanted to give me a phone call later on, or later in the week, that it was fine, i dont mind, in case she has more questio...
A. 19 March 2007: Hi Anonymous,
Even though you two have broken up, I think it would still be a good idea to meet up with her so that she can talk to you in person about what happened. You say that you two got along and she was nice, just not the one for you - th... (read in full...)
I've tried to throw him out but he claims he has no where to go, I have 2 kids to consider here, what do I do?
Q. Hi I have only just found out that my partner of 11 years has been cheating on me and got another woman pregnant, as you can imagine I am totally gutted, he says he wants to stay with me and loves me but I keep finding text messages on his phone. ...
A. 12 March 2007: Hello Anonymous,
It's good that you're considering your children. With that said, what sort of role model is this man going to be for them? I don't really see him as a positive influence on them at all, do you? While it's good for your kids to ... (read in full...)
I am so unhappy and feel financially trapped. What can I do?
Q. I am forced to stay home with my three kids, my controling husband wants more children (I don't!), I feel so unhappy, but am financially trapped! What can I do?...
A. 12 March 2007: Hi Anonymous,
Does your husband know how unhappy you are? If so, what are his feelings about all of this? Is he willing to try and compromise more instead of try to be the head of the household? That's something that should be shared - all of t... (read in full...)
CAN someone look in to your soul just by looking at your face or in to your eyes?
Q. Let me get this clear, CAN someone look in to your soul just by looking at your face or in to your eyes? I have heard of people who can read your mind, but how much of it is really true? ...
A. 12 March 2007: Hi Anonymous,
I think most of the time it's just that people are really good at reading body language and facial expressions. Anything you say - whether it be what you say on your own or if you answer a question they ask you - is going to lead ... (read in full...)
On the pill but why are my periods getting heavier and heavier?
Q. hi im 18 and have been on the pill for just over a year. i have found that my periods keep getting heavier and heavier. does this mean its not the right pill for me and what should i do about it? please help x...
A. 7 March 2007: Hi Anonymous,
I agree with RnB - you should go back and have a discussion with your doctor. Tell him/her how long this has been going on and see if you can at least try another brand. Maybe you could stop taking the pill and just use condoms ... (read in full...)
Im painfully shy and have real low self esteem. I feel different to everyone else-how do I get past this?
Q. Im wondering if other people feel the way I do. Im 23 years old and my life on the outside would seem perfect. Im a model with my own home, lots of friends and a great family. But inside I feel like Im destroyed. Im painfully shy and have real lo...
A. 6 March 2007: Hi there Anonymous,
Wow - your problem sounds exactly like what I went through my whole life up until a couple of years ago. If I was walking down the street, I was convinced that someone was looking at me and thinking "that girl walks weird" o... (read in full...)
Is my mum right?
Q. My mum says if you have sex just after you finished your period you cant get pregnant as its already released the egg, im not sure this is true, does any one know if this is true...
A. 5 March 2007: Hello Anonymous,
You can get pregnant at any time. If you're going to have sex, just use a method of birth control and don't rely on anyone's advice of when you can't get pregnant. It's better safe than sorry, right?
If you want to know all... (read in full...)
I've been depressed for quite a while now and I think it's rubbing off on my boyfriend. Am I asking too much of him?
Q. I've been dating the same guy for 3 years and I have been chronically depressed the whole time. It makes my boyfriend feel like he is helpless to make me happy and now that he is going through a bout of depression of his own he does not always have ...
A. 2 March 2007: Hi Anonymous,
Have you considered - or are you going to - a counselor? I don't think that your boyfriend should be the only one trying to make you feel better. I think that you need to take a little initiative to make yourself feel better. ... (read in full...)
Is there life after death? Is there hell and heaven? Is there reincarnation? Do we wake-up, and find out we're all aliens?
Q. hey this is a very wide question but hopefully itll mean i get more peoples opinions on it!! what you think happens when people die, is there life after death? my dad died recently and i cant help thinking whats happened to him so i'd like to know...
A. 28 February 2007: Actually - I just changed my mind...if you want to visit the discussion and debate sites, by all means I think you should do that. It might help you to come to a decision in what you are as far as religion/nonreligion/philosophies are concerned. ... (read in full...)
Is there life after death? Is there hell and heaven? Is there reincarnation? Do we wake-up, and find out we're all aliens?
Q. hey this is a very wide question but hopefully itll mean i get more peoples opinions on it!! what you think happens when people die, is there life after death? my dad died recently and i cant help thinking whats happened to him so i'd like to know...
A. 28 February 2007: Hi Anonymous,
It shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks when it comes to something as personal as what you believe as far as religion (and all the things that go with it) are concerned. What matters is that you have researched and found an... (read in full...)
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