A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i met my ex boyfriend to see if there were any feelings still there. there werent, id told my current boyfriend and now he has totally went weird with me and cant understand its him i want to be with. any advice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2007): Well going out with your ex behind your boyfriend's back definitely wasn't a good move, as you have found out. The reason why he doesn't understand that you want to be with him is because you saw another guy behind his back and seeing as it is your ex makes it even worse. You and your ex were once boyfriend and girlfriend and he's worried that if your ex made the right moves which once made you want him that he's going to lose you. And why did you see your ex? If you wanted to be with your current boyfriend so much then why did you go and see another guy? I think that you need to re-think the relationship a bit that you are having. Maybe your boyfriend is the wrong guy for you.
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (21 March 2007):
 Hello Anonymous,
Okay -- so you admitted to your current boyfriend that you thought there may have been left over feelings for your ex, so you met up with him behind your man's back. I can totally see why he's weirded out! I wouldn't be happy, either. If you were unsure about your feelings with your current boyfriend, then you should have talked with HIM about it. Honesty and communication are the foundation for a truly healthy and strong relationship. I think you need to work on this a bit.
And as for any advice - don't go behind your guys back to see an ex again. Like the previous anonymous poster below wrote, put yourself in his shoes...would you be thrilled about him seeing an ex for the reasons you did? I don't think so. He's human, he has feelings - show some respect and understanding.
Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2007): Just reverse the situation. How would you feel if your boyfriend went to visit an ex girlfriend because he was not sure whether he liked her better than you? That is what it was. He has been spending all this time thinking one way and you have basically shown him that it was all a bit of a sham because you thought you may like someone else better than him. It will have made him think you don't know what you want, which is not cool. Why would he want to be with someone who does not appreciate him properly. Hopefully he is confident of his own self-worth and you have just shown him that you are willing to behave and act in a certain way (by being his girlfriend) but that you are not perhaps trustworthy or sure of your emotions.
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