A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating the same guy for 3 years and I have been chronically depressed the whole time. It makes my boyfriend feel like he is helpless to make me happy and now that he is going through a bout of depression of his own he does not always have the patience or energy to support me. I am not sure if I'm asking to much of him or if he has problems with providing emotional support.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007): I've gone through a very bad spell of depression in the past and i can honestly say that you need professional help to get yourself well. Sorry to say this, but you will of dragged your bloke down with you. It is inevitable. No matter how strong the bloke or how solid your relationship it is hard to keep going. I was on my own at the time, after a combination of past hardship i eventually collapsed with depression. My doctor was very sympathetic and sent me to a counsellor and put me on mild anti-depressant. With a lot of patients from my very best friends and will power from me i pulled myself out of it. But you do both need help and that should be started TODAY, don't wait a minute longer.
Take care
xx
A
female
reader, stina +, writes (2 March 2007):
 Hi Anonymous,
Have you considered - or are you going to - a counselor? I don't think that your boyfriend should be the only one trying to make you feel better. I think that you need to take a little initiative to make yourself feel better. I don't think it would be a bad idea for your boyfriend to seek help, either, if he is also suffering from depression. Since you both seem to have different problems regarding your depressions, you should see different doctors - or at least have seperate appointments.
Also, there's a really good website (http://www.iherb.com/store/) that you both might want to take a look at. You can write in whatever problem you have, and a list of products (organic herbs, vitamins, etc) show up - some with reviews - that could help the both of you with the depression you're suffering from. If I were you, I would take a look at the 5-HTP products and see if it would help. (5-HTP products have been known to help "battle" depression with good results.)
However, supplements alone shouldn't be a substitution for any sort of counseling, though. I still highly recommend going to see someone about your problem. If it's a chemical imbalance that's causing you to feel depressed, then you're going to need professional help. If it's something else, then the counselor can then talk and guide you through any problems that could be "fixed."
If you've been depressed for at least three years, the effects must be really wearing on you, relationship and boyfriend aside. Perhaps there is a counselor that you can see for free in your area? If you are still in school then maybe someone there would be able to see you. Those costs should be included in tuition.
Hope this helps!
Take care.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (1 March 2007):
 You need to get some therapy and medication if you're not already doing so. He may want to join you at your next therapy session so he knows how to cope with you without falling into his own depression.
Good luck!
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