A
female
age
26-29,
Thea
writes:Hi!I'm with my boyfriend for more than two years now. My problem is that my mother is desperate to meet his mother. His parents live more than three hours away from my parents and they have only meet twice at a party with a lot of other people. My mother wants to phone his mother, meet her and go to her house to drink a coffee (three hours to go there!). Not only now that she has meet her. She wanted to do that before she has ever seen her. She wants to do this despite I told her, that I don't like that. So she tries to do it behind my back. I can't see why she has to see her and talk to her. I'm not sure about his mother whether or not she wants to meet my mother without me beeing there. But I don't want that. It is my live and my privacy. I feel uncomfortable with her.What do you think about this? Do you like your mother seeing your boy/girlfriends mother? Is my mother invasive? How can I tell her, that I don't like this? What can I do if she does it behind my back?Thanks for answers! Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, realm  +, writes (2 April 2007):
 Better that it is a mother than a father. A father would flat out try to ruin the relationship for his daughter. Your mother just wants to respect your life but at the same time she wants to ensure your safety and honestly there is nothing you could do to make you parents not stop caring. You mom wants to be part of you life still and probably doesn't want to see you leave. I think if you let her meet you boyfriends mom she would be happy to know that you wouldn't condemn her for it. All she wants is to have you close is same way and for you to be safe. Let you mom be a mom. Now until she invades your personal privacy, well lets say that's another questions for us. If she has that little connection to you I doubt she will invade, and who knows the two mothers might become best of friends, and we are not in the right to deny anybody there rights. Best of wishes.
A
female
reader, stina +, writes (2 April 2007):
 Hi Thea,
I don't really understand why you don't want your mother to talk with your boyfriend's mother. It seems like a normal thing for her to want to do - especially since you and your man have been together for two years. Do you mind elaborating?
If your mom is embarassing you for some reason, try not to worry about it. Her actions only affect her - I'm sure nobody will think anything less of you because of what your mother does or says.
Also - you should find out if your boyfriend's mother wants to talk with yours. I don't see why she'd be opposed to it, honestly.
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