A
female
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*atzkitten
writes:My bf wants a 3some. and to be honest im not to bothered by this as i wouldnt mind one myself. we do have a slight disagreement though. i want another lad and he wants another lass. i wouldnt mind that but im really scared that he'll shag one of my girl mate in the 3sum and think they are better than me. It really worries me but i dont know why. please helpxxx
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male
reader, Blue Rat +, writes (28 March 2007):
Good point Stina. And for the benefit of the ranting anonymous poster, another reason some of us haven't taken Katzkitten's age into account is that it's not evident on her question and therefore we didn't know she was only 14. You have to go into her profile to find that out. Most people who post questions have their age group written right there above their post.
In all honesty I didn't really expect a question like that to be coming from a 14 year old.
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (28 March 2007):
 Anonymous reader who posted below my last answer -The reason that some of us aren't bringing up age and ranting about that is because Katz's question is not "can you please reprimand me for having sex at a young age?"Some people choose to have sex at a young age and, in my opinion, that is their business. Our part as agony aunts and uncles is to address the issue at hand, not judge. Don't you agree? With that said, wouldn't it be more productive to say something like "Since you're young, be sure to use condoms..." and things of that nature? Because regardless of what you think Katz should do (or any other younger person), the fact of the matter is that she is going to have sex. So why not help her with her question instead of write about something that she's not asking (and probably won't care about)?
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (28 March 2007):
Hey there Katz,
You say that you're fine with having a threesome, but what you post reads differently to me. It sounds like you might be rather uncomfortable with the whole thing altogether. (I think most people are like this.) You say that you don't know why the whole thing bothers you - well it's probably because you don't want to lose your guy to one of your friends! I'm not saying that would happen, but that's what it seems like you're afraid of.
Or else maybe you're afraid that your guy will be comparing you to your friend or say things like "Well you friend did this amazing thing, why can't you?" I can name a bunch of other things, too, but I think you've probably already thought of them, right?
Listen, don't do anything you're uncomfortable with, okay? Don't let your boyfriend push you into something that you don't want to do. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable, remember! ^_^ It shouldn't be something that you're viewing as negative and it shouldn't be seen as a competition. The last thing you want to do is possibly lose a friend and your boyfriend over wanting to experience something like this, right?
Go with your instinct. Talk it over with your man. If he doesn't understand where you're coming from (he probably does since he doesn't want another guy involved!), then I think that really says something about his character. Don't let yourself be manipulated or walked over, okay?
Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2007):
I have to admit I am quite surprised by your questions seeing as you are only 14 years old.
You've given some good advice on this website, I think you'd do well to take your own advice! My advice is that you are setting yourself up for huge emotional problems when you are older if you continue with what you are doing at your age. Just my opinion. I doubt you'll agree, but there you go. :)
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A
male
reader, Blue Rat +, writes (28 March 2007):
If you have worries about whether the other person will be "better" than you, then don't do it. A threesome can only work if neither of you has any jealousy or insecurity issues and could enjoy the whole thing without comparing yourself to the other guy or girl. You clearly have some of those issues so I don't think you're ready to do this. Also, I don't think it works as a trade-off - i.e. have threesome with another girl so that in return you can have one with another guy. Have a threesome with another person (of either gender) because you're both certain it's what you want to do and that you would enjoy the whole thing - including your partner's enjoyment of another person. Otherwise don't do it at all. But you need to be pretty certain. As Reebe says, once you've done it, you can't go back and undo it.
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A
female
reader, Reebe +, writes (27 March 2007):
 If your not happy about this then please, please don't do it. Fantasy is one thing and reality is another. Most things in your head seem a good idea til you do them!
Just explain to your boyfriend that your not comfortable with doing it and you don't want to do it. He should be able to accept this, as once you've done it there's no going back.
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Lady tinks +, writes (27 March 2007):
 don't do it then, simple. If you have any doubts whatsoever then it clearly isn't the right thing to do. Find something else that could spice up your sex life, it sounds as thogh you need it! Why does your man want a threesome anyway? its you who he is with and shouldn't even suggest that to you? still each to their own i guess. good luck x x x
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