A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I broke up with my (ex) gf the other day. I went over to her and said it to her face to face. i also said that if she wanted to give me a phone call later on, or later in the week, that it was fine, i dont mind, in case she has more questions that she didnt think of just then.But she now wants to meet up today.I want to be fair and decent about this, but i dont think its a good idea to meet up with her. My mind is absolutely made up about the break up. (We got on well, she was a nice girl - but not nice enough to spend my life with, so i ended it now.)Am i being unfair by not meeting up?Whatever we have to say now, can be done over the phone cant it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2007): in my experience its best to actually meet especially if you have feeling for her or she feels for you. this way, you will be able to tell how feel. speaking on the fone can be great. yeah, you can hear what they say, but you cant see their emotions when they speak.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2007): I agree with Stina, if she is a nice girl then you owe her that much to at least see her at least once.
Maybe it doesn't matter to you that you don't see her, but it is never nice if you get dumped and then the other person shuts you out of their life.
For me it kind of makes me think the relationship was based on a level of friendship and respect if the two people can part company on good terms or even manage to stay friends. All the best :)
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (19 March 2007):
 Hi Anonymous,
Even though you two have broken up, I think it would still be a good idea to meet up with her so that she can talk to you in person about what happened. You say that you two got along and she was nice, just not the one for you - then why would it be a problem for you to see her again to talk about what happened? I think if you want to be decent like you say, just meet up with this girl so she has a chance to tell you her feelings, as well. If you truly do have your mind made up about the break up, then what does it matter if she wants to see you? Perhaps she just needs some sort of closure - and talking about stuff like this on the phone is so impersonal - and this is something very personal - don't you think?
Take care.
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