A
female
age
41-50,
diane cragg
writes:i have left my husband and son and am sleeping with my first cousin,i have my teenage daughter with me and am living just a few yards from my husband and son.my son is very upset and thinks he and his sister will get a lot of bullying form other people.is it right to sleep with my first cousin and will people understand or will they not like it and effect my children
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cousin Reply to this Question Other similar questions:
Is it legal to sleep with your first cousin? Is it legal to have a relationship with a first cousin? |
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007): Yeah,I am so sorry for you. I just had a child with my cousin and he left me. It sucks because I can't even tell anybody that he is my babbies daddy cuz it's his uncle and I can't do nothing about it in fear of my baby getting rejected. So think of the long run. Because in the end he is just a guy and it is just going to end , but the humiliation will follow you and your family the rest of your life. I know it will follow me and my boy forever.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2007): Cousincouples.com
they help alot :]
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): Hey Di,
Just found this LOL. Knowing you as I do I know you are happier now than you have ever been. As Ive known you for so many years I know how you reached this point in your life and would say that you have done the right thing. The posters here have offered advice from the heart and the arse and its obvious which are which. I like your ex husband and have no bad words against him, but you guys had to change direction, for the reasons we dont need to discuss here. As for your cousin - nice guy. Lets hope the future is better for you and your ex! Im there for you both. Clive
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): unfortunately for you, your cousin will sleep with you and then dump you- this i am telling you from my own experience with a cousin. He was seeing another girl and having his fun there too- the B.....d
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2007): I definately wouldn't ever sleep with any of my family members. Parents sometimes have to sacrifice for their children in order for the children to have it easier and better. I think you should think about that. There are millions of other attractive men in the world that aren't your husband that you could have sex with. Don't limit your options to two people.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2007): Going back into the past it was quite common for first cousins to marry and have children. It is only in more recent times that society has a problem with it.
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A
male
reader, Belfast +, writes (2 April 2007):
Hello,
Personally I respect your wishes in what ever you want to do.
What I would ask you to think about is... Have you thought about the people who your actions are hurting... your daughter?
What your family may think, as incest and a sexual relationship can have psychological effects on family member.
If you are happy then feel free to do what you want as you are the main person in this situation... if you and your cousin plan to have children... think of the consequences that this child may suffer:
-Disability
-Bullying... living in a tough society
Have a think about my comments.
All my happiness and caring thoughts are with you at this time.
M!
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A
female
reader, diane cragg +, writes (2 April 2007):
diane cragg is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for your advice to clarify.i walked out on my husband and son leaving with out saying anything at moment i am just sleeping with him.my husband and i were arguing a lot and he would not settle into a propetr job and kept dreaming of the big score.he loves me and my daughter completely and has offered to sleep in seperate rooms and change in any way i want also to let me carry on seeing my cousin.....but i dont know if i love him anymore but know he would do exactly as he said he would because i do know he loves me and my daughter .he has not said a bad thing about me or to me about my affair or my leaving and has sent me love notes every morning.am i just with my cousin because its not my husband and im bored weve been married 21 years now
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (2 April 2007):
 Hi there Diane,
As long as the two of you are consenting adults, then there is nothing wrong with your relationship; however, having said that I do not think most people will understand.
People are afraid of what isn't society's norm for the most part. It's a shame that most people shun and/or attack (physically or verbally) others who take a less traveled path, I guess you could say. There is a chance that it will have an impact on you, as well as the rest of your family. If you're willing to face people's nastiness to be with the one who you love (do you love him, or are you just sleeping him?) then go ahead and live a happy life with this person.
Have you ever thought about going to family counseling if this is going to be a long term relationship? It might be worth it - for everyone to be heard and understood with the help of a professional.
(BTW - if you have a baby with this man, there is only about a 7% chance that it will have a disorder (having a baby with someone outside of the family is only 4%). Go ahead and speak with your doctor - s/he will be able to answer any sort of medical questions better than anyone on this website.)
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A
male
reader, mitch +, writes (2 April 2007):
I'm not entirely sure on the legal stance in the uk, but found thishttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incest#Sexual_relations_between_cousins_and_other_distant_relatives.
However from my point i think it is best to try and avoid this relationship if you can - the risk to any potential children is very high and would be so unfair on them. And the point you make about your children being bullied - perhaps that alone should be enough to seriously doubt your incestuous relationship.
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A
female
reader, Bailey J +, writes (2 April 2007):
 I’m sorry my love, no this is not right. They call this incest. If you get caught pregnant this could course your child to be severally retarded or be born with down syndrome.
Its up to you to carry on though as long as you have no children there is no risk to you or your cousin. Just be prepared to be looked at and talked about. Do think about your children though this will give other children advantage to bully them and make their lives unhappy.
Take Care
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