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Ever since I can remember people have always fascinated me. I seemed to be very adept at solving people’s “life” problems and I never tired of the constant flow of friends asking for my help. I have always been a great listener and have a lot of patience and empathy for people and have written for advice columns in the past.
I am a Relationships Councillor and Life Coach and have a special aptitude with people. I have been active on this site for a number of years. I'm very much a positive thinker and hate being around negative people. Life is for living, it's too short to moan all the time. I'm determined, very spiritual, grounded, independent, strong willed and love life. Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.
If you realized just how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought. The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
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| Latest articles: REAL Love!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 July 2010: I have written this blog a few times but I thought I'd write it in an "article", that way people can always view it. To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love"...
Some tips for a happy marriage!
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: MARRIAGE - WHAT IS EXPECTED IN A MARRIAGE? Once you marry, don’t expect everything just to fall into place. Marriage is a serious commitment but it needs to be continually worked at. Too many people today go into marriage for the wrong reasons, t...
20 questions to ask someone on a date!
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: So many of the younger ones on this site tend to be a bit tongue tied about what to ask their date so here are 20 things to ask someone on that first date. 1. What do you like to do when you're not working? 2. Where in the world would you most...
Why do you think marriages break up more now than in the past?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: Do you remember years ago when families used to sit in at nights? They had no TV, no computer games, no telephones, no DVD's, no video recorders etc etc. They had one another! They had TIME to get to know one another, to BE with one another to ...
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Is he ashamed to take me out and be seen with me?
Q. Hi folks... look at me the bore sitting in on a Saturday night!!... Okay, so I've been seeing my boyfriend for about 3 months now. We dated loads before we said we were 'official.' And in any respect, we've done the whole relationship thi...
A. 31 January 2009: What's desperate about it? You've been together now for 3 months! It's only natural you want to see the kind of guys he hangs around with and after all, he's met your mates. If it's annoying you so much (and it is to the point where you're ... (read in full...)
We're very close and act like a couple but he has a girlfriend...
Q. So, me and a guy are very close. But the thing is he has a g/f for about 2 years. We both know each other for about a year and a half. Me and him talk every day, and do everything as a couple. We are practially like a couple, but he has a g/f. When ...
A. 31 January 2009: If you are growing to like this guy (and I think you are) then you need to back off from him a little bit and NOT be as close/friendly with him as long as he has a girlfriend. Maybe once you're not there as often he'll see things clearer and ... (read in full...)
Is he ashamed to take me out and be seen with me?
Q. Hi folks... look at me the bore sitting in on a Saturday night!!... Okay, so I've been seeing my boyfriend for about 3 months now. We dated loads before we said we were 'official.' And in any respect, we've done the whole relationship thi...
A. 31 January 2009: Yes, I think you're being paranoid. Instead of letting these worries grow why don't you just ask him if you can meet some of his mates, even try to organise going to the pub with a couple of his mates and their girlfriends. He probably doesn't ... (read in full...)
I'm in love but I suspect my man is cheating, how can I catch him...?
Q. I'm in love but I suspect my man is cheating, how can I catch him...? I can't go through his phone because no one calls and he tells everyone that does call to call him back because he's with me. What do you suggest???...
A. 30 January 2009: Have you tried doing your OWN detective work and doing a little investigating of your own? One way to tell if he's cheating is to catch him lying about a matter. You can follow his eye movements to tell if he is lying. Ask more questions if he looks ... (read in full...)
I'm in love but I suspect my man is cheating, how can I catch him...?
Q. I'm in love but I suspect my man is cheating, how can I catch him...? I can't go through his phone because no one calls and he tells everyone that does call to call him back because he's with me. What do you suggest???...
A. 30 January 2009: What makes you suspicious that he may be cheating on you? How long have you been together? Do you live with him?
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Still haven't had my cycle yet and I'm beginning to fear I'm pregnant.
Q. Hello I'm 14 years old and I had sex with my boyfriend on January 15 2009 and today is January 30 2009 and I still haven't had a cycle. I'm starting to feel a little different. I really believe I am pregant. Yes I have told my boyfriend and he is ...
A. 30 January 2009: GO to your doctor and find out for sure. Make an appointment TODAY!
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Still haven't had my cycle yet and I'm beginning to fear I'm pregnant.
Q. Hello I'm 14 years old and I had sex with my boyfriend on January 15 2009 and today is January 30 2009 and I still haven't had a cycle. I'm starting to feel a little different. I really believe I am pregant. Yes I have told my boyfriend and he is ...
A. 30 January 2009: First of all you should never have been having sex at 14 years old but of course you know that and you SHOULD have been using protection! First of all you need to be sure whether you are actually pregnant or not so get that confirmed either by ... (read in full...)
I'm hurting... how can I learn to trust him again?
Q. I've been in a relationship now for 3 years and now have a 3 month old baby boy who we love amazingly, 3 months into the relationship my boyfriend went away to America and ended up extending it. I did ask if he had met someone else as it was odd, he ...
A. 30 January 2009: He needs to earn your trust back and that will take time. It seems that whenever he goes on holiday he can't keep it in his pants and up till now he's been full of empty promises! If he has nothing to hide then he will have no hesitation letting ... (read in full...)
I messed up! What can I do to get my girlfriend's trust back?
Q. My girlfriend and I tried X the drug, well her mom hates me and the step dad also. My girlfriend's mom took all her stuff away for me to contact her with we have been sneaking around to see each other, she's 17 and I'm 19. What can I do to get her ...
A. 29 January 2009: Taking drugs of any kind is not cool, (I hope you're off them now). If you truly like this girl then I suggest you send the mother a short letter explaining what an idiot you were and apologising for being so silly and immature. Let her know that ... (read in full...)
Should I make her or let her go?
Q. This is my first post on this site. I have a perplexing problem. My wife and I have some new friends. We have been going over to their home on the weekend. Sometimes it is rather docile. Sometimes it is not. We drink alcohol and chat. There are ...
A. 27 January 2009: Well done to you for being able to talk with her and getting her to THINK for herself and see sense. The best thing to do would be to stay well away from ALL of them, they're toxic! Let your wife see that she's loved and cherished by you, do other ... (read in full...)
Should I make her or let her go?
Q. This is my first post on this site. I have a perplexing problem. My wife and I have some new friends. We have been going over to their home on the weekend. Sometimes it is rather docile. Sometimes it is not. We drink alcohol and chat. There are ...
A. 27 January 2009: ***"My wife even said it today that she cannot talk to any of them about how I am being “because they would conspire against me if they knew.”*** Why on earth would you or your wife even WANT to be friends with these people?
You need to get y... (read in full...)
Help needed... I'm so screwed up at the moment I feel exhausted.
Q. Ok me and my ex split in october just gone, he dumped me to go back with the mother of his daughter, anyway that didn't work out, and we started sleeping together like once a week, as like fuck buddies. We still remain friends but, he's now ...
A. 27 January 2009: If he truly cared for you he would never screw around with anyone else let alone actually TELL you about his conquests. What a sleazeball! Get rid of him! He is probably the most serious relationship you've had to date and that's why you find it ... (read in full...)
Should I make her or let her go?
Q. This is my first post on this site. I have a perplexing problem. My wife and I have some new friends. We have been going over to their home on the weekend. Sometimes it is rather docile. Sometimes it is not. We drink alcohol and chat. There are ...
A. 27 January 2009: Then DON'T be impotent about it! Stand up for yourself and have some backbone. Have a word with the other "friends" individually when they're sober. Go round to their homes and talk to them about it and let them know not to encourage your wife. ... (read in full...)
Should I make her or let her go?
Q. This is my first post on this site. I have a perplexing problem. My wife and I have some new friends. We have been going over to their home on the weekend. Sometimes it is rather docile. Sometimes it is not. We drink alcohol and chat. There are ...
A. 27 January 2009: ***"She actually pulled out a girl's tit and sucked on both of them... She then described that she wanted to continue this while I did her and another person sucked her tits..."***
BANG OUT OF ORDER for any married woman! She is an attentio... (read in full...)
What "season" am I?
Q. What season am I, so to speak? I think this has to do with looks but i'm not sure... just curious i have long, wavy, medium brown hair with a reddish tinge dark brown eyes very pale skin (pink undertones) ummm... need i include anything else...
A. 26 January 2009: You would also need to see your skin tone and the tones of your hair. Impossible to tell without actually looking at you and putting different colours up to your face to see the shades that suit you. Go to a beauty therapist and have her tell you, ... (read in full...)
We had threesome with wife's ex and now I feel sick
Q. My wife and I had a threesome the other night with her ex boyfriend, who is also a friend of mine from high school. The two of them dated right before we got together. He was her first love, and she lost her virginity to him, but they broke up a ...
A. 26 January 2009: You both obviously talked about this for a while before it happened. For some men, the fantasy of seeing their wife with another man is a total turn on but it is just that... A FANTASY! Reality is nearly always very different. The fact you felt ... (read in full...)
Lost and Confused...Aries and Aquarius!
Q. Here is the gist of the story. I met this guy in Cali I don't live there but visit often for the past 10 years. He is a friend of a relative for six years and we've never formally met each other but had to have passed by each other countless times. ...
A. 22 January 2009: You have to do what you think is right for YOU and don't give in to your family. You said your marriage was on the rocks anyway. I suggest you tell your partner that you need some space for now and one of you move out. This is between you and ... (read in full...)
Facing 30 and very unhappy about it. Unlucky.
Q. I grew up with very little opportunities in life, I grew up poor and in a badly made house with no heating and no hot running water. I also have asthma, short eye sight, learning diffculty, depressing and low self estreem, so I found school very ...
A. 22 January 2009: Have you listened to yourself? In all due respect but you sound pathetic! 30 is not old by any means! Okay so you were poorer than most? That doesn't mean you're meant to be poor or unsuccessful all your life. Your life is what YOU make it! ... (read in full...)
How do you know when its love?
Q. How do you know when you love someone? Is their a certain way u feel? ...
A. 18 January 2009: To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love" with them but of course this can't be, they love the idea of who they are but if they've never met them then it's just ... (read in full...)
Are we in control for own our life, or we just think we are?
Q. Are we in control for own our life, or we just think we are? Can chance rule our life ? How many times do we have plans and good intentions and they get ruined by bad luck? Do we have a destiny? Is God makes this weird plans for us? Or do we alw...
A. 15 January 2009: Yes, I believe we ARE in control of our own life. As Flynn24 rightly said, it is all about freedom of choice. We are on this earth to experience and we choose what we want to do and experience through free will!
Choice and positive thinking... (read in full...)
Sex and your virginity.
Q. Hello, I want to ask... that if a women has a sexual relationship for the first time and she does not bleed, does that means that she WASN'T a virgin to begin with???...
A. 15 January 2009: Phil is right, she was obviously a virgin prior to her first sexual relationship. What you need to remember though is... not everyone's hymen bleeds when it is ruptured! It depends on how relaxed the woman feels when she is being penetrated and of ... (read in full...)
Living with an alcoholoc...
Q. hey, I am wondering if anyone can help me? I have been with my partner for over 10 years and we have 3 beautiful daughters but for the past few years he has been drinking heavily. I had finally had enough in the middle of 2008 when I was pregnant ...
A. 12 January 2009: I truly believe your partner wants to stop drinking, he just doesn't know HOW! My advice is for him to get to an AA meeting where he will meet people with the same problems as he has and he will get lots of help and encouragement to stop drinking.
... (read in full...)
Help me move on please!
Q. Hey I've recently split up from my boyfriend of 3 years and am having a really hard time. I just cannot move on from the fact that he could hurt me. Basically it's like everything he had said to me, he'd been saying to someone else the entire t...
A. 11 January 2009: Please have a look at the link below, the site is called "So you've been dumped?" There you can talk to like minded people who are in a similar situation to yourself. Whether you're the one who was dumped or the one doing the dumping, I'm sure ... (read in full...)
How do you get over a guy???
Q. Hey, I have one slight problem I have a bf and he's just gorgeous and I broke up with him because he was just a player and couldn't be with just one girl so I said that if he's gonna continue treating me like this we have to be over, well it happe...
A. 10 January 2009: You are very young and will probably have a few relationships before you settle down with the right person. Here is a link that you'll find very helpful to help you get over him and move on.
http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-a-Break-Up
~Eve~... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is a BBW, how should I have sex with her?
Q. So i need a little help. I have a girlfriend who i love and adore. We have been together for about 3 months We went to have sex soon, but im not sure how to go about it. My girlfriend is BBW. I need some advice on how to go about having sex with ...
A. 9 January 2009: Aech135 says: "...I think he's just having issues finding a position that works for them. Chill out stop attacking the guy and help him find positions that would help him enjoy the sex with his girl." No one is attacking him, he has never HAD sex ... (read in full...)
I believe I have retroactive jealousy. I cannot get over her past.
Q. I am 27 and my fiance is 25. We have only been engaged for about a month (been together for 2 years) We are also getting ready to go to Pre-Marital counseling with the pastor at our church. I have no children, she has 3 children, that I love dearly. ...
A. 8 January 2009: Jealousy is rife in the world today especially in relationships. Feelings such as jealousy are based on fear and do not come from love at all, we say we feel like this BECAUSE we love the person but this isn't the case at all. Jealousy comes from ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is a BBW, how should I have sex with her?
Q. So i need a little help. I have a girlfriend who i love and adore. We have been together for about 3 months We went to have sex soon, but im not sure how to go about it. My girlfriend is BBW. I need some advice on how to go about having sex with ...
A. 8 January 2009: Shame on you Flynn!!! Bigger women can be terrific lovers on top OR underneath! Why should he get her to slim down? He told you he absolutely adores her. Treat her like any other woman poster and just have fun. (Remember to use protection though ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is acting, untouchy!!
Q. My girlfriend is acting, untouchy? So today my girlfriend was acting rather odd, on the phone last night before she went to work she told me she hearted me, (She nevers says that first) then at the end of our phone convo last night she told me not t...
A. 8 January 2009: I would definitely look to this as a red flag. I remember back in my teens telling my then boyfriend that I didn't want him to kiss me sometimes. Why? I was going off him! Soon after, we split up. Your girlfriend has something (or someone) else ... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to finger me?
Q. How do I get my boyfriend to finger me? I have tried to bring his hand down there to touch me, but he just stops. What should I do or say to get him to finger me?...
A. 5 January 2009: He obviously doesn't feel ready to go that far. He may well be one of the very few old fashioned guys left that prefers to take things slowly and just respects you too much. I would leave it for now and concentrate on getting to know one another ... (read in full...)
Is this a good reason to marry? Will the marriage last?
Q. i have a daughter who is nearly ten and she is an only child at present not only for me but also for her father. three years ago my exes dad died after a long illness and then just over a year ago his mum died suddenly. i found out just aft...
A. 4 January 2009: He hasn't seen your daughter in a long while, whether you and your daughter lost touch, he moved or for whatever reason, she is only 10 years old so he's said he was "lonely" as a simple answer to her most probable questions. (You know how curious ... (read in full...)
I'm suffering with bi polar disorder...
Q. Hello all - I have posted before and just really need some encouragement. I suffer with bi-polar disorder and I'm having a very rough day today. As I'm writing I'm crying because I feel so overwhelmed with EVERYTHING my depression my family, house ...
A. 4 January 2009: Seems the link I gave you didn't work. Click on this link instead and look at the Wisdom Flash entitled "The Journey" by Neale Donald Walsch. There are lots of others here that you also might find interesting.
http:... (read in full...)
I'm suffering with bi polar disorder...
Q. Hello all - I have posted before and just really need some encouragement. I suffer with bi-polar disorder and I'm having a very rough day today. As I'm writing I'm crying because I feel so overwhelmed with EVERYTHING my depression my family, house ...
A. 4 January 2009: I'm sorry you're not feeling great at the moment, I can feel your pain but you have to move FORWARD! Don't keep thinking about the past, it's exactly that... the past! No amount of thinking or worrying about it is going to change what happened ... (read in full...)
She always gets a nasty feeling after an orgasm
Q. So my girlfriend an I have been along the lines of 2nd base for a bit (touching below and above waist) I have made her orgasm by fingering several times, she has tried to jack me off but we're getting to that. That's not my question though, when I ...
A. 4 January 2009: Most women's genitals after orgasm are very very sensitive to touch (men's are too). In your girlfriend's case, I think hers are just extra sensitive and the thought of anything entering inside her AFTER orgasm is just a turn off because of the ... (read in full...)
He's married - is it still possible for me to have a friendship with him?
Q. I met a (married) guy quite some time ago, and he was recently working in the town where I live in. I stopped by to see him while he was working (he asked me to). When I saw him, he seemed quite flustered when we were chatting. We were planning on ...
A. 3 January 2009: "Honestly, I'm completely smitten with him." - Definition of SMITTEN: affected by something overwhelming; conscience-smitten; awe-struck, enamoured: marked by foolish or unreasoning fondness.
Now to answer your question... Even if you wouldn't... (read in full...)
I'm scared of losing the relationship we have now and also our friendship if I tell him about my feelings.
Q. I'm 21 years old and I have never been in a relationship. In the past year I have become close to a old work friend, about 7 months ago we slept together and it was my first time. After the first time we slept together we had a big argument because ...
A. 1 January 2009: Then go back to being friends with him WITHOUT the benefits! You will never meet or even want anyone else while you're still seeing him and seeing him in this way is only causing you emptiness and pain. If he's any friend at all then he'll still ... (read in full...)
Exercising the hard way!
Q. What would happen if I only eat one mango every day and nothing else and exercised 3 hours on my treadmill at 6.5 km per hour? I want to lose weight and I've tried doing it the healthy way but it never works!x...
A. 1 January 2009: If you only eat a mango a day then sure, you'll lose weight but it won't be fat you're losing, it will be fluid and vital muscle tissue and as soon as you begin to eat normally again (which you will as you can't live on mangos for the rest of your ... (read in full...)
I'm scared of losing the relationship we have now and also our friendship if I tell him about my feelings.
Q. I'm 21 years old and I have never been in a relationship. In the past year I have become close to a old work friend, about 7 months ago we slept together and it was my first time. After the first time we slept together we had a big argument because ...
A. 1 January 2009: To him, having sex with you is only a release! He's using you I'm afraid. When a woman sleeps with a man emotions nearly always kick in and they start developing feelings for the person but men are different. He's already made it plain to you ... (read in full...)
Where is the best spot to stimulate a woman?
Q. Quick question: What is the best spot to stimulate on a woman. The inside of the vagina in general, the g-spot specifically, or the clitoris. I realize a combination of them are needed I would just like to know which is the most important....
A. 1 January 2009: All women are different and what turns one woman on doesn't necessarily do it for another. The best thing to do is to ASK her or listen when you make love to her, I'm sure she'll let you know when you're hitting the right spot! Have fun and ... (read in full...)
How to get my husband to loosen up and enjoy sex?
Q. I will soon be getting married to a Ugandan man, and our relationship is wonderful. I sometimes worry that he will be very withheld during sex and will be very conservative. He was raised in Uganda, basically as one of those kids you'd hear about...
A. 1 January 2009: Don't be embarrassed to talk about sex together. I assume it will be his first time so he might be a bit nervous so concentrate on making him feel comfortable and at ease with you. You sound as if you love him very much, I don't think there's ... (read in full...)
Is it time to give up on this relationship?
Q. Hi, I will keep this as short as i can,it is quite long story. I had to go into hospital, this was approx 4 yrs ago because of my marriage break down, I was suffering from severe depression. I met a guy while i was there, he was also in for de...
A. 1 January 2009: I have to agree with the girls on this one, first of all you need to concentrate and put YOURSELF first here. You met this guy on the rebound and fell into a relationship with him for all the wrong reasons. You have given him lots of chances and ... (read in full...)
Do I have trust issues or am I right to worry?
Q. So I'm not officially in a relationship with this guy, but we're very much a couple. For new years, he is planning on going to Whistler (a ski resort in Canada) with his best friend who is a huge major player. I trust my guy but when he's drinking ...
A. 29 December 2008: I'm afraid I can't add anything to what Eddie has already said. His answer is spot on and very informative. TRUST is the key here. Great advice Eddie!
~Eve~... (read in full...)
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