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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: i have a daughter who is nearly ten and she is an only child at present not only for me but also for her father.three years ago my exes dad died after a long illness and then just over a year ago his mum died suddenly.i found out just after this christmas that my ex has now got married and my automatic thought was that he felt he had no family left and this woman was around for him.my daughter confirmed this as she had stayed with him for a few days at christmas and he actually told her that was the reaspn why he married his wife, his words were that he was lonely now that he did not have a mum or dad and that was why he married.he did not say that the reason was love to my daughter which i found strange. does anyone think this is a good reason to marry someone and does anyone think this sounds to be a lasting marriage??thanks all x
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy daughter did not ask him, she told me he exlained why and that was that his mum and dad had died and he was lonely, so married his now wife. I don't know why he couldn't have said he married because that is what you do when you are in love and I think it is a much easier explanation than to say what he said....
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (4 January 2009):
 He hasn't seen your daughter in a long while, whether you and your daughter lost touch, he moved or for whatever reason, she is only 10 years old so he's said he was "lonely" as a simple answer to her most probable questions. (You know how curious kids can be). Whether she asked or whether he offered the information, he's did it in a way that he felt was an appropriate answer her. It could well have been because he was lonely or it may well be because he loves her. Only HE can really answer that question, you and I can only speculate.
~Eve~
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou befuddled1 and oscars mummy for your advice and i guess eyeswideopen and honeypie eventually. I never said i didnt still care, i was asking if anyone thought it was a strange thing to say rather than simply he loved her....but thanks all, i appreciate all thoughts and opinions x
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female
reader, Befuddled1 +, writes (4 January 2009):
 by the way...my dad and this woman...whom he had an affair with divorced after 13 years of marriage, he left her for another woman too.
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female
reader, Befuddled1 +, writes (4 January 2009):
When i was a child...about your daughters age, my dad remarried and i remember being very upset and jealous. My dad said he was getting married because his girlfriend wanted to and that she had pushed him into it. i think he told me this because he wanted to spare me in some way. my mum was still in love with him and it was the hardest thing in the world to see her hurt and upset. In my humble opinion you should encourage a healthy happy relationship between this woman and your child and try to be friends with your ex....It really does make all the difference to your daughter to see you act this way and will make her happy....after all ...she is the one that matters in the end, and will help her to have healthy relationships herself.Eventually you WILL be able to move onGood luck
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (4 January 2009):
 Quote*** i didnt ask her to, he didnt even tell my daughter he had got married, she saw the wedding pictures in thier house, simple explanation, what about marrying for love? how simple is that!!***
Yes, that is very odd indeed that he didn't tell either of you he was getting married. And yes, saying I married her cause I love her might have been more understandable.
It's hard to guess as to why he chose to say what he did or do what he did. But hope, since your daughter will be around her that she is a good woman.
Lots of people marry out of fear of being alone, they just don't admit it. But usually there is a little more to it then that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell it is obvious im sure that i still have feelings for him and ys im gutted that he has got married, so my daughter telling me what he said to her about marrying because he was lonely did not seem to me to be for the 'right' reasons, but thankyou anonymous for you reply without the judgement on how im feeling!
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 January 2009):
 People don't always marry for love, I mean let's be real. Sometimes love comes into the relationship after marriage. You can explain your views on marriage to your daughter if she seems confused but what really is at issue is that you are so very interested in your ex and his marriage. Again I ask why do you care as to what his reasons were? He is your ex.
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female
reader, OSCARS MUMMY +, writes (4 January 2009):
 i think he was foolish to say that to his daughter like you say it can put wrong ideas and ideals in her mind but you can change that over the years. Perhaps he didnt like to tell her that he actually loves this woman incase it upset you daughter and inturn you? Maybe hes just trying to please everyone and making a complete mess of it.
Perhaps this new woman will make him grow up and face responsibility after all he is seeing his daughter again. You could take him to one side and tell him what you know - like you said just because you dont want your daughter getting the wrong idea. Then leave it at that aslong as he sees your daughter and she is happy thats the main thing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoh really you know him do you?? what have i put that made you come to that conclusion that he is a good dad? he saw her at christmas for the first time in nine monthes because he couldnt be bothered to see her!! and saying you married someone because you are lonely is not exactly letting a child know you are marrying for the right reasons, whats wrong with simply saying you love that person!!
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 January 2009):
What difference does it make to you as to why he got married? He sounds like he is a good father to your daughter so be grateful for that and get busy with your own life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni didnt ask her to, he didnt even tell my daughter he had got married, she saw the wedding pictures in thier house, simple explanation, what about marrying for love? how simple is that!!
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (4 January 2009):
Don't send a child to do a grown woman's work:) If you want to know, ASK him, don't involve your daughter.
He might have explained it that way to your daughter, because it was a nice and simple explanation that a child would accept. Maybe he married her for all the reasons stated but that is his life and his choice.
Are you not quite over him?
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