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Ever since I can remember people have always fascinated me. I seemed to be very adept at solving people’s “life” problems and I never tired of the constant flow of friends asking for my help. I have always been a great listener and have a lot of patience and empathy for people and have written for advice columns in the past.
I am a Relationships Councillor and Life Coach and have a special aptitude with people. I have been active on this site for a number of years. I'm very much a positive thinker and hate being around negative people. Life is for living, it's too short to moan all the time. I'm determined, very spiritual, grounded, independent, strong willed and love life. Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.
If you realized just how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought. The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
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| Latest articles: REAL Love!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 July 2010: I have written this blog a few times but I thought I'd write it in an "article", that way people can always view it. To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love"...
Some tips for a happy marriage!
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: MARRIAGE - WHAT IS EXPECTED IN A MARRIAGE? Once you marry, don’t expect everything just to fall into place. Marriage is a serious commitment but it needs to be continually worked at. Too many people today go into marriage for the wrong reasons, t...
20 questions to ask someone on a date!
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: So many of the younger ones on this site tend to be a bit tongue tied about what to ask their date so here are 20 things to ask someone on that first date. 1. What do you like to do when you're not working? 2. Where in the world would you most...
Why do you think marriages break up more now than in the past?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: Do you remember years ago when families used to sit in at nights? They had no TV, no computer games, no telephones, no DVD's, no video recorders etc etc. They had one another! They had TIME to get to know one another, to BE with one another to ...
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What does my boyfriend's dream mean?
Q. Okay my boyfriend woke up one day and called me and told me his dream, him and his ex arent exactly friends anymore due to her eager fighting ways and well she is suicidal at times, he woke up and told me he had a dream and I asked him to text me it ...
A. 10 September 2011: You're very welcome. Glad I was able to help.
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Is this simply a case of him wanting the best of both worlds?
Q. Ok so if I was to explain the story in full, you'd be reading for a loooong time, so i'l try to keep it brief! basically, me and my ex were together for 3 and a half years and, to my knowledge, everything was great, we had talked about spending the ...
A. 2 December 2010: It could be that he's only had one serious relationship... (You!) He's curious and is wanting to see if the grass is greener on the other side. How do you expect him to take you seriously and remain loyal to you when you're still "giving to him" ... (read in full...)
What does my boyfriend's dream mean?
Q. Okay my boyfriend woke up one day and called me and told me his dream, him and his ex arent exactly friends anymore due to her eager fighting ways and well she is suicidal at times, he woke up and told me he had a dream and I asked him to text me it ...
A. 28 November 2010: Being at the foot of water symbolizes your unconscious and your emotional state of mind. He needs to "stay on top" of his emotions and not let them explode out of hand. Him being constantly reminded by her friends and family just confirms in his ... (read in full...)
My "friend" stole the girl I love...
Q. Well what do you think when your friend takes the girl your in love with even if you weren't dating this girl. I have been interested in this girl for longer than most people would have interest for. I have liked her for about 6 months and hav...
A. 21 November 2010: You could send an email to he Facebook (more personal and no one else sees it) and ask her if she had a good time when she was out of town. Tell her you've been meaning to send her an email and ask her if she fancies hanging out one day/night. If ... (read in full...)
Getting married soon and have never had sex before... Help!
Q. hi im 23 years old and about to get married to my boyfriend. We haven't had sex before. The problem is that i dont know anything about sex, how does this operation start, what happens in it, how does it end, what is the couple doing during it,...
A. 21 November 2010: It's perfectly normal to feel the way you do. Let your boyfriend (soon to be your husband) know of your fears. If he knows you've never had sex before then it will be very special for both of you when it happens. If he's the loving "husband" he ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to prove he's been cheating on me?
Q. I think my boyfriend is cheating on me. I was tidying his room today and found a reciept for a hotel room from 2 weeks ago, 6 Nov 10. The hotel is in the city centre which is about 10 minutes from his house so I know he wouldn't have stayed there ...
A. 21 November 2010: You come straight out and ask him about it... simple! There could be a very simple explanation for it. Why put yourself through all of this turmoil when all you need to do is ask him. You'll be able to tell by his reactions and body language ... (read in full...)
Are my reasons for wanting to end this whole thing and never enter into a relationship with him again reasonable?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend of four months around one month ago. We had been friends for three years before finally deciding to go out, so we decided to go back to being friends. It turned out that we ended up being "friends with benefits". ...
A. 21 November 2010: Yes, this guy is DEFINITELY using you! He's turning on the charm when he feels horny so he can have his wicked way with you but he has no respect for you at all or he wouldn't treat you the way he does, especially in front of others.
You s... (read in full...)
Why do you think marriages break up more now than in the past?
Q. Do you remember years ago when families used to sit in at nights? They had no TV, no computer games, no telephones, no DVD's, no video recorders etc etc. They had one another! They had TIME to get to know one another, to BE with one another to ...
A. 9 November 2010: Thanks for that Natalie. If people would just wisen up and use their minds, think for themselves, continue to take in knowledge and not be so easily led then it would make for a much better world.
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Could someone please explain his actions?
Q. Please can you help me decipher what is going on in this man's head and where did it all go wrong? Sorry, if it's long but I need to document all the facts. A year ago I meet a man through a mutual friend. He adds me on Facebook and sends me a m...
A. 9 November 2010: It may be that he thinks you're too much like hard work. How were you when you were together? Were you chatty, friendly and talkative?
Personally, I think he's letting you heal. He's possibly waiting on YOU to make the next move if you're s... (read in full...)
What if I'm imagining all the flirting between my married teacher and me?
Q. i reallly like my male teacher, but he is married. with a 2 year old daughter. i have heard rumors that he kinda creeps on his students but has never done anything sexual with him. i really want to do something with him and i'm afraid he will reject ...
A. 9 November 2010: You are old enough to know the consequences of doing ANYTHING with him! He's married, he has a family and he's YOUR teacher! Act your age and go and look for someone else to "do something with" and stop listening to rumours.
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Should I give him an ultimatum?
Q. I have been living with Mr. Lebanese(nickname) for 2 years now. However, he is engaged as requested by his parents to someone she barely know (they just see each other if he's going for vacation which is 10 days a year). He's been engagged before we ...
A. 30 October 2010: Why on earth would you move in with someone who is committed to someone else? I would move out until he decides who it is he wants (NOT who his parents want him to be with!) He's an adult and should be making his own choices. You continuing to ... (read in full...)
The relationship changed after we slept together
Q. Hello all, I used to be the greatest girl ever. The one who was cute, sweet, sexy, smart and funny. He was contacting me on a daily basis and every time we went out together it was clear that we liked each other very much. I am not the kind of ...
A. 4 October 2010: Read back what you said in the beginning of your letter. You were confident, assertive, fun to be with... you were your OWN person and that is what attracted him to you. You started dating him and he loved your company then eventually when intimacy ... (read in full...)
Compatible star signs?
Q. My question is to Sag women in relationships with Aries men. Accoding to the experts, Aries is supposed to be our most compatible sign. I've heard Aries men are short tempered, have child-like tantrums and have anger management problems. I've read ...
A. 9 September 2010: I don't find sun signs trivial at all! In fact they can be very helpful when helping a couple with a relationship problem. What you have to remember is that their sign is only a GUIDE to the personality of the real person of a certain sign, it can ... (read in full...)
Help me translate what he meant by his comment!
Q. Hey, so I need some help to translate a comment this guy made. I know him through work, he asked me out at the weekend, had a great time, went to a movie. Then asked me out again last night. Again, had a great time. He sent me a text saying ...
A. 7 September 2010: You know when you're older and you really fall for someone you say "I feel like a teenager again?" THAT'S what he's trying to tell you! He enjoys your company, he enjoys being around you, you make him feel like a kid again... All sounds very ... (read in full...)
Evidence that he's looked at escort sites and had a Craiglist ad
Q. Hi everyone. Have been reading the site because I'm just so lost right now. I ended things with my boyfriend of 10 months earlier this week. There have been some trust issues in the past which I guess is what led up to this. This past Tues...
A. 5 September 2010: You found the evidence in his trash bin, confronted him and he didn't like it so he tried to undermine your intelligence by concocting a story about hackers to get him off the hook. He's cleverly thought on his feet and twisted things to make YOU ... (read in full...)
Living with my husband and in his deceased wifes shadow.
Q. Hello I am in my late 30's and am married to a man in his early 40's. My husband lost his beloved wife from breast cancer in 2007 after 15 years of marriage. He has two young children from his first marriage who I adore and have formed a very st...
A. 4 September 2010: I am so sorry to read what happened to you. You have been a rock for him through all of this but the sad fact is he met you far too soon and wasn't over his wife's death when you got together.
His problem is that deep down he doesn't want to ... (read in full...)
Opinions on what true love is?
Q. what is true love?...
A. 22 August 2010: To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love" with them but of course this can't be, they love the idea of who they are but if they've never met them then it's just ... (read in full...)
How do I convince my friend she is being so stupid to go out with a much older man?
Q. Okay so my friend met this guy on myspace who wants to "take her out." usually i wouldnt care so much only my friend is 13 and he is 27. she says "i dont care i need affection blah blah blah". I'm trying to convince her that she is being stupid but ...
A. 8 August 2010: Does he know how old she is? Best idea would be for her NOT to see him. If she really wants to go ahead then I would suggest that you ask her if you can go with her. A man of 27 would NEVER be interested in a child of 13 unless he has an ulterior ... (read in full...)
How can I find proof of his cheating IF he is cheating?
Q. Dear cupid, how can I know if my man is cheating on me or has just grown cold?...
A. 8 August 2010: Have you tried doing your OWN detective work and doing a little investigating of your own? One way to tell if he's cheating is to catch him lying about a matter. You can follow his eye movements to tell if he is lying. Ask more questions if he looks ... (read in full...)
REAL Love!
Q. I have written this blog a few times but I thought I'd write it in an "article", that way people can always view it. To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love"...
A. 18 July 2010: Life is all about "experiencing" and if we want to experience true love then I feel we need to take chances. I know I wouldn't have missed it for the world! Sometimes it lasts, sometimes it doesn't but it's the experience we take away with us ... (read in full...)
REAL Love!
Q. I have written this blog a few times but I thought I'd write it in an "article", that way people can always view it. To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love"...
A. 16 July 2010: Thank you for the added info Soul4Real. I know EXACTLY what love is and I am definitely NOT spiritually blind!
"Love is love whether it's between partners or family members, Eve you missed the point." - I got your point very well. Love IS love ... (read in full...)
REAL Love!
Q. I have written this blog a few times but I thought I'd write it in an "article", that way people can always view it. To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love"...
A. 14 July 2010: "Is it possible for someone to love or be in love and still do things to hurt the other person?" - Yes unfortunately, we're ALL imperfect human beings so we can still unintentionally hurt others.
"Is it possible for a selfish person to love whe... (read in full...)
He walked out promising to get in touch the next evening but I haven't heard from him.
Q. I have been with my man for 6 months , he moved in a few weeks ago, to keep it short, he was doing a job for my boss, which they argued about, he walked out on me the same evening, promising to talk the next day, he didnt and since then i have had ...
A. 8 July 2010: I would just show up on spec at his place but take a friend with you just in case. Give him his belongings and get yours, ask him for an explanation and if he doesn't talk turn and leave... sorted!
~Eve~... (read in full...)
He walked out promising to get in touch the next evening but I haven't heard from him.
Q. I have been with my man for 6 months , he moved in a few weeks ago, to keep it short, he was doing a job for my boss, which they argued about, he walked out on me the same evening, promising to talk the next day, he didnt and since then i have had ...
A. 6 July 2010: You're right it WAS nothing to do with you so he shouldn't take things out on you. He owes you an explanation if nothing else and if he can't at least do that then in my opinion he's not worth staying with. Would you want to continue to live with ... (read in full...)
He walked out promising to get in touch the next evening but I haven't heard from him.
Q. I have been with my man for 6 months , he moved in a few weeks ago, to keep it short, he was doing a job for my boss, which they argued about, he walked out on me the same evening, promising to talk the next day, he didnt and since then i have had ...
A. 6 July 2010: Whatever happened between him and your boss has obviously really upset him. It might be a good idea to have a word with your boss to see what happened. Meanwhile he's let you know that he'll get in touch when he's ready so I would give him a few ... (read in full...)
Is there anybody out there like us?
Q. Me and my best friend are extremely close to one another. I am a straight girl and he is gay. We do every thing together and are happy with life. Everybody including his mom say we act like a couple. His mom swears that we are in love but in denial. ...
A. 18 June 2010: It sounds to me as if you have met your "karmic soul mate." This kind of soul mate is someone with whom you have a special bond, a friendship based on a deep understanding of the other person. It could be a brother, sister, parent, cousin or in ... (read in full...)
Am I betraying my friend by being friendly towards the wife of the man she is involved with?
Q. In November 09, my friend (who we'll call Jess) of 15 years and I went to the pub, she is married and i'm single, and we met 2 guys, i met the single one and she met the married one, (who we'll call Tom) me and single one got it on, thats over now, ...
A. 17 June 2010: I would tell your friend Jess to take a reality check and grow up. She's playing with fire here and putting her own marriage and Tom's in jeopardy. Let her know that you are not taking sides on this but if she's not careful it's all going to blow ... (read in full...)
Tired of receiving mixed messages... How can I find out if he likes me or not, once and for all?
Q. I have been liking this one particular guy for a while, and I could tell he liked me back. We went to prom together and a lot of people began rumors that we might've been together. That's false. And he's done everything that literally every girl ...
A. 17 June 2010: Cut the guy some slack! Give him space. If he likes you and thinks about you then he'll come to you. The more you text him looking for the answers YOU want, the more pressure you're putting on him and he's backing off big time.
Remem... (read in full...)
I have lost myself.......
Q. I have lost myself. I have been married for nearly 14 years. When I met my wife I was confident, full of vision and energy. I was positive, upbeat, hilariously funny. I had faith, I had a zeal for life I had friends. Flash forward to today and ...
A. 16 June 2010: I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a tough time in your life right now. Life is a challenge at the best of times but know that you’re not alone, lots of people feel the same way you do and have gone on to pick themselves up and find that zest ... (read in full...)
Fast approaching 30, is life passing me by?
Q. Stuck in a rut with nowhere to turn... I am 29 yrs old, turning 30 in a few weeks. I have been in 2 longterm relationships, however both have ended with not alot to show but heartache. In my first relationship i fell pregnant but had a terminat...
A. 21 April 2010: 30 isn't old by any means. You're a mature adult now with the world at your feet! You have no baggage and can go anywhere you want to. Look at your maturity as a challenge and not an obstacle. You have your health and your strength, good ... (read in full...)
Worried that my over protective father won't accept my boyfriend but tired of living a lie!
Q. I have a boyfriend he's 27 years old I'm deeply in love with him I live with my dad and he don't want me to have any boyfriend untill I'm 30. he treats me like a 2 years old girl the only way I could go out it's when I'm going to church or school. ...
A. 21 April 2010: I'm sorry to hear you lost your mom. Your dad is only being protective of you. Remember he lost his wife in that earthquake and he doesn't want to lose you too soon either (to another man). Have you mentioned him at all to your dad? If not you ... (read in full...)
Obsessed with my housemate!
Q. I'm not one to usually share but am slowly driving myself crazy with this problem. I moved in to a house share about 2years ago and it was great except I soon fancied one of my housemates. Despite getting on great he never showed any obvious signs ...
A. 21 April 2010: The best thing to do is to remain on friendly terms with him. Ask him if he wants to hang out (as friends) somewhere, maybe go to a movie or a pizza and try to bond more with him without coming on to him. Try having serious chats with him about ... (read in full...)
I'm so scared that my life is going to be ruined!
Q. I don't know what to do. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 months now and almost a month ago we did it one time without a condom; he pulled out.. I'm so scared. I haven't started and am almost a week late. My periods are irregular tho so ...
A. 21 April 2010: Let's hope it's a false alarm. ALWAYS wear a condom to be on the safe side, this also protects you from any diseases too. Don't stress out about it too much though as stress can cause your period to be late too. Wait another week then go for that ... (read in full...)
My bf and his ex still keep in contact several times a week!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. He was with his previous gf for almost two. He broke up with her due to her insane jealousy. They still however email, text and talk on the phone 2-3 times weekly. I am incredibly bothered...
A. 19 April 2010: He's not over his ex yet no matter what he says to you. He's with you but I get the feeling he's hoping that things can be reignited again with this ex. If he truly loved you then he would never be in touch with this ex as often. How would he ... (read in full...)
I'm scared she is going to drink herself to death if I don't do anything...plz help me help her!!!!!
Q. i absolutely don't know what to do! i have been living with my aunt for over 10 years since my mother works overseas. i have recently noticed that she has been heavily drinking and it is getting worse day by day. i've tried talking to her abo...
A. 19 April 2010: If she refuses to go to AA meetings then it may be because she doesn't think she has a problem. Only when she realises her drinking IS a problem then will she have a hope of remaining sober. If she doesn't want to go because of the language ... (read in full...)
I'm worried I might have set my standards too high and I will never meet anyone who is right for me!
Q. Hello, I hope you guys can help. I am almost 25 and a virgin. I can't quite find anyone who is good enough to a) have sex with b) have a REAL relationship with. It's just that I feel as if I have waited for the right guy but all the m...
A. 19 April 2010: Sometimes if you're too keen to find someone then you find it never happens, chances are if you loosen up a little and just think "what the heck, I'm going to get on with my life and not concentrate as much on this elusive guy" then THAT'S when you ... (read in full...)
Has she been put off sex for good?
Q. Me and my girlfriend of 9months went to have sex for the first time after a long night together, but it didn't really work. We started very slowly as i know she was nervous but as i went to enter her i had to push reasonably hard (she is quite ...
A. 11 April 2010: You need to have plenty of foreplay before actual intercourse in order to warm her up a little. She's been much to nervous and tense. Set the mood with nice soft music and maybe candlelight so she can totally relax.
~Eve~... (read in full...)
My girlfriend won't give me the same chance she gave her past boyfriends.
Q. So I've been with my girlfriend for a while now. I truly am in love with her and she says she's in love with me. Not too long ago, she told me that she had anal sex with two other guys. she only tried it though, she didn't do it over and over. this ...
A. 1 April 2010: Make a deal with her, YOU can try it on me if I can try it on you. That might make you reconsider... Seriously I don't know what the big deal is. A woman has a perfectly good "opening" for you to make love to her, why should you even bother about ... (read in full...)
How do you stop jealousy?
Q. How do you stop jealousy? There's a girl I'm great friends with and I really like her but she's not interested. It's really painful to hear her talking about going on dates and the sex she's having and stuff. To make matters worse she keeps going ...
A. 27 March 2010: Jealousy is rife in the world today especially in relationships. Feelings such as jealousy are based on fear and do not come from love at all, we say we feel like this BECAUSE we love the person but this isn't the case at all. Jealousy comes from ... (read in full...)
Help! What does this dream signify?
Q. i was wondering if anyone could interpret this dream for me? i would really like to know what it means i was at a playground i don't know why cause im 15 but it was only me and this other girl that i happen to like. in real life i am shy but ...
A. 9 February 2010: You have been feeling as you are getting older you have more responsibilities in your life, possibly a lot of stress is building up within yourself, the family, girls, schoolwork etc. Dreaming of a playground indicates your want to escape from ... (read in full...)
My husband has a serious drinking problem
Q. i've been married for 10 years; my husband has a drinking problem and it's worsening. He has promised to attend AA meetings. I'm thinking of leaving him. Is it right to leave him at this point when he has promised to attend AA meetings?...
A. 4 February 2010: Alcoholism is a serious illness. IF he is serious about this and has decided to get help with his alcoholism then he will need your support. Tell him you can go along with him if he would like that. There are also meetings at Alanon that loved ... (read in full...)
Her sexual desire has gone, help me find it again...
Q. my wife has really gone off sex and seems somewhat distant. ever since we got back together after she cheated on me nearly 2 yrs ago our love life has been slowly sliding sideways. she does tell me that she loves me more than anything and she doesnt ...
A. 2 February 2010: Try this when you're NOT working away from home...
A great way to bring the passion back into a marriage is to CHALLENGE ONE ANOTHER - NO SEX FOR 2 WEEKS! Talk about it and draw up a chart together. I will base this on a 2 week sex abstenti... (read in full...)
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