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Ever since I can remember people have always fascinated me. I seemed to be very adept at solving people’s “life” problems and I never tired of the constant flow of friends asking for my help. I have always been a great listener and have a lot of patience and empathy for people and have written for advice columns in the past.
I am a Relationships Councillor and Life Coach and have a special aptitude with people. I have been active on this site for a number of years. I'm very much a positive thinker and hate being around negative people. Life is for living, it's too short to moan all the time. I'm determined, very spiritual, grounded, independent, strong willed and love life. Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.
If you realized just how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought. The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
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| Latest articles: REAL Love!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 July 2010: I have written this blog a few times but I thought I'd write it in an "article", that way people can always view it. To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love"...
Some tips for a happy marriage!
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: MARRIAGE - WHAT IS EXPECTED IN A MARRIAGE? Once you marry, don’t expect everything just to fall into place. Marriage is a serious commitment but it needs to be continually worked at. Too many people today go into marriage for the wrong reasons, t...
20 questions to ask someone on a date!
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: So many of the younger ones on this site tend to be a bit tongue tied about what to ask their date so here are 20 things to ask someone on that first date. 1. What do you like to do when you're not working? 2. Where in the world would you most...
Why do you think marriages break up more now than in the past?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: Do you remember years ago when families used to sit in at nights? They had no TV, no computer games, no telephones, no DVD's, no video recorders etc etc. They had one another! They had TIME to get to know one another, to BE with one another to ...
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Her sexual desire has gone, help me find it again...
Q. my wife has really gone off sex and seems somewhat distant. ever since we got back together after she cheated on me nearly 2 yrs ago our love life has been slowly sliding sideways. she does tell me that she loves me more than anything and she doesnt ...
A. 2 February 2010: Try this when you're NOT working away from home...
A great way to bring the passion back into a marriage is to CHALLENGE ONE ANOTHER - NO SEX FOR 2 WEEKS! Talk about it and draw up a chart together. I will base this on a 2 week sex abstenti... (read in full...)
I don't think, I can forgive to my husband for his sexual let down.
Q. I don't think, I can forgive to my husband for his sexual let down. He totally cooled out a few years ago, and has problems with psychological erectile dysfunction. I mean he is healthy, but not able to hold an erection. But no diabetes or anything ...
A. 2 February 2010: Your kids are not kids any more, they're adults so they shouldn't stop you doing what you want to do. You and hubby need to set time aside and do something TOGETHER, take some quality time out alone together just the two of you. (When was the last ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a married man, he wants sex, but if I give it he might break up with me
Q. i am dating this married guy, i am married too. i am 18 years old and he is 32. i know is kinda crazy but im really attracted to him. we met by our job, it was my first time i worked and damm! it happened, i am so into him, maybe is because i have ...
A. 2 February 2010: This is all a big game to you isn't it? You are getting sound advice from all the aunts/uncles here but you're just not listening. It is only a matter of time before you break up not just your own precious family but the married man's too. You ... (read in full...)
I don't think, I can forgive to my husband for his sexual let down.
Q. I don't think, I can forgive to my husband for his sexual let down. He totally cooled out a few years ago, and has problems with psychological erectile dysfunction. I mean he is healthy, but not able to hold an erection. But no diabetes or anything ...
A. 2 February 2010: How long have you been married? Were you both crazy about one another at one time? And how old are your children? Is he a good father and does he spend time with the kids? Have you ever tried to talk to him about how you're feeling? If you don't ... (read in full...)
I need christian advice about living together.
Q. I need the christian advice. I have been dating "Ted" for 6 months now and he is a wonderful man. He is so important and special to me. Due to the economy a couple of months ago, his business failed and he needed to find somewhere to live. Due to ...
A. 1 February 2010: If you are both christians then by rights you should not be living under the same roof if you are not married. There are too many temptations from you both being alone together to sleep with one another. But you say you HAVE already been having ... (read in full...)
She was a virgin and I was a virgin, I lied about being a virgin and she found out. What do I do?
Q. Hello, I met this girl and we hit off, we became really close freinds and had a strong connection emotionally. She told me she had been sexually abused as a child by her father and had a boyfreind for 4 yrs, because i was a 23 year old virgin and ...
A. 27 January 2010: I would make one final attempt and send that letter. DON'T bring up the past, respect her wishes about that. All you need to say is that you want her to know that you loved her for who she was and getting your way with her was NEVER your ... (read in full...)
How can I get my 7 year old to stay in bed and sleep???
Q. Hi i know this is a site about relationships, and this problem is about my relationship with my 7 year old daughter in a round about way. I'm at the end of my tether with her at bed time, for the first few years she went to bed with no trouble, but ...
A. 27 January 2010: I'm so glad things have worked out for you. Keep up the good work.
~Eve~... (read in full...)
She was a virgin and I was a virgin, I lied about being a virgin and she found out. What do I do?
Q. Hello, I met this girl and we hit off, we became really close freinds and had a strong connection emotionally. She told me she had been sexually abused as a child by her father and had a boyfreind for 4 yrs, because i was a 23 year old virgin and ...
A. 27 January 2010: A word of warning... I don't know if she would be too happy at seeing the link to this page. The fact that you have shared with the internet that she's been sexually abused in the past by her own father might not go down too well with her and hurt ... (read in full...)
We say some rally nasty things to each other.
Q. Hi all, just thought id come on here to vent a few of my frustrations and get some feed back as i dont really have anyone to turn to for this sort of thing. My girlfriend and i are in a pretty intense relationship, weve been together almost ...
A. 27 January 2010: Yep, that would make perfect sense to me. You are two very passionate and very opinionated individuals that BOTH think they're right all the time! She can say very nasty things to you which can hurt your sensitive side (oh yes, you have a ... (read in full...)
She was a virgin and I was a virgin, I lied about being a virgin and she found out. What do I do?
Q. Hello, I met this girl and we hit off, we became really close freinds and had a strong connection emotionally. She told me she had been sexually abused as a child by her father and had a boyfreind for 4 yrs, because i was a 23 year old virgin and ...
A. 27 January 2010: What you have to do here is send her a letter. Explain (just as you have to us) the reason you said what you did, how you truly feel about her and how the last thing you ever wanted to do was hurt her and lose her trust. Add that you can understand ... (read in full...)
We say some rally nasty things to each other.
Q. Hi all, just thought id come on here to vent a few of my frustrations and get some feed back as i dont really have anyone to turn to for this sort of thing. My girlfriend and i are in a pretty intense relationship, weve been together almost ...
A. 27 January 2010: When you ARE getting on well then I suggest you sit and talk about this. Tell her how you hate it when you argue the way you do and that it just makes you feel worse in the long run. Let her know you love her to death and next time an argument ... (read in full...)
Why did she message me after everything, I did to her?
Q. I'll try to keep this as short as possible. I dated a girl last year from about April to June. It was a very short yet meaningful relationship. I was in love with the girl, and I'm pretty sure she was in love with me too. We never confessed it to ...
A. 27 January 2010: Like you said, when you were together you were both very close and had a bond. For some reason she's been thinking of you and how you're doing and has went so far as to get in touch again. She may be genuinely missing you or her texts might just ... (read in full...)
I can't understand why boys want me so bad???
Q. So im 14 and im not interested in having sex at this young of an age, ive only had 1 boyfriend, the most ive ever done with him was dance or hug, no kisses, i didnt really like him either. but i really started liking this boy recently, and he asked ...
A. 27 January 2010: Your conscience is already telling you it's not right... NEVER let any boy talk you into doing something you're not ready for, besides, if a guy really likes and respects you he would never ask you such a question. If any boy ever does, then let ... (read in full...)
Can someone explain to me what LOVE is?
Q. Can someone explain to me what LOVE is? My Mother thinks it is remaining monogamous for 53 years. Till my Father died. I don't know I have had 3 Long lasting relationships in life the latter ending in Marriage. I still don't know what love is...
A. 25 January 2010: I have given my definition of love many times on this site. Here is the way I see it:
To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love" with them but of course t... (read in full...)
Is he interested or naive?
Q. In a few weeks im supposed to interview one of my old middle school teachers about an event that is going on in spring. Just to let you know, I’ve liked this guy for like 6 years and we have a really good relationship as teacher and student. ...
A. 22 January 2010: Yes he likes you, but ONLY as a student. I have no doubt he's very flattered by the fact you like him, it will boost his ego no end and he probably even thinks you're "cute" but that's as far as it goes! He is married with 2 kids and I don't think ... (read in full...)
When you love someone with all your heart... how do you know?
Q. How do you know when you love someone? When you really love them with all your heart? Me and my girlfriend have only been together for a month. We have already had sex and we can talk about everything. Even love. But I feel it is too early for us to ...
A. 18 January 2010: To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love" with them but of course this can't be, they love the idea of who they are but if they've never met them then it's just ... (read in full...)
What music to heal my pain?
Q. Ok so my girlfriend who i was crazy about and so in love with has recently finished with me to be with another guy. This all happened a bit out of the blue and has shaken me bad. we were together 3 years. Can anyone recommend any songs that I can...
A. 17 January 2010: Break ups are never easy, especially for the one being dumped. You need to listen to "feel good" songs, something to make you feel positive again and NOT to sit and reminisce to soppy love songs. A couple of my favourites are "Now I can Dance" by ... (read in full...)
How do I end this relationship with sensitivity?
Q. How do I end my relationship with my boyfriend who is so kind, considerate and loves me to bits, when I just dont love him any more and can't see a future with him? I hate the feeling like I am lying to him whenever we are together!...
A. 7 January 2010: I hope this helps.
http://www.wikihow.com/Break-Up-with-Someone-Using-Style-and-Sensitivity
~Eve~... (read in full...)
How can I get my 7 year old to stay in bed and sleep???
Q. Hi i know this is a site about relationships, and this problem is about my relationship with my 7 year old daughter in a round about way. I'm at the end of my tether with her at bed time, for the first few years she went to bed with no trouble, but ...
A. 7 January 2010: I can totally understand your frustration but there is an anxiety problem here, and you, the mother have to find out where the underlying cause of it is stemming from, my gut feeling is that it is coming from you. I feel something in your life has ... (read in full...)
Lost interest in him..how do I break up with him
Q. So I've been dating my best guy friend for 2 months now and he's in love with me but I'm tired of him. He's the best guy just not for me and I don't know how or if to brake up with him. Help?...
A. 5 January 2010: The best way is to be honest with him. Here's a couple of links that hopefully will help you tell him sensitively.
http://www.wikihow.com/Break-Up
http://www.wikihow.com/Break-Up-with-Someone-Using-Style-and-Sensitivity
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Help! Where did it all go wrong?
Q. I am in love with the sweetest kindest man. He knows I am smitten with him. We sms each other ever other day. I see him at my work as he does consulting for us for the last year. He is 2 years younger then I (42) am. He is obese (150kg) and I am ...
A. 8 December 2009: He does seem to have genuine reasons for not keeping in touch at the moment. He knows how you feel about him and you have asked him to remember to bring a stone back for you. Now he has a reason to get in touch with you when he comes back so don't ... (read in full...)
Help! Where did it all go wrong?
Q. I am in love with the sweetest kindest man. He knows I am smitten with him. We sms each other ever other day. I see him at my work as he does consulting for us for the last year. He is 2 years younger then I (42) am. He is obese (150kg) and I am ...
A. 4 December 2009: I would agree with Honeygirl, go up to him when it's quiet and ask him if he wants to go for a coffee. If he refuses then as him outright "Have I done something to offend you?" and see what he replies. I think it's him that has the issues here, ... (read in full...)
Not being able to talk to anyone is killing me!
Q. Hello, ok i was out at my local pub last night from 9.30 to 1.30 and did not talk to anyone! I said hello to couple to couple of people but did not actually speak to anyone, yes there was music playing but come on i have been going to this pu...
A. 2 December 2009: Isn't that the very essence of writing a question to this forum? Every poster who writes in is looking for advice to begin with. And I'll ignore your remark Eyes, you of all people have been here long enough and should know better and even long ... (read in full...)
Help! Where did it all go wrong?
Q. I am in love with the sweetest kindest man. He knows I am smitten with him. We sms each other ever other day. I see him at my work as he does consulting for us for the last year. He is 2 years younger then I (42) am. He is obese (150kg) and I am ...
A. 2 December 2009: I wouldn't say anything to "sting" him. I think he's taken cold feet possibly because of his size. Men can be just as embarrassed and hung up about their size as women. He likes you and it's going to the next stage which means you'll both get ... (read in full...)
Not being able to talk to anyone is killing me!
Q. Hello, ok i was out at my local pub last night from 9.30 to 1.30 and did not talk to anyone! I said hello to couple to couple of people but did not actually speak to anyone, yes there was music playing but come on i have been going to this pu...
A. 2 December 2009: Aunts... remember, the reason we give advice here is to try to HELP the person asking the question. It shouldn't be turned into a personal vendetta or nit picking argument because they question or disagree with your answer. If an aunt feels their ... (read in full...)
Not being able to talk to anyone is killing me!
Q. Hello, ok i was out at my local pub last night from 9.30 to 1.30 and did not talk to anyone! I said hello to couple to couple of people but did not actually speak to anyone, yes there was music playing but come on i have been going to this pu...
A. 1 December 2009: You say: "Seems that i have become the focus for everyone's dislike here, i have reread my posts and to be honest i can see nothing in them deserves this level of vitriol." - At no time have I been verbally abusive or used venomous language to ... (read in full...)
Not being able to talk to anyone is killing me!
Q. Hello, ok i was out at my local pub last night from 9.30 to 1.30 and did not talk to anyone! I said hello to couple to couple of people but did not actually speak to anyone, yes there was music playing but come on i have been going to this pu...
A. 30 November 2009: I have read all the replies here... here is the way I see it. You have had some excellent advice given to you by the other aunts. You know more about YOUR problem than most people who post on here to begin with. You also know what you need to do ... (read in full...)
What could be the reason for very bad luck?
Q. What could be the reason for very bad luck? Like you do everything right in life, it is really not your fault, but you get the worst luck of day, after day. I'm talking about really bad stuff here.NO ,I don't think it makes sense to go into details ...
A. 20 November 2009: Okay I saw this question and had to answer here. YOU make your own destiny. YOU are in control! It all depends on your own thought process. If you keep thinking (as you do) that nothing you do is working to turn things around then you are ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend loves me but wants sex with other women!
Q. Hey guys so ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half now. we both love each other very much and weve had a happy time together, but recently an issue has got in our way. He's only admitted it once before and somet...
A. 17 November 2009: You are both still very young. He's now at the stage where he'd like to "try it out" with other women and his curiousity is getting the better of him (not to mention what his mates are putting into his head.) You need to discuss this with him ... (read in full...)
How do you know if you're REALLY in love?
Q. How do you know if your in love? I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months, we always say how much we love each other... but how do I know if I'm in love? It sounds like a silly uestion because I do believe I'm in love with him as I always want him ...
A. 17 November 2009: To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love" with them but of course this can't be, they love the idea of who they are but if they've never met them then it's just ... (read in full...)
Should I remain married if I am still in love with my first love?
Q. I am married to my wife of 13 years. I recently found out that my first fiance was forced to break up with me by our mothers because she'd gotten pregnant. They forced her to hide this and she lost the baby 5 months later. She hid this from me for ...
A. 12 November 2009: So you'd let her sleep with him "as it was only fair", in other words because she let you sleep with your first love. What does your heart tell you though? Would you be happy to let her sleep with someone else that she had such strong feelings for ... (read in full...)
Should I remain married if I am still in love with my first love?
Q. I am married to my wife of 13 years. I recently found out that my first fiance was forced to break up with me by our mothers because she'd gotten pregnant. They forced her to hide this and she lost the baby 5 months later. She hid this from me for ...
A. 11 November 2009: I feel there is much more to this story than meets the eye. She must have been distraught to ask you to quit your jobs to stay at home with her. This was obviously to try to get close to you again. She's thought having you around the house would ... (read in full...)
Should I remain married if I am still in love with my first love?
Q. I am married to my wife of 13 years. I recently found out that my first fiance was forced to break up with me by our mothers because she'd gotten pregnant. They forced her to hide this and she lost the baby 5 months later. She hid this from me for ...
A. 11 November 2009: "We have had sex with my wifes blessing before. And even when we did i never ignored my wife. In fact it spiced up our sex life when i alternated days between each on having sex. But the prior love and passion was still there after these yrs. This ... (read in full...)
Should I remain married if I am still in love with my first love?
Q. I am married to my wife of 13 years. I recently found out that my first fiance was forced to break up with me by our mothers because she'd gotten pregnant. They forced her to hide this and she lost the baby 5 months later. She hid this from me for ...
A. 10 November 2009: Are you still in touch with your first love and if so by what means? Have you seen her picture in 30 years? People change with time, not just physically but emotionally and mentally too. What you had with her all those years ago might never be ... (read in full...)
How should I approach sharing my wife?
Q. Hi, I want to hear from guys who have shared there wifes with a friend,stranger,etc. How did you approach it. How did it feel watching her when he started making love to her etc. My wife and I want to try something new . We sat in conversation one...
A. 9 November 2009: Fantasies like this for some can seem very exciting to talk about but remember, reality is not always the same. Although it can work for some, couples who become involved in this kind of lifestyle have to have a certain kind of personality. ... (read in full...)
Why, if she cares for me, does she insist on me earning as much as I can and accept the benefits that it brings, and yet despise me for it?
Q. I work so hard at my job because we need the money. My gf wants us to buy a larger place with some land and outbuildings etc so I feel I have to work as hard as I can. On the other side my gf will not get a paid job. She says that she already...
A. 5 November 2009: "No man or woman is worth your tears… and the one who is won't make you cry."
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Through wife-swapping, we fell in love, but are distraught about the hurt we've caused!
Q. Here is my heart-hurting situation. I have been with the mother of my son for almost 15 years. We met when we were in our late teens. About two years ago, we began something that has made me realize I wasn't really in love with my fiancee but more...
A. 5 November 2009: "Can love between two persons be present forever?" Yes and no. Any relationship needs to be worked at. There will always be trials along the way, it's the way we deal with these trials through working together that make our relationship stronger. ... (read in full...)
Through wife-swapping, we fell in love, but are distraught about the hurt we've caused!
Q. Here is my heart-hurting situation. I have been with the mother of my son for almost 15 years. We met when we were in our late teens. About two years ago, we began something that has made me realize I wasn't really in love with my fiancee but more...
A. 5 November 2009: Anyone who partakes in wife swapping, threesomes or the like has to know that there can be consequences. Although Female reader is on the wife’s side in all of this can I just point out that although this was suggested by you LionMicha, I don’t ... (read in full...)
The weirdest dream ever...!
Q. Hi, any psychological help on the following, last night was the very first dream I could remember for a really long time. I'm not sure if it could mean something.... It goes like this, there was this house, a house which my family and I stayed in ...
A. 22 September 2009: The house you were in denotes happy memories, your dad sitting with you means stability. You always look on the sunny side of life but you'd love to have more freedom away from rules and regulations and this is symbolised by the bird as dreaming of ... (read in full...)
Desperate for answers... please...
Q. I am a gay woman in a 2 year relationship with my partner. I also have a 5 year old beautiful, intelligent little girl. My partner is extremely strict with my child and only shows her affection when we have company around us. This is hurting me ...
A. 10 September 2009: When your partner started a relationship with you she KNEW you had a daughter. If she truly loves you then she should love your daughter too as she is a part of you, part of the package so to speak. I'm afraid things don't sound very hopeful. YOU ... (read in full...)
Should I tell anyone she was raped? Or just stay silent?
Q. My friend told me yesterday that she had been raped two weeks ago, i was in complete shock and didnt really know what to say, i promised her i wouldnt say anything to anyone, but she says she crys her self to sleep every night since then, in worry ...
A. 19 July 2009: I have been asked to comment on this question from one of the aunts so here is what I advise... This poor girl has been through a horrific ordeal which, if not acted on, will affect her and any future relationships for the rest of her life. She ... (read in full...)
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