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Ever since I can remember people have always fascinated me. I seemed to be very adept at solving people’s “life” problems and I never tired of the constant flow of friends asking for my help. I have always been a great listener and have a lot of patience and empathy for people and have written for advice columns in the past.
I am a Relationships Councillor and Life Coach and have a special aptitude with people. I have been active on this site for a number of years. I'm very much a positive thinker and hate being around negative people. Life is for living, it's too short to moan all the time. I'm determined, very spiritual, grounded, independent, strong willed and love life. Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.
If you realized just how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought. The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
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| Latest articles: REAL Love!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 July 2010: I have written this blog a few times but I thought I'd write it in an "article", that way people can always view it. To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love"...
Some tips for a happy marriage!
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: MARRIAGE - WHAT IS EXPECTED IN A MARRIAGE? Once you marry, don’t expect everything just to fall into place. Marriage is a serious commitment but it needs to be continually worked at. Too many people today go into marriage for the wrong reasons, t...
20 questions to ask someone on a date!
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: So many of the younger ones on this site tend to be a bit tongue tied about what to ask their date so here are 20 things to ask someone on that first date. 1. What do you like to do when you're not working? 2. Where in the world would you most...
Why do you think marriages break up more now than in the past?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: Do you remember years ago when families used to sit in at nights? They had no TV, no computer games, no telephones, no DVD's, no video recorders etc etc. They had one another! They had TIME to get to know one another, to BE with one another to ...
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I know I've done a really stupid thing... I just don't know what to do...
Q. In the last year I have become really close to a girl I met in my local pub. We are very good friends and go out in a small group of friends every weekend. But now I'm worried that I could lode her friendship over something really stupid that I h...
A. 17 November 2008: Don't we do silly things when we've been drinking? I suggest you have a word with your mate's brother and tell him it was a one off (not for now anyway, but for good!) and that he never mention it to anyone, especially your ex or his sister and if ... (read in full...)
Dear Cupid I need help badly..
Q. Dear Cupid, I need help. I have meet this man whom I thought I could have a relationship with, how very wrong I was... after 3 weeks into the relationship he told me he was married with 3 children, he told me he plans to leave his wife after xmas,...
A. 16 November 2008: Okay, you need to keep focussed here. Tell him to look you up again once he's left the wife and NOT before! That way you'll see if he really means what he says. If he tries to get in touch with you again before he's moved out then put your foot ... (read in full...)
She told me she was falling for me too... then she changed her mind!
Q. Here's the story! I've been in love with this girl for 3 years and until recently was too scared to tell her how I felt. Since I told her, things have been realy weird between us and last Friday she told me she was falling for me too, I was really ...
A. 16 November 2008: I'm sorry this happened to you, I can imagine how upset you must feel. The best way to deal with this is to take a step back from her. Don't get in touch with her in any way. She might just be confused and if you DON'T get in touch or run after ... (read in full...)
Do YOU believe in destiny?
Q. I was wondering, how many people believe in destiny. Do we have a destiny, so things will happen to us, without our wishes, or we are in control 100% what happens to us. I'm asking this because some people are so convinced that they can totally ...
A. 14 November 2008: I believe WE are the makers of our own destinies. The word DESTINY refers to a predetermined course of events. It may also be conceived as a predetermined future. I personally don't think our futures are predetermined. They are what WE make it. ... (read in full...)
Husband open with me about having sex with other men !!
Q. Hello Again, I have posted before and you guys gave me very valuable and insightful information.... but I am still wondering if I am doing the right thing. I have been married for 25 years, have 3 children + 2 foster boys that are all freshmen...
A. 14 November 2008: I have been reading this thread with interest and was thinking that there is an underlying reason for your husband "needing" to do what he does. Then you left the bombshell! "My husband was sexually abused by an older guy as a child" THAT is where ... (read in full...)
My world is total devastation, caused by an affair!
Q. Hello, My world came to a crashing an total devastating end at the end off July when I found out my wife of 25 years and my partner and soul mate as I seen it of 27 years finally admitted that she was and had been having an affair with her teacher ...
A. 14 November 2008: You probably got a lot off your chest seeing him again although it wouldn't all be pleasant but good for you James for giving him a piece of your mind. If you wanted to, then you could talk to the school board privately and tell him exactly what ... (read in full...)
My world is total devastation, caused by an affair!
Q. Hello, My world came to a crashing an total devastating end at the end off July when I found out my wife of 25 years and my partner and soul mate as I seen it of 27 years finally admitted that she was and had been having an affair with her teacher ...
A. 13 November 2008: I don't think she ever fell out of love with him, she was taken in by this man's charms, he was exciting and swept her off her feet and before she knew what was happening she was in too deep. This is usually how ALL affairs start! After being ... (read in full...)
My world is total devastation, caused by an affair!
Q. Hello, My world came to a crashing an total devastating end at the end off July when I found out my wife of 25 years and my partner and soul mate as I seen it of 27 years finally admitted that she was and had been having an affair with her teacher ...
A. 13 November 2008: You and your wife have been together 25 years, in that time you have become best friends as well as lovers. I disagree with glownatural, and I think it's admirable that she CAN come to you as honestly and openly as she has and I think it's even ... (read in full...)
Christians waiting until marriage for sex, but how far should/can we go?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are both Christians and are waiting to have sex until we're married. I doubt we will end up marrying each other, but we are having a great relationship. I'm just concerned with how far we should go. We've made out a few times, a...
A. 13 November 2008: If you want to abstain from sex before marriage and therein keep your christian laws then you certainly shouldn't be doing anything as intimate as sleeping together albeit intercourse doesn't take place. The word "virgin" in the bible relates to ... (read in full...)
He is all I have, I'm losing the only thing I have...
Q. i dont know where to start.i love my bf and he used to love me madly.i said i used to couse he changed in a strange way lately.after living 4 months together our relation has to turn in to long distance relation just for 3 months.we passed 2 months ...
A. 12 November 2008: There is no reason you can't contact him, as long as you don't moan and complain. Tell him you're sorry for being "off" with him the last few times, you just had a bad day but you're great now, you just miss him, then go on to tell him about your ... (read in full...)
How do I know if he is telling the truth that I really make him happy?
Q. How do I know if he is telling the truth that I really make him happy?...
A. 12 November 2008: ACTIONS speak louder than words. Is he always happy to see and talk to you? Do you feel a priority in his life? Does he take you into consideration in everything he does? Does he want to do things for you without you asking? Does he make you ... (read in full...)
Do I have some sort of abused woman syndrome?
Q. Why am I not over him? I recently broke up with my boyfriend of almost 5 years we lived together for almost the entire time, My head tells me leaving was the right thing to do so I did, He was very cruel he would say awful things and constanly ch...
A. 11 November 2008: You don't have abused woman syndrome at all. You were together for 5 years, you were used to one another and shared a life together, now that's gone and you miss the company and are finding "singledom" hard to adjust to, that's perfectly natural. ... (read in full...)
He is all I have, I'm losing the only thing I have...
Q. i dont know where to start.i love my bf and he used to love me madly.i said i used to couse he changed in a strange way lately.after living 4 months together our relation has to turn in to long distance relation just for 3 months.we passed 2 months ...
A. 11 November 2008: The way you're going on right now is only going to push him further away from you. You need to TRUST him more! Give him the benefit of the doubt, I'm sure he's missing you too and is looking forward to getting back again. The way you're acting ... (read in full...)
She is 19 and I am 57. I think she wants to go out with me. Is this wrong ?
Q. Hi Dear Cupid; I'am a sigle man with no attachments. About 2 months ago a young lady at the job would say hi every morning in a very appealing sexy kind Away, well in the begining I didn't put to much mind to it, she continue with her sexy hello and ...
A. 11 November 2008: She's 18/19 and barely an adult. She's also a Sagittarius which means she LOVES her freedom! She's experimenting nothing more. She will be enjoying the attention and flirting from you but it won't go anywhere, I know that from experience. Sure, ... (read in full...)
We get on great but lately I've been feeling this distance from him...
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now. We always have had a great time together, I make him laugh and I thought that he might be the one. Lately however, I have been feeling this distance from him. Intitally it was just him not ...
A. 10 November 2008: It will be hard for you but you need to get on with your life now. If he has second thoughts about breaking up (once his head is clear) then he'll be back. "If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, ... (read in full...)
Any interesting ideas that we could do to celebrate our 4th anniversary together?
Q. Hi I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas of something special or interesting I can do with my boyfriend tomorrow night! It's our 4 month anniversary and we always seem to do the same things such as going to a pub for a meal, going to th...
A. 10 November 2008: Here are 10 ideas for you:
1. Line the box with the tissue paper. Place the massage oil in the box and write the following message on the card:
I know a great Masseur.
For an appointment ring:
(Your Phone Number)
2. Organize a... (read in full...)
I'm wondering what walks of life the aunts and uncles come from?
Q. Dear posters, I think its wonderful to have people from different walks of life, to be able to come here and look at others situations with a different set of eyes. its great! On to my question, I was left wondering what each and every one of you...
A. 10 November 2008: This is a great question, I've really enjoyed reading about the other aunts and uncles! I live in Bonny Scotland and have 2 sons 16 and 21. I'm a positive thinker and like to think it rubs off on everyone I come into contact with. I'm a ... (read in full...)
This past week I keep having a recurring dream of being raped.
Q. hi, For the past week I've been having a dream where I'm being raped; this guy who seems stalks me (in reality) comes up to me (in my dream) knocks me out and puts me into his car, when I wake up I'm on a beach which is surrounded by cliffs, ...
A. 8 November 2008: The reason you are having this dream is because you are worried about this man following you. You've never seen him before, he's older than you and you're frightened! To dream that you have been raped indicates that you are feeling violated in some ... (read in full...)
My world is total devastation, caused by an affair!
Q. Hello, My world came to a crashing an total devastating end at the end off July when I found out my wife of 25 years and my partner and soul mate as I seen it of 27 years finally admitted that she was and had been having an affair with her teacher ...
A. 7 November 2008: Missing her friends is one thing, joining the class again with HIM as the teacher is quite another. Not for the fact anything would start up again, I don't think it would, not for a minute, but why put herself through that agony? No matter what ... (read in full...)
My current relationship isn't going too well, I suspect this is due in part to me being in love with someone else. What to do?
Q. Hi, I'm a guy in my early 30's and I'm in love with my business partner. I took over the business that we both worked for shortly after she joined. I didn't start having feelings for her for a year or so, but when she split up with her partn...
A. 5 November 2008: So you've given up so easily??? Sheeeeeesh!... (read in full...)
20 questions to ask someone on a date!
Q. So many of the younger ones on this site tend to be a bit tongue tied about what to ask their date so here are 20 things to ask someone on that first date. 1. What do you like to do when you're not working? 2. Where in the world would you most...
A. 3 November 2008: My childhood was fine thanks, why do you ask? I had my usual share of chores to do like keeping my room tidy and picking up after me and doing the dishes etc.
~Eve~... (read in full...)
My husband of 8 years cheated before we got married and NOW he tells me.
Q. My husband of 8 years just told me about having sex with another girl about 2 years before we got married. I was immediately tooken back when he told me this last night. I mean, why now? Why didn't he tell me then? I tell you why, because I would've ...
A. 31 October 2008: This is all to do with HIS SEXUAL FANTASIES! Your husband has carried this secret for 8 years and it could be he's been wanting to tell you on many occasions, that's why he kept bringing up the subject and asking you if you ever had sex with other ... (read in full...)
My world is total devastation, caused by an affair!
Q. Hello, My world came to a crashing an total devastating end at the end off July when I found out my wife of 25 years and my partner and soul mate as I seen it of 27 years finally admitted that she was and had been having an affair with her teacher ...
A. 30 October 2008: I felt so much empathy for you when I read your post and I can understand how hard this will be for you both. You had/have a wonderful marriage, closer than a lot of couples ever have in a lifetime, don't throw that away. I believe you are both ... (read in full...)
Do I continue to tell him how much I love him or do I just let him go and figure this out by himself?
Q. Me and this guy have been dating for about 5 months and in this 5 months we have only spent about 2 weeks apart! He is different from anyother guy I have ever dated. Well his wife in which they have been split for 2 years has started causing us ...
A. 30 October 2008: I know it's hard for you and I can totally sympathise with you but you've told him now. Now you need to be strong and keep your distance from him until he makes up his mind. Keep yourself busy, although it's hard, try not to think about the ... (read in full...)
Do I continue to tell him how much I love him or do I just let him go and figure this out by himself?
Q. Me and this guy have been dating for about 5 months and in this 5 months we have only spent about 2 weeks apart! He is different from anyother guy I have ever dated. Well his wife in which they have been split for 2 years has started causing us ...
A. 30 October 2008: I agree with Smiles, you need to leave him to it and let him sort his life out. He's maybe struggling right now with lots of things,his loyalty to his kids, loyalty to you and his feelings for his ex. Should he go there again or should he not? Does ... (read in full...)
We get on great but lately I've been feeling this distance from him...
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now. We always have had a great time together, I make him laugh and I thought that he might be the one. Lately however, I have been feeling this distance from him. Intitally it was just him not ...
A. 30 October 2008: It sounds to me as if your boyfriend has something on his mind and only time will solve it. You need to back off big time here and give him space to sort his head out. I would suggest you say to him that you'll back off a bit to let him think ... (read in full...)
I'm terrified of losing my virginity.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year, and everything is going so well. It couldn't be going better except for one thing; I'm a virgin and am still scared of losing my virginity. My boyfriend has been so understanding, and we ...
A. 23 October 2008: You are hyping yourself up and worrying about this so much and in turn every time he goes to penetrate you, you are tensing your vaginal muscles, (maybe even without knowing), making it impossible for him to enter you. Let's get back to basics here. ... (read in full...)
Some tips for a happy marriage!
Q. MARRIAGE - WHAT IS EXPECTED IN A MARRIAGE? Once you marry, don’t expect everything just to fall into place. Marriage is a serious commitment but it needs to be continually worked at. Too many people today go into marriage for the wrong reasons, t...
A. 23 October 2008: You're absolutely right Spirit of Iona,but Agape love is the selfless love of one person for another WITHOUT sexual implications (especially love that is spiritual in nature). This is the love Jesus had for his Father and vice versa. It is the ... (read in full...)
My current relationship isn't going too well, I suspect this is due in part to me being in love with someone else. What to do?
Q. Hi, I'm a guy in my early 30's and I'm in love with my business partner. I took over the business that we both worked for shortly after she joined. I didn't start having feelings for her for a year or so, but when she split up with her partn...
A. 20 October 2008: You're just stirring things Fade. It's easy to say what he SHOULD have done but the reality of it isn't always as easy. Give the guy a break (you're enjoying this aren't you?) If he tells her now, straight after the break up she'll run a mile ... (read in full...)
My current relationship isn't going too well, I suspect this is due in part to me being in love with someone else. What to do?
Q. Hi, I'm a guy in my early 30's and I'm in love with my business partner. I took over the business that we both worked for shortly after she joined. I didn't start having feelings for her for a year or so, but when she split up with her partn...
A. 20 October 2008: I've been reading this thread with interest. I don't think you're arrogant at all, you're just telling it like it is, I think you are assertive (just not regarding what to do in this situation). So here's my advice to you...
Okay firstly,... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend I was raped?
Q. Do I tell my boyfriend I was raped? I have been dating a guy for 3 months now and I have not told him that I was raped 8 years ago and that is also the only time I have had sex, not sure what happened as I was unconcious most of the night so I also ...
A. 19 October 2008: It really depends how serious you and your boyfriend are. Three months isn't a long time and at the moment you owe him nothing, you're still getting to know one another. He doesn't need to know (after 3 months together) that you're "not ... (read in full...)
I want to be his first but I'm terrified I'll lose him if I have sex with him!
Q. There's a guy on my school's football team and his body is close to perfect and he is absolutely gorgeous!!! I've liked him for a while (I've had band with him for 2 years, I see him everyday) He's 17 and I'm about 2-3 years younger than him. A lot ...
A. 18 October 2008: If you sleep with him he'll take your virginity then dump you and you'll be nothing more than another notch on his bedpost. You're more likely to keep him if you DON'T sleep with him!!! Get to know him better, don't fall for his pressurising ways. ... (read in full...)
Some tips for a happy marriage!
Q. MARRIAGE - WHAT IS EXPECTED IN A MARRIAGE? Once you marry, don’t expect everything just to fall into place. Marriage is a serious commitment but it needs to be continually worked at. Too many people today go into marriage for the wrong reasons, t...
A. 18 October 2008: That's true Smiles but the commitment would be incorporated/built in through loyalty and trust and of course if you truly loved one another then the commitment would be automatic. Sometimes us girls just like to hear that reassurance from our ... (read in full...)
Some tips for a happy marriage!
Q. MARRIAGE - WHAT IS EXPECTED IN A MARRIAGE? Once you marry, don’t expect everything just to fall into place. Marriage is a serious commitment but it needs to be continually worked at. Too many people today go into marriage for the wrong reasons, t...
A. 17 October 2008: Yes, I agree Tish, good point. A sense of humour is important too for both couples to have. Laughing has often diffused many a situation and... it's good for the soul!
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Have just broken up with my married boyfriend... How do I move on? I am thinking of telling his wife about us.
Q. I have been seeing a married guy. He has 3 kids and he and his wife have been together for 9 years, married for 3. i asked him when i met him if he was married, as i had a feeling he wasn't telling me something. to this he answered no, this was a ...
A. 17 October 2008: Unfortunately you were sucked in by this charmer. Your gut instinct right from the start told you it was wrong to get involved with him yet your heart ruled your head and you went ahead. You know this is never going to go anywhere and that you ... (read in full...)
I just cannot move on mentally because deep down I still want him back.
Q. Please forgive the long text but I need some help as sometimes I feel I am going crazy. My husband recently divorced me after 16 years saying that he was very unhappy, we had no common interests and that I had withheld love and affection whereas ...
A. 17 October 2008: Your life WITH your husband didn't sound too rosy to begin with having no common interests and him having yet "another" affair. It sounds to me as if you feel you "needed" him and were very dependent on him to be around no matter how bad things got ... (read in full...)
Can our marriage be saved???
Q. I have been married for 15 years and have a 12 year old daughter. On October 1, 2008 my husband told me that he was confused about everything, including our relationship. He asked for help to go to counseling. We started immediatly. Since (2 weeks) ...
A. 16 October 2008: Your husband just sounds burned out. Things are difficult as it is with the banks/money crash and then there's his own job which is giving him added stress. He's probably finding it difficult to meet targets etc (same in the UK with the mortgage ... (read in full...)
My husband wants to become a part time male model and is obsessed to get to a size ZERO!
Q. I'm 24, and my husband's 26. We've been married for 3 months now. Everything's been good, up until the last few weeks. In the past month, he told me he wanted to become a male model on the side from his normal job. Rather than become jealous, ...
A. 16 October 2008: In the UK we talk about weight in stones as opposed to pounds (as they do in the USA). One stone is equivalent to 14 pounds so a person weighing 5-6 stone would be the equivalent of someone weighing 70-84 pounds int the USA.
~Eve~... (read in full...)
He can't enter me... am I too tight?
Q. Every time I try to have sex, the guy can't seem to enter me :( I don't know if it's because I'm too tight, or he doesn't get hard enough, but it's happened with more than one guy, so I'm guessing I'm the problem. What can I do? How can I make it ...
A. 16 October 2008: It sounds to me as if you're really not ready to have sex yet. Sex is a very intimate and special way of showing a person how much you care for them. You're most probably tensing up too much rather than relaxing. Once you get into a long term ... (read in full...)
Will she ever give me a second chance after something like this?
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me one month ago and it absolutely broke my heart. We had been dating for two years and she decided to end it about a week after our two year anniversary. I have taken this hard and she has given me reasons for why ...
A. 16 October 2008: She broke up with you but still wanted to have you "dangling" but you took things into your own hands and deleted her which is great! You can't just be her friend which I totally understand and this has dented her ego so now she is emotionally ... (read in full...)
What's your opinion on dating a much older guy?
Q. your opinion on dating a guy 19yrs older then me. hes never been married has no kids. im 27 hes 46. im lonely so is he and i like him.i dont want to be alone for the rest of my life havent had a bf for 8yrs. ...
A. 16 October 2008: Age is just a number. As long as you aren't a teenager (which you're not) and you both have a lot in common then there is nothing wrong with it. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Does he make you laugh? Does he make you feel special? ... (read in full...)
Will she ever give me a second chance after something like this?
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me one month ago and it absolutely broke my heart. We had been dating for two years and she decided to end it about a week after our two year anniversary. I have taken this hard and she has given me reasons for why ...
A. 14 October 2008: You have to leave it at that I'm afraid. If you continue to contact her then she'll just see you as a nuisance. She's had plenty of time to think about getting back with you and as time's gone on, it's got clearer that going back is not the right ... (read in full...)
Will she ever give me a second chance after something like this?
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me one month ago and it absolutely broke my heart. We had been dating for two years and she decided to end it about a week after our two year anniversary. I have taken this hard and she has given me reasons for why ...
A. 12 October 2008: She IS testing the water, she wants to see if you're "needy" so always come across as assertive, don't say you miss her or want to get back with her again, leave that to her, (woman like their men to be assertive and like to chase.)
If you ever... (read in full...)
Will she ever give me a second chance after something like this?
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me one month ago and it absolutely broke my heart. We had been dating for two years and she decided to end it about a week after our two year anniversary. I have taken this hard and she has given me reasons for why ...
A. 9 October 2008: She knows she made you feel bad when you broke up and she's apologising for that. She seems to be a girl that keeps things close to her chest and finds it difficult to express herself. In the 2 years you were together, this seems like the first ... (read in full...)
Will she ever give me a second chance after something like this?
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me one month ago and it absolutely broke my heart. We had been dating for two years and she decided to end it about a week after our two year anniversary. I have taken this hard and she has given me reasons for why ...
A. 8 October 2008: It sounds to me like she's missing you. She's wondering where you are you see and why you haven't gotten in touch (which she assumed you would have). Good for you, this certainly sounds very positive. Remember the saying I gave you earlier... ... (read in full...)
Will she ever give me a second chance after something like this?
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me one month ago and it absolutely broke my heart. We had been dating for two years and she decided to end it about a week after our two year anniversary. I have taken this hard and she has given me reasons for why ...
A. 5 October 2008: First of all well done to you for getting the help for your emotional abuse, this couldn't have been an easy decision for you to make. Okay, YES there is every chance she will give things another go with you, there's always chances in this world. ... (read in full...)
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