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Ever since I can remember people have always fascinated me. I seemed to be very adept at solving people’s “life” problems and I never tired of the constant flow of friends asking for my help. I have always been a great listener and have a lot of patience and empathy for people and have written for advice columns in the past.
I am a Relationships Councillor and Life Coach and have a special aptitude with people. I have been active on this site for a number of years. I'm very much a positive thinker and hate being around negative people. Life is for living, it's too short to moan all the time. I'm determined, very spiritual, grounded, independent, strong willed and love life. Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.
If you realized just how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought. The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
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| Latest articles: REAL Love!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 July 2010: I have written this blog a few times but I thought I'd write it in an "article", that way people can always view it. To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love"...
Some tips for a happy marriage!
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: MARRIAGE - WHAT IS EXPECTED IN A MARRIAGE? Once you marry, don’t expect everything just to fall into place. Marriage is a serious commitment but it needs to be continually worked at. Too many people today go into marriage for the wrong reasons, t...
20 questions to ask someone on a date!
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: So many of the younger ones on this site tend to be a bit tongue tied about what to ask their date so here are 20 things to ask someone on that first date. 1. What do you like to do when you're not working? 2. Where in the world would you most...
Why do you think marriages break up more now than in the past?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: Do you remember years ago when families used to sit in at nights? They had no TV, no computer games, no telephones, no DVD's, no video recorders etc etc. They had one another! They had TIME to get to know one another, to BE with one another to ...
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Am I just a shameless flirt?
Q. I have a problem ... maybe mental problem ...or just a shameless flirt ... who knows I am madly in love with a boy I've never met in person! I really like a girl that's a really good friend (she knows but I told her I loved the guy so she backe...
A. 6 April 2008: You are perfectly normal, you're a teenager and that's the way teenagers act. The boy that you "love" that you've never met in person is simply a crush (I've had them too). You don't love him, you don't know him, you just have these feelings for ... (read in full...)
It's hard when you feel like there's something wrong with you.
Q. I'm 23 and never had a proper boyfriend. I'm very shy, a little overweight and have low self-esteem. The men I've liked have been horrid to me, going out of their way to embarrass and make fun of me. You start to wonder what's wrong with you and ...
A. 3 April 2008: You first need to work on who you are in the INSIDE and learn to love and be happy with the person you are. When we lack confidence it's only natural our self esteem takes a nose dive too and the more someone makes fun of you the worse you'll feel. ... (read in full...)
Do people really ever get over there ex's or even worse first exe'?
Q. My ex cheated on me and we have now been seperated for 8 months. I was in alot of pain as he continued to see her after we split. I always felt more pain as he had stayed with her and I used to think 'if only he was with someone else it would not be ...
A. 3 April 2008: If you know there is no chance of a reconcilliation then you need to close the door on it and eventually, with time things will get less painful. Try not to ask him about his personal life and if he tells you about it then let him know you'd rather ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Over half a million visitors in March!
Q. I'm pleased to say that according to Google Analytics, March 08 was the busiest month ever for Dear Cupid! We had 519,747 unique visitors (i.e. people!) visit the site from 1st March 08 to 31st March 08 inclusive. Over HALF A MILLION people.... ...
A. 1 April 2008: Great news Andrew but not surprising. This site is a godsend for people young and "old" alike. 1 million hits WILL happen, I'm sure of it. Irish, I'll bring the wine! (winks).
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Anyone have an free English dating website recommendations?
Q. What are the best dating websites that are free that are england ...
A. 30 March 2008: A very reputable FREE dating site to try out is www.plentyoffish.com.
~Eve~ ... (read in full...)
We once had threesomes with my mate does he now like her more than he likes me?
Q. Hi I have been with me boyfriend for 3 years now, that is never a good relationship. He never cuddles me, we would never sit together on the sofa at home and we hardly ever had sex, he spent most of his time in the put as well. About 2years a...
A. 27 March 2008: Oh dear, what a mess. One of the reasons why NOT to have a threesome! Why on earth would you even consider this when you knew deep down your boyfriend like your friend? It was silly of you to go behind your boyfriend's back and see other guys and ... (read in full...)
I wanted to know how other infected people deal with this, and how do they manage to get on with their lives with no sex?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles: I found out in January that my now-ex gave me HPV-genital warts. I couldn't bring myself to forgive him (he had insisted I trust him, that he didn't have anything and that if I didn't trust him then we were over. So I trusted ...
A. 19 March 2008: A friend on mines confided in me that she had anal warts and was terrified to go to the doctor about them. After I spoke with her about it she reluctantly took my advice and paid her GP a visit. The warts had spread and she had more than 40 of ... (read in full...)
My wife and I are considering getting her tubes tied.
Q. My wife and I are considering getting her tubes tied. What are the chances of her getting pregnant even though her tubes have been tied? And is she able to give birth to a baby if she DOES become pregnant?...
A. 19 March 2008: For a woman having her tubes tied, there is still a very slight chance that she CAN fall pregnant. The tubes are "tied" and can always, through time slacken again. The best way to avoid this happening is for her to have them CUT and not TIED!
... (read in full...)
Any tips for my weekend away with my gf and her parents??
Q. Okay, first off, I'm really grateful for all the feedback I received for a previous question I had, So, basically, my question is, I'm seeing this girl and the next time I see her, she wants me to stay the weekend with her. I'm worried on how t...
A. 16 March 2008: Just relax, be yourself and have fun basically. Oh and good manners go a long way too especially in front of her parents so be a gentleman. Find something you both have in common and you've got it made. Have fun!
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Is it possible he doesn't masturbate to the porn on his computer??
Q. I recently found some porn pictures of nude female models in pictures by themselves and a couple of videos of girls undressing on my boyfriend's computer. We have been dating almost 2 years, and from the time I met him he has always told me that ...
A. 15 March 2008: Danielepew couldn't have put it better. The female body is beautiful. It's like going into a man's place of work and seeing a nude calendar up on the wall. The models are attractive but having them there doesn't detract how he feels about you. It ... (read in full...)
Why would he ask for my number...say he will call and still not call??
Q. Well, I'm 18 and I met this guy who is around 33. I met him by chance and we started talking and well I know him a bit and it was pretty nice. He was really sweet and all and he had asked me if i was alone or witn company and where I lived, but unfo...
A. 15 March 2008: If he WAS crazy on you AND HAD NO BAGGAGE then he would have called you. He's either fobbing you off, being nice to you to your face with no intentions of calling but just doesn't want to hurt your feelings or he has a girlfriend or a wife at home! ... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't know what to do and I surely don't.... Should I wait and give him time or should I just move on?
Q. I met this guy at a work function about 6 months ago. We got along great from the 1st day. At the end of the week I went back to my home and he went to his (a few hrs away from me). We talked just about every day since online and on the phone ab...
A. 15 March 2008: There is too much chemistry between both of you to just stay friends. He has to make a decision on this. If his feelings for you are strong enough then he will make the decision to first leave his wife and THEN he can have a relationship with you. ... (read in full...)
Does he still have feelings for me and want me back?
Q. My ex broke up with me about six weeks ago, I didn't think we'd speak again. There seemed to be no reason for the breakup other than that he was under alot of stress at the time and couldnt handle us anyway he deleted me from his phone, his ...
A. 15 March 2008: The only thing you can do now is wait... He has your mobile number and if you're still on his mind, I can guarantee you he'll be back in touch and if he is then great (followed by him dumping his girlfriend). If you don't hear from him again and ... (read in full...)
He says he needs time to think if we are compatible, how much time am I to wait?
Q. My boyfriend (of a little more than a year) and I recently had a small spat, but it seems to be a culmination of little unhappinesses lately. He says he needs time to think about whether we are compatible. I'm giving him that time, but at the same ...
A. 14 March 2008: Then I feel he still needs this time out to see if he thinks you have enough in common to want to stay with you. If you could try share some of his interests, that would help but in the meantime I would give him the space he's asked for and let him ... (read in full...)
Is it selfish to expect this from a close friend?
Q. Here's the scenario: Before my friend Vicky's birthday, she went clubbing with my ex and one of my ex's friends. My ex and I had a really bad break up and she knew that he hurt me pretty bad by cheating on me. Anyways, she invited him thinking that ...
A. 14 March 2008: I would say yes, it is a bit selfish of you. Just because you've broken up, life goes on doesn't it. Okay he hurt you but you've moved on now and have another boyfriend. I would brush it off, don't blame your friend, she was only being polite ... (read in full...)
He says he needs time to think if we are compatible, how much time am I to wait?
Q. My boyfriend (of a little more than a year) and I recently had a small spat, but it seems to be a culmination of little unhappinesses lately. He says he needs time to think about whether we are compatible. I'm giving him that time, but at the same ...
A. 14 March 2008: Give him that time and let HIM chase you! Let him see what it's like to actually miss you. Don't text, call or email him, let that come from him! If he asks why you haven't been in touch then tell him you're just respecting his wishes and giving ... (read in full...)
After 24 years of marriage, my husband says he still loves his ex and has filed for divorce!
Q. I have been married 24 years and my husband just told me a month ago that he is still in love with his old girlfriend before me. He told me that he has never stopped loving her and that he doesn't love me the same way, never has. We have 2 grown ...
A. 14 March 2008: This must have been devastating for you to hear! What brought this on? Has he been in touch with his ex of late or met up with her at all? Something has brought this to a climax. How did this all come about? Had your marriage been having ... (read in full...)
Should I go to a "Gentleman's Club" to lose my virginity or am I selling myself short?
Q. Hey guys, I've been pondering this for a while now, but I'd like to get some outside opinions on this. I'm still a virgin at 20, and quite frankly I'm over it. It hasn't happened yet, I can't see it happening anytime soon, and I just feel bored ...
A. 14 March 2008: You're selling yourself short here! You just need to believe in yourself more. Life is a learning curve, okay so you screwed it up with a couple of girls, learn from it and move on and make sure you don't make the same mistakes with the next one.
... (read in full...)
I feel like a slave but he doesn't hit me too hard so maybe he will be better after we have children...
Q. My husband comes from a family where the men are always in charge. He was very nice to me when we were dating and after we got married he changed like he thinks he is my master. I feel like a slave sometimes and if I don't do what I am supposed to ...
A. 14 March 2008: Do you want my honest opinion here? RUN AS FAST AS YOUR LEGS CAN CARRY YOU! This man is a bully and a control freak. He seems to have some strange fetish where he wants to dominate you and it will only get worse with time. The WORST thing you ... (read in full...)
I feel like my dad doesn't approve of anything in my life...
Q. hi, im sixteen and i need some advice. I want to be an architect but my dad keeps saying that job doesnt pay well for women and idk what to do. Thats something i really want to do, i just feel like my dad doesnt approve of any part of my life, he ...
A. 14 March 2008: An architect is a good career! Is your dad successful? Are you an only child? If you want to be an architect so badly then I would go for it. I think your dad is a bit frightened to let you go. He sees you're growing up and he's trying to hold ... (read in full...)
How do I stay strong when I feel like he messed up my life and no one knows the real him?
Q. I was keeping the message in my inbox on myspace from my ex in case i would ever need to report him for stalking, and today i noticed he changed his profile picture to one with 2 girls kissing him. So, stupidly I checked out his page and in almos...
A. 14 March 2008: This guy isn't worth your attention, he's keeping the door open for you, you did right to ignore him. The best thing you can do is NOT look at his myspace any more or anthing else he's part of, you are only feeding yourself with thoughts of him ... (read in full...)
My friend is unhappy due to a death and from abuse by a guy at school, how can I help her?
Q. Hi everyone I have this friend that I just met about six months ago. She is having troubles and I think I'm starting to like her. She lost a friend in a car accident a couple of months before we met, and she's still sad about this. Then she like...
A. 14 March 2008: The best thing you can do for now is be her friend. Don't ask her out on a date or pressure her in any way as she's got too many emotions running through her head just now and she'll be very vulnerable. Tell her you're there for her as a friend if ... (read in full...)
I'm confused with what he wants with me....should I tell him I missed him??
Q. hey guys, So this kid who i had a thing with for a little while, we ended things like last month and we ended off really bad. He said he doesnt want to be my freind or anything. Starting two weeks ago i guess he decided to be mature and talk ...
A. 14 March 2008: Everyone likes a bit of attention! He does like you but history is repeating itself here and you're doing exactly what you did when you got together before. He just doesn't want to get hurt again and is a bit apprehensive in case the same thing ... (read in full...)
My husband is having extra-marital affairs with younger women and I am pregnant, what should I do?
Q. We have been married for seven years and my husband is having an extra-marital affairs for six years with another young women with two illegitimate children. With me, we have 3 children and i am pregnant now. What should i do ?...
A. 14 March 2008: If you know your husband has has these affairs then why on earth did you get pregnant to him again? You need to sit down and decide what you want. Are you willing to continue in this marriage knowing that he's sleeping with someone else? Have you ... (read in full...)
Should I go to a "Gentleman's Club" to lose my virginity or am I selling myself short?
Q. Hey guys, I've been pondering this for a while now, but I'd like to get some outside opinions on this. I'm still a virgin at 20, and quite frankly I'm over it. It hasn't happened yet, I can't see it happening anytime soon, and I just feel bored ...
A. 14 March 2008: Unlike guys, looks don't matter as much as personality to a woman. And by the way, a guy DID answer you! Look again lol.
You know what's holding you back! I suggest you try to get rid of the bitterness and pessimism you feel and work on trying t... (read in full...)
Does he still have feelings for me and want me back?
Q. My ex broke up with me about six weeks ago, I didn't think we'd speak again. There seemed to be no reason for the breakup other than that he was under alot of stress at the time and couldnt handle us anyway he deleted me from his phone, his ...
A. 13 March 2008: I think he genuinely still has feelings for you and was pleasantly surprised when he saw you again in the supermarket. He was honest enough to tell you straight off that he'd been seeing someone else too, maybe to get you out of his mind, who ... (read in full...)
Should I go to a "Gentleman's Club" to lose my virginity or am I selling myself short?
Q. Hey guys, I've been pondering this for a while now, but I'd like to get some outside opinions on this. I'm still a virgin at 20, and quite frankly I'm over it. It hasn't happened yet, I can't see it happening anytime soon, and I just feel bored ...
A. 13 March 2008: You're still very young, what's the big deal? There's more important things to life than having sex. There's nothing to be embarrassed about being 20 and still a virgin, I say good for you! I admire you! It shows you respect yourself and aren't ... (read in full...)
I overheard my mom say she was sexually abused and now I'm really upset, help!
Q. I'm really really worried. My mum was drunk the other night and she was talking to this man that we knew... and i was there but she didn't see me, and she was really upset and she said that she had been sexually abused when she was young, and she ...
A. 13 March 2008: There is absolutely nothing you can do but know that it is now in the past and it will never happen again. If you want to, then talk to your mum about it and ask her what happened. Ask her what you can do to help and let her know that you would ... (read in full...)
Constant bleeding four months after Labor and Delivery. Please Advise.
Q. I just had my daughter about four months ago and I got my depo provera birth control shot 6 weeks after havign her. Have been bleeding off and on since then. Not a lot just a little, but it is almost every day and I'm worried. Any ideas if ...
A. 10 March 2008: Regardless of the type of birth you will bleed from the vagina, because the special lining of the uterus (womb) is no longer needed. The colour should gradually lighten from bright red to pink/brown and by the tenth day it should be a whitish ... (read in full...)
When my bf goes away I cry and worry for a few days...any advice how I can cope??
Q. I just need some advice really. I have been with my bf almost 2 years We love each other loads He is in the army and travels a lot. The travelling has become more and more over the last 6 months The time he is away can vary from 2 months to 2 wee...
A. 9 March 2008: You need to start thinking positively and keep busy! DON'T let him see you this way. 2 months is isn't that long and you can always keep in touch with him by text/email etc. The more you sit and dwell on this the longer the time will seem before ... (read in full...)
Actual LOVE...what does it mean? PLEASE read this!!
Q. Okay... this is just kind of a poll for anyone and everyone. It may be a little odd but it's something I've always been interesting in hearing about... What do YOU think the meaning of love is? How do you define being "in love"? And what are fee...
A. 8 March 2008: To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love" with them but of course this can't be, they love the idea of who they are but if they've never met them then it's just ... (read in full...)
He's having an affair with another woman, and we are all sharing the same house. Does he love me?
Q. hello dear cupid, i just want to know whether my partner loves me or not because he's divorced and 20 years older than me, i'm just 22 he's also having an affair with another woman, keeping both of us in the same house, i just want to know whether ...
A. 7 March 2008: Why on earth would you allow him to move this woman in and you still be there? Is it HIS house? He's walking all over you here. Why don't you leave? Have you no place else to go? Stop being so dependent on this man, he KNOWS that and is having ... (read in full...)
How do I start the conversation?
Q. Argh! Going slightly mad here guys, hope someone can help me out a little. Asked on here a week or so ago if i should get in contact with a girl who i've seen around at uni, and also seen on the uni dating website. You guys agre...
A. 7 March 2008: Why don't you ask her a question about herself then when she replies she can ask you one. That way you're getting to know more about one another. Here's some questions to start you off...
1. What do you like to do when you're not working?... (read in full...)
Does bleach get rid of sperm? How long can sperm live for? would appreciate a medical expert answer...
Q. Does bleach get rid of sperm ? I masturbated in the shower, and I was wondering if bleach will effectively get rid of the sperm.?..without bleach, how long can sperm live in the shower..i've heard that they cant live for more than 20 mins or an ...
A. 6 March 2008: I'm not a medical expert but here's some information for you. The length of time for sperm to live outside the body depends on the conditions. If the conditions are right, such as if the semen is deposited in a woman's vagina, the sperm cells can ... (read in full...)
How can we let him see the truth... she cheated on him and lied about it. Help please! He doesn't deserve this!
Q. My boyfriend is a senior in high school and his cousin is a junior. We are all in the same school. The cousin (chris) has a girlfriend who is a freshman. I am a sophmore..me and the girlfriend used to be close friends about a year ago and she was ...
A. 6 March 2008: You acted out of concern for Chris and have now planted the seed in his mind but now it's up to him what he does with the information. Let him make his own decisions now and leave well alone, you've alerted him to the situation but I would leave it ... (read in full...)
E-mailing the Ex-College Girlfriend
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. By all standards our relationship is great! We had a brief break-up 3 years ago - he was with someone else. We discuss engagement and marriage in the near future. About 3 months ago I saw a provocative ...
A. 6 March 2008: Why do people always want to play with fire and go back to their past at the first "dangle of a carrot?" I don't know how all of this started up again but he must have given her his cell phone number at some point if she was able to text him. If ... (read in full...)
My wife has a low sex drive, I can live with it but would really like if she gave me blowjobs, any ideas to convince her?
Q. I have a sad and serious problem. I have been married to a fantastic woman whom I love very much for almost 5 years. But our sex life is not satisfying for me. She has a very low sex drive and basically only likes the missionary position and ...
A. 6 March 2008: You need to get to the bottom of WHY your wife feels this way. I feel there is something deeper buried within her psychologically. It could be that she's had a terrible sexual experience in the past or has had some other sexual trauma that's ... (read in full...)
He calls me names, gets really jealous, and slapped my leg really hard...is this an abusive relationship?
Q. Me and my bf of 2 years were broken up for around 9 months. He broke up with me. DUring that time, things were very dramatic between us. He would get very jealous at any new guy I meet. A couple times we got into heated arguments and he would te...
A. 6 March 2008: It certainly sounds to me like the beginnings of an abusive relationship. Why does he call you slut and whore? He seems very insecure in himself hence the reason for this control over you. NOT a good match!!!!
~Eve~... (read in full...)
I am easily aroused by caresses to my back. He does this in public! What should I do?!
Q. i am easily aroused to gentle touches on my back which, my boyfriend finds easily. i always tell him to stop. its really hard when he constantly does it and we are in a public place like school. what should i do?...
A. 6 March 2008: Does he know it arouses you so much? If he does and continues to do it then move his hand and give him a look that says back off or move away and if he doesn't then tell him you'd rather he didn't do it in public but you certainly welcome it when ... (read in full...)
How do I bring up sex to my son, and what will I say?
Q. How and what should I say to my 14 year son about sex? ...
A. 6 March 2008: Has he actually ASKED you questions about sex? If so then great and just answer the questions he asks honestly. Don't go off on a tangent talking about it for ages, just answer what he wants to know and leave it there. Let him know that if he has ... (read in full...)
I am almost 9 months pregnant and caught my husband cheating with text sex...
Q. I am nearly nine months' pregnant and caught my husband cheating with text sex. We've been together eight years and married for nearly five. He's 10 years younger hadn't had any serious relationships before me and wants to live by himself but still ...
A. 6 March 2008: He sounds very immature for his age and unfortunately he's definitely NOT ready for a committed relationship with you let alone to be a father. He's even admitted that he's frightened he might do something more hurtful "next time". He needs a ... (read in full...)
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