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Ever since I can remember people have always fascinated me. I seemed to be very adept at solving people’s “life” problems and I never tired of the constant flow of friends asking for my help. I have always been a great listener and have a lot of patience and empathy for people and have written for advice columns in the past.
I am a Relationships Councillor and Life Coach and have a special aptitude with people. I have been active on this site for a number of years. I'm very much a positive thinker and hate being around negative people. Life is for living, it's too short to moan all the time. I'm determined, very spiritual, grounded, independent, strong willed and love life. Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.
If you realized just how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought. The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
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| Latest articles: REAL Love!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 July 2010: I have written this blog a few times but I thought I'd write it in an "article", that way people can always view it. To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love"...
Some tips for a happy marriage!
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: MARRIAGE - WHAT IS EXPECTED IN A MARRIAGE? Once you marry, don’t expect everything just to fall into place. Marriage is a serious commitment but it needs to be continually worked at. Too many people today go into marriage for the wrong reasons, t...
20 questions to ask someone on a date!
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: So many of the younger ones on this site tend to be a bit tongue tied about what to ask their date so here are 20 things to ask someone on that first date. 1. What do you like to do when you're not working? 2. Where in the world would you most...
Why do you think marriages break up more now than in the past?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: Do you remember years ago when families used to sit in at nights? They had no TV, no computer games, no telephones, no DVD's, no video recorders etc etc. They had one another! They had TIME to get to know one another, to BE with one another to ...
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Will she ever give me a second chance after something like this?
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me one month ago and it absolutely broke my heart. We had been dating for two years and she decided to end it about a week after our two year anniversary. I have taken this hard and she has given me reasons for why ...
A. 16 October 2008: She broke up with you but still wanted to have you "dangling" but you took things into your own hands and deleted her which is great! You can't just be her friend which I totally understand and this has dented her ego so now she is emotionally ... (read in full...)
What's your opinion on dating a much older guy?
Q. your opinion on dating a guy 19yrs older then me. hes never been married has no kids. im 27 hes 46. im lonely so is he and i like him.i dont want to be alone for the rest of my life havent had a bf for 8yrs. ...
A. 16 October 2008: Age is just a number. As long as you aren't a teenager (which you're not) and you both have a lot in common then there is nothing wrong with it. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Does he make you laugh? Does he make you feel special? ... (read in full...)
Can anyone help me try to repair my marriage and get over my affair?
Q. Ok I know I am going to get a lot of people getting mad at me for this situation but I need help and I am sorry if I make people mad. I have been married to a wonderful man for 10 years but I have been having an affair with a married man for the ...
A. 15 October 2008: This man was a charmer, nothing more. I don't doubt you had some good times with him, it was exciting, different and it made you feel like a teenager again. He would feel the same way in the beginning, all very new, exciting and different. Now ... (read in full...)
Will she ever give me a second chance after something like this?
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me one month ago and it absolutely broke my heart. We had been dating for two years and she decided to end it about a week after our two year anniversary. I have taken this hard and she has given me reasons for why ...
A. 14 October 2008: You have to leave it at that I'm afraid. If you continue to contact her then she'll just see you as a nuisance. She's had plenty of time to think about getting back with you and as time's gone on, it's got clearer that going back is not the right ... (read in full...)
We are meant to be getting married but he keeps starting fights about how much sex we have. Any advice?
Q. Is there any advice for us???? I have gone from being so very very happy when my now fiance proposed to me 2 months ago to feeling like I just want to cry. Basically we had a huge argument last week which resulted in lots of screaming and shouting ...
A. 13 October 2008: Sex with your partner should never be seen as a chore but as a way of expressing your feelings for one another. You need to reassure your partner that you love him and what better way than to demonstrate this to him physically. Eddie put it ... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't like sex as often and we fight a lot over this issue. Any advice?
Q. I've been married 2 1/2 years and my wife doesnt like having sex all that often....maybe once a week or so... We are both 23 years old and she has offered to let me have my way with her whenever I want, but I dont want to just cum and done kinda t...
A. 12 October 2008: Did your wife feel this way before you were married? How long has this been going on for? You should try to talk to her about this and ask her if there is something on her mind. It could be she's feeling stressed out at work. If you are having ... (read in full...)
Will she ever give me a second chance after something like this?
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me one month ago and it absolutely broke my heart. We had been dating for two years and she decided to end it about a week after our two year anniversary. I have taken this hard and she has given me reasons for why ...
A. 12 October 2008: She IS testing the water, she wants to see if you're "needy" so always come across as assertive, don't say you miss her or want to get back with her again, leave that to her, (woman like their men to be assertive and like to chase.)
If you ever... (read in full...)
I am a Virgo male and I'm in love with an Aries female. Are we compatible?
Q. Hi , I am a boy who believes in zodiac signs. I am born under Virgo in 1989. I love someone, she likes me too. She is Aries born in 1994. How is our internal compatibility on signs. Will we be happy or not? Please help. Thanks...
A. 9 October 2008: On their first meeting Aries see Virgo as cool and intellectual, someone with a passionate side waiting to be discovered by them. Virgos see Aries as impetuous and headstrong, someone who could add some excitement to their ordered lives. Aries has a ... (read in full...)
Young married couple... headed for disaster
Q. I am a 26 year old married female, mother of a two year old. I have been married 3 years, and it feels like 50! My husband and I dated 2 years before hand and have known each other 6 years total. We have had our ups and downs but lately it feels ...
A. 9 October 2008: It sounds to me like your and your husband have gotten into a rut and I'm sure if you asked him then he'd say he feels exactly the same way you do. You are at home looking after the baby, cooking, cleaning and tidying the house. He is a student ... (read in full...)
I'm an Aries and he is a Capricorn - could he be the one? He's madly in love with me!
Q. This boy is madly in love with me. He is a very good friend.He is born under the sign of capricorn, on the January, 1991. Is he the real one? Or there is still time for my prince charming to come? Sometimes I feel attracted to him, and somtimes i ...
A. 9 October 2008: Astrology is a passion of mines and you CAN tell a lot about a person from their star sign. Star signs (or sun signs) give you a general idea of what that person is like, if you want a more indepth analysis of yourself then you need to have a ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of putting in this effort in this crazy relationship while he sits and makes strange comments?
Q. Hello, I have a few questions actually. I have been in a relationship for 4 years now and it seems like things are slowly getting worse. I do everything i can for this man but he keeps saying these random comments like "I think i sould leave" or ...
A. 9 October 2008: You can't CHANGE the way he is, he has to do that by himself and he obviously doesn't think there's anything wrong with the way he is so he's never going to change. Successful relationships are about compromise, communication, trust etc. The ... (read in full...)
Will she ever give me a second chance after something like this?
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me one month ago and it absolutely broke my heart. We had been dating for two years and she decided to end it about a week after our two year anniversary. I have taken this hard and she has given me reasons for why ...
A. 9 October 2008: She knows she made you feel bad when you broke up and she's apologising for that. She seems to be a girl that keeps things close to her chest and finds it difficult to express herself. In the 2 years you were together, this seems like the first ... (read in full...)
Does anyone out there believe in Soulmates???
Q. This is more of asking your opinions... does anyone believe in soulmates? and if yes how do you know when your find your soulmate? Thanks....
A. 8 October 2008: I cannot tell you here and now who your soul mate might be but what I can do is show you what characteristics they will have so that you will be able to recognise them and look for them yourself.
Your soul mate is a person with whom from the outs... (read in full...)
Will she ever give me a second chance after something like this?
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me one month ago and it absolutely broke my heart. We had been dating for two years and she decided to end it about a week after our two year anniversary. I have taken this hard and she has given me reasons for why ...
A. 8 October 2008: It sounds to me like she's missing you. She's wondering where you are you see and why you haven't gotten in touch (which she assumed you would have). Good for you, this certainly sounds very positive. Remember the saying I gave you earlier... ... (read in full...)
What's your definition of love?
Q. Can someone please define love for me? Because I have this strong feeling for someone and I don't know if it's love or just infatuated love *-) xxx...
A. 7 October 2008: To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love" with them but of course this can't be, they love the idea of who they are but if they've never met them then it's just ... (read in full...)
My wife's promiscuous past still haunts me after 28 years! Should I confront her or try and get help?
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm a 51 year old man, now married for 28 years. I was a 22 year old virgin when I met my wife. I had been in one long term relationship with a younger girl but we had not 'gone all the way' because we both felt that we wanted t...
A. 7 October 2008: I understand where you're coming from. Most men want "their woman" to be chaste and untouched when they meet and marry them and the thought of someone else being with someone we love sexually can eat us up. You are beating yourself up over this ... (read in full...)
After having a baby, I find that I have lost interest in sex, and having intercourse causes me pain, why is that and what do I do to regain interest in sex?
Q. I've been seing someone for almost 8 years now and things have been really great between us and we have a 2 year old daughter, but my problem started after I had a baby. I lost interest on everything especially when coming to satisfying my man in ...
A. 7 October 2008: If you delivered your daughter normally (ie vaginal birth and not by cescarian section) then it could be that your uterus was torn slightly and had to have a few stitches afterwards. It sounds to me that they might have sewn you too tightly and ... (read in full...)
I dream of my boyfriend with other women!
Q. Hi! I am a 26 year old. I have a great sex life with my boyfriend. But I have one strange problem. I like to fantasise other girls having sex with my boyfriend. It is a huge turn on. I like to fantasise that I am watching him while he has sex with ...
A. 7 October 2008: It's nice to hear you and your boyfriend have a great sex life. Long may it continue! (winks). Lots of people get turned on at the thought of their significant other being taken (or taking) someone else sexually. It's a popular fantasy and ... (read in full...)
He has a big problem! Is my husband cheating on me?
Q. I have been married for just over a year but in the same relationship for 16 years. This sounds crazy but my husband and I have just stopped having sex - initially I just put it down to stressful jobs (investment banking)and the associated fatigue ...
A. 7 October 2008: My advice to you would be to nip this in the bud right away or you'll both grow further and further apart. I can imagine how embarrassed he must have felt when you actually caught him masturbating and I think personally this brought him back to his ... (read in full...)
I'm always the person that dispenses the advice to my friends.. but when it comes to my life, I feel absolutely and utterly clueless.
Q. I'm always the person that dispenses the advice to my friends.. but when it comes to my life, I feel absolutely and utterly clueless. I feel stuck inside a huge rut with no way out.. I feel paralysed where I am. If you could give me some advice, I ...
A. 6 October 2008: Both of the other 'aunts' (or uncles as the case may be lol) have given you excellent advice. Remember always: YOU have a mind, your feelings come from your mind therefore you can control your feelings. In other words, YOU are in charge and nobody ... (read in full...)
I suffer from really bad anxiety attacks, can anyone help me???
Q. I am a 'survivor' I suppose you would say...but when do you stop trying and give up? Hope is all that has kept me going. I suffer from anxiety; have done for 20 years. This takes the form of panic attacks, sometimes agoraphobia. I have deep seated f...
A. 6 October 2008: I'm sorry to hear about what an awful time you've been having over the years. This is far more deep rooted than an answer on here can give. I would be happy to help you out more and ask that you contact me privately by email on this site. I would ... (read in full...)
Will she ever give me a second chance after something like this?
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me one month ago and it absolutely broke my heart. We had been dating for two years and she decided to end it about a week after our two year anniversary. I have taken this hard and she has given me reasons for why ...
A. 5 October 2008: First of all well done to you for getting the help for your emotional abuse, this couldn't have been an easy decision for you to make. Okay, YES there is every chance she will give things another go with you, there's always chances in this world. ... (read in full...)
How do I get his trust back?
Q. Okay basically my boyfriend of five months split up with me because we were going through a rough patch and he didnt see the point in us continuing anymore as it was so complicated. I was absolutely devastated as I loved and still love him with my ...
A. 5 October 2008: You need to earn his trust back again by remaining faithful to him while you have him as a friend. Actions speak louder than words. In the meantime BE his friend, tell him it's not a good idea that you get too close physically as he's already told ... (read in full...)
After so many years of his lies, I feel like I hate my husband!
Q. Hi, wondering if anyone can give me any advice? 7 years ago my husband went behind my back, went on holiday with his mate, both happy to keep me in the dark, my husband pretended to me he was going on a business trip.Just recently i decided to let b...
A. 5 October 2008: You seem a woman of very strong character. First of all you need to be totally upfront and honest with yourself and ask yourself WHY he went on holiday behind your back with his friend without telling you? Why would he do that? What was the ... (read in full...)
I feel like a failed mother as my son masturbates all the time.
Q. I am I concerned mother, my son is 14 years old, and he masturbates, but the thing is that, he masturbates anywhere he wants, last night we were having dinner, whith my husband, my other son and my two daughters, and he just started masturbating ...
A. 5 October 2008: It is normal for boys to masturbate around this age but there should be boundaries. I suggest you have a serious talk with your husband about this and let him know it's affecting his schooling. Let him know too that he's involved his little ... (read in full...)
I love her, she's beautiful, she's almost perfect but... I've never met her! What can I do about our LDR? I miss her!
Q. i am not out but my gf of 7 months is out bi, we have been together for 7 months(todays our anniversary) she has been in horrible relationships in the past and she says im the best shes ever been wit. shes madly in love with me, she adores me, ...
A. 4 October 2008: When we meet people online we tend to put up this persona of how we imagine them to act and to be like. No matter how beautiful and perfect "she seems", you won't know for sure if the chemistry is really there until you meet up and spend some time ... (read in full...)
I saw him back on line on the dating site we met on, while he is still affectionate with me. What's going on?
Q. I met a guy online just about 6 weeks ago,we met and hit it off completely,he got very serious very quickly,talking about the future etc.We both decided we were gonna start seeing each other and have done,we both agreed we feel as if we have known ...
A. 4 October 2008: Just because you seen him back on the site doesn't necessarily mean he's back on there looking for someone else. He's maybe just browsing until his subscription runs out too. If you took your profile OFF the dating site then how can you still see ... (read in full...)
Tips about intimacy with my husband? I am sexually frustrated but most of all I am hurt that he doesn't care enough to give me affection!
Q. Hi all I need some advice on how to improve sex/intimacy with my husband. ( He's 37, I am 30. No kids. )We've been together for 8 years and we love each other to bits. All is well except when it comes to sex and affection. He has always had trou...
A. 4 October 2008: I meant to ask you what star sign you and your husband were. Is he an Aquarius by any chance? (Hey not a bad thing to all Aquarius men out there, but it would explain a lot! lol)
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Tips about intimacy with my husband? I am sexually frustrated but most of all I am hurt that he doesn't care enough to give me affection!
Q. Hi all I need some advice on how to improve sex/intimacy with my husband. ( He's 37, I am 30. No kids. )We've been together for 8 years and we love each other to bits. All is well except when it comes to sex and affection. He has always had trou...
A. 4 October 2008: Does he ever initiate sex with you or are you always the one to do this? My suggestion to both of you is to refrain from intercourse for 2 full weeks. In the first week you can touch one another anywhere except the genital region, cuddle up ... (read in full...)
Am I a coward?
Q. I am having to ask advice for the first time in a while, a few years ago I got a divorce. It wasn't a good marriage and we would offen argue and both got physical once or twice. There have been few problems and the settlement was fairly amicable....
A. 4 October 2008: Under the circumstances I think you behaved admirably. You weren't to know who he was and when you found out you gave a mature and courteous answer so well done there. He probably would never have spoke with you if he was on his own, he needed a ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure whether he likes me
Q. Hi, I like a boy from school but don't know how to tell him. I think he likes me too but I'm not sure whether he really does. I always get embarresed when other people know about who I like.I am 11. I know I might seem too young to be on this site ...
A. 4 October 2008: If you like this boy then the best thing to do is befriend him, be his friend and let things develop naturally. Sometimes well meaning friends can embarrass you even more when he's around by dropping hints to him or shouting and teasing you when ... (read in full...)
My husband has started to cheat. What should I do?
Q. Hi i have been married since 3 years and have 2 months baby boy.my problem is tht my husband has started cheating me without any general reason .i m 23 and he is 24.i cant stand this as he does not love me and care for me any more.he doesnt even ...
A. 14 July 2008: You have just had a baby 2 months ago and have been pregnant 9 months. I am by no means condoning your husband's actions but could it be that he feels a bit left out? All of your attention is now on your new son and towards the latter part of your ... (read in full...)
I'm so deeply hurt and desperately need some wise advice.
Q. Hi everyone, I would truly appreciate some advice/opinions on a really upsetting situation that I have recently found myself in. You won't believe the unbelievable piece of bad luck that I and my girlfriend just experienced... I'm 31, my girl...
A. 6 May 2008: He was a charmer and put on a front for her, probably pretended he was things he wasn't and she slept with him ONLY because she was high. However after she came to her senses she seen him for what he really was and wasn't waiting around to be taken ... (read in full...)
Still in love with someone who moved on - do I fight for her back or am I chasing lost hope?
Q. I've been with this girl for almost 5 years with a couple minor breaks here and there. Over the past year we've grown comfortable and eventually both grew uninterested. I have had a bad habit of lying (things about finances or errands not done) and ...
A. 22 April 2008: If I were you I would send her a letter explaining to her the way you explained here in your question. Let her know you're making positive changes about yourself and not being from an emotional tactile background found it difficult to express your ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: New feature, "watched questions" list
Q. I've added a new feature that lets you add questions to your "watched questions" page. It's just an easy way to make a list of questions that interest you and that you want to keep track of. It's easy to remove items from the list or clear it. ...
A. 20 April 2008: Very helpful new feature. You said I was to remind you about the questions being categorised ie teenage questions, period questions etc. Just reminding you like you asked me to (winks). I know lots of people would like to see this added. I know ... (read in full...)
I feel that my vagina hole is small. Only one finger fits up and if you try two it hurts!
Q. I feel that my vagina hole is small. Only one finger fits up and if you try two it hurts! Also a dildo can't go up inside because it's so small. What's wrong ?...
A. 8 April 2008: If a vagina can open up to let a baby's head out then it's highly unlikely that you're too small. You're just too tense. You need to relax more and when you do this your vagina will stretch easily. This is why sex can be painful for some people ... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as someone out of your league?
Q. I have a crush on a professor of mine. But putting the ethics aside of whether it's appropriate dating a professor, is there such a thing of someone simply out of your league? Because that's how I feel. Of course, I don't think that he'll like me, ...
A. 6 April 2008: People can seem out of your league for many reasons, it may be they're from a higher class background, are better looking, seem more popular with the girls or have a successful career. The term "out of my league" is a negative state of mind from ... (read in full...)
Does he love me or is he just playing me?
Q. Hey everyone !! I'm 15 and I have a great guy in my life(16).He's not exactly a boyfriend but we act like it . He wants to ask me out offically when he see's me . ( we have never met before but it feels like i've known him forever!) he goe...
A. 6 April 2008: The word "babe" is a pet name a lot of people use, it doesn't necessarily mean you're an item. This guy is probably friends with a lot of other girls the same way you probably are with a lot of other boys. Both of you like to flirt with others, ... (read in full...)
Is it Ok for him to share thoughts, feelings, experiences with me by email if he's married?
Q. I friend I made a year ago, we met 4 business, but he left (GI) and go back to his base and family shortly after that. We keep in touch as friends, I always send good wishes to him and family. But I wonder cuz he talks about feelings (to his family) ...
A. 6 April 2008: It seems to me you like this man as more than a friend and you are looking for more from him that he can give you. You're playing a dangerous game with him and need to know that he IS married and is therefore unavailable. Only you know deep down ... (read in full...)
I've just got engaged but now I feel like pulling away for a little while?
Q. hello agony aunts, i am just recently engaged and have been with my fiance for 10 years. although i know that this engagement is the next logical step in our relationship, i can't help but feel that there is something missing. all of the pass...
A. 6 April 2008: You're in the 26-29 age bracked and have been with your fiance for 10 years which means you got together very young and probably haven't dated many men. Now that you're engaged you feel tied, resentful and unsure if this is what you really want. ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with him and try and make it work, or should I move on?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost four years now...we have a big past, we've both cheated...we've taken breaks....For a long time, I was the one chasing him around while he didnt want to settle down...now, he has changed his ways, and is ready ...
A. 6 April 2008: You've been together for 4 years and have a past together, he's probably the most serious relationship you've had and it's all become somewhat of a habitual relationship now. You are both maturing and want different things from life. Not all ... (read in full...)
Am I just a shameless flirt?
Q. I have a problem ... maybe mental problem ...or just a shameless flirt ... who knows I am madly in love with a boy I've never met in person! I really like a girl that's a really good friend (she knows but I told her I loved the guy so she backe...
A. 6 April 2008: You are perfectly normal, you're a teenager and that's the way teenagers act. The boy that you "love" that you've never met in person is simply a crush (I've had them too). You don't love him, you don't know him, you just have these feelings for ... (read in full...)
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