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... Send *uttyGooner a private message | | | *uttyGooner's profile:Hi there,
I am a 24 year old, who has lived the London life and have moved home to be closer to my bf. I work 2 jobs, life can be tough, but it's my choice to :o)
What makes me qualified to talk about relationships?
I am the product of a crappy relationship, and know first hand what the long term effects a bad relationship has on kids (Ever said "you should stay together for the sake of the kids"? or "I know it's hard, but you should try again as a child needs a mother and a father"? - God, I hate that, it's so bloody patronising! I know and believe differently).
I have had quite a few relationships of one form or another, some long term, some very short lived.
Relationships where I have tried to make things work despite a cheating, lies and a heavy work overload, ("I thought we were going to be together forever, he keeps cheating on me, but I don't know why I kept taking him back" - yup, that one!).
One guy I met once over the internet which refused to take no for an answer ("Why won't he accept that I don't want a relationship? All I said was that he is a nice guy and he will meet a nice girl - I didn't mean me!" - God, did that freak me out!)
An older guy who treated me like a princess, but when it came to the crunch and things got heavy - I ran a mile (not because I didn't care about the guy, I just wasn't ready for that level of commitment)!
A long distance relationship - which in the end resulted in me throwing caution to the wind and moving nearer the guy, which has resulted in me being happy (not only because of the relationship, but by making friends and being happy in what I do too!).
When I put put my answer in, I add my empathy, as well as my two cents. I have had friends cry on my shoulder, I've had a "burning party" - by which throwing tokens and reminders of exes on a fire - or a barbeque (depending on the unpredictable British weather) - but generally having a giggle and learning.
Which is one thing that definately makes me qualified to talk about relationships - I make mistakes, but I am always learning from them, and reading other people's responses help me to evolve.
Whatever my response, you don't have to listen to it, hell, you don't have to like it - I'm not here to be liked. I just write impartially, and what has worked for me! |
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I love my teacher.
Q. I'm 16 and my teacher's 44. I have a feeling that he might like me too. I know it's a big age difference, but I can't help it. He's in here. *points to heart* I can never tell if he's flirting with me or not. When he sits next to me, he's ...
A. 28 April 2007: I've had a few like that.
Now you want some advice on what to do? Steer clear! It will just cause one collosal mess! He's the coach and you are on one of the sports teams, no wonder he feels comfortable talking to you, he might feel embarras... (read in full...)
Treated me well until I got attached, Now hes got me where he wants me hes awful to me!!
Q. i have become a emotional wreck,i have been divorced for 2 years.i got my own house and my 14 year old son lives with me,wasnt to much worried about dating,but thought it would be nice to find someone one day to settle down with and spend the rest ...
A. 27 April 2007: You know in your heart what needs to be done.
I know you love him, but he is turning you into, in your own works, and "emotional wreck" - you deserve more than that!
He said that he didn't want to settle down, and he doesn't care - let him g... (read in full...)
I was sexually abused and now I find my bf looking at child porn!!
Q. Last year I found out on my bf's computer that he was looking at porn... but also he was looking at pictures of 11-15 year old boys.. It broke my heart when I found this. I confronted him about this and the fight ended up as me being the bad guy ...
A. 27 April 2007: Sweetie, being with a liar is the last thing anyone would want in a relationship. You have give him enough chances to sort this out, and he wouldn't give you that courtesy!
Knowing that he is looking at child pornography after how it affected... (read in full...)
Im so lonely, I had no one to dance with at the wedding as usual and Im soooo shy, please help!
Q. I have just come back from a family wedding and i am so lonely as when i was taking photos of the first dance the bride and groom invited everyone up and i had no one to dance with. I am painfully shy with girls and have only had 1 serious ...
A. 27 April 2007: Awww! Having no one to dance with at a wedding isn't the be all and end all (at least it's better than dancing with the 50 something lady with the moustache!)
My other half is painfully shy himself, it took for me to make the first move! Don't pr... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my friend but lately he has been telling me to get over him and meet other guys.
Q. I have feelings for my friend but lately he has been telling me to get over him and meet other guys. He called me yesterday and asked me if I've been talking to guys and I responded no so he got mad at me and told me that I better have a boyfriend ...
A. 27 April 2007: Not much of a friend, is he?
Big deal you aren't seeing another guy, tell this joker that you will get a boyf on your terms, not because he demands it. You might like him, but he has no right to get mad at you for having the disease I call "st... (read in full...)
Slept with 6 different men unprotected! Im pregnant, Should I keep the baby ?
Q. Im Pregnant.. For the past 3 months i have been sleeping with several different guys, six.. two of them are teachers in my school.. usually i stay behind to do "coursework" but always turns into something else.. i have recently found out im pre...
A. 27 April 2007: Oh dear oh dear, I'm going to get off of my moral soapbox here, because berating you is not going to help. This is more than just a dilly of a pickle.
First things first, are you sure you are pregnant? Periods don't normally settle down until yo... (read in full...)
How do I stop staring at their tits?
Q. I'm almost 14 and I'm really pariniod about being called a pervert. When girls wear tank tops and stuff I intentially notice their breasts first, but the second I realise what I'm looking I blink a bit and hope no one saw and just try to act ...
A. 27 April 2007: Not a freak, just a perfectly normal bloke... I cover up, and still find people (from teenage customers in the restaurant to the middle aged bus driver!) talking to my tits.
Glance, but don't stare, otherwise you'll find a quick clout on the chop... (read in full...)
I recently found out that my girlfriend bragged about our sex life to her small group of friends.
Q. I recently found out that my girlfriend bragged about our sex life to her small group of friends. I was shocked... I don't know if it was a bad shock or a good shock. Probably a little bit of bad shock, but mostly good. Its just, I have never ...
A. 27 April 2007: I talk to my girlfriends about sex, we natter a lot about niggling problems or new things to try, a sort of girlie bonding over couple of Mojitos.
Don't worry about it, it's accepted that guys talk about their sex life to their mates, but it is so... (read in full...)
My boss seems infatuated with me but he's married, should I go for it?
Q. Hi, I've been working at a restaurant for about six months and my boss has been flirting with me. To begin with i just thought that it was friendly flirting but last month he gave me a huge bouquet of flowers, everyone starting talking and since ...
A. 11 April 2007: We told you so!
You have people talking about you, the poo has hit the fan and you're wondering why this has happened to you?
You haven't fallen in love with him you dozy mare, you're just getting a kick from stirring the crap pot!
Grow up,... (read in full...)
I've tried to throw him out but he claims he has no where to go, I have 2 kids to consider here, what do I do?
Q. Hi I have only just found out that my partner of 11 years has been cheating on me and got another woman pregnant, as you can imagine I am totally gutted, he says he wants to stay with me and loves me but I keep finding text messages on his phone. ...
A. 12 March 2007: Ummm, you need to consider your two children, I agree, but why do you want to have such a liar and drunk hanging around them? And why would you want someone you don't trust around your 2 kids?
My mother made the hardest, but the best decision... (read in full...)
My boss seems infatuated with me but he's married, should I go for it?
Q. Hi, I've been working at a restaurant for about six months and my boss has been flirting with me. To begin with i just thought that it was friendly flirting but last month he gave me a huge bouquet of flowers, everyone starting talking and since ...
A. 12 March 2007: Umm, I hate to burst a few bubbles here, but she is reciprocating the flirting, this isn't sexual harrassment we are dealing with here, and in the UK, the legal age of consent is 16. I still stand by my no, no, no, no, NO! because messing a round ... (read in full...)
What is the connection between the French Maid and Sex?
Q. I Was Just Wondering what The Connection Between The French Maid And Sex ? I Would Find It Really Helpful For A Quick Responce A I Wanna Giv My Boyfriend Somethin he Will Never Forget thank you x...
A. 12 March 2007: Crikey, you two must have been seeing each other for about a month, because I remember you being so heartbroken about a boy in London in Feb! Is this the same guy who you are so totally in love with that is moving to Cornwall this summer? Call ... (read in full...)
Can anybody help with baby names??
Q. I need some suggestions on baby names. I`m due at the end of the month and its a boy! I want something different but not CRAZY different! HELP!...
A. 12 March 2007: Congratulations to you! Me myself personally, I like the names Factna, Faxon, Stephen (don't get many with that spelling anymore!), Benoit and, in particular Gerrard (I always wanted a Gerry!) For a girl, I love the names Saiorse (Pronounc... (read in full...)
How often do women think of their past sexual partners?
Q. I have general questions for women. How often do women think of their past sexual partners? I'm curious because my girlfriend seems to bring up(in converstaion) people she has slept with at random moments. ...
A. 9 March 2007: When writing posts on here, I draw from my past partners - outside of here, I'm all my bf's... however, when he brings up his ex, or the "first love of his life" - THEN I talk about my ex! The conversation changes quick enough!... (read in full...)
Why do people hurt partners, cheat, or just disappear?
Q. Why do people hurt partners, cheat, or just disappear?...
A. 9 March 2007: I don't intentionally choose cheaters as partners, however, when I find them to be, they find themselves residing in Dumpsville: population: them!... (read in full...)
My boss seems infatuated with me but he's married, should I go for it?
Q. Hi, I've been working at a restaurant for about six months and my boss has been flirting with me. To begin with i just thought that it was friendly flirting but last month he gave me a huge bouquet of flowers, everyone starting talking and since ...
A. 7 March 2007: No, No, No , No, NO!
Anyway, I work in a very busy restaurant part time, and flirting is rife! but no one ever acts on it, as in office relationships, when things go tits up, it gets very messy! Restaurants are very stressful environments to work ... (read in full...)
Am I ever going to be able to track him down and get any payments out of him towards bringing up our son?
Q. Hi I'm not sure if anyone can help me. I need advise or words from Americans please, sorry not being prejudiced but you will see why when you read my question. My ex went off to USA last year. Hasn't paid any maintenance money for our son - ever! ...
A. 6 March 2007: I can sympathise with you - the CSA are worse than useless! My mother and father never married, but after 8 years of physical and emotional abuse (not to mention the abuse he dished out to his 2 young children) she walked out taking us with h... (read in full...)
He is only in the marriage because of the child. Is there any hope for me?
Q. what do i do about loving a man who is in an unhappy marriage and stays in it for the sake of his child? i have known this man for a year and a half we are both sober. at first we were just friends. he was separated from his wife and has a small ...
A. 6 March 2007: Umm... Who said anything about alcohol - or does rosy specs have a different meaning in the USA? I can only pay attention to what you write - From what you say, all I can gather is that you are seeing a bloke, but not shagging him, and he is s... (read in full...)
Cheated with my two friends who both have gf's!!
Q. Recently i broke up with my 2 years bf that i really love alot. I was really sad because he never give me a reason of breaking up with me. To cut things short, after 2 months, i met up with 1 of my for years friend, we seldom see each other bu...
A. 6 March 2007: Feel free to be friends with them, but don't take it any further with these guys, you owe it to yourself, honey!
All the best,
Nutty xxx... (read in full...)
He is only in the marriage because of the child. Is there any hope for me?
Q. what do i do about loving a man who is in an unhappy marriage and stays in it for the sake of his child? i have known this man for a year and a half we are both sober. at first we were just friends. he was separated from his wife and has a small ...
A. 6 March 2007: I wasn't having a go at you at all - The only thing I am critical of is you making excuses for him. I would not mind it as much, but as you said, they moved back in together - if the marriage is as bad as he was telling you, it wouldn't be like ... (read in full...)
This might sound silly but I have been married 17 years and I feel my wife and I are closer than ever. Is this normal?
Q. hi i know this might be a stupid question but me and my wife have been together for 17 years, close friends all our life and married for 7 years. Is it normal for me to feel that way i do for her becuase loads of other poeple who have been together ...
A. 5 March 2007: Hey! That's a great post, nice to see a happy relationship on here from time to time! My other half's parents are like that (I find post-it's they leave each other every once in a while when making a round of tea etc), and the dad is always callin... (read in full...)
He is only in the marriage because of the child. Is there any hope for me?
Q. what do i do about loving a man who is in an unhappy marriage and stays in it for the sake of his child? i have known this man for a year and a half we are both sober. at first we were just friends. he was separated from his wife and has a small ...
A. 5 March 2007: I'm sorry if you do not want to hear this, but he has fed you that old chestnut of being in an unhappy marriage but won't leave "for the sake of the child". For crying out loud they moved back in together, can't be that miserable can it seeing as ... (read in full...)
Cheated with my two friends who both have gf's!!
Q. Recently i broke up with my 2 years bf that i really love alot. I was really sad because he never give me a reason of breaking up with me. To cut things short, after 2 months, i met up with 1 of my for years friend, we seldom see each other bu...
A. 5 March 2007: I'm in agreement with Shandy, You're on the rebound, hunny, you're not a bad girl. It takes two to fool around! What about these 2 guys with gfs? Are they not also in the wrong for getting up to no good behind their gfs back? Walk away, don'... (read in full...)
I give good advice, so why are my ratings bad?
Q. Dear agony aunts, I am feeling a bit down at the moment. Why? Because like you I am an agony aunt but unfortunately my ratings have been going down and it makes me feel well (excuse my French)…“sh***y.” I don’t think I give bad advice so I don’t ...
A. 2 March 2007: It happens to me all the time - I have the habit of giving people what the advice they don't want to hear (my ratings have improved recently, and my Aunt friends don't understand where I am going wrong! LOL!) - but usually it is the truth, but they ... (read in full...)
What do men think of long nails on women ?
Q. Do men like long nails on a woman??? Do they consider them as sexual or just a part of being groomed??...
A. 2 March 2007: My ex liked the look, but he didn't like it when he ended up with scratches on embarrasing places during foreplay!
Oh, and a nail one pinged into his face in the throes of passion - I have been wary of false nails since!... (read in full...)
My husband only wants to debate and talk about politics and world issues! It's driving me crazy! Ahhhh!
Q. Hello. I'm having a bit of a problem with my marriage. My husband doesn't stop debating and doesn't want to talk about anything other than current events. It's in his nature to debate everything - his father is the exact same way - that's just ...
A. 2 March 2007: Hi again,
The thing is is that my bf and I identified it early on, and nipped it in the bud before we bored the hell out of one another, for you it's been a long ride on a one way street, so it will take a little longer for your husband to aknow... (read in full...)
Planning on doing "it" tonight... but should I trim first?
Q. Im 14 and planning on having sex at a house party. It is my first time and I was just wondering if anyone knows if teenage boys prefer shaved or natural hairs? Please reply asap as the house party is tonight and I would like to know. so i can ...
A. 2 March 2007: Sorry Lana - I disagree,
I'm not prepared to give advice to incite someone to break the law. Would you put someone in touch with the right person if they wanted to hire a contract killer?
Thought not.
It's called being responsible. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend just dumped me as I have a big nose!! Im now scared to date again!!!
Q. my boyfriend just dumped me becase i have a big nose. im scared now to go back out into the world and find another man incase he doesnt like my big nose. what shall i do signed bignose...
A. 2 March 2007: Hiya,
I don't like my nose, I hate my pasty skin and I have stumpy legs, but I have leant to live with them, as there are other things which are gorgeous about me! You are still young, and it is so easy to blame something on how you look - but yo... (read in full...)
I feel like I should have been a more "dominant" male instead of treating her as an equal...
Q. I've screwed up I guess, I should have taken charge early on. I should have tried to take her in hand so to speak. I guess that I'm a bit naieve to be honest in that respect. I lost my father when I was 7yrs old, so didn't have a father figure. M...
A. 2 March 2007: Yeuch! Dominant males turn me off! I was seeing a control freak of a bloke donkey's back, whenever I made a decision about my lifem (ie. work, pets, hair dye), he felt that his views take more presedence over mine!
I like being treated as an eq... (read in full...)
Why do guys go for girls who cant seem to stand on their own two feet??
Q. Why are men attracted to women who can't seem to stand on their own two feet? My guy friend wants a confident, independent woman who can take care of herself. But he ends up dating women who are carrying a lot of emotional and physical baggage. The ...
A. 2 March 2007: to Anon - These girls you described, from my experience, also tend to be vacacious, indulged, childish, shallow and spoilt as they have no concept of the real world, and as long as daddy or sugar-daddy is there to clear up their mess, then where is ... (read in full...)
Why do guys go for girls who cant seem to stand on their own two feet??
Q. Why are men attracted to women who can't seem to stand on their own two feet? My guy friend wants a confident, independent woman who can take care of herself. But he ends up dating women who are carrying a lot of emotional and physical baggage. The ...
A. 2 March 2007: "Based on my interpretation, Girls who have had been nurtured and protected by their parents since childhood tend to prefer guys who would be able to provide similar environment for her. Not to mention, these girls are also the ones who are quite ... (read in full...)
My husband only wants to debate and talk about politics and world issues! It's driving me crazy! Ahhhh!
Q. Hello. I'm having a bit of a problem with my marriage. My husband doesn't stop debating and doesn't want to talk about anything other than current events. It's in his nature to debate everything - his father is the exact same way - that's just ...
A. 2 March 2007: Stick with it, he's probably not used to the idea of a 2 way conversational compromise. You need top remind him that it shouldn't be a one night wonder, but an ongoing process. My other half is a computer nut, and I'm a Compliance bore!
He wi... (read in full...)
He called me a spiteful bitch so I dumped him, should I take him back?
Q. Well all i ca say is it isnt my first time of breaking up, so why is it so god damn hard? I've been with Gav a year ad a half things was great..(thats how it is) and month after month we was getting fed up of each other, he knew i wasnt happy but i ...
A. 2 March 2007: Recall the words "Spiteful bitch" each and everytime you are remotely tempted to go back to this soul destroying git - it worked for me! You let him know where you were, you invited him along, as you said, he didn't return the same courtesy, w... (read in full...)
Why do women prefer dark-haired men?
Q. Why do women in the UK always praise dark hair? Has it become something that women say regardless. I never hear a woman , or extremely rarely, who says she prefers blond hair on men. I have seen two surveys done in the UK in the last four ...
A. 2 March 2007: Though neilevans, I have to admit, you've posted 3 threads about women being picky about hair colour.
Give it a rest, and lighten up, stop obsessing over hair colour, there is such a thing as hair dye if it is that big an issue!
You can messa... (read in full...)
Why do guys go for girls who cant seem to stand on their own two feet??
Q. Why are men attracted to women who can't seem to stand on their own two feet? My guy friend wants a confident, independent woman who can take care of herself. But he ends up dating women who are carrying a lot of emotional and physical baggage. The ...
A. 2 March 2007: A lot of guys I know relish in the role of being the protective alpha male. They say they want a woman who has a high flying job, wants to go places in life, and they don't want a lass who lets it out for all to see and have a smart conversati... (read in full...)
Should I choose Sociology or Religious studies as a GCSE subject? plz help me choose.
Q. i'm 14 from England, London and i'm in year 9 and its time for my GCSE options. i already know which ones i'm going to take as i really really really would love to become a lawyer, i have my career planned out already. but the thing is i hate my ...
A. 2 March 2007: I really wanted to be a laywer when I grew up before I got lured away in my current career path. I studied RE at GCSE level, and I thought it was very rewarding. I found it a lot of fun, and it does broaden one's horizons! - it's not a soft option, ... (read in full...)
Why do women prefer dark-haired men?
Q. Why do women in the UK always praise dark hair? Has it become something that women say regardless. I never hear a woman , or extremely rarely, who says she prefers blond hair on men. I have seen two surveys done in the UK in the last four ...
A. 2 March 2007: I've been out with all kinds of guys - I'm not shallow enough to pick a bf because of his hair colour, admittedly, the majory of my exes are blonds. It's about the whole package, if I was single, I'm not likely to say "I would date you, but here's a ... (read in full...)
i have been asked on a date only twice but both times were joking..why would they do that?
Q. ok so i am 16 yrs old and i haven't had a bf yet! where i come from it's not bad not to have had a bf..and i have never been asked out on a date before as i have been really fat but now managed to be 180lb is that really fat..i mean my mom says i am ...
A. 2 March 2007: There's nothing wrong with you at all, teen boys are not exactly the most tactful, nor the most sensitive types! You're still young, sweetie - and I was a late bloomer, crikey, you wouldn't recognise me from my school photos! I saw boys do that to ... (read in full...)
Friday we fought, Saturday we had great make-up-sex, Tuesday I got dumped... Why?!
Q. been with my boyfriend for 3 years nearly, we went out friday and had a fight. saturday we were absolutely fine and had the best sex all day long. sunday night and monday he started to act distant and now hes ended it on tuesday, we live together ...
A. 1 March 2007: Well, I've had huge arguments with partners, one which stands out was one where we went from saying "I love you" to 10 minutes later having a huge blow out arguement (friends involved the lot) - through lack of communication. Dumped by text, me ... (read in full...)
Should I remain indifferent and see if they would make the first move?
Q. When I was young, I found that some girls showed interest in me when i acted indifferent to them. As an adult, I am still living in a dilemma whether I should express my interest to them first or remain indifferent and wait for them to make a move. ...
A. 1 March 2007: Why wait? Go to a red light district and just pay for it?
No hang ups about first move, no conversation, just souless sex by the hour.
What? You want a freebie? Then I'm sorry to disappoint, you are going to have to at least hold a conversat... (read in full...)
Planning on doing "it" tonight... but should I trim first?
Q. Im 14 and planning on having sex at a house party. It is my first time and I was just wondering if anyone knows if teenage boys prefer shaved or natural hairs? Please reply asap as the house party is tonight and I would like to know. so i can ...
A. 1 March 2007: You'll have a better time afterwards by just saying "no".
At least you won't get branded the shcool bike for years to come, you'll have some dignity and - it might sound daft to you - but guys respect girls who don't give it away with a can of S... (read in full...)
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