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Ever since I can remember people have always fascinated me. I seemed to be very adept at solving people’s “life” problems and I never tired of the constant flow of friends asking for my help. I have always been a great listener and have a lot of patience and empathy for people and have written for advice columns in the past.
I am a Relationships Councillor and Life Coach and have a special aptitude with people. I have been active on this site for a number of years. I'm very much a positive thinker and hate being around negative people. Life is for living, it's too short to moan all the time. I'm determined, very spiritual, grounded, independent, strong willed and love life. Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.
If you realized just how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought. The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
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| Latest articles: REAL Love!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 July 2010: I have written this blog a few times but I thought I'd write it in an "article", that way people can always view it. To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love"...
Some tips for a happy marriage!
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: MARRIAGE - WHAT IS EXPECTED IN A MARRIAGE? Once you marry, don’t expect everything just to fall into place. Marriage is a serious commitment but it needs to be continually worked at. Too many people today go into marriage for the wrong reasons, t...
20 questions to ask someone on a date!
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: So many of the younger ones on this site tend to be a bit tongue tied about what to ask their date so here are 20 things to ask someone on that first date. 1. What do you like to do when you're not working? 2. Where in the world would you most...
Why do you think marriages break up more now than in the past?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: Do you remember years ago when families used to sit in at nights? They had no TV, no computer games, no telephones, no DVD's, no video recorders etc etc. They had one another! They had TIME to get to know one another, to BE with one another to ...
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Should I tell anyone she was raped? Or just stay silent?
Q. My friend told me yesterday that she had been raped two weeks ago, i was in complete shock and didnt really know what to say, i promised her i wouldnt say anything to anyone, but she says she crys her self to sleep every night since then, in worry ...
A. 19 July 2009: I have been asked to comment on this question from one of the aunts so here is what I advise... This poor girl has been through a horrific ordeal which, if not acted on, will affect her and any future relationships for the rest of her life. She ... (read in full...)
All chip in! How do you know when your in love?
Q. Ok, everyone has to chip in here, since it's a very varied thing; how do you know when you're in love? :)...
A. 4 July 2009: To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love" with them but of course this can't be, they love the idea of who they are but if they've never met them then it's just ... (read in full...)
Is she just not ready for commitment?
Q. I met this girl and have known her for almost 2 months, from the start we just hit things off, and when i spent time with her, i had the greatest time of my life... she didn't tell me right away, but i found out that she had recently gotten out of a ...
A. 28 June 2009: Okay, here's my take on your question and I'm being blunt and totally honest here. She likes you but not enough to have a serious relationship with you. I don't think she intended to have sex with you, it just happened and now she's gotten into a ... (read in full...)
Am I the ONE for him?
Q. So I been with this guy for a year now, and we also just had our first kid on april 2nd. So it wasn't that much longer after we got together that i got pregnant. okay. He wasn't ready for kids, i wasn't on the pill and it feels alot better without a ...
A. 28 June 2009: A lot has happened in the months you've been together. He's a dad now and that in itself brings on new pressures and reponsibilities. I would take things slowly at the moment. Get used to being parents. If you haven't already you could talk ... (read in full...)
Am I getting the feelings too soon or am I getting feelings mixed up?
Q. I need a bit of help the girl I am with at the moment I dont know how long we have been together but i know when i told her i still liked her on the 3rd of april 2009 (I have been attracted to her since college, she started in september 2004 an...
A. 28 June 2009: It sure sounds as if you are falling for her. I wouldn't say you were getting feelings too soon. When you take your relationship to the next level (sleep together) then a lot of different feelings emerge. You spend a lot of time together and text ... (read in full...)
Your advice is sorely needed. What should I do about my feelings for my ex?
Q. I am in a relationship with a girl but I still fancy my ex girlfriend whom I dated in college. My ex girlfriend says no she will never date me again. What should I do about my feelings for my ex?...
A. 24 June 2009: If your ex has told you that there's no chance of a reconcilliation with her then you need to forget about her and concentrate on looking for the good qualities in the girlfriend you have now. You're not being fair to her dating her and fancying ... (read in full...)
How do you break up with someone when you know it will crush them?
Q. How do you break up with someone when you know it will crush them? I care deeply about my bf but I can't handle our relationship any more. The problems between us I can't see getting resolved and I just have to get out. But how!? I don't ha...
A. 12 June 2009: It's always difficult when you want to break up yet are still fond of that person and don't want to hurt them. Here is a link that hopefully will enable you to do it sensitively.
http:... (read in full...)
I need support from someone. Should I call my ex or let him go?
Q. So my ex broke up with me almost 2 months ago after being together for two years. The reason was because he felt we needed space. Basically the whole 2 years was all about each other...we were each others lives.He even talked about marriage a lot.. ...
A. 27 May 2009: You and your ex are probably each others first serious relationship and you'll always remember one another. I feel, although your ex likes you a lot he's been unhappy. You are both maturing and changing as time goes on and I think his priorities ... (read in full...)
Guy asked me out and then disappeared
Q. I've been talking to this guy on the internet for about a month now. We get along fine and flirt a lot, we have everything in common. We met once already and he asked me to a movie this weekend. I said yes. The day before we were supposed to go he ...
A. 24 May 2009: If you have his cell phone number then send him a text asking how he is or like rhythmandblues said, send him a friendly email. Sounds to me he's taken cold feet. Did you sleep with him when you met?
~Eve~... (read in full...)
He's all I ever think about... am I in love?
Q. Dear cupid, I think I'm in love. How do I know for sure though. I've been seeing this guy for five months. Three months into this whole thing he would tell me that he loved me but I would quickly change the subject because I wanted him to te...
A. 22 May 2009: To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love" with them but of course this can't be, they love the idea of who they are but if they've never met them then it's just ... (read in full...)
I cant help thinking my dream may have meant something!
Q. I have this incredeble coincidences,and I don't know what to think of them. Let me give you one idea,how crazy they are. So I had a very disturbing dream about rats are attacking me, in a laboratory, and I just felt bad for hours, but later I turn...
A. 21 May 2009: Because this dream about rats was so disturbing you have become very perceptive of anything to do with rats and where before you had the dream these incidences might still have occurred you were not as aware of them up until you had the dream.
... (read in full...)
Is 12 sexual partners considered slutty?
Q. I've just starting going out with a great girl, we are both 22, but recently found out that she has had 12 sexual partners, I didn't take the news well, she has only had 1 one night stand in her past but I am still concerned that she sounds slutty ...
A. 18 May 2009: You will get people who will answser Yes, that's too many and you'll get others who will say No, that's fine. No answer is right or wrong, they are only opinions! She has had her reasons for sleeping with 12 guys. Maybe she had a sad upbringing ... (read in full...)
I need to make him trust in me
Q. I met this guy on a cruise 2 months ago. We had this amazing connection unlike anything I had ever imagined. He told me he was 33 (i'm 23) because i was joking and saying how older men always hit on me. Turns out, he confessed a week later, he's ...
A. 18 May 2009: If he could lie to you about his age then he can lie to you about other things. Do you know for a fact he's single again? Have you been to his home? It could be that he made up the whole story and he's juggling you with someone else... (just keep ... (read in full...)
Any ideas for bringing this relationship back from the grave?
Q. Me and my fiance have been together for nearly 3 years and the last few months he has been completely withdrawn from our relationship, he hardly talks to me, he is all the time saying mean things to me and so on and so forth. Last night i finally ...
A. 18 May 2009: I know this isn't what you want to hear but the main reason we have relationships is to see if we're both compatible with one another. It seems to me that your relationship seems to have burned itself out and from your fiance's viewpoint at least ... (read in full...)
Married, unhappy, unhealthy wife & no sex for 20 years..should I leave?
Q. Hi, I have a question that is really troubling me. I am a 62 yr. man and I am married to a good woman for 37 years. She has been decent until the last 10 years when she let herself become morbidly obese and now in the past year, she had a stroke and ...
A. 11 May 2009: Remember it's a difficult situation you're in but NOT an impossible one! If you want to talk about this some more in private, either to vent, throw around some possibilities, confide in a friend or just to get it off your chest then feel free to ... (read in full...)
Married, unhappy, unhealthy wife & no sex for 20 years..should I leave?
Q. Hi, I have a question that is really troubling me. I am a 62 yr. man and I am married to a good woman for 37 years. She has been decent until the last 10 years when she let herself become morbidly obese and now in the past year, she had a stroke and ...
A. 11 May 2009: This is a very difficult situation for you as no amount of talking to her (you said) would make any difference (and you know her better than anyone!) At 62 years old, although not "past it" by any means, you have a lot to take into account. For ... (read in full...)
Married 10 years but still not having normal sex
Q. i have been married for 10 years and have not been able to have regular sex like a normal person. we have not been able to penetrate. how can i get rid of the fear of pain?...
A. 6 May 2009: You are not alone, lots of women tend to clamp up at the thought of something being inserted into their vagina and this includes tampons. Can you give me a little bit more information about WHY you feel this way? Did something happen to you when ... (read in full...)
She turned everything all around
Q. Rightt here we go agaaain Theres this girl I've beeen speakin to on msn for about 2 months now, and were always on and off, like I think we both like each other but it's never as simple as that, there is Always something in the way, another boy...
A. 6 May 2009: If you want something badly enough then sometimes you need to take risks. You are both young and everything that happens (especially re lovelife) seems major and hey that's okay, it's called growing up. Don't read too much into her ending her ... (read in full...)
How compatible are we, judging by the signs?
Q. I am a female pisces/aries cusp (34 years old) ,dating a male virgo/libra cusp (28 years old). How compatible are we? Because both our signs are on a cusp there is alot of conflicting information. I would appreciate any insight....
A. 30 April 2009: Aries starts on March 21st so you're definitely an Aries but you will have a little bit of Pisces in you too (which could make you quite emotional), much more of Aries though. Your partner is definitely a Virgo as Libra starts on September 23rd. ... (read in full...)
How compatible are we, judging by the signs?
Q. I am a female pisces/aries cusp (34 years old) ,dating a male virgo/libra cusp (28 years old). How compatible are we? Because both our signs are on a cusp there is alot of conflicting information. I would appreciate any insight....
A. 29 April 2009: Can I ask what ARE your actual dates of birth?
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Boyfriend posts pictures from your joint vacation and leaves you OUT of the pictures?
Q. Ok, I'm embarrassed to even have to write this -- because it sounds so juvenille, and I am 31 years old, but I want a sounding board, so please respond honestly. I just got back from a week in Italy with my boyfriend of 2 and 1/2 years. He was se...
A. 27 April 2009: When he said he was "drunk, and did something stupid", was he talking about putting these pictures up without you in them or maybe something else...? It could be one of 2 things.
1. He's trying to impress another female with his pictures... (read in full...)
I'm in my fifties and he's keeping me on hold
Q. Although I've answered many questions on this site I now have one of my own. I'm 56 and I went out with a man 7 years ago for just 5 weeks until his ex partner intervened and claimed him back! It hurt me very deeply at the time. He has now asked me ...
A. 26 April 2009: The project finishes in 2 weeks so that's good. In the meantime continue going to the dancing but dance with other men too and let him see that you are open and friendly with more people than just him.
If he doesn't want to hurt you again th... (read in full...)
I'm in my fifties and he's keeping me on hold
Q. Although I've answered many questions on this site I now have one of my own. I'm 56 and I went out with a man 7 years ago for just 5 weeks until his ex partner intervened and claimed him back! It hurt me very deeply at the time. He has now asked me ...
A. 26 April 2009: I think it's the situation that's doing your head in and not him personally and I'm sure when you both spend time together things are great and I think he just needs a "prod" from you to kick him into gear. Did he tell you that when this building ... (read in full...)
Married 24 years, no affection left
Q. Please let me know how do you feel about this? Married for 24 years,3 kids together.. -kids ,are grown up but needy -husband totally cold,but says he loves me -we have no sex life -we fight a lot,on working too much,and lack of affection ...
A. 20 April 2009: I'm assuming you're the Sagittarius and your husband is the Libra right?
Don't think negatively all the time or negativity is what you'll bring into your life. If you try to think more positively then positivity is what will be drawn to you. ... (read in full...)
Advice on prenup agreement please!
Q. My boyriend and I have been dating for 1 year, I am only 19 and he is nearly turning 20 and we currently have been living together for 4 months. Today he began telling me that he was getting a big pay out from an insurance claim he has from bein...
A. 20 April 2009: Before a man and woman are married they CAN 'plan for a future event' by having an "arrangement" or "prenuptial agreement" (also known as a prenup) drawn up before the wedding or civil union. This arrangement or prenup would consist of a contract, ... (read in full...)
I have bruises from where he thumped me!
Q. A few days ago I threw my boyfriend his phone and I haven't got a really good aim and it sort of hit him in the side of the face, not hard, and I apologised and said something like 'eek sorry you know I'm crap at aiming' and he grabbed me and ...
A. 20 April 2009: I can totally see where PVT guy is coming from. He did one of the lesser evils, he hit her on the arm. I don't think that's enough evidence to say "leave the abuser" lol. She shouldn't have thrown the phone at him in the first place and he ... (read in full...)
Married 24 years, no affection left
Q. Please let me know how do you feel about this? Married for 24 years,3 kids together.. -kids ,are grown up but needy -husband totally cold,but says he loves me -we have no sex life -we fight a lot,on working too much,and lack of affection ...
A. 20 April 2009: Has anything happened in your husband's life to cause him trauma? Something is eating away at him and he's keeping this in, I can see it a mile off! He's either in denial, feeling very guilty about something or possibly grieving.
Has your mar... (read in full...)
Are Pisces and Virgos compatible?
Q. Ok, for those of you who know astrology well, I'd appreciate if you would shed some insight on my situation. First of all, I haven't been on the dating scene in awhile because my last relationship lasted 5 years...it was also my first so this is...
A. 19 April 2009: Have a look at this link, it should answer any questions you might have.
http://www.astrologyzone.com/lifelove/matchmaker/virgo_pisces.html
Hope it helps!
~Eve~... (read in full...)
The adults on this site are so annoying!!!
Q. God, can I just say. Adults on this site are so annoying. I am 13. I haven't asked any... I dunno, sex related questions personally. But looking at the responses for people who are 13 and having sex issues like that girl with the vibrator ect. You ...
A. 19 April 2009: What do we as adults have that you as kids don't? Life experience and wisdom! When you're older you'll know exactly what that means. Kids bodies are still growing and developing at 11, 12, 13 etc, their hormones and emotions are also all over the ... (read in full...)
Stuck in a depressing rut, please help!
Q. I am very lonely, I have no friends, no boyfriend, there is nowhere to go in town, its living here. Nobody understands my loneliness and my sadness. I cry because I am so lonely and upset. There is nothing I can do about it. I go nowhere, I spend ...
A. 18 April 2009: I think you sound genuinely depressed and my advice is to go and make an appointment with your GP. Tell him how you're feeling and ask him for help. I'm sorry if you feel we've come down on you quite hard, that is NOT our intention. Yes, you do ... (read in full...)
Stuck in a depressing rut, please help!
Q. I am very lonely, I have no friends, no boyfriend, there is nowhere to go in town, its living here. Nobody understands my loneliness and my sadness. I cry because I am so lonely and upset. There is nothing I can do about it. I go nowhere, I spend ...
A. 18 April 2009: Is this what you always do when people try to talk with you? Tell them they don't understand you and to forget it? Help me understand then... come on... talk to me! I'm listening and will try to help you.
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Stuck in a depressing rut, please help!
Q. I am very lonely, I have no friends, no boyfriend, there is nowhere to go in town, its living here. Nobody understands my loneliness and my sadness. I cry because I am so lonely and upset. There is nothing I can do about it. I go nowhere, I spend ...
A. 18 April 2009: This is the same question you asked before. I gave you my advice on the other thread. (See link below)
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-am-so-very-lonely-and-living-in.html
Like I said before to you, you need to change your ATTITUDE and be ... (read in full...)
I am so very lonely and living in a dead town doesn't help with nobody to talk to...
Q. I am very lonely, I have no friends, no boyfriend, there is nowhere to go in town, its living here. Nobody understands my loneliness and my sadness. I cry because I am so lonely and upset. There is nothing I can do about it. I go nowhere, I ...
A. 17 April 2009: There are jobs in every country to be gotten, you just need to look for them! I live in Scotland in a little rural village of less than 1,000 people so I know I DO understand more than you think. Like I said before YOU need to make things happen! ... (read in full...)
I am so very lonely and living in a dead town doesn't help with nobody to talk to...
Q. I am very lonely, I have no friends, no boyfriend, there is nowhere to go in town, its living here. Nobody understands my loneliness and my sadness. I cry because I am so lonely and upset. There is nothing I can do about it. I go nowhere, I ...
A. 17 April 2009: You need to give yourself a kick up the backside! You are feeling so sorry for yourself. Of course if this is how you're feeling and you're convinced that things will never get better they won't, plain and simple! CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE!!! Ins... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do when "doing a blowjob"
Q. Me and this boy have been talking and we want to move to oral sex! Well I really don't know what to do when doing a blowjob. Can anyone tell me how because I don't wanna look like a complete fool and not know what I'm doing. Please help!...
A. 16 April 2009: You have known this guy for 2 minutes and already you want to perform oral sex on him? Oral sex is for ADULTS and is a very intimate expression of how you feel about one another. You are far too young to be doing this. The very fact you have to ... (read in full...)
What do I do about all the trouble and insecurity I have in this relationship?
Q. me and my mate of 8 years are always arguing about everything and anything.he has trust issues with me and i have trust issues about him ever since i found porno flicks and a female video of him taping her ass and commenting on how her ass is big ...
A. 16 April 2009: Is he a platonic friend or your boyfriend? What do you mean when you say "when we argue he always puts his hands on me?" Making statements about other women is just an opinion from him so I certainly wouldn't worry about that. I would be more ... (read in full...)
I told my friend how I feel but nothing has changed?
Q. Hey, So my best friend and I are both in our early 30's, and I have fallen for him. It was a gradual thing, he is very affectionate and attentive and after a year of feeling this way I told him I liked him as "more than a friend" a few months ago. ...
A. 16 April 2009: He's getting love and affection from you and all the attention he needs so why be exclusive with you? You need to introduce some boundaries into this friendship. Rule number 1. Friends DON'T kiss and cuddle Rule number 2. Friends DON'T... (read in full...)
How do I learn to love myself?
Q. hello aunts...im 28yrs old and im wondering how do i even begin to work on myself meaning 1)get to know myself and 2)love myself? alot of responses to questions involving bad relationships always get around to saying that one should get to kn...
A. 15 April 2009: I responded to your other post in more detail but I saw this one and thought I'd give you a link on how to "find yourself" which you might find helpful.
http://www.wikihow.com/Find-Yourself
~Eve~ ... (read in full...)
Does anyone know of any methods/strategies I can adopt to learn to love myself more?
Q. Hello again... I posted a question yesterday asking how can I learn to love myself. I didn't really get any of what I was looking for so I'm wondering if someone who has experienced life a little (over 30) can comment or advise on my situation. ...
A. 14 April 2009: You need to believe that you really matter in this life! You are a very special and unique person and the world would be a worse place without you. Ask yourself questions and try to find out who you really are... what you really want/seek from ... (read in full...)
I feel like a sinner and I don't know what to do!
Q. I feel so so dirty! A man on here helped me with one of my problems and we got chatting and he said he'd help me with any other problems. Anyway he started talking sexually and I did too cos I was so unbelievably horny but now I feel so dirty and ...
A. 13 April 2009: I'm sorry this happened to you and I would be happy to help you out. I'm one of the senior moderators. If you want to send me an email with more details then please feel free to do so and I'll check this guy out. You can also email the boss if ... (read in full...)
She has a really pretty face but she's fat!
Q. I kind of like this girl in school. The thing is she's the nicest girl I've met and she's got a stunningly pretty face but she is a bit on the big side. She is pretty but fat. I feel I shouldn't go out with her beausde I'm one of the best foot...
A. 9 April 2009: Use this situation in a positive way! You are well liked and looked up to so stand up for yourself. You sound like a nice person so don't be so shallow and brand this girl that you really like just because of her size!
If they see you out with... (read in full...)
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