A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well first of all, me and this boy had started dating on last thanksgiving, he seemed to be the perfect candidate to date, everything started out well, we talked everyday and shared our feelings for one another, but then about 2 weeks after we started dating, i had text messaging removed from my phone and we couldnt talk as much as we used to, (i think this has a big part of why we didnt work).As time progressed we would talk maybe once or twice a week besides from us seeing each other which was usually about once or twice a week, which wasnt bad, but then the calls stopped altogether, he got busy and things started going downhill, and other girls were tryna talk to him and it seemed he was giving in (though i had no proof). I finally decided one day to stop putting myself through this and we broke up, and he acted as if he didnt want to break up and he wanted things to stay the same, so i told him that we could still talk, but i considered us broken up. Its been 2 months and a half since we broke up, and i feel i made a huge mistake,because i think about him everyday, allday and i feel i need him back in my life, but i kno he would act the same,so i know it wouldnt work..and other boys i talk to, dont seem to be good enough to date after him.ANY advice as to how to get over him?
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female
reader, stina +, writes (22 May 2007):
 Hi Anonymous,
If a big part of why you broke up was because you couldn't text each other anymore, then I think the relationship was headed for disaster before you got rid of that service for your phone.
Please don't feel bad about this break-up - to me it doesn't seem like you made a mistake. Is there a reason why you two couldn't *talk* on the phone? Surely that would be better than texting! So much more can be said and hearing the other person's voice is more telling of how the other person really feels - pitch, tone, etc. Plus I would think it'd be nicer to hear a voice than just read words on a screen.
If you don't end communication with him (which I think would be best, so you can get over him) then I think you need to have a long talk about whether or not you two would really be happier together. Tell him that you'd like to talk more, get together more, and have better communication with one another in general. Be sure to talk about whatever you think would make the next try work - maybe write down your ideas. Make sure that he gets to let you know his feelings, as well.
If you try talking to him and things just don't work out, it's okay. Dating is for finding the person that DOES work out. Breaking up would be a good thing so that you can find someone who matches you better and who you would be HAPPY with (it sounds like you weren't very happy in the last relationship, honestly. It sounds like you were rather disappointed for most of the time.)
Things will work out one way or the other. And I know you're going to hate me for saying this, but you're young and you'll find another guy! When I was 17, I had been dating my ex for four years and we broke up, but I found other boyfriends. Trust me, things aren't over for you if this guy doesn't work out.
Take care.
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