A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Please I need advice! I have been seeing a married man each week at a club but the thing is we havent had sex just kissed and stuff - nothing more. He is always there making sure I get home ok - even helped me when i was drunk. The looks he has on his face I have been told when he's looking at me are unbelievable I've been told...what do i do, get over him or hang around?? Its now been 6 months, im so confused!
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Married man dilemma! I am hooked! What should I do now? I love this married man but I didn't know he was married when I got involved with him... Help! Do you think I'm wasting my time here? I slept with a married man, now I feel awful and don't know what to do? What can I do to stop a married man coming on to me? How do I get over this married man once and for all? |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (23 May 2007):
 Yes, you are wasting your time with a married man.
-FBK
A
female
reader, Jendorset  +, writes (22 May 2007):
Well, hes married. He probly has a nice wife, who has always stood by him, and does not deserve to be hurt. Imagine if you were HER. He is obviously a cheater, so why bother, he would only do the same to you. So to avoid being hurt i would just stay away from him. I wonder how many others girl he is and has been kissing and stuff. Get your own man x
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A
female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (22 May 2007):
 Kissed and stuff? What the heck is the 'stuff' you are referring to? He is spending romantic time with you, kissing and 'stuff' with you. It doesnt matter wheather you have actually had intercourse or not. Unless his wife knows all about you, He is CHEATING on his wife with you. Why oh why would you want someone who lies and cheats?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2007): Trust me there is only one solution - avoid him at all costs. He will never leave his wife and you will always be the lady in waiting. The issue here is your own self esteem - if you valued yourself you would not allow yourself to be used in this way. Giving this guy something to think about during the dull routine of married life. One day that could be your husband - I hope not! What could be nicer than meeting a guy who is truly available? Someone who does not make excuses. If he's lying to his wife - I'm sure he's doing the same to you. Get out of this situation before there is more damage - and learn from this. You can take a positive from it.... you're better than that.
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (22 May 2007):
 You're young. You'll learn that these "relationships" are trouble. I'm not going to curse or be as blunt as I might usually be but what you're doing is mean and selfish. It's not really important what you want out of this because you're not entitled to him in the first place. If you were both single it would be important to satisfy your needs. As far as your needs are concerned and this guy, they are not important.
He is married. He has a wife and perhaps kids. Their needs are more important at this point. You are worthy of respect and self fulfillment too but not at the cost of the other people involved...no matter what you want.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2007): I am always amazed that people get involved with married people. Whats wrong with you? If we would just say no to these cheaters, there would be no one for them to cheat with. Dont touch what doesnt belong to you! Get some self esteem.
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (22 May 2007):
 Hi Anonymous,
Getting involved with married partners always ends up in frustration, confusion and a whole array of hurt/negative feelings. Go ahead and read the other questions on this site that deal with people dating married partners. There's nothing good about it.
Also, do you really want to be with someone who can cheat on his wife and not seem to have any remorse? He is supposed to love that woman and he's out kissing girls in clubs. For all you know, he may even be seeing other girls besides you at a different club, too.
Six months is not a long time to be in a relationship with someone...if you can really call what you have with him a relationship (?). It seems to me that he is just using you for sexual thrills (I know you said you didn't have sex), but he goes home to his wife, right? He is using you. Not only is he disrespecting his wife and his marriage, he is totally disrespecting you, as well. (Of course, you can't blame him for everything - you've also had an equal part in this.)
I suggest you get out now. Maybe even find another club so you don't have to see him anymore. Sorry, I know you probably care about him, but anonymous - this guy is a lowlife.
Take care.
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