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Why won't she let me cum on her face?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 May 2007) 40 Answers - (Newest, 5 February 2011)
A male Canada age 36-40, *appily married writes:

She let's me do it in her mouth everytime I ask, even swallows sometimes. She let's me do it on he rear all the time and once I did on her breasts but she will not let me ejaculate on her face. Isn't it unusual? Why do you think that is?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011):

My wife hates it and sees it as degrading. She let's me do it, but complains about it everytime. She lets me have anal sex with her regularly and in just about any position. She used to blow me regularly, now it's a couple times a year. Used to swallow, now she feels that is also degrading. I feel if she loved me she'd let me cum on her face without complaining. May look somewhere else for my fix.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010):

Ask her if she's tried it. If she has ask why she disliked the experience. If not, ask her to try; you only live once.

The goal is to overcome objections in a mutually respectful way. Ask her a fanasy you've never tried and offer to try if she is willing to get her face messy.

In the end, there are too many free spirited girls out there to waste time with an incompatable one. My wife tried it for the first time on our first date. She didn't like or dislike at first but now she asks me to almost every time, even after anal. She'll even walk down the street with cum on her face.

It all takes time, trust building and incrementally playing into each others fantasies. Good commmunication before, during and after sex is the key and sounds to me what's lacking.

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A male reader, olderthandirt United States +, writes (9 July 2010):

olderthandirt agony auntok then settle on someplace else like breasts or hands. facials will leave with an image you will want to forget.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009):

Like other people have said, consider yourself happy that she lets you cum in her mouth and ass every time. As for why she would't let you cum on her face, why didn't you ask her?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009):

my dude... it depends on the girl...every girl has different reasons not to do it....most common ones i hear is..."i dont want it in my mouth" or "on my clothes"....but if she swallows and takes it on the body then the only thing i can think of is....she dont wanna mess up her face or hair...some girls do the makeup thing hard...or go hard to take good care of their face....she probably thinks shes gonna break out (sounds crazy i know....but u dont know how many girls 18-23 ive dated felt that way)... or dont want the shit in her eye...but in the end it jus comes down to u out right asking...and ask the real reason why...

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A female reader, poetrygoddess United States +, writes (5 December 2009):

I don't know. I understand many women might find it offensive because they feel like you're soiling her face as if her face isn't pretty for you. Something like that. I can empathize. Personally I let my boyfriend do it cuz I know he loves me but I wouldn't let some random dude/asshole do it. With my boyfriend, I like it and it turns me on and I love when he calls me his dirty little girl hehe. And I feel comfortable with him and know I can trust him. Plus, he's not some quickie who's gonna put on his pants faster than I can blink and leave me with his seed on my face. That would be degrading! Like soil her and leave! But with my loved one, I can relax and indulge in dirty behavior and he doesn't respect me any less cuz I wasn't easy to begin with. Plus, he cleans me off lovingly and we cuddle and pillow talk afterwards. I love him dearly!

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A female reader, sarrie United States +, writes (4 November 2009):

It's sad that it's thought of so backward ass.. speaking of backward ass..like the other poster mentioned being taken from behind could be seen as "degrading" but don't knock it til you try it.. people wouldnt do it if it didn't wildly excite them.. and as a female I find cumplay anywhere I can get it extremely arousing and naughty.

Degrading.. that's like saying a playful spank is degrading. And dominance? It has nothing to do with dominance for the men I've been with, some of each would get wildly excited seeing my face hit by other men. How does that sound "dominant"?

It excites me, and it it excites them. to each his own. Hopefully my brother won't see that I'm typing such a thing from his account, I just happened to find this on a random google search. Oh well..

sarrie

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A male reader, praises17 New Zealand +, writes (26 September 2009):

she probably has a problem cleaning it off her face. like it just feels wrong for her to have it on her face you know? she'll probably never give in. but there is nothing wrong with wanting to do it. its sexy as. my wife loves it. im always the one who chickens out. but im starting to unleash on her face more often. just ease up and maybe ask her once every 6 months.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009):

My fiance really wanted to try this, and I had told him before that I would try anything once... and if we enjoyed it, we would do it again. So I agreed, even though the entire idea of him cumming on my face didn't really turn me on (in fact, I was kinda ishy about the whole thing...). Anyway, we both have a policy where we will try each others' fantasies (any limits we have on this, we established from the first time we discussed it).

Well, one night we tried it. And you know what? He REALLY enjoyed it. And you know what? I didn't hate it. It didn't turn me on, but it didn't turn me off, either.

Plus, I *love* when he and I take showers together. It was the PERFECT excuse for us to take a shower together and for him to show me how much he loves me by slowly washing my hair and giving me a scalp massage to get it out of my hair... he took a lot of gentle care to love on me in the shower afterwards, like slowly lathering me and giving me a back massage... the fact that he took the time to make ME feel super pleased in a semi-non-sexual way was awesome, after I helped him with his fantasy. Now we tend to repeat the act often.

Just because I'm not pleased by him cumming on my face, doesn't mean that I'm not pleased by the situation altogether. The point is that I offer the face, which he enjoys but I could care less about, and he offers to wash me after, which I really enjoy, but he doesn't really care about. It's all about give and take, and trying new things.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009):

Because women feel its degrading

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009):

There are two side to this issue:

1. If the girl is a random acquaintance, and you are in it for the fun of it, then there is no problem with it.

2. If the woman cares about you, and says not to do it, and you still do it, she's going to be mad. Why? Because she told you not to, and you did it anyway, showing you don't care what she wants and this is probably why it is seen as degrading.

3. If you are in a relationship and both parties are kosher with the idea, then it is by all means fine.

I am guilty of number 2 as I did not like the girl as a person and that pretty much ended things.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2009):

Ok, here is my 2 cents on the subject.

I guess I should start by saying that 1- I am a guy, 2- My ladyfreind and I do practice this act, and 3 I have no problems recipocating the act.

With that said, I can't for the life of me figure out how so many people came to the conclusion that this is a thing of degradation. It seems to me that this isn't really any different than ejaculation on the bust or back, or anywhere else on your partner.

I think that probably at one point in time "doggy-style" might have seemed degrading too, I mean to bend your partner over and copulate with them in an animal fashion, that seems insulting, no?

Yet here we are; the modern day sexual trailblazers, doing new and forbidden things like "doggy-style" or maybe Anal, or perhaps something far more subtle... shaving our pubic hair. strange? perverse? degrading?

Only if you think it is,

Personally , I refuse to be prudish that way.

I mean that, if my partner wants me to have it (hers or mine) on MY face, well, I am in. Thats just how I am.

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A female reader, jebuslovesloli Canada +, writes (28 March 2009):

I don't really care about this 'degrading' thing, whatever.

I just don't let my boyfriend cum on my face cause I did once and he got it in my hair. I have dreads, so this caused a huge mess and was a complete bitch to get out..

Plus it got in my eye, felt disgusting and felt even worse trying to wipe it off my face.

He can cum anywhere else on me and in me, but my face is just off limits.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009):

I think it's safe to say that most women do not like facial cum shots. I've experienced three different levels of reaction to this from women that I've been with.

Before I get to that I have to say that for me it is a HUGE turn on to shoot my rather large load on a sexy receptive face! After seeing this act portrayed in one of the first porn films I saw, I was hooked! I think it was Peter North who was the "shooter." This guy is known for the quantity and distance of his shot.

The woman that I first hooked up with eventually figured out that I had this specific fantasy. I didn't press it because I didn't want to forfeit the relationship - I cared for her a lot and thought 'long term' about our situation. Still, IT kind of stayed there in my unconscious and conscious mind, "Damn, that would be hot!" Toward the end of this relationship, she was giving me head and was unusually sexual, she said "Do you want to cum on my face?" I was stoked! Until we had to cool it because my roommate just got home. Never got the opportunity with her again.

Reaction 1) After that relationship I dated a gal that was very sexual. I told her of my fantasy and she "let" me cum on her face because she knew I enjoyed it so much. She also like to be held down and spanked. She didn't love to take a facial but liked to please me.

Reaction 2) During my most serious relationship I accidentally hit my partner's face a couple of times after pulling out - I can shoot a long way - the reactions I got were "oh, gross!" and "yuck!" Those responses were definitely a turn off. She was completely grossed out by the whole idea of a facial.

Reaction 3) My most recent relationship was with a very sexually expressive woman who was completely turned on by the very idea of hot cum raining down on her! In fact, it helps HER to get off!! Aside from this she was the sexiest woman I have ever met! She liked it rough, and was very uninhibited to say the least! She loved having cum on her, wherever!

Each of these were CONSENTUAL relationships - in every way!! You can choose to see facials as degrading or demeaning outside of and away from the sexual act itself. That's your belief. But, if you equate everyday-socializing-working-public consciousness/behavior with the intensity and passion that is the sexual experience, that's too bad - for you! As long as there is mutual respect, no physical or psychological harm, who cares if someone outside of the scene doesn't approve!! Personally I can't imagine being into scat; sharing human waste - the idea of disease and sickness puts that in it's own twisted realm.

I wonder if a guy likes female squirt on his face, should we all start discussing his motivation to be demeaned or should we just say "whatever turns you (and your partner) on?"

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A male reader, pursuit of happiness United Kingdom +, writes (22 August 2008):

I'm 30 years old and about as liberal as you can get. But I simply don't understand why you would want to cum on a girl's face. They do it in porn movies because it would be pointless to cum inside her etc... they have to make everything graphical, but...

I can't help thinking it is something to do with degrading a woman or having power over her, even if it is just roleplay. Perhaps its a fetish which has developed by watching porn movies. I just don't get it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008):

The first time I came on my wife's face we were masturbating together and I just said, I'm going to cum on your face" and did it. She smiled but didn't say anything about it. I did it again a few weeks later. Later that day I apologized, thinking maybe she wasn't into it. She said, "Why are you apologizing? I love it! It makes me feel so slutty." She is not a slut at all (except in the bedroom) so this fullfills a fantasy for her. She now asks me sometimes to come on her face. The larger the load the better she likes it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2008):

Although I have not let it happen to me yet, I want to touch on the idea of cumming on your girlfriend being degrading.

More than anything, I really think it depends on the depth of the relationship. In a healthy relationship where both partners love each other and have no urge to harm the other, what makes us (as females) think that all the sudden our men want to degrade us? We have to stop thinking that anything that we are uncomfortable with has intention to harm us. Many men think it is very attractive for their gf/wives/etc to be WILLING to do these things, not because it shows "who is the boss" but because it shows she loves him enough to try something that she may not be into. It shows that because he is interested in it, she will give it a try, for him.

Conversely, in instances such as porn, it can be labeled as degrading, as more often then not parties are being paid to do these acts, likely out of desperation. But even in porn, I wouldn't say its purpose is to degrade, but rather to show dominance. Which are two totally different things. Dominance and submission are forms of play

Thats what sex is, what part of sex isn't rooted in dominance and submission at least in a small way? Giving, receiving, in a way, its all the same.

I urge you all to think about the other side of this idea.

The one that has nothing to do with degradation, and more to do with curiousity, and love.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008):

Be pleased that she lets you cum in her mouth. Cum on your face is degrading...no matter what you see in films. If you really want to push the agenda let her squirt on your face see how that feels.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2007):

as a girl I thought it was weird at first too. Now I just make a game out of it. Like if he wants to get off on my face, he better make a big mess out of me. I he's not allowed to masturbate a few days beforehand and I def take my time with it when its time to get busy. I found that the longer I play with it before getting him off, especially teasing, like stopping when he's getting close, then making him cool down before we start again. I enjoy watching the porn too, so I wear some really slutty make-up for him. Its just a game, the more he cums the better I feel I did my job. Tell your girl to get over it and just have fun with it. Before you know it, she'll be on her knees begging you to cum on her face so hard she can feel it running down her back.

;)

-suz

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007):

with my ex she would do everything sex in every position oral antyhing and eveything. But not cum on her face she would have anal sex or even a 3some but cum on her face would be disguating and degrading that was what my ex thought of it !

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007):

Unreal or not - a wuestion which brings forth debate. Porn, semen, degradation, horiness, etc. Here's a book:

http://www.archive.org/details/PornTheMalePsycheAndOtherKinkyStuff

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007):

Getting cum on the face is degrading. Maybe she dosn't want to feel like a porn star. Respect her, if she dosn't want to, deal with it. If you want someone more freaky in bed then brake up with her.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007):

I think you should talk to her. Explain why you want to do it.

The first time my boy friend asked me I was kinda scared. I didn't know what to say, but wanted to please him so I said yes. He stood above me and I kneeled down while her jerked off all over my face.

It was quite a shock. But the warmness and the texture is really kinda sexy.

My bf is kinda obsessed with it now. Most times we have sex he shoots his load on my face when he's ready. I think I've drunk and play with more cum in the last 3 months than I ever have in my life. Can't get enough of his cum all over me. I just like feeling like a complete mess - like he's made a mess all over me.

So yeah - maybe if you ask her she'll say yes. Maybe she'll understand better if you talk about it. Maybe she'll like it as much as I did/

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007):

depends on what 'grabs' you. I kind of just fall into oral with my girlfriend and sometimes she swallows and othertimes she likes tht cum as she says it makes it like a porn movie. horniness is what determines the semen path

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A male reader, hurnapup United States +, writes (19 September 2007):

ALL I CAN SAY IS , WHEN YOU'VE GOT SOMEONE OF PASSION ENOUGH TO GET YOU TO CUM ,LET ALONE IN HER FACE, BE THANKFUL YOU'VE GOT SOMEONE MY WIFE OF 20YRS HAS LET ME DO THIS, BUT I TRUELY THINK IT'S BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT ''YOU'' TO SEE HER LIKE THAT. YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIT, 'PRETTY' GROSS. TRY IT IN THE SHOWER SO SHE CAN GET OFF QWUIKLY

No all caps please

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007):

I can understand a girl not wanting to allow this, especially with somebody they are not comfortable with. My girlfriend and I do it sometimes. I always ask first. If she says no that's fine. Sometimes she isn't in the mood and on occassion she asks for it because she likes to dirty feeling. It's not about degrading her. Her asking me is the hottest thing ever.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007):

I'm a married woman and love having my husband cum on my face....and anywhere else for that matter. We've been having great sex for 8 years and it just keeps getting better. I don't find it disgusting or degrading to have his cum on my face, and it's never stung my eyes. Just one womans answer here.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007):

have you asked her why yet?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2007):

I'm not even sure why I'm bothering to respond to this. I guess because as a 37 year old male, I think I have the experience and security in having explored my own and other's sexuality. I'd like to share my thoughts for those of you that truly struggle with this issue.

I think it's important not to make light of it. Women need to understand that the male sexual psyche is often very centered around a graphic stimulation. We are also devided into many other areas, including the emotional. But the "idea" of being able to cum on a woman's face is an intense stimulation to the graphic part of what turns us on. Now, your kink may be fueled by degrading your partner. That isn't necessarily a bad thing if it's done in play and there is adequate communication and love and everything else where both partners are "into" that. But it doesn't have to be degrading. In fact, I tend to identify that particular "kink" with quite the opposite. For me at least, the woman I am with is so sexually appealing, beautiful, erotic ... that to see her with such blatent sexual "evidence" on her body or on her face, or anywhere is incredibly sexy and stimulating to me. She is the epidomy of what is sexual and erotic in my male psyche. This is why I am with her and why I feel so attracted to her sexually. I'm not attempting to degrade someone I feel so incredibly close to. I'm exploring a sexual "kink" that can be extremely erotic to both partners. It's got nothing to do with porn .. BUT .. let porn be a very LARGE clue to insight on the male sexual psyche. Why DO so many porn stars end a scene with cum on their face? Is it that the majority of males out there want to degrade women? I would argue no. That's rediculous. Sure, some do ... some even do on a playful level ... I don't criticize for what is enjoyable between two people. The important thing in that is consentuality and comfortability with your partner.

I might be a bit blunt in my opinion. But I'm no stranger to sex, to many partners over the years ... and I tend to find those women that do not like cum on their face tend to feel this way for a couple reasons: 1) they're not truly comfortable with sex, meaning they have some hangups. (that's not a bad thing .. just means they have their own reasons for finding it gross, degrading or whatever). Or 2) They're not truly comfortable or communicative with their partner.

I think when you have great communication, a close comfortable relationship with each other, and an open mind and desire to explore your sexuality as well as your partners .. you have a great recipe for exploring sexual fantasies and kinks together. It doesn't mean it will always lead both to enjoy the same things ... but it tends to allow that kind of thing more often.

The answer is not to guilt, yell, be angry or hurt, nag, force or anything like that. The answer is communication, patience and two people that truly WANT to explore each other's sexuality. Not just their own.

I think when you love someone and you are sexually attracted to them and feel extremely turned on to them ... there's nothing gross about their body, their smell, their taste, etc. Sex can be a wonderful way to explore each other and yourself. And if you do find some part of them "gross" .. you really should explore why. Maybe it's not your preference ... but gross? Sex is so much about giving to each other. It's hard for me to understand being with someone where you don't have that. And if you find yourself in that position, you're missing out on an incredible level of closeness with your partner. Talk to each other.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2007):

its what you see in porn she loves you stop pushing and she will let you trust me

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2007):

"degrading" ? I never quite understood that either. Can anyone please explain to me why it is degrading, rather than stating that it is? Vice versa, it's not degrading for a man to go down on his woman, cover half of his face with her secretions and stick his tongue into an orifice of her body? Personally, I think the equivalent would be for the man to withdraw his attention from her clitoris right before she comes and use his fingertips instead to bring her over the edge (because female orgasmic secretions on his tongue are "degrading").

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2007):

you should not complain,i been married for 17 years, and i am lucky to get my wife to go south, and if she does it is very short and never complete, i tell her that it is half head, also told her that after going south on her for 17 year and swallowing who knows what (does anyone know what comes out of a twot pee,dome sort of discharch, who knows) but i love it, she just does not know how to satisfy her husband i guess. when dude your lucky.

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A female reader, luckygirl84 United States +, writes (23 May 2007):

luckygirl84 agony auntIt does not feel right to have cum on your face. My ex boyfriend did cum on my hair gross. That is one of the reasons he is now the ex lol.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2007):

please, you both need to grow up! You need to be more savvy having sex and explorative. Try to talk and be open while respecting each other. My wife did not like it at the beginning but now is a normal act between us. Just respect each other and give it time. Never push anyone to do something she/he does not like. Sex is always great when you finish up and hold each other at the end.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States + , writes (21 May 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntOkay, clearly you've never gotten semen in your eye.

If you really want to know why she doesn't want it in the face, it's because taking it in the face is kinda gross, stings the eyes, messy as hell, and not to mention, it can feel pretty degrading to some.

Yeah, they all take it in porn like champs. Well, maybe if you offer your girlfriend a buttload of cash, she'll smile and take it too.

If she doesn't want it in the face, be a gentleman and don't give it to her in the face. You should respect her that much.

xxIndia

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (21 May 2007):

kenny agony auntI guess everyone is different, some girls like it, some don't. She obviously dosen't. Have respect that she dosen't like it. She lets you cum everywhere else, be happy with this.

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A female reader, stina United States +, writes (21 May 2007):

stina agony auntPonun!! lol

(And I can't believe I'm even looking at this question page while I'm at the office! Well, at least it makes the day more interesting, I suppose. haha)

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A male reader, Ponungalungb United States +, writes (21 May 2007):

Ponungalungb agony auntStina - I think they like to "stimulate" some responses when things get a little slow around here. LOL.

Questions like "How come my girlfried screams when I put a hot branding iron on her ass?" always get a lot of responses. LOL.

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A male reader, Yos Netherlands +, writes (21 May 2007):

Yos agony auntUnusual? No, its very usual. Many (most?) people find coming in someones face degrading, not least because it stings if it gets in someones eye. Yes it happens in porn (mainly because its degrading), and those women are paid a lot for the 'pleasure'.

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A female reader, stina United States +, writes (21 May 2007):

stina agony auntWhy do questions like this keep being approved? This is obviously not real. "Isn't this unusual?" Give me a break.

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