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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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Husband walks out while we are on vacation. Should I put the effort in to stay with him?
Q. Hi, I am a 32 y/o woman who has been in a relationship for the past 6 years and I am totally confused as to whether I should leave my fiance or or not. I really need some help with this. My fiance can be quite controlling and aggresive toward...
A. 19 March 2010: A lot of women like to excuse men's poor behavior and rescue them from themselves, but the fact is, You are looking for a partner! Someone to raise children with!
Stranding you in a foreign country while he goes off and has a "Mantrum" isn't bein... (read in full...)
Husband walks out while we are on vacation. Should I put the effort in to stay with him?
Q. Hi, I am a 32 y/o woman who has been in a relationship for the past 6 years and I am totally confused as to whether I should leave my fiance or or not. I really need some help with this. My fiance can be quite controlling and aggresive toward...
A. 19 March 2010: You are on an emotional rollercoaster - use your brain as the brakes. ... (read in full...)
Husband walks out while we are on vacation. Should I put the effort in to stay with him?
Q. Hi, I am a 32 y/o woman who has been in a relationship for the past 6 years and I am totally confused as to whether I should leave my fiance or or not. I really need some help with this. My fiance can be quite controlling and aggresive toward...
A. 19 March 2010: The things that will attract you to a man will drive you crazy when you marry. The strong and silent type will drive you crazy because you won't be able to communicate, for example...
But Your Man?
A whole different type of crazy.
He took y... (read in full...)
I broke up with my boyfriend now he is saying he will spread rumors about me.
Q. So I just broke up with my boyfriend that I have been dating since Feb. 5th because he just wasnt the one for me. Plus I swear he was bipolar or something because one minute he would be yelling at me over nothing and the other second he wants sex or ...
A. 11 March 2010: If anyone asks, tell them that he has a tiny penis and had no idea how to give you an orgasm.
Then, let him fry in the fire of his own making..............................
He will rue the day that he crossed swords with you.... (read in full...)
My ex is threatening me with "truth" tablets, do they exist?
Q. Ok everyone Im still in contact with my ex. The thing is my brother done something not horrible to him and my ex thinks im involved in some sor of way The other day he said something o me over the phone about hes ordered somehing on lin...
A. 28 February 2010: I actually had a Scopolamine patch after major surgery last year. Besides being "truth serum", it also is a drug that prevents you from feeling sick to your stomach. At that time, they were pumping me full of other drugs that could have made me ... (read in full...)
My ex is threatening me with "truth" tablets, do they exist?
Q. Ok everyone Im still in contact with my ex. The thing is my brother done something not horrible to him and my ex thinks im involved in some sor of way The other day he said something o me over the phone about hes ordered somehing on lin...
A. 27 February 2010: It's called Sodium Pentathol. These days, it's more likely in a patch form called Scopolamine and unless he's a Doctor or works in some professional capacity, he can't get it. It's not a street drug.
Your ex is being a dick. Why on earth are ... (read in full...)
I can't decide which career path to take
Q. Hi there. I can't decide whether to train an a midwife or a secondary school teacher, and this indecision is making my current relationship unbearable! My partner has supported me financially for the last 2 years (as I will for him if he chooses to ...
A. 27 February 2010: Decision making is a skill of it's own. What is paralyzing you is the fear of making the wrong one, but who says that you have to leave one behind? Finish your 1st degree and WORK in that field while you finish the second degree over time. The ... (read in full...)
How do I achieve bigger boobs without surgery?
Q. I'm really want to attract someone I like but I have small boobs and although I know there's nothing wrong with that and so forth, I do want to feel confident and attractive. I would like to boost them a little, make them appear fuller and bigger. ...
A. 24 February 2010: LOL! Miamine - don't you know it! Obviously, my daughter inherited my family's proneness to being ample so I have the same problem. Plus, I've been trying to keep these things upright for the last 42 years (since they appeared at 13...). Jogging ... (read in full...)
How do I achieve bigger boobs without surgery?
Q. I'm really want to attract someone I like but I have small boobs and although I know there's nothing wrong with that and so forth, I do want to feel confident and attractive. I would like to boost them a little, make them appear fuller and bigger. ...
A. 24 February 2010: I know a young woman who has grapefruit sized breasts. She hasn't, as yet, gotten over having these new found toys and wears deep decolletage and spaghetti strapped tops. Guess what all the girls in the school who aren't her friends call her? ... (read in full...)
Does it matter if a guy is shorter than a girl?
Q. Just a quick question for the ladies especially. Would you be put off a guy if he was smaller than you, height-wise? There is a girl in my class at school, who i get on with really well, talk a lot, and sometimes have a bit of a flirt, but inam ...
A. 20 February 2010: I'm 5'7'' and my husband is 5'8". If I wear heels I'm much taller than he is. We've been together for 36 years. My father was shorter than me too. I guess that might be why I never saw a man's height first - I always noticed his other attractive ... (read in full...)
I don't wanna be his little bitch that he can have fun with and then ditch me when he's done.
Q. Ok so here's the deal; I really like this guy. He's got a nice charm to him and he's extremely attractive. We have gone out twice but they both ended after 2 weeks. The first time he cheated on me and the second time he lied to me saying he loved me ...
A. 17 February 2010: Brilliant answer.... (read in full...)
Could I have an STD?
Q. This might sound a bit stupid...but I'll ask anyway! I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He was a virgin also, and we used a condom. Neither of us had been sexual with anyone else before each other, and haven't been while we've been together. A...
A. 17 February 2010: Well, technically, yes, but I hope not.
If he lied, then, yes, you could still have an STI. For instance, herpes doesn't respect the condom. So, technically, you could have been exposed to herpes.
But we aren't you and we don't know whether ... (read in full...)
Why can't I compliment my wife?
Q. MOD NOTE: 2 posts combined together. Why can't I tell my wife that she looks hot? My wife of 20 years hates it when I tell her that she looks hot!! I don't understand the difference between a come-on and a compliment. How come she thinks that I'm ...
A. 11 January 2010: If you "grab" her while telling her that she is "hot" - that definitely feels like you are turned on and looking for sex, sorry to point that out, but that's just how it feels to me too.
A compliment that expresses how you feel about your beau... (read in full...)
Would he 'really' throw me out the window or was he joking?
Q. Hello all and Happy new year! Here's my question. What does it mean when you ask a man that you are involved with what he wants to do/be with you and he answers, "If I told you I would scare you" and smiles...nicely. We were cuddled up on the couch ...
A. 9 January 2010: Weird? I think that if you DON'T have a compatible sense of humour (if that's what this was), then the relationship really can't become too sympatico ~ Understanding each others sense of humour is THE Key in a great relationship. And if it WASN... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing by stopping my daughter from masturbating?
Q. My eleven year old girl has been masturbating lately. Last year for her birthday i bought her this toy dog that when you pull the tail it vibrates. Four days ago i peeked into her room and saw her repeatedly pulling the tail and she had it on her ...
A. 3 January 2010: Children start exploring their bodies in the womb. 11 isn't too young at all, in fact, most kids really start finding out about sexual pleasure went they are pubescent and starting to experience hormone surges along with their growth spurts. I ... (read in full...)
We don't know if it is right to date each other due to the age difference
Q. Ok so me and this guy been there for each other but the thing is he is 19 and im just turning 15 and we really dont know if its right to date. We liked each other for a really long time, and he has met my parents and everything and he even said to ...
A. 3 January 2010: If you say that you 'lost' your virginity, and the guy is no longer in the picture, that's about the best description of WHY you shouldn't hang out with older guys. They are more experienced, have more expectations, and you are more likely to ... (read in full...)
I took sperm off his condom and inserted it into my vagina. Could I be pregnant?
Q. i'm 18 and i want to get pregnant so bad, my boyfriend came in me but it wasnt my ovalating date, a week after he knew it was my ovalating day an he didnt come in me, but a drop of sprem hit my vagina, after that he put on a condom when he was done ...
A. 31 December 2009: I pretty much ascribe that anyone who gets pregnant purposefully when they know that their partner does not want a baby is about the same as lying about being raped by an innocent guy in order to get revenge or like lying in court that their child's ... (read in full...)
He broke up with me 3 days before Christmas, Help!
Q. Yesterday my boyfriend came home from a ski trip. When he came back he told me we should break up. He said that the reason was that he felt like more of just a friend then a boyfriend and that it was better for him. I told him we can try and fix it. ...
A. 22 December 2009: I have to agree with PeanutButter.
I think that guys think that if they aren't certain about a relationship, they like to break it off before Christmas, partly because of cheapness and partly because they don't want to be lying to someone abou... (read in full...)
Vaginal muscles hurt during orgasm
Q. I am a female and everytime I cum my muscles in my vagina tighen up and it hurts when he sticks his penis inside of me.it feels like my vagina is pushing him out. but he does not feel that my vagina is tightening up while he's is inside me.. do ...
A. 21 December 2009: It could be a condition called vaginismus. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus
You should see your OB/GYN. They will prescribe a mild muscle relaxant and that should help your dilemma.
... (read in full...)
I have a question for the guys???
Q. Ok im trying to keep my virginity so is there anything that i could do sexually that guys like to do without having intercoarse?...
A. 19 December 2009: ?
You can go a week without sex, but you can't go a day without rationalizing...
Traditionally, the women are the keepers of tradition and the makers of families and have always been the ones who decide Yes or NO about sex, because the act lasts ni... (read in full...)
I have a question for the guys???
Q. Ok im trying to keep my virginity so is there anything that i could do sexually that guys like to do without having intercoarse?...
A. 19 December 2009: Merry Christmas q!... (read in full...)
I have a question for the guys???
Q. Ok im trying to keep my virginity so is there anything that i could do sexually that guys like to do without having intercoarse?...
A. 18 December 2009: You can go a week without sex, but you can't go a day without rationalizing...
Traditionally, the women are the keepers of tradition and the makers of families and have always been the ones who decide Yes or NO about sex, because the act lasts nine... (read in full...)
I have a question for the guys???
Q. Ok im trying to keep my virginity so is there anything that i could do sexually that guys like to do without having intercoarse?...
A. 18 December 2009: I think a lot of them men who have written in are the same guys who would come writing to us claiming a giant foul (I feel so cheated! I can never trust her again! How can I stop thinking about those other guys?) - if THEY were to find out that ... (read in full...)
I have a question for the guys???
Q. Ok im trying to keep my virginity so is there anything that i could do sexually that guys like to do without having intercoarse?...
A. 17 December 2009: What exactly is the point of keeping your virginity if you are going to have oral herpes or anal warts?
I don't mean to be prudish, but if you are going to sexually fool around anyways, because anal sex and oral sex and anything that results in m... (read in full...)
Why is my ex-girlfriend blocking me on msn and Facebook?
Q. i need to know why my ex is not talking to me for some reason. because last month we had an argument but then i aplogised and she forgave me and said she would give me one more chance. once we had our argument she deleted me from msn but didnt block ...
A. 17 November 2009: 5 times? FIVE times? Seriously? Are you rereading your own letter? Do you get that you are crowding the girl and that you are ACTUALLY broken up?
Stalking her isn't going to improve her opinion of you. Seriously. You need to chill out and ... (read in full...)
Why did he ask me to go to the gym with him? Does he think I'm fat???
Q. This question may sound a bit silly but i just want to know what my boyfriend meant by this. We were talking one night and he said hes going to start going to the gym and he asked "maybe you can come to keep me company" I felt a bit offended...
A. 17 November 2009: The healthiest way to maintain your weight is exercise.
One reason is that a healthy EXERCISED body has more muscle than fat, and the more muscle you HAVE and USE, the higher the rate of your metabolism will be. Weight gain is simply our inpu... (read in full...)
We couldn't have "proper" sex!
Q. Me and my boyfriend really love each other.. we have done oral sex.. but when we wanted to pass have intercourse it didn't go well because his penis didn't go inside my vagina! i mean only a bit and that was very painful.. though my hymen is ...
A. 15 November 2009: This is a pretty common.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus
You need the help of a doctor. He will most likely prescribe muscle relaxants. ... (read in full...)
Is it weird to make a silicone doll of my girlfriend?
Q. Hi Agony Aunts! I have an interesting question that I want to ask. Well I love my girlfriend so much that I would want to do something grand. I am planning on making a life-size doll version of my girlfriend in silicone like the ones I have seen ...
A. 14 November 2009: Like the Rubberrazti?... (read in full...)
Is it weird to make a silicone doll of my girlfriend?
Q. Hi Agony Aunts! I have an interesting question that I want to ask. Well I love my girlfriend so much that I would want to do something grand. I am planning on making a life-size doll version of my girlfriend in silicone like the ones I have seen ...
A. 14 November 2009: I second that thought that Tish had. I wouldn't ask a partner to agree to any proclivity before I had actually sprung it on her...... (read in full...)
Is it weird to make a silicone doll of my girlfriend?
Q. Hi Agony Aunts! I have an interesting question that I want to ask. Well I love my girlfriend so much that I would want to do something grand. I am planning on making a life-size doll version of my girlfriend in silicone like the ones I have seen ...
A. 14 November 2009: Hahahaha q, you are too much!!!... (read in full...)
B/f doesn't trust me and thinks I will cheat on him
Q. please help i'm 16 and have been going with my boyfriend for 1year and 9months, but when i'd only been with him for a month i left him for my ex. i really regret this and would never be unfaithful to him, however, my boyfriend has trouble beleieving ...
A. 14 November 2009: This a control issue.
He wants to know if he says "JUMP" if you will reply "How High, Darling?".
I would respond to his next request by telling him to do something that is physically not possible.... (read in full...)
Is it weird to make a silicone doll of my girlfriend?
Q. Hi Agony Aunts! I have an interesting question that I want to ask. Well I love my girlfriend so much that I would want to do something grand. I am planning on making a life-size doll version of my girlfriend in silicone like the ones I have seen ...
A. 14 November 2009: Sounds kind of hotly weird, and yet somehow, flattering!
I'd have to say, in this situation, this could really backfire on you, even if you have the purest of intentions.
I would have to take a pass if I were you - I wouldn't guarantee any posi... (read in full...)
Are these reacurring sex dreams a sign that I am a pervert?
Q. I have been having reacurring sex dreams of me and my 15 yr old niece. When they happen i wake up in a cold sweat. Once i even ejactulated while i was dreaming. I would never do anything with my niece and now if i see her or talk to her i feel ...
A. 14 November 2009: Find a competent therapist.... (read in full...)
Fear of money, yet I work in retail!
Q. I work in retail and have never worked at a register. I am supposed to be trained for the register soon I have a real problem with handling money I always have. I really want to over come this problem. What should I do? I dont have a problem ...
A. 13 November 2009: I would consult a good therapist who specializes in phobias. He/she may help you make some headway into your fears. Good Luck!... (read in full...)
I am tired of this woman texting my husband with her problems!
Q. my husband continues to be friends with a woman that i don't approve of. i told him several times that she wants more than that,but he says i'm just jealous. everytime she has drama in her life she text him at least 15 to 20 times and believe me is ...
A. 4 November 2009: The whole "I have a problem" thing is a to appeal to your guys's protective, manly side.
Is is a ploy.
A ruse.
It is the classic other woman's way of getting into your guy's emotional psyche.
You seriously need to lower the boom.
This woma... (read in full...)
Is Polycystic Ovarian Synrome hereditary?
Q. my sister has just found out that she has Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and she is trying for a baby. The doctor said it may be harder for her to conceive because of this. Does anyone know if it is hereditary?? Its just that a few years ago when i was ...
A. 3 November 2009: Which means you also have a 50% chance of not getting it as well! Ask your doctor about the possibility of getting screening, even if you aren't planning on having kids soon, especially if you are losing sleep over this. At least, if you do find ... (read in full...)
He's gay, but I really really like him.
Q. I am falling in love with my relationships councilor and don't know how to stop feeling like this. I ended my marriage 1 yr ago cause my husband was having sex with men.We were married for 18 years so I am not some ditzy young thing with a silly ...
A. 1 November 2009: Falling for your therapist while you are in therapy is called transference. You feel that his understanding you, his 'getting' all you problems is an ["unconscious redirection of feelings for one person to another. One definition of transference is ... (read in full...)
I'm having a hard time because of the long distance, how can I get him to be more expressive with me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been with each other for sometime.We are now in a long distance relationship because of employment. We still manage to see each other 3 weekends a month. We still get along great and have great sex when together. We are both ...
A. 22 October 2009: When a guy who "used to be a player" does finally call someone their girlfriend and responds to every e-mail that you send by saying "well, you should move out here if you are lonely" - then I think that you HAVE a commitment from a guy who ... (read in full...)
Does anyone know why I'm still huring?
Q. ok so i had my appendix out a month ago...the surgeon says my inside will be healed... on the removal of my appendix they said it was abnormal but on further test it showed to be normal i am still in severe pain anyone have any ideas as to what it ...
A. 20 October 2009: A.S.A.P.
As soon as possible.... (read in full...)
Does anyone know why I'm still huring?
Q. ok so i had my appendix out a month ago...the surgeon says my inside will be healed... on the removal of my appendix they said it was abnormal but on further test it showed to be normal i am still in severe pain anyone have any ideas as to what it ...
A. 20 October 2009: A doctor's diagnosis is like a triangle. Like the one that they teach in science class about fire. In order to produce fire, you need three things - heat, oxygen and fuel. A doctor needs three things - his skills, a physical exam, and what you ... (read in full...)
Can my abusive ex be any different second time around?
Q. My abusive ex bf wants me back. But I dont understand why. The reason he dumped me in the first place was because I wouldn't let him control and abuse me, I would stand up for myself. So why would he want me back if I stood up for myself? Does h...
A. 20 October 2009: He lost control over you so he wants that back. Does that make sense?
Check out this checklist and see if anything ELSE rings a bell...
http://www.familyshelterservice.org/assess.html... (read in full...)
Can my abusive ex be any different second time around?
Q. My abusive ex bf wants me back. But I dont understand why. The reason he dumped me in the first place was because I wouldn't let him control and abuse me, I would stand up for myself. So why would he want me back if I stood up for myself? Does h...
A. 19 October 2009: I think he just wants "Round Two". You already know what to expect from him, and with all the men there are in the world, why put yourself back in such a precarious position? This reminds me of the old saying, "Fool me once, shame on you, Fool me ... (read in full...)
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