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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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How to get closure from a sociopath ex?
Q. I have been driven to the point of almost insanity because my ex could not be honest. I later found out he was extremely sociopathic, was a pathological liar, and that every time I had an instinct that he was not telling me the truth about ...
A. 8 November 2010: As academically High Honor Student, you might not be used to 'failure' and may be viewing this ending as something which you failed - this just isn't the case for you here! "I'm a smart girl, how could I be so stupid?" is probably the question that ... (read in full...)
I'm sick and bored of every day. I've never been in love and I'm turning 22.
Q. I'm sick and bored of every day. I've never been in love and I'm turning 22. I'm sick of going to lectures, studying, and then coming home. Every day, nothing happens. I don't meet new people because I'm too big of a loser to go out socializing. ...
A. 8 November 2010: Sounds like you are throwing a big ol' PityParty for yourself - don't worry - we all do it from time-to-time.
You must think that life is easy for everyone else! Here's the secret... are you ready... NOPE! IT"S NOT EASY FOR ANYONE!!!!!! Most... (read in full...)
How to get closure from a sociopath ex?
Q. I have been driven to the point of almost insanity because my ex could not be honest. I later found out he was extremely sociopathic, was a pathological liar, and that every time I had an instinct that he was not telling me the truth about ...
A. 7 November 2010: Well, You answered a lot of your own questions within your letter, and now it's up to you to stick by your own insights and not take him back again or ever believe him again. There's no point of asking him for honestly or an explanation when you ... (read in full...)
My ex has a fake profile pretending to be someone else and he has befriended me
Q. My lover dumped me 3 weeks ago,he said he needed some space and time to think things out etc.I have left him alone but i am heartbroken, anyway he has gone on a website that i go on and he goes in a profile pretending he is someone else...he ...
A. 6 November 2010: This guy dumped you. Now he is being sneaky and cruel by spying on YOU, his ex, and you are wondering if he wants you back? WOW! What are you thinking? Why would you want HIM back? To get hurt AGAIN?
Sorry - But if I had this tool for reve... (read in full...)
We just can't have sex!
Q. ive been having trouble with sex with my boyfriend its been like a month because I'm to tight and he literally cant get inside me it was going GREAT for the first 2 weeks and then a month ago things just don't seem to be working and its not as t...
A. 6 November 2010: This should help.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus
A friend had this problem and her Doctor gave her muscle relaxants. Good Luck!... (read in full...)
Devastated after my mother's death. Help me..
Q. My muother has just passed away and i feel i cant cope any more i just dont know what to do my life has been ripped apart i was so so close to her i dont know what to do any advise please!...
A. 30 October 2010: There are also grief support groups around, and don't forget your Minister and your church congregation, no matter which faith you believe in...
There are lots of reassuring articles about coping with a loss on the net as well. Even though deat... (read in full...)
I can't give in to my husband's sexual demands and now he's sulking
Q. I'm 46 been married 28 years. my husband demmands me to do things sexually that i'm not comfortable with. I've always gave in in the past but his recent demmand i just cant do. I've tried it but i dont like it. we have been fighting about it for 3 ...
A. 29 October 2010: This check list might help you figure out in your mind whether or not he is being abusive towards you.
http://www.familyshelterservice.org/what-is-abuse/assess-your-situation/... (read in full...)
I want my married lover to take off his wedding ring when he's out with me
Q. ok yall i have been dating this man for a least a years and some months! however our relationship is getting deeper and deeper everyday! when the two some us started dating we both agree to no feeling no attachment ! now that time change words have ...
A. 28 October 2010: I'm still thinking at least English classes are appropriate....... (read in full...)
What does it feel like to have someone you consider a life partner?
Q. What does it feel like to be with someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with and to have them want to be with you too?...
A. 28 October 2010: "We are all a little weird and life's a little weird; and when we find someone who's weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and we call it love."
- Dr. Seuss... (read in full...)
I want my married lover to take off his wedding ring when he's out with me
Q. ok yall i have been dating this man for a least a years and some months! however our relationship is getting deeper and deeper everyday! when the two some us started dating we both agree to no feeling no attachment ! now that time change words have ...
A. 28 October 2010: Perhaps you could take an English class and fuck the married professor instead?... (read in full...)
I am unsure of whether or not this woman from one of my college classes is interested.
Q. I was in a relationship with a woman for 5 years. After a tumultuous breakup, involving her cheating, time has passed and we are friends and I feel great about life and everything. My problem is this: I have been out of the dating game for so long ...
A. 27 October 2010: Wow. She has a lot of baggage attached, literally; two kids + sleeps with her exes to 'get laid'. I'm pretty sure she's interested, but I'm not sure that this woman is going to be the cure for a broken heart - she sounds like a bit of an accident ... (read in full...)
Should I go for him or leave him alone?
Q. Ok. So I have a crush on this guy, it may not be that. I want to tell him I think he looks good :D why? I don't know. But if he were to ask me out I would go. But the problem is my cousin said he flirts with her and her coworkers @ work. She said ...
A. 27 October 2010: u like what u like. Yes. It has consequences. Try thinking with both your head and your heart.
Most girls will make a lot of excuses for the guys that they like behavior - just because they like him. They hard news is that you aren't goin... (read in full...)
Should I go for him or leave him alone?
Q. Ok. So I have a crush on this guy, it may not be that. I want to tell him I think he looks good :D why? I don't know. But if he were to ask me out I would go. But the problem is my cousin said he flirts with her and her coworkers @ work. She said ...
A. 26 October 2010: You want to date a "player"? Why? This is definitely a case of "Be careful what you wish for, because you may get it", because dating a player is a sure path to heartache. You already know what he is, but what, you're going to "reform" him and be ... (read in full...)
My daughter told me she is bisexual and I don't know how to handle this?
Q. My 17 year old daughter has been trying to tell me she is bisexual for the last six months.I have responded with kids today are bicurious and that is what she is doing. Each time she mentioned it I would cut off the conversation, and say I can't ...
A. 25 October 2010: You are going through another transition here, not just the ones that your daughter is throwing at you or because of the curves that she is throwing.
You are now at that stage in your life where you are starting to realize that you no longer have... (read in full...)
I don't want my sadness to be selfish!
Q. I met my wife when i was 30, she was 39. We have spent the past 15 years in what our closest friends call the perfect love. I am, however, feeling very depressed about the timing of our love. We did not get to have children together because she had ...
A. 24 October 2010: It would be lovely if we could live our lives without any regrets.
Part of that is recognizing the fact that we have very little control over what has passed and is in our past and accepting that we can't change it.
Life is a journey, and it's... (read in full...)
We had sex, all was good, then he dumped me via text!
Q. Alright so here's the deal. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a month. Everything was going Super Great! Then one day, The morning was really good.. we woke up together.. we were cuddling.. he told me he loved me and didn't want to lose ...
A. 24 October 2010: This is what happens when you sleep with someone too soon!!!!
Wait at least two months to weed out the losers. The right guy will stick around, and you will have had the time to figure out if he is addicted to porn before you sleep with him! He w... (read in full...)
How often should I swallow cum?
Q. Me and my boyfriend like to do sex everynight.I really enjoy to give him a blowjob.He tells me to swallow his semen.I don't like swallowing.Is it harmful for body?Is it helpful?How many times in a week should i swallow cum?...
A. 23 October 2010: I thought you could grow a baby in your stomach that way...
;^D... (read in full...)
Guys Only Please* nude pics of gf
Q. GUYS ONLY PLEASE I mean this, because girls view the world in a totally different way, and they all THINK they know what guys are thinking and the reasons behindd their actions, but are usually wrong. A girl asking for insight into a guy's min...
A. 21 October 2010: I suppose the point isn't WHY he showed the pictures then, it's that he lied to you.
No fetish can explain away a betrayal. Plain and simple. You are looking for something to explain why he HAD to do this, that sharing a photo is a common male... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend like his ex's butt better?
Q. Ok i am totally aware as to how ridiculous this is but omg help!! So im in a long distance relationship, been with him now for 2 years (both our longest relationships so far)and we see each other not often but atleast take 3 holidays per yea...
A. 21 October 2010: Young men are silly and immature. They usually will tell you the "truth"; which means they haven't learned to tell little white lies yet. It's not until they have been married for a few years that they learn NOT to answer questions truthfully, ... (read in full...)
I've really offended my friend help what can I do ?
Q. advice please. i think ive really offended my friend. we went for lunch yesterday and she was going on about some baby toy for her 5 month old for a while and i went into the shop to look for it to buy for her and was quite tired yesterda...
A. 21 October 2010: You shouldn't give in when you haven't done anything wrong. If you are friends, then she needs to be told that she is being oversensitive, that she is naturally hormonal at this time and that you DID offer to buy her baby a gift none-the-less.
I... (read in full...)
Dating a cop who behaves very strangely, should I flee??
Q. I am dating a cop... started out great, he told me he was crazy about me - dated a few months, we were very much into each other and things turned REALLY weird. On one date, he actually was a complete jerk -I purchased expensive tix to a football ...
A. 19 October 2010: As far as the fitting you into his schedule goes; it's possible he doesn't have time for you because he isn't single? Just a thought...
As far a being a jerk - This behavior is not "borderline abusive" - it's abusive.
http:... (read in full...)
So torn between two wonderful men
Q. So I have noticed that this is a common issue with women: I am torn between two men. For your sake, I will give you a brief intro to both men and then explain the situation. Man #1: We were officially together for a year and 2 months. We had a...
A. 19 October 2010: I'm not sure WTF you think "being in love with" is, from what you have described.
You have everything in common with your best friend, whom you are also having GREAT sex with, but your in love with someone else? You are sure confused.
Havin... (read in full...)
Do you think a man can be happy with his wife and still cheat on her?
Q. This is a very quick question: do you believe a man who is cheating on his wife but who tells upfront the woman is cheating with that he is in a relationship and "he can't leave her" and, when asked if he is happy, will reply "I think so" ? Is this ...
A. 19 October 2010: I think he has probably told you the truth. Guys are simple and straightforward; especially after they have already gotten what they wanted.... (read in full...)
Why would my boyfriend want to keep this friend around?
Q. While my bf and I were broken up, his friend (who started out as our mutual friend, whom we met through)sent me nasty texts on behalf of my bf. All 3 of us attended the same college, we both knew S (mutual friend,) but not each other until we met ...
A. 15 October 2010: In life, you have to pick your battles. In relationships, you have to let some things slide if they aren't important to you. Guys are funny about their relationships with other guys, I've always been amazed at some of the guys that sensible men ... (read in full...)
Raised my stepdaughter as my real child up until I caught her having sex
Q. I am 44 and have been happily married for 10 years. I have no children of my own, but my wife has a daughter from a previous marriage. I love her to death and raised her as my own since she was 6 years old. She is now 16, turning 17 in 2 months ...
A. 13 October 2010: thinking, not thing.
Biologically, in the wild, a lion kills the mates cubs from previous lions, so they never deal with the tricky issues of raising another lions cub. We like to think that we are more evolved, but it is often thankless and frau... (read in full...)
Raised my stepdaughter as my real child up until I caught her having sex
Q. I am 44 and have been happily married for 10 years. I have no children of my own, but my wife has a daughter from a previous marriage. I love her to death and raised her as my own since she was 6 years old. She is now 16, turning 17 in 2 months ...
A. 13 October 2010: OOoooooh, NO, don't tell your wife. Get some counseling. These answers have been brilliant, BTW.
Until you can get into a counselor, Use Aversion Therapy. Put an elastic band around your wrist and snap it every time the thought comes into your... (read in full...)
Friend avoids me just to stop rumors from starting
Q. I am married to my bff. I also have another best friend who is also married. We had an emotional affair that ended when work warned us. His wife works in office at our job as well. We still text daily but here is now the problem. He became one of my ...
A. 12 October 2010: The fact that you have crossed emotional boundaries is evident because you are agonizing over this whole scenario. You are kidding yourself that you are bff's or 'friendly couples'. You are 'stacking' him, or, stocking him. You have to face the ... (read in full...)
He's an Atheist, I'm not. I love him but we have a few issues...
Q. I was raised a Catholic but during my early teen years, I started researching everything I could about religion because life made little sense to me. At 18, I don't go to church, don't practice anything but the belief that there is something more ...
A. 7 October 2010: I have a deep trust in your weird feelings, or your intuition. I think that when we ignore them, which is far too often, we regret it in the long run.
Aside from all this, your age gap is either 16 years (almost twice your age) or 13 years diff... (read in full...)
Why does he want to stay when it is apparent that he is not happy with me?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been married for 17 years and together for 23 years, I am a devoted wife and mother of 2 adult children m y youngest who is a full time student still resides at home. My husband is lying to me, In 2008 he and I went on our firs...
A. 7 October 2010: If you are a retired Mom who stayed home and raised your children, you may be entitled to spousal support; you certainly are entitled to half of all the marital assets. Consult a lawyer who deals with family law. I'm sorry - he seems to be going ... (read in full...)
Has anyone had a threesome just to keep their partner?
Q. Has anyone had a threesome just to keep their partner? How did this work out?...
A. 7 October 2010: NOOOOOoooooo no no no no.
If you are put into the position of being forced into doing something which is morally against your own wishes sexually, do not compromise your own personal values, ever! This kind of decision will leave you riddled with... (read in full...)
Unhappily Married
Q. I am an alcoholic/addict who has been married for 9 years. I currently have 1 year clean and sober. I can't seem to enjoy my family. I am miserable once I walk through the door. Why????? ...
A. 6 October 2010: I would explore this with a therapist first, and then a marriage counsellor with your wife to sort this all out.
Sounds like something that needs a LOT of time, not pat answers, but considering you are only just 1 year clean and sober, you shou... (read in full...)
One Year Anniversary Present?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are going to make a year in a month.. what is a great present for our aniversary? ...
A. 5 October 2010: I think that the Realist had a great idea about making a special memory for your first anniversary by doing a new activity together. Afterwards, a meal and a small token to mark the occasion as a memento would be great! Perfect Anniversary! There ... (read in full...)
Do I pursue something with him again or move on? I
Q. I've been dating this guy for about 2 years, we have had our ups and downs just like any other couple, I thought we were doing really, really well..he even took me out to California to meet his dad in August! But three weeks ago, he broke up with ...
A. 4 October 2010: He knows that you don't want to be friends now that you have slept with him again since the breakup and the agreement to be 'just friends'. I think that he needs some time alone to sort out his priorities, which is why he wanted the split in the ... (read in full...)
Can you really be torn between two people
Q. I'm caught in a dilema from messing with a married man.we both felled in love. Because of all the drama and opinions of what and how the relationship started it both played a part in both our situations which I believe ended it. He went back to ...
A. 4 October 2010: Sometimes I feel like I'm his gataway from his wife.... (read in full...)
Four missed periods?
Q. I am 19 years old, and on loestrine 24 birth control, I have been taking this for almost a year with no problems at all. Up until recently. I have missed four periods now, and taken about 8 at home tests, all negative. I have no signs of pregnancy, ...
A. 3 October 2010: Oh, Hun!!!
You need to be the master of your own destiny. Pregnancy is a pretty progressive thing, and it doesn't go backwards in time!
If your ARE pregnant, do you really want to leave this in the hands of an employee?
Pregnancy tests can be... (read in full...)
Was my boyfriend's behaviour appropriate?
Q. my boyfriend is in real estate. He went to a closing with his female agent. even though she lives closer to the closing site, she drove back to the office to meet y boyfriend so they can go together. I had no problem with that but after the ...
A. 1 October 2010: I love that it's always an anonymous that tears a strip off of me. Try posting with a name.
The OP said they spent 3 hours on personal errands, NOT business!
I personally know of two relationships that started in carpooling, with co-worke... (read in full...)
Should I tell my parents about my secret boyfriend
Q. okay i am going to uni next week and i have been dating my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years my paretns don't know i havent told them because there is a 9 year age gap i am 18 he is almost 28 we are in love but iam wondering if i shold decide to tell my ...
A. 29 September 2010: Your parents will be hurt by the fact that you kept this a secret. They might be angry that you started dating a 26 year old when you were 15 1/2, That's underage and illegal. It makes your bf suspect as to his intentions in THIS parent's eyes! ... (read in full...)
B/f angry at me no matter what I do!
Q. I am getting really confused! My boyfriend is going through an angry patch and everything I do and everything I say ends up making him agitated with me! I do not know what I am doing wrong!! and to my knowledge I have been nothing but supporti...
A. 29 September 2010: I think dirtball needs to change his name to something else. That was a really good answer.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend expects me to have sex with him he's 14 I'm 15!
Q. Im 15 years old,and im having problems with my boyfriend last night he asked me what my bases are and i told him and now he wants to have sex with me! he is a year younger than me too! I love him and i dont want to break up with him cause that will ...
A. 29 September 2010: Tell your Mom. This guy is being to sexually aggressive. Guys will push for sex, and girls think that they will love them in return. What often happens is the guys GETS the sex, and breaks up with you. Not really worth the heartache at your age. ... (read in full...)
Still bleeding after 1st time sex 8 days ago. Is something wrong?
Q. Dear Cupid This is really embarrasing, basically i had sex with this guy who had a very large penis and it did hurt as it was my first time, but you see i have been bleeding for longer then 8 days i think. I thought it was my period that star...
A. 29 September 2010: Go and tell your Mom to take you to her OB/GYN doctor as soon as possible. You should be checked out.
We aren't doctors on this site, and your Mom needs to know that you are sexually active and have a talk with you about your resp... (read in full...)
Can masturbation break your hymen?
Q. i am 16. i want some tips about how to masturbate to make it more fun. i also wants to know if masturbating has risk of breaking the hymen?? am a virgin...
A. 29 September 2010: Masturbation can only break your hymen if you use a dildo or vibrator inside your vagina and penetrate the hymen. Instead, use a vibrator or your fingers to rub your clitoris. This won't do anything to your 'virginity". It's normal and healthy to ... (read in full...)
Bored with the relationship and want to break up, but she'd be devestated
Q. I've been with a girl 5 months and I'm beginning to get bored. We slept together after a week, have been on holiday together, and have also been on family meals with each others families. Our sex life is really good, but everything else is boring. ...
A. 28 September 2010: I've been with my husband for 38 years, an I'm rarely bored. You are very young, too young to settle for something that you don't want, you have all the time in the world ahead of you. Even though it's not easy to break it off with someone who ... (read in full...)
Was my boyfriend's behaviour appropriate?
Q. my boyfriend is in real estate. He went to a closing with his female agent. even though she lives closer to the closing site, she drove back to the office to meet y boyfriend so they can go together. I had no problem with that but after the ...
A. 28 September 2010: It's a problem. Guys will not see that this is a wily female up to no good. You wouldn't be writing us if your 'spidey senses' weren't tingling and your woman's intuition has obviously kicked in!!!
ALSO, guys don't like running errands for 3 ho... (read in full...)
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