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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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I just feel so directionless!
Q. Recently, well its been a feeling for some time but more prominent at the moment, I just feel so directionless! My life isn't going anywhere. I'm 21, never had a girlfriend, sex, never even had a proper kiss, no female friend. I'm quite shy ...
A. 8 December 2010: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw... (read in full...)
I just feel so directionless!
Q. Recently, well its been a feeling for some time but more prominent at the moment, I just feel so directionless! My life isn't going anywhere. I'm 21, never had a girlfriend, sex, never even had a proper kiss, no female friend. I'm quite shy ...
A. 7 December 2010: Invictus
OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under... (read in full...)
She's leaving for Thailand in 1 month for 3 months, should I wait??
Q. hi ... so ive met this girl on the internet about 3 months ago, we have met up about 5 times as she lives 2hours drive away. weve had sex which was amazing and like each others company very much. but theres one problem.... shes going a...
A. 6 December 2010: She is saying that you aren't exclusive yet and that she will be gone for only three months. The three month separation is a fact that can't be changed. She's not willing to tell you that she is your girlfriend quite yet; but that seems logical if ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend spy on me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for just over three years. During this time, he has broken the relationship off about 4 times. Every time this happens there is no warning. Things are going along fine. We are spending all of our nights ...
A. 5 December 2010: If you are 36-40; then you are a grown woman and should know that this is a big warning signal of a man who has control issues; and could possibly be an abuser.
I'd demand that he give back the key. That's for sure. If he doesn't give it back... (read in full...)
I don't even want to have sex half the time!
Q. I constantly offer myself to my boyfriend and have sex with him whenever he wants. He loves me and really appreciates that about me, however I don't even want to do it half of the time. Theres something wrong with me, I don't know why I always try ...
A. 5 December 2010: Well, relationships go through patterns. You did not say how long the two of you have been together or how long you have been having sex. Hopefully, you will have gone out for more than two months, better yet, six months before you had sex ... (read in full...)
I want my parents to approve of my 29 year old boyfriend!
Q. I have been dating this guy for 3 months now. I am 20 and he is 29. My parents hate the age difference. I am too scared to let them meet him cuz of this now. I really like him but I want my parents to be happy and approve of the guys I da...
A. 5 December 2010: Relax. You don't need your parents approval unless you are planning on marrying the guy.
You do need your OWN approval. Do you really want to be around a guy that you have to make excuses for or worry about? It sounds like you have a sexu... (read in full...)
Is it ok to go back to his place on a first date?
Q. Hi I met a guy and we are going on a date. If he asked me back to his house after the date should I go? Is this ok on a first date? I have no intention of sleeping with him this quickly, so there will not be any sex, but if he offers to contin...
A. 4 December 2010: Or...
"Would you like to come up and see my etchings?"... 1950's...
"Would you like to listen to my record collection?" ... 1960's...
"Want to come and listen to my 8 Track collection in my VW Van..." 1970's...
"Check out my video collection... (read in full...)
Is it ok to go back to his place on a first date?
Q. Hi I met a guy and we are going on a date. If he asked me back to his house after the date should I go? Is this ok on a first date? I have no intention of sleeping with him this quickly, so there will not be any sex, but if he offers to contin...
A. 4 December 2010: Yes, I may have my own opinions (I believe you were asking for other peoples opinions when you wrote in here), but two of my friends were date raped, and the last time my daughter went over to a 'new friends' house (ALL his friends, nobody that SHE ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to go back to his place on a first date?
Q. Hi I met a guy and we are going on a date. If he asked me back to his house after the date should I go? Is this ok on a first date? I have no intention of sleeping with him this quickly, so there will not be any sex, but if he offers to contin...
A. 3 December 2010: Sex happens at every CONCEIVABLE hour that you can think of. Like he said; he's 'asking' if it's okay to get you alone and trying to see what he can get away with. Why put yourself in this position if you have no intention of having sex with him? ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to go back to his place on a first date?
Q. Hi I met a guy and we are going on a date. If he asked me back to his house after the date should I go? Is this ok on a first date? I have no intention of sleeping with him this quickly, so there will not be any sex, but if he offers to contin...
A. 3 December 2010: Nooooooo!
Do not go back to his house on the first date. If you have just met; then it isn't the most logical thing to do; it's not appropriate, it's not necessary and it's possibly not safe. Date rape happens when women don't follow their own ... (read in full...)
Do I really not have adult rights at 18?
Q. Do I really not have adult rights at eighteen? I went to the ER and they told me they needed my mom's signature. Then my mother told me she made an appointment at the gynecologist because I have irregular periods and told me the doctor will need to ...
A. 2 December 2010: Your question doesn't have a flag beside it; I am not sure where you live. Can you please give us more details?... (read in full...)
She told my crush about the dream I had of him!
Q. Okay, I recently told one of my 'friends' about a dream I had about my crush. It wasnt anything bad, it was just a wierd dream where we were both dressed up as twins for twin day at school, and It was kinda wierd! haha! THEN my 'friend' goes and ...
A. 2 December 2010: You can be pretty sure from the fact that she told one comment; she probably blabbed them all. Sorry Hun, but the only way to keep a secret is to keep it to yourself.
And, erm, she's not a friend. It sounds like she is pretending to hook you ... (read in full...)
Women and our loss of sex drive!
Q. I got a question for ya'll. I have been told is very common in women. Why do we lose our sex drive, or have none at all? I am a 35 year old all american woman. I got 2 kids, a husband and 2 step-daughters. I have been with my husband for 8 years or ...
A. 1 December 2010: Agree w/bettyb! At 30-35, you should be going through your 'sexual prime' (I recall my husband started calling me nymphomaniac at this age) - so I suspect that your hormones need to be checked if your sex drive is at 0 to none. It might be normal ... (read in full...)
Is unfaithfulness a disease?
Q. Hi everyone. Ok so here's my story. I've been dating this guy 'L' for almost 9 months. I love him too much, he means the world to me. I even have plans for the future with him. BUT i have some faithfulness issues, for some reason, I ...
A. 29 November 2010: You don't have respect for your boyfriend. You don't have respect for yourself either. No one out here can give you back your self respect or change your behavior for you - that's up to you to do. You are the person in charge of your own self ... (read in full...)
When is verbal abuse too much verbal abuse?
Q. I have a lot to ask, but it all leads up to, "When has the verbal abuse gone "too" far? My husband and I have been together for 8 years, we just recently got married this year. 8/2010. We are both mid 30's, and we each have 2 children. This is his ...
A. 29 November 2010: Here's a checklist that might help.
http://www.familyshelterservice.org/what-is-abuse/assess-your-situation/
... (read in full...)
There's always someone out there who is better looking, more intelligent, etc.
Q. I feel very inadequate. My boyfriend is attracted to another girl. She's more intelligent than me, more beautiful (her face is better looking than mine), more physically fit, and more socially skilled. I don't know what to do about it. I'm ...
A. 26 November 2010: My opinion is that most of the successful couples that I know are similar in the looks department - 10's date other 9's and 10's, 6's and 7's with 7's and 8's, someone who is close to you in the looks department, if you get my drift. It might seem ... (read in full...)
What should I do about my wife?
Q. my wife demeans me, she is careless, she confronts her mother instead of me, she's always tired and busy when i want her to do something for me and she's boring in bed! she is ready to go if would tell her to, what should i do about her?...
A. 24 November 2010: You tend to get the wife that you deserve. In other words - I'll bet if we asked your wife what kind of a husband you are - you wouldn't be written up as her Prince Charming either. EVERYTHING in life requires EFFORT - and you get OUT of something ... (read in full...)
I'm only 25 and have never got wet, regardless of how turned on I am! Is there something wrong with me?
Q. Im 25 years old, and no matter how turned on I am , even when I orgasm I just dont get wet. I have been sexually active and masturbating for years and I dont have any problems getting sexually aroused. I have just never ever got wet. I don't ha...
A. 24 November 2010: BTW, Something that I forgot to add...
Most women will need to supplement her own natural lubrication depending on how long penetrative sex takes place for too, it's natural to need a little help if you plan on spending Sunday in bed, for exam... (read in full...)
I'm only 25 and have never got wet, regardless of how turned on I am! Is there something wrong with me?
Q. Im 25 years old, and no matter how turned on I am , even when I orgasm I just dont get wet. I have been sexually active and masturbating for years and I dont have any problems getting sexually aroused. I have just never ever got wet. I don't ha...
A. 24 November 2010: Don't apologize for writing all the facts down, we appreciate getting them up front instead of having to pry it out or having more facts come out after we take the time to answer, so thanks for that!
Every woman is different and each woman goes... (read in full...)
Getting mixed signals...so is he into me or not?
Q. Ok, so i like this guy at school. We are major flirty when we are together, but when he's with his friends, or when im with my friends, we don't talk, but we do make eye contact. I mean, the only time we don't talk when we're with our friends is at ...
A. 21 November 2010: Take the pressure WAY off both of you and enjoy this lovely, lovely stage of a budding relationship... Yes! He likes you. Just be patient and let it develop.... (read in full...)
I don't understand how this whole reproduction system works!
Q. I know this is a common question. But pls i need help. I don't understand how this whole reproduction system works. Can i fall preg after having sex 6 days after my periods? When am i likely to fall preg(if terms of days after periods)?...
A. 19 November 2010: I'm sorry - I was agreeing with chigirl; my first answer was written in response to chigirls first answer. Princess Aunty's information would only be true if every woman had a 28 day cycle - so it is a bit inaccurate as a general rule of thumb - ... (read in full...)
I don't understand how this whole reproduction system works!
Q. I know this is a common question. But pls i need help. I don't understand how this whole reproduction system works. Can i fall preg after having sex 6 days after my periods? When am i likely to fall preg(if terms of days after periods)?...
A. 19 November 2010: The spontaneous release of an egg is more likely to happen with a man who isn't the mate; and that's one of the reasons why approximately an estimated 10% of children are NOT biologically the husbands! Thus opening a window of opportunity for ... (read in full...)
I don't understand how this whole reproduction system works!
Q. I know this is a common question. But pls i need help. I don't understand how this whole reproduction system works. Can i fall preg after having sex 6 days after my periods? When am i likely to fall preg(if terms of days after periods)?...
A. 19 November 2010: The window of fertility is 5 days before your actual ovulation and 1-2 days after ovulation.... (read in full...)
I don't understand how this whole reproduction system works!
Q. I know this is a common question. But pls i need help. I don't understand how this whole reproduction system works. Can i fall preg after having sex 6 days after my periods? When am i likely to fall preg(if terms of days after periods)?...
A. 19 November 2010: This is 100% TRUE. Even though you have a cycle, your cycle might not be a regular 28 day cycle, and regardless, you CAN release an egg spontaneously during sex! The only way to protect yourself is to use TWO forms of birth control if you don't ... (read in full...)
What do you do about horrible housemates?
Q. two of my housemates dont like me i know this because they have spoke about me behind my back to my 3rd housemate. being a good friend she told me they had said that i dont think for myself my mum helps me with all my work and its easier for me i...
A. 18 November 2010: Pick up after yourself. Do your dishes right away.
Stop making excuses for your behavior and grow up. You think it sounds 'mean' but it is mostly the lack of your own self disciple about your own behavior inside of your jointly lived in home... (read in full...)
It hurts when he cums inside me. What can we do?
Q. I'm 31 and dating a 56 year old male. He tends to have strong ejaculations to the point that he goes too deep and hard inside of me. Ive told him this is painful. The sex is great up until he ejaculates. I've asked him to pull out, but for some ...
A. 17 November 2010: Make him wear a condom, get on top toward the end, and get a taser in case he pulls this again. Hurting you "because he can't help it when he is coming" isn't an excuse. I'll bet if he were "tased" once when transgressing and hurting you, he ... (read in full...)
Does anyone have a list of meanings for certain dreams?
Q. this is prbably going to sound stupid , but does anyone have a list of meanings for dreams ? likeabout someone dying , or me having to hide with one of my friends ... I have had a bunch lately of the same thing . does anyone have anything ? I some...
A. 17 November 2010: Dreaming about death is only an indicator of change; not death. Every change in life is the start of a new direction, therefore; a death is simply representing a death of our past!
Hiding from one of your friends means you are suspicious of your... (read in full...)
Should I go to a strip club to lose my virginity?
Q. Well first off im an 18 years old and im still a virgin. Everyone say to me that im lucky because I can share that experince with someone I truely care about but im having second thoughts. That maybe I should go to strip club and pay for it. So do ...
A. 17 November 2010: loves YOU, not loves love. ... (read in full...)
Should I go to a strip club to lose my virginity?
Q. Well first off im an 18 years old and im still a virgin. Everyone say to me that im lucky because I can share that experince with someone I truely care about but im having second thoughts. That maybe I should go to strip club and pay for it. So do ...
A. 17 November 2010: It's better to share it with someone who understands you, accepts you and loves love.
To be perfectly honest and blunt; it's hard for a guy to 'hold off' the first time - perfectly normal - BUT - would you rather do that in front of a sex work... (read in full...)
At what age do guys hit puberty?
Q. whatage do guys usually start puberty ? use your own story if you have to . butt my boyfriend is a year younger than me . and I'm pretty sure he hasn't hit puberty . about what age will he , and will he want more sexually activity from me ? please ...
A. 16 November 2010: 47.... (read in full...)
She wants me to be the father of her child
Q. Hi need advice on the technicality of my situation. She is 35 and I am 28. We were former FWBs (friends with benefits). But we have not met for 5 years. Recently she was in town and asked if she could stay overnight. We did a lot of catching ...
A. 14 November 2010: Do you really want your child to be born into a one-parent family or would YOU want your children to be raised by YOU? Children aren't called bastards out-of-wedlock anymore - but that doesn't mean that they don't realize that they are missing one ... (read in full...)
Is there ever a right time to tell someone that their partner is cheating?
Q. Dear Cupid What I want to know is where it would ever be right to tell someone that there partner is cheating on them. My situation is this: Four years ago I was drawn into an affair with a man I work with who was living with someone. He...
A. 14 November 2010: Whether or not the guy is getting off 'scott free' or not, YOU were responsible for getting involved with him in the first place, 'pursued' or not. Every middle-woman can spot the Office Lothario. At your age you can't play the inexperienced ... (read in full...)
I was lying there thinking, is that it?
Q. Compatible, just not in bed. I have been seeing this great guy for six weeks or so. Really get on well, easy to be with him, he is very caring and considerate. Also affectionate and I can tell he is into me. Feel happy when we are together. ...
A. 14 November 2010: Guys that are great in bed have compassionate and communicative TEACHERS.
The first time is NEVER an indicator of the rest of your sex life. If everything else is clicking, and you think he's a great guy, and his equipment is obviously work... (read in full...)
Disastrous first attempt at sex
Q. I had sex for the first time today and it was kindof a disaster. We were both really nervous, and he kept loosing his erection for a while, and then he finally was able to keep it and he clumsily put on the condom. It was really hard to get it i...
A. 14 November 2010: 13-15?
Sorry - Can't help. I think you guys are far too young to be going this far and don't get all the implications that come with the deal. I sure hope you were using TWO forms of birth control.
Sex is something that comes with having a... (read in full...)
How to deal with passive aggressive husband!
Q. I just learned 3 days ago that my husband is Passive Aggressive. What an eye opener. I have a feeling this will be a long letter(It is very long, grab a coffee lol), I have never spoke to anyone about this other than my older daughter, no one is ...
A. 12 November 2010: I am going to recommend that you go out or online and buy 3 books - Bad Childhood - Good Life, The Care and Proper Feeding of Husbands and the Care and Proper Feeding of Marriage, all by Dr. Laura. She is a pretty no-nonsense advice giver.
I have... (read in full...)
Confused by a woman's cycle.
Q. I'm a bit confused by the woman's cycle. If I had my period the 25th of October and it ended 4-5 days later...what are my fertile days and what are my not-so fertile days? I looked at some things online but got horribly confused. Also, I wondered, ...
A. 12 November 2010: You ALWAYS ovulate 14 days before your period, no matter whether you have a 26 day cycle, a 33 day cycle, or a 41 day cycle - you always ovulate 14 days before your period. Not everyone has a 28 day cycle. Keep that in mind if you are using this ... (read in full...)
Girls keep saying they don't see a romantic future with me
Q. So I've been broken up for 2 months now and my ex girlfriend has been in a new relationship about a week after she ended things with me. This guy she met while she was still involved with me. She said that I was truly a wonderful person that she ...
A. 12 November 2010: I'm hearing that you are choosing the wrong type of girl over-and-over again more than I am hearing that there is something wrong with you, my friend! Really! You sound like the type of guy that every girl wants hopes she will meet!
The firs... (read in full...)
How do I catch my orgasm?
Q. Dear readers I have a serious problem and am unsure what to do, I lost my virginity at the age 18 to the person that I will be soon marrying. I also took his by the way and for starters were actually pretty great at it and are in to trying new thin...
A. 11 November 2010: It is a fact that MOST women cannot reach orgasm by penetration alone, 70% to 75% of all women need direct clitoral stimulation as well. That can be experimenting with different positions where you or he also stimulate your clitoris, or oral sex. ... (read in full...)
I'm so ticklish it interferes with intimacy
Q. I'm in my late teens and have been going out with my boyfriend for almost two years now. We have been friends since childhood and so are pretty close, and are very comfortable just cuddling and watching a film, playing computer games, going to ...
A. 9 November 2010: And, I'm going to add it, tickling a person when they are very ticklish - and it upsets and bothers them - if he should continue to do this after you have begged him to stop - it's abusive and cruel. It's not a funny thing or a kind thing when you ... (read in full...)
How to get closure from a sociopath ex?
Q. I have been driven to the point of almost insanity because my ex could not be honest. I later found out he was extremely sociopathic, was a pathological liar, and that every time I had an instinct that he was not telling me the truth about ...
A. 8 November 2010: As academically High Honor Student, you might not be used to 'failure' and may be viewing this ending as something which you failed - this just isn't the case for you here! "I'm a smart girl, how could I be so stupid?" is probably the question that ... (read in full...)
I'm sick and bored of every day. I've never been in love and I'm turning 22.
Q. I'm sick and bored of every day. I've never been in love and I'm turning 22. I'm sick of going to lectures, studying, and then coming home. Every day, nothing happens. I don't meet new people because I'm too big of a loser to go out socializing. ...
A. 8 November 2010: Sounds like you are throwing a big ol' PityParty for yourself - don't worry - we all do it from time-to-time.
You must think that life is easy for everyone else! Here's the secret... are you ready... NOPE! IT"S NOT EASY FOR ANYONE!!!!!! Most... (read in full...)
How to get closure from a sociopath ex?
Q. I have been driven to the point of almost insanity because my ex could not be honest. I later found out he was extremely sociopathic, was a pathological liar, and that every time I had an instinct that he was not telling me the truth about ...
A. 7 November 2010: Well, You answered a lot of your own questions within your letter, and now it's up to you to stick by your own insights and not take him back again or ever believe him again. There's no point of asking him for honestly or an explanation when you ... (read in full...)
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