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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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Was my boyfriend's behaviour appropriate?
Q. my boyfriend is in real estate. He went to a closing with his female agent. even though she lives closer to the closing site, she drove back to the office to meet y boyfriend so they can go together. I had no problem with that but after the ...
A. 1 October 2010: I love that it's always an anonymous that tears a strip off of me. Try posting with a name.
The OP said they spent 3 hours on personal errands, NOT business!
I personally know of two relationships that started in carpooling, with co-worke... (read in full...)
Bored with the relationship and want to break up, but she'd be devestated
Q. I've been with a girl 5 months and I'm beginning to get bored. We slept together after a week, have been on holiday together, and have also been on family meals with each others families. Our sex life is really good, but everything else is boring. ...
A. 28 September 2010: I've been with my husband for 38 years, an I'm rarely bored. You are very young, too young to settle for something that you don't want, you have all the time in the world ahead of you. Even though it's not easy to break it off with someone who ... (read in full...)
I cant deal with the fact all my ex's have new girlfriends
Q. In the past couple of days Ive come to realise that all my exes (4) have got new girlfriends and for some reason it really bothers me. Apart from one (the love of my life am still not over him), the other 3 I dont even have feelings for anymore so ...
A. 28 September 2010: They're ex's, they're not friends. Why on earth are you putting yourself through this? Don't worrying about them noticing or not, delete them from your wall. The "love of your life" did this, it was the right thing to do, you should do it too. ... (read in full...)
Ashamed and disgusted that I lied about being pregnant twice!
Q. When I was younger (Im now 27), I had really low self esteem and a drug problem. When I started a relationship with a guy, it would always end badly because I would become clingy or too much for them. I could not deal with this rejection and on 2 ...
A. 28 September 2010: That's a lovely answer.... (read in full...)
Christmas gift for my country boy?
Q. im wandering what to get my boyfriend for christmas. i'm 18 and he's 21, and by christmas we will have been together for 5 months and he already means the world to me. but i have no idea what to get him. he's a bit of a country boy if that helps ...
A. 28 September 2010: My son just lined up for "Halo" last week, so I guess that's a popular game. If he's into country music, how about guitar lessons together or line dancing lessons together? That would be a great shared experience and future memories too! Here's a ... (read in full...)
Relationship with a third cousin.....
Q. can you have kids with your third cousin? is it alright to date your third cousin?...
A. 28 September 2010: It's not illegal, but it's frowned upon by families...
Children who would be a product of third cousins together should be fine, but genetic counseling would probably be advisable.
I see that you are from the US. I think there are probably... (read in full...)
Was my boyfriend's behaviour appropriate?
Q. my boyfriend is in real estate. He went to a closing with his female agent. even though she lives closer to the closing site, she drove back to the office to meet y boyfriend so they can go together. I had no problem with that but after the ...
A. 28 September 2010: It's a problem. Guys will not see that this is a wily female up to no good. You wouldn't be writing us if your 'spidey senses' weren't tingling and your woman's intuition has obviously kicked in!!!
ALSO, guys don't like running errands for 3 ho... (read in full...)
Should I approach him saying I saw it and ask if that was the first and last time?
Q. I've posted previously about finding pictures of my bf and some other guy on my bf's spare phone that I needed to use, and came across that.. when my bf gave me the phone he commented saying enjoying snooping around where your nose doesn't belong. ...
A. 28 September 2010: I think he has a lot of balls calling you out for "being nosey" if you are a couple. Most couples don't hide e-mails, phones and mail from each other. My husband wouldn't freak out if I answered his phone or scrolled through his pictures; probably ... (read in full...)
How do I organize the household chores with my live-in boyfriend?
Q. I live with my boyfriend. As of late, we've been having issues splitting chores around the apartment. It's become a pretty big issue with us. I feel like he doesn't do anything as far as cleaning up when things are dirty, but he thinks if he makes ...
A. 28 September 2010: Everyone pick up after themselves; meaning bus your own dishes and put away your won clothing.
Whoever uses it puts it away.
Them that cooks don't do the dishes.
Those that strip the beds and do the laundry get help with putting it away and mak... (read in full...)
He says she's just a friend!
Q. My husband has been sending texts to his "friend" at work that says things like - only if you caddy for me while topless and nice ass! He says that she is just a friend and that he's sorry and didn't mean to disrespect me, but what should I think?...
A. 28 September 2010: KICK HIS ASS!!!
No shit, Hun. You need to have a big old fight about this. He is wrong. No kidding. Swearing and all.
Texting with sexual innuendos is WAY off the normal range of what a husband should be doing. These kind of texts are open fli... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's kids were fine ... until I saw an old picture of her ex and now I feel cheated!
Q. Im 29 and shes 27, her kids are 2 and 5. We've been going out for about a year, just recently i saw some old pics of her kids, herself and her ex, they were never married... I saw some pics of them playing in the park and christining ... ...
A. 28 September 2010: BTW, i've been with my guy when i was 17 and he was 18, but we are managing to support our parents, and we can't walk away from those obligations because we are related. It's time to fish or cut bait buddy. Thanks Eyes!... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's kids were fine ... until I saw an old picture of her ex and now I feel cheated!
Q. Im 29 and shes 27, her kids are 2 and 5. We've been going out for about a year, just recently i saw some old pics of her kids, herself and her ex, they were never married... I saw some pics of them playing in the park and christining ... ...
A. 28 September 2010: Exactly. In the wild, a loin will kill another lions cubs when he takes over the pride. As humans, we are more evolved, but everyone has there own ideas of what they want in life. I'm just saying, you seem to know what you want, and you certainly ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's kids were fine ... until I saw an old picture of her ex and now I feel cheated!
Q. Im 29 and shes 27, her kids are 2 and 5. We've been going out for about a year, just recently i saw some old pics of her kids, herself and her ex, they were never married... I saw some pics of them playing in the park and christining ... ...
A. 27 September 2010: I think it's good that you at least have addressed the feeling that sprung up when you saw the pictures. If you do know WHY you feel this way, and it's not going to change, then you would be wise to move on.
Most people have feelings of jeal... (read in full...)
What would you change if you had a time machine?
Q. Hi, Just a general question. What would you change if you had a Time Machine? Hypothetically, if you could go back in time armed with this knowledge and understanding of mistakes you both made in a relationship and start all over, what would...
A. 27 September 2010: I would never have had that sex change operation...... (read in full...)
Men: why are you quiet during sex?
Q. To the men only: Why is it that some of you hold back from moaning or making noises during sex? Are you focusing too hard on your performance? ...
A. 27 September 2010: If you are self-conscious about noise around a person that you are boinking, then perhaps you don't know them well enough to be boinking them - lol! Or they might be worried about which name they call out in the heat of passion? Always the ... (read in full...)
Is it realistic for me to hold out for the day that he isn't selfish?
Q. My boyfriend has always been quite selfish. Not in a terrible way. But he does continue to put himself first. Even when I really really need him. I asked him to come over the other day as I had had an awful day and just needed comforting. He had ...
A. 27 September 2010: He's a guy. Most of them aren't 'maternal' or 'nurturing', most of the guys that I know aren't! I'd have to say that if you find a guy who is, grab him and hang on to him, but they are pretty few and far between; most of the time - selfish and ... (read in full...)
My wife wants to work things out but I don't think I can
Q. i have been with my partner for 8 years we have a most delightful little girl who is five. back in may we got married. in june things started going wrong. we did nothing but argue. this continued for the next couple of months and now i have bee...
A. 25 September 2010: You don't trust her?...
You moved out when things got tough. For better, for worse? Way to stick to your vows!
And dating? You are married. Separated. NOT divorced. Not cool.
30-35 age bracket? Wow. Not really getting the being ma... (read in full...)
He put 4 fingers inside of me????
Q. Hi, I'm 18 years old and have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half, and have been sexually active with him for about 8 months. On Monday we had sex and half way through he pulled out and fingered me for a short while, until I orgasmed, ...
A. 25 September 2010: Your vagina will not turn into a hat, not even after having a 10 pound baby (my own personal experience). Nature has designed the vagina to have very elastic qualities, and it will always 'shrink' back into shape after arousal and sex.
If vagi... (read in full...)
Why does my teacher act so weird around me?
Q. So there is this relief teacher who has just been accepted into my school and i know for a fact that she is only 19. I'm 16, a girl, and i'm the senior in my school. When i first saw her, i was blown away because she was really quite attractive. She ...
A. 24 September 2010: What he said.... (read in full...)
He worries about his performance in bed but can happily masturbate in front of me!
Q. I want to know this......I have been hanging out with this guy for sometime now...we have slept in the same bed together and he put my hand on his hard penis then took it away real fast....since then we got together and he masturbated in front of ...
A. 24 September 2010: Performance anxiety or perhaps some erectile dysfunction? ... (read in full...)
Hes pretty much got a whole porno store should I just move on?
Q. My situation is this....I am 46 and my boyfriend of almost 2 years (whom lives with me in my house) he is almost 41. Little age difference there but not a LOT. Well, the first week after he moved in, I caught him in the office at his computer with a ...
A. 22 September 2010: Forgive me if this is going to far - but check this list of signs of abuse for any other behaviors that you may not have noticed - the anger and the yelling constantly worries me, Hun.
h... (read in full...)
Should I muck around with my pills?
Q. Hey, I recently started taking an oral contraceptive pill and I'm coming to the end of my 21 day course of them. The problem is that, because I managed to lose two of my pills (down the sink - clumsy, I know)I'm finishing my pill two days earlier...
A. 22 September 2010: If you take them back to back, depending on the strength of the pills that you are on, you may have some "breakthrough" bleeding, like a light period. Best thing to do is bite the bullet and go and talk about this with the Doctor who prescribed ... (read in full...)
Hes pretty much got a whole porno store should I just move on?
Q. My situation is this....I am 46 and my boyfriend of almost 2 years (whom lives with me in my house) he is almost 41. Little age difference there but not a LOT. Well, the first week after he moved in, I caught him in the office at his computer with a ...
A. 21 September 2010: Some people can put up with their man viewing porn; but only if it's occasional and not obsessive. It sounds like that's not the case with your man. The secrecy about "his phone" worries me as well. It sounds like he is into live chat and even ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend keeps receiving dirty messages from ex but doesn't want to stop talking to him
Q. Hi I have been with this girl for nearly 2 years.She says she loves me very much and wants to be with me. Normally we have a good relationship. Before she was with me she had another boyfriend whom she cheated on, with a male friend of hers from...
A. 21 September 2010: That's great! Glad to hear how it worked out!
... (read in full...)
We want to have a baby but my husband drinks way too much!
Q. My Husband and I want to have a baby. here is the Problume. He is 52 I am 32, he Drinks WAYYYYY too much, not drunk every night, but he drinks a bottle of wine a night. He had a heart attack and noooo that didn't stop him from Drinking or ...
A. 21 September 2010: Glad to hear things are improving. Good luck with all your endeavours! :^D... (read in full...)
We want to have a baby but my husband drinks way too much!
Q. My Husband and I want to have a baby. here is the Problume. He is 52 I am 32, he Drinks WAYYYYY too much, not drunk every night, but he drinks a bottle of wine a night. He had a heart attack and noooo that didn't stop him from Drinking or ...
A. 20 September 2010: If he is drinking every night and smoking (not in the house), do you want to raise a child pretty much by yourself? You have the foresight to go into this knowing that he has already had one heart attack and hasn't changed his lifestyle, he might ... (read in full...)
Should I muck around with my pills?
Q. Hey, I recently started taking an oral contraceptive pill and I'm coming to the end of my 21 day course of them. The problem is that, because I managed to lose two of my pills (down the sink - clumsy, I know)I'm finishing my pill two days earlier...
A. 20 September 2010: You can add to the 21 day cycle by adding a few more days of pills from a new pack, but the 7 day cycle off should NEVER be changed. So take 21 active pills, and then 7 days off, or 25 active pills, and seven days off, or 28 active birth control ... (read in full...)
I have small breasts--should I get surgery?
Q. I have small breasts, and I feel very insecure. Should I get surgery? Men have teased me about it, even an ex said big breasts were better. Even hear on DC I've read guys post that guys do tend to prefer big breasts (even though they don't hate ...
A. 20 September 2010: Awwwwww! See? These are two great guys and they are sincerely telling you the truth - and I believe them!!!
Guys may go a bit gaga over a big pair of breasts, but really, they don't prefer them! The right guy will want you - the whole pack... (read in full...)
Is it my boyfriends business my credit card debt?
Q. So confused...... I have been with my boyfriend for the last couple of years. His finances are in order, mine are not. I used to be debt free but ended up going back to school and acquired my credit card debt while I was in school ( not from ...
A. 20 September 2010: All I can tell you is lying and hiding the truth will produce more of the same results from him.
The time has come to be totally honest with him and "put all your cards on the table" - meaning tell him the whole truth and let the chips fall wher... (read in full...)
When wearing revealing clothes, do women want men to look?
Q. When women wear revealing clothes - like skin tight exercise stuff, or a busty plunging neck line, as two examples - do they want men to notice? Does it make women happy to catch you staring, if you do so discretely? I am a bit confused about ...
A. 20 September 2010: Please don't yell across the room "Nice Tits" - Seriously - some guy did that to my daughter the minute that she walked into a house party the other night - she turned on her heels and left the party...
I think NO girl would be offended by "Wow... (read in full...)
Do I have the baby or not?
Q. I am pregnant, of the guy who i have been having sex with, we have only been going out for awhile, bt we rarely used condom, nn he knows, ii didnt use proteccion of any sort. Now the problem is, doo I have the baby or not? Bec the guy who I truly ...
A. 20 September 2010: You can never be "just a little bit" pregnant.
This is urgent and not a matter for strangers to advise you on.
Go And Tell Your Parents Today. ... (read in full...)
Do I have the baby or not?
Q. I am pregnant, of the guy who i have been having sex with, we have only been going out for awhile, bt we rarely used condom, nn he knows, ii didnt use proteccion of any sort. Now the problem is, doo I have the baby or not? Bec the guy who I truly ...
A. 20 September 2010: Go and talk with your parents. This is not the sort of question to ask a bunch of anonymous strangers, it is far too important. Your parents know all the little details of your life and will be in the best position to help you now. Do this today!... (read in full...)
Why won't my nice guy connect with me on a deeper level? I'm confused!
Q. I’ve been with my guy for a little over 1.5 years. He is my first boyfriend, I am his 4th girlfriend. He is 6 years older and has many friends. I am shy and a bit sheltered, and am not so lucky with friends. We are both intelligent people, and we ...
A. 20 September 2010: He could just be that kind of guy! Some guys aren't into sentiment and mush, they show their women how they love them by their loyalty alone and think that it's enough. The question would be is this enough for you?
Jerry Seinfeld has a joke abou... (read in full...)
When wearing revealing clothes, do women want men to look?
Q. When women wear revealing clothes - like skin tight exercise stuff, or a busty plunging neck line, as two examples - do they want men to notice? Does it make women happy to catch you staring, if you do so discretely? I am a bit confused about ...
A. 20 September 2010: I wear a plunging neckline; mostly to let the hot flashes out and so that my head doesn't explode...
lol!
:^D
You need to learn the fine art of not getting caught, my friend! Men are visual creatures - this we know - and women wish to attract m... (read in full...)
Age...not just a number? Is he playing with me?
Q. Almost in love with my bf after almost seven months...16 hour dates, cooking together, long drives, pet names, always laughing together, sweet moments.we have a 15yr difference in age and that as well as other factors worry me. Our musical tastes ...
A. 20 September 2010: If you haven't met ANY of his friends or relatives after 7 months; there's a good chance that he's either married or involved in some other relationship - you might want to do some sleuthing and find out.... (read in full...)
Is it my boyfriends business my credit card debt?
Q. So confused...... I have been with my boyfriend for the last couple of years. His finances are in order, mine are not. I used to be debt free but ended up going back to school and acquired my credit card debt while I was in school ( not from ...
A. 20 September 2010: OF COURSE HE WANTS TO KNOW!!!
Are you seeing the bigger picture here Hunnie? The first thing I saw is that He Is SERIOUS about you! Wants YOU to be THE ONE!!! Nobody cares about someone else's finances unless they are thinking of marrying them... (read in full...)
Girlfriend keeps receiving dirty messages from ex but doesn't want to stop talking to him
Q. Hi I have been with this girl for nearly 2 years.She says she loves me very much and wants to be with me. Normally we have a good relationship. Before she was with me she had another boyfriend whom she cheated on, with a male friend of hers from...
A. 20 September 2010: Your girlfriend obviously want to eat her cake and have it too; all at your expense.
One of the reasons why she cheated in the past was because she had no boundaries of behavior set for herself. A faithful person, male or female, is only inti... (read in full...)
I love him but he makes me crazy!
Q. Hi. I've been married for six years. This is my third marriage. I didn't want to marry again, but because my husband was not from the USA, marriage was the only way that we could be together. (I did not want to move to his country.) This is his ...
A. 20 September 2010: On the first read through, I couldn't help but notice that your second husband wasn't a total opposite - we was the same thing in a different package - much like your third husband. You seem to like going after bad boys, wanting to take care of ... (read in full...)
How do I get my husband to enjoy showing off his sexy wife?
Q. Hey all some advice please, so thanks to good genes and hard work I have a good body and I love showing it off. I like the looks I get and it gives me a lot of confidence. Some people might say I dress like a slut but that's their opinion and I do...
A. 20 September 2010: Dress provocatively in private and more demurely in public.... (read in full...)
After finding out my partner used a prostitute, I'm wondering if he's the man I thought he was?
Q. My man and I have been together for almost three years now, and marriage is on the cards. We’re mature (early 50s) and have both been married and divorced, so it's inevitable we each have a past. Watching the news on TV the other night ther...
A. 18 September 2010: How does sleeping with a hooker once make him make him Hannibel Lecter? Try posting under your own nom de plume instead of anonymous when you are quoting other people incorrectly. ... (read in full...)
After finding out my partner used a prostitute, I'm wondering if he's the man I thought he was?
Q. My man and I have been together for almost three years now, and marriage is on the cards. We’re mature (early 50s) and have both been married and divorced, so it's inevitable we each have a past. Watching the news on TV the other night ther...
A. 18 September 2010: Judgemental much? A single guy visited a hooker once. He didn't kill puppies or rape anyone. He also didn't put words into anyone else's mouth. X^P... (read in full...)
What does it mean when women press their boobs into you?
Q. What does it mean when girls push their breasts against you, or brush their breasts against you, when in conversation or whatever? Over the years I have met many women who do this. It is not the majority, but certainly not a small minority e...
A. 18 September 2010: Hmmm....
I'm a DD cup, and mine have always seemed to mind their owner's wishes - and frankly, most people know when they have been bumped into. But resting them on someone's shoulder? Yeah, not accidental.
I'm just saying...... (read in full...)
What does it mean when women press their boobs into you?
Q. What does it mean when girls push their breasts against you, or brush their breasts against you, when in conversation or whatever? Over the years I have met many women who do this. It is not the majority, but certainly not a small minority e...
A. 17 September 2010: When it's unintentional, it's at the dentist or the hair salon, due to proximity. At a party, in front of your wife - It's Intentional. It's actually insulting.
Here's the game... "Let's see how long I can hold court and hold your husb... (read in full...)
After finding out my partner used a prostitute, I'm wondering if he's the man I thought he was?
Q. My man and I have been together for almost three years now, and marriage is on the cards. We’re mature (early 50s) and have both been married and divorced, so it's inevitable we each have a past. Watching the news on TV the other night ther...
A. 17 September 2010: My their's and there's and no's and know's seem to be all buggered up on my computer today. ;^D... (read in full...)
After finding out my partner used a prostitute, I'm wondering if he's the man I thought he was?
Q. My man and I have been together for almost three years now, and marriage is on the cards. We’re mature (early 50s) and have both been married and divorced, so it's inevitable we each have a past. Watching the news on TV the other night ther...
A. 17 September 2010: I'm assuming that this all happened before he met you and not while he was dating you; so it was a part of the man's past, it happened once, and it in know way defines his character.
He could have chosen to keep this part of his past to hims... (read in full...)
How do I get my husband to enjoy showing off his sexy wife?
Q. Hey all some advice please, so thanks to good genes and hard work I have a good body and I love showing it off. I like the looks I get and it gives me a lot of confidence. Some people might say I dress like a slut but that's their opinion and I do...
A. 12 September 2010: Showing you off would imply that you are still looking for something, putting your husband in the position of being cuckolded, which is probably why he doesn't like it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuckold
No matter how pretty you are or how much... (read in full...)
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