A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello all and Happy new year! Here's my question. What does it mean when you ask a man that you are involved with what he wants to do/be with you and he answers, "If I told you I would scare you" and smiles...nicely. We were cuddled up on the couch relaxing when this conversation took place and he followed his answer up with lots of squeezes and kissing. We don't have sex yet, but we have talked about it and will when we are ready. Any guesses? He did try to change the subject immediately after when I told him that he couldn't scare me. He said, "Would it scare you if I threw you out the window?" He was obviously using his very twisted sense of humor because he would never ever do that. Then the kissing commenced. Guys, what is this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt was only a first floor window so I guess we're doomed. Thanks guys.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): i think he probably was thinking seriously about more than kissing and cuddling, which is normal. But he didnt want to scare you off by saying i want to rip your clothes off and have hot sex with you and he knew that wasnt an appropriate comment but he still was thinking along those lines so he tried to diffuse it by being a bit silly. And i think you might have suspected that he was feeling ummm a bit ...horny and that is why you asked the question in the first place. *wink* mal
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): If it didn't feel right, then it wasn't right. You are trying to justify something he said that was twisted. Listen to your instinct. Where is the joke in it? If someone said that to me, even when laughing, I would be out of there like a shot.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionApparently none of my updates have made it on. I wrote 2 stating that I have known this man for 15 years, he would never throw me out a window except to save me from fire. my question is about the other comment he made and the title was created by the mods.
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female
reader, applebite8821 +, writes (9 January 2010):
 No, for me i think it's just a joke. I wouldn't bother much about it.
However, if he gives you more jokes of this kind in the future, I would say please be cautious. Well it's true they might not mean it but it could be a clue of his violent nature. Most of the time, people with twisted thinking would blurt out weird violent things like this. Just be careful.
Good that you don't have sex yet with this guy. And before you do, think again.
Good luck!!
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (9 January 2010):
"He was obviously using his very twisted sense of humor because he would never ever do that."
I would say that it's not very obvious if you're unsure if he actually meant it. I would definitely be taken aback by a comment like that; I guess the tone of his voice or whatever could make a difference as to how seriously I would take it. To me, it's a little weird and not that funny. But I think you should decide and if he continues with "jokes" of that nature I think you should go with your gut. If you continue to see him and those comments are making you uncomfortable, then I think you should tell him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe've known each other for 15 years, but have started dating again this last year. He was not actually going to throw me out the window. I am just wondering what a man means when he says he doesn't want to scare a girl when they are having a semi-serious but lighthearted talk about their relationship. I know you guys are worried about all the creeps out there and so am I but my hunny is just a little mysterious, that's all.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): i might make it clear that i dont have a problem with kissing and cuddling. i quite like them...i just think you shoul be kissing and ciddling someone whom you have done a lot of talking to and know well first.:)mal
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): you should have asked him. i wouldnt kiss and cuddle with some one that i even thought might have been serious. so find out. quit kissing and start talking. it has helped a lot of young relationships. mal
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female
reader, ms.rafaeli +, writes (9 January 2010):
 You don't have to take it so serious about his humour. It's just a joke, that's it!Birdynumnums said it well.. I think that if you DON'T have a compatible sense of humour (if that's what this was), then the relationship really can't become too sympatico ~ Understanding each others sense of humour is THE Key in a great relationship.
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reader, redsox29 +, writes (9 January 2010):
Sounds like he was just kinda nervous and we say all kinds of stupid things when we get nervous. I once compared my gf to an ipod when we got in serious talk mode. Dumb i know but it just came to my mind. I would just chalk it up to that and try not to read into it too much.Or else he is a psycho and you should run. Haha.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): Well, how do you scare an American girl surrounded by pop culture?He may want to go after you as in the "Scream" movies but just for fun?He may want to take you to a graveyard to have sex.He may want to play a vampire and make you succumb to him.Me may have OCD and his mind is always thinking of scary stuff that he cannot control. i.e., a la Howie Mandel.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLol the sense of humor I get. It's the question of what he meant when he said he would scare me if he told me what he really wanted from me. We have a pretty compatible sense of humor except he thinks i pick on him sometimes. He speaks in riddles an awful lot. I feel like he was insinuating something about the future.. the scaring me part may have something to do with the fact that I seem pretty independent at times. I don't know though. It takes me a long time to figure out things that he says. He never gives me a straight answer. I love that about him, but sometimes I wish I had a decoder! If a guy would try to imagine what he would mean when saying something like this it would really help! Thanks!
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (9 January 2010):
 Weird?I think that if you DON'T have a compatible sense of humour (if that's what this was), then the relationship really can't become too sympatico ~ Understanding each others sense of humour is THE Key in a great relationship. And if it WASN'T his sense of humour that his comment was demonstrating ~ then that's just weird and it's time to get the *bleep* out of there...
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