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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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For the guys: How often do you call a girl?
Q. Question for guys: How often do you call a girl you are sorta interested in but its really new and fresh and your taking it slow. Is it once a week? once every 2 weeks?...
A. 12 September 2009: My husband didn't call for two weeks. Then he arranged our first date. Then we called each other daily after that. If he had only called two weeks later after our first date, I would have assumed that it had gone badly and he wasn't interested in ... (read in full...)
Should I just settle?
Q. I am 29 and have never been married. I have been involved in a couple of serious relationships, but have never lived with any of my boyfriends. I don't put up with a lot of games or garbage and some call me too picky. I have a full social life and...
A. 10 September 2009: As Bill Pullman said in "Sleepless in Seattle", "I don't want to be someone who anyone settles for. Marriage is hard enough to go into it with such low expectations." I'm sure that you will find the right guy, and when you do, you will know it.... (read in full...)
Was this verbal abuse?
Q. Hi. I have been married for about one year, and we went out for about one year, so we have been together for two years. I have been depressed anyways, Idk why maybe because I am going to be graduating soon and this is a life change for me, graduati...
A. 8 September 2009: You can go through this list, if it helps:
http://www.familyshelterservice.org/assess.html... (read in full...)
Not even a peck yet! Should I make a move?
Q. I have been dating this guy for a couple of weeks...we both have expressed interest in each other. BUT, so far not even a peck! I know he is shy and wants to take things slow. But, the tension is killing me! Should I make a move? Will he be put off ...
A. 4 September 2009: I think a couple of weeks at least warrants a kiss. If you can steel your nerve - make the first move. At least, you will find out if he wants to become more than friends...... (read in full...)
We had an affair, he's divorcing his wife but what will others think of us?
Q. In Jan 2009 I moved across Canada to do my student teaching practicum in a small town. for the most part most of the other tacherswere really nice to me and I made alot of great friends. With in a few months of teaaching I started having an affiar ...
A. 3 September 2009: Surely this is a false posting.
I no for a fact that eneyone teachingin cnada needs to no how 2 spel.
... (read in full...)
How do I punish my son for what he did?
Q. Our 3 year old is very intelligent. He can write his name, sing the alphabet and ride a bike without training wheels. He is an excellent talker and even uses big words to describe things in detail. HOWEVER, he is mean to our dog. I keep ...
A. 2 September 2009: ...and I was raised by a woman who put me on a leash, kicked me when I was curled up in a fetal position when I was six and sent me outside to clean up trash when I was naked, at the age of ten, because it might upset the neighbors...
I have two ... (read in full...)
Crazy about my sister-in-law!
Q. I am crazy about my sister-in-law and have been for over 30 years. I have told her and tried to stop my affection but to no avail. Since her husband died 4 years ago it has got much worse. She says she has no desire for me but I don't beleive her ...
A. 2 September 2009: You are a blood-related relative to her dead husband.
YOU have been fantasizing about her.
She is your brother's widow.
ALL of these are facts, not fiction.
Really? You don't get it???
YOU ARE THE BROTHER OF HER DEAD HUSBAND.
It's not t... (read in full...)
How are things going to be ok if his actions don't follow his words?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years and I love him more than anything in the world. The only problem is where he lives. He live 2.5 hours away and we are both in college trying to graduate. I have tried everything to be closer to him but all ...
A. 2 September 2009: Reread your own letter and pretend it is from someone else... Then try to step outside of yourself and view this logically and without teary emotions. Then throw in the old saying - "Actions speak louder than words". Love isn't a feeling, love is ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is romantic and seductive... except for the way he rams his tongue down my throat!
Q. My boyfriend is very romantic and seductive. He makes me feel so hot, but once we kiss he always wants to french right away and as soon as my lips part he jams his tongue down my throat so hard it chokes and gags me, and even makes my throat hurt ...
A. 2 September 2009: Sit him down and TELL him exactly what you have told us.
Guys need to be told what to do, with kindness, and told IMMEDIATELY WHEN they do something that is hurting you.
If he ignores this little talk, ignores you when you have told him "Tha... (read in full...)
We fight and fight and fight... and love.... and fight, and fight some more - Please help
Q. Hi there, long message coming up. Im feeling quite depressed, so i'm probably going to sound like someone blabbering senselessly. Please read my message and try to make sense. Ive been in a very loving relationship for about a year no...
A. 1 September 2009: Things that I have learned after 33 years of marriage to a businessman who travels constantly and has lived in other countries while we were raising kids together...
Guys want to win the fight, girls want to have their "feelings" acknowledged. If Y... (read in full...)
How do I punish my son for what he did?
Q. Our 3 year old is very intelligent. He can write his name, sing the alphabet and ride a bike without training wheels. He is an excellent talker and even uses big words to describe things in detail. HOWEVER, he is mean to our dog. I keep ...
A. 1 September 2009: I tink that you need to protect your son from himself, and separate him from the dog. You should only be allowing them to be together during your supervision, and teach him how to care for another creature. I would be worried about him becoming a ... (read in full...)
I'm 46 and want to be more than a girlfriend!
Q. I am not a young woman, I'm a 46 year old who has been dating a 52 year old man for 3 years now. I'm divorced and his wife passed away. I want marriage but he doesn't. I have an 18 year old son who lives with me and my boyfriend wants to wait til ...
A. 31 August 2009: ?
You have an 18 year old son that lives with you and your boyfriend.
He has never had any kids and he lives separately.
I am totally unclear from what you have written. Does he live with you/or separately?
If you have let him move in, then wh... (read in full...)
How often does it happen where a man can't get it up?
Q. Can I get the opinions of guys out there - how often do you have problems with not being able to "get it up"? The other night a guy I have just started dating and I tried to have sex for the first time. He's about 27. We were both very comfortable...
A. 31 August 2009: If you have just started dating, and he is nervous, and you are now blaming yourself for not being hot enough, well, sex is entirely between the ears.
From the sound of your letter, you both rushed in to having sex far too quickly, and the inti... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife the truth that I don't find her sexy unless she is slim?
Q. Hi all. First time poster. I've been with my wife for 10 years and we have been married for 4 years and I love her very much. She is my best friend and we get along really well. Sure we have the odd argument but we normally talk things through ...
A. 30 August 2009: I'm afraid that telling her that you were attracted to her more when she was thin would be about the equivalent for your libido as "I liked you so much better when you had hair and weren't bald." She would eat more and get fatter, out of fear of ... (read in full...)
Is he using me to get to my friends and meet new people?
Q. i know this sounds ridiculous but i dont have trouble finding men at all. but i recently tried a dating website just for the heck of it and i ended up meeting someone. on our first date i didnt really care because its internet.. "it wouldnt work" ...
A. 30 August 2009: He sounds alright, but as a casual date and friend, not as a boyfriend.
It sounds like he has a different idea of being serious and when it is appropriate to have sex with another person, and that to him, sex is casual and not something that is a... (read in full...)
Do you think I was TOO harsh with my ex? Should I apologise?
Q. It's me again, with the ex problem. Okay so I bought the Magic of Making up, and the guy who wrote it says that if I want to get back together with my ex I need to not have any contact with him for a month and write him a letter telling him these ...
A. 30 August 2009: Wow. After reading this second question, I would hazard a guess that you and your stalker are probably fated to become a couple. A couple of what, I'm not sure...... (read in full...)
I'm married and I've turned into an angry PMS bitch!
Q. I've been married for 13 years, and I've turned into the angry PMS bitch in the last 4 years or so. It just keeps getting worse every day. My husband just keeps getting dumber, and doing less. He will do "girl" work like wash dishes, bake coo...
A. 30 August 2009: Like raising a toddler or putting up with a teenage girl in the house, you are going to have to pick and choose your battles. The reason WHY he puts towels on the fridge door or doesn't do something the way that YOU think it should be done? G... (read in full...)
I love my husband but our sex life is dull! Can I really last a lifetime of this?
Q. Me and my husband have been married for just over a year and have been together since we were 16. We were each others firsts and used to really ennjoy sex. However, recently (past 4-5 months) I have found that our sex life is almost non existant. My ...
A. 30 August 2009: Yeah, that's not normal. Sex is an act of intimacy, and it can be enjoyed throughout your whole life. It's not something that everyone gives up on eventually, or stops enjoying. Something is up with him - and you need to get to the bottom of it. ... (read in full...)
Is there any way of making a threesome comfortable for all involved?
Q. About a year ago I was with a girl, and one night we almost had a threesome with one of my best friends (male), that I wasn't particularly comfortable with. Just after we'd got things started off we were interrupted by a couple of friends having a ...
A. 30 August 2009: It's not a normal situation, it's not something that is supposed to happen on a regular basis, it's a little bit out there... If it were normal by everyones standards, you'd see triplets instead of couples; or group marriages. Even in the seri... (read in full...)
Husband hasn't done anything wrong but I want to leave him
Q. We have been married 22 years, and have three children 20, 17, and 14. I have always wondered if he was the right choice, even before we got married. I was an alcoholic in recovery when we met (I'm still struggling), and it seemed like the right ...
A. 29 August 2009: I think that you are lucky to have him and the flaws that you describe just sound like him being a regular guy!
I think you are whining and daydreaming about something that doesn't exist. The grass is always greener on the other side, but thei... (read in full...)
I want to break off with this jerk!
Q. Hi everyone, Please help me to stop being angry and more importantly- to stop caring. I have known this man for nearly five years. We went out for two and a half, one of which we lived together. I found out in 2007 that he was cheating and lyi...
A. 29 August 2009: Good God Woman! Why do you think that you deserve being treated like this? Stand up for yourself! You probably won't move on until you figure out WHY you are punishing yourself and think you don't deserve to be treated any better. TRUST ME - YOU ... (read in full...)
She didn't tell me her ex is drunk-dialing -- am I making a big deal over nothing?
Q. Is it your responsibility to tell your significant other if an ex is attempting contact with you? I have been living with my girlfriend of 2 years for about 1 year now. her boyfriend prior to me broke up with her about 5 months before we starte...
A. 29 August 2009: You should have let her handle it. You are yelling at her over something that she has NO control over, such as a drunken ex, and she isn't telling you about it because she knows that you are going to get all pissy and controlling about it. You... (read in full...)
Is there any way to make my penis smaller?
Q. I have a situation that requires your expert advice. I have tried other online advice and have never been taking seriously. I have an abnormally large penis and it is causing physical and emotional issues for me and my wife. To begin, my flaccid ...
A. 28 August 2009: You should capitalize on this as well - check it out!
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Who_has_the_largest_penis_in_the_world... (read in full...)
How can I get my friend's number or email without it being obvious?
Q. Heya, so the deal is i just met this amazingly beautifull smart girl in 9th grade, 3 days ago. We both connect really well. She doesn't seem to have many friends(from my knowledge, i dont know her personal life)I never see her talking to many ...
A. 28 August 2009: I don't have the pages for that last assignment - can you e-mail me with it? Then give her yours. ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to make my penis smaller?
Q. I have a situation that requires your expert advice. I have tried other online advice and have never been taking seriously. I have an abnormally large penis and it is causing physical and emotional issues for me and my wife. To begin, my flaccid ...
A. 28 August 2009: As far as dressing goes, you might want to ask a gay friend if their are any drag clubs in the area. Those guys have to hide their packages under skimpy clothing and seem to do a great job. They might be able to help you "dress" better than you ... (read in full...)
If I go help my ex, there'll be no going back to my current love!
Q. I am currently in a relationship with a man, living together. The problem comes in that my ex girlfriend needs to leave her current boyfriend (he's abusive and they have a child, he's even made the child cry.) And I love her, as much, if not more ...
A. 28 August 2009: Rescuing a person isn't usually a good basis for a relationship. If you have always been bi or gay, then "taking care" of someone else isn't going to repress your sexuality. It will come out in the long haul, and this woman, who you love, AND her ... (read in full...)
Am I supposed to be paying the photographer or the other way around?
Q. hi i was wondering if anyone would be able to help me on this,, well the thing is i made a profile up on a modelling and photography website, just to see if anything would come out of it !! i made it aware that i didnt have a portfolio, a few minuts ...
A. 27 August 2009: You would be paying him for your photos.
There are a lot of rackets out there, getting young women to cough up loads of money for 'professional' shots, and women do it thinking that something will come from it. If they are from a real, repu... (read in full...)
Is there any way to make my penis smaller?
Q. I have a situation that requires your expert advice. I have tried other online advice and have never been taking seriously. I have an abnormally large penis and it is causing physical and emotional issues for me and my wife. To begin, my flaccid ...
A. 27 August 2009: I am peeing myself laughing.... (read in full...)
Had sex with her, but she lied about her age - shes underage but now wants it every time we meet. What should I do?
Q. I'm 18 and she's 15 ... i really like her but she's fairly sexually aggressive and it's illegal ... what should i do? i mean she's not only in it for sex but she loves it ... she had told me she was 16 at the beginning and i apparently did something ...
A. 26 August 2009: I agree. There have been a lot of people prosecuted by parents, even if the two people were close in age and willing participants, because the law could be invoked. SO, don't sleep with ANYONE who is underage, even if you are both in love. The ... (read in full...)
I caught my husband cheating by text. Will I scare him away by being too needy?
Q. I recently discovered my husband has been cheating by texting and a bit more (but no sex as far as I know). He finished it when I found out and acted full of remorse. This has made me very insecure and I keep feeling I need to gain his approval...
A. 26 August 2009: I don't think that you are being foolish at all. I would, however, get some marital counseling to get to the bottom of the problem. It sounds like you still aren't comfortable, even putting in extra effort, and you need reassurance from getting ... (read in full...)
Is the vagina usually always warm or only when turned on?
Q. Pls is the virgina always warm in temperature or is it only when the lady is sexualy excited or wet....
A. 26 August 2009: I like to warm it up by pressing the Defrost or Reheat button after the ice cubes.... (read in full...)
Will he go back to having an affair when he feels comfortable again?
Q. A married guy had an affair but was so much wrecked with guilt when he felt that his wife was cheating on him. (It turned out that his wife was not having an affair) that he ended his affair very abruptly as the situation was an eye opener for him ...
A. 26 August 2009: Who knows? There's no rule of thumb! Some guys might have the fear of God whipped into them after such an incident and others are serial cheaters who are just always trying to get something. So, anyone would be just hazarding a guess. If I was ... (read in full...)
Married but in touch with the ex
Q. Alright so,I am married... and i've been chatting, texting and talking on the phone with my ex boyfriend. i haven't seen him in 10 years. When we talk he makes me feel so special, he said he never forgot about me and that he has feeling towards me ...
A. 26 August 2009: Really? Why bother calling him your husband? Why not START calling HIM your Ex/or your First Husband? For God's sake girl, you are DATING!
Homer said it best -
D'oh!!!
*smacking forehead*
... (read in full...)
My parents are so cruel! I really wish I wasn't their child
Q. This is my pathetic, sorry life story. pls dont ignore i need friends now more than ever. My mother has not been the one i always hope to have. All my life, she never corrects me calmly instead she yells, beat or she ignores me for long. i have...
A. 25 August 2009: I got a job and moved away from home when I was 18. I suggest you do the same.... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to stop sweating so much?
Q. Okay - I enjoy sport and I play alot of it. Unfortuantely I also tend to sweat quite a bit so I end up with some pretty unattractive sweat marks and this is a little embarrassing! Would this be a real turn off to guys? Or if they are the sporting...
A. 24 August 2009: You should check with your Doctor. There are prescription deodorants, and I have heard of Botox and Lazer treatments that help. There is also a small electrical device that you can hold under you armpit for 40 minutes a few times a week that helps ... (read in full...)
How can I warn others that he used to beat me without landing him in jail?
Q. Hi, i just came across this site so i thought what the hell i'll try it:) i was in an abusive relationship which the only way i got out was a real bad car wreck that almost killed me. i have been in recovery for 5 months now i should have a full ...
A. 24 August 2009: Without proof, you most likely cannot hope to press charges in criminal court, and it would be hard to go to civil court to ask for damages without it as well. At best, you could make a statement and have it witnessed, with whatever fact and dates ... (read in full...)
Ex is threatening me and my new boyfriend
Q. i am 14, live with my parents and finding it hard to see my boyfreind. my ex is not happy that im moving on with my new boyfriend, and has threatened me and my boyfriend against seeing eachother. i love my boyfriend but dont want him to get hurt by ...
A. 24 August 2009: Tell your parents and his parents immediately and make sure that they are both aware of the fact that this older boy is threatening you. This 17 year olds parents should be notified about how he is behaving. Threats should be taken seriously.
I... (read in full...)
How long before its ok to introduce your bf/gf to your friends?
Q. How long when dating someone should you introduce them to your friends...? I've been on a few (3) dates with this particular guy... He is moving this weekend and has friends coming up to see him and spend the weekend with him... then the weekend...
A. 24 August 2009: Well, I've been married for 32 years. I was with my friends when we met. He didn't introduce me to his for 2 months, and frankly, upon meeting them, I could see why! It took them forever to warm up, and guys like "taking the mickey" out of each ... (read in full...)
My ex is spreading rumors about me. How do I handle this?
Q. Okay there is a lot of little things I could say about this but I think I can keep it very brief. My ex gf is spreading rumors about me. I was 100% loyal to her although she was not to me. She is now with a guy who I know is not loyal to her. ...
A. 22 August 2009: Laugh. Really loud at shake you head in disbelief whenever the rumor surfaces its ugly head in your presence. Sometimes, defending yourself against a false accusation only serves to validate it somehow and give it far more credit than it deserves. ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfriend plan this baby? Can I trust her?
Q. Hello everyone. Im really not sure how to put this really but my gf and i are expecting a baby in early feb, but the thing is im becoming more worried about this as when we both found out i didn't want a child as really we havent been out that lon...
A. 21 August 2009: Like it or not, you did the deed, and sex makes babies.
Every method has an "ideal" effectiveness rate, and an "actual use" rate - because sex is the human way of procreation and nature is very determined to get that egg fertilized:
http:... (read in full...)
Do I contact the married man I had an affair with or leave it?
Q. Ok here goes,im worried about asking this question to my friends as im frightened of there reaction. Three years ago i had an affair with a married man,i was married too and not long given birth,my husband was an alcoholic,i was suffering with pos...
A. 21 August 2009: You already know the answer...
You had an affair because your husband was alcoholic. You have had two children by this man, but still, you take no responsibility for marrying an alcoholic or making poor choices for the two children that you have... (read in full...)
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