Like what
she writes?
... Add *irdynumnums to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
|
|
| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
|
Should I really have my phone attached to my hip and check it every five minutes?
Q. My bf is very impatient and has a short temper. I'd also like to mention he has never been abusive to me physically, mentally, or emotionally the past three years we've been together. I wish I could say the same for inanimate object. But... he...
A. 26 April 2009: Nooooo! It's not you. Your instincts about this are absolutely right on.
This is a classic example of controlling behavior and coupled with the fact that he is impatient, has a short temper and destroys your belongings when he is upset, I woul... (read in full...)
Is it normal for clitoral stimulation to hurt?
Q. Is it normal for clitoral stimulation to hurt? It might sound weird, but I'll be totally turned on, and when my boyfriend starts messing with my clit it hurts to the point where I have to tell him to stop. ...
A. 25 April 2009: There are certain times of the month when you are so excited and 'engorged' that your clitoral hood isn't covering and protecting your clitoris anymore - and because off that, direct stimulation is painful. You need to take control by talking your ... (read in full...)
He's financially stressed out and I have higher expectations
Q. I've just started dating a guy that I've known for about 5 years. I've been mates with his older brother and a family friend for approx 10 years. I'm 2 years older than him, and although I initially had an issue with this I've allowed him to take ...
A. 24 April 2009: I think that you are over thinking this. You are just dating. You don't owe it to him to make any commitments if you aren't ready, and it sure sounds like you aren't ready. Dating is about trying each other on and seeing if you fit.
It soun... (read in full...)
Will our childhood relationship last?
Q. I'm 15 and my girlfriend is 14 and we are seriously thinking about moving in with eachother when im 20 and she's 19 are we crazy? Are we going to last that Long?...
A. 23 April 2009: Well, stranger things have happened. My husband and I have been together since we were 17 and 18, 36 years ago. I'm sure that you will get a fair number of people that are going to tell you that most relationships between younger people don't ... (read in full...)
STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them?
Q. STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them? An STI is a sexually transmitted infection this is the "in vogue" name for what used to be called an Sexually transmitted disease (STD) This can range from pubic lice to AIDS and Hepatitis with m...
A. 22 April 2009: Nice Article!... (read in full...)
Does anyone believe in fortune tellers?
Q. My question is quite short, I'm wondering if anyone believes in Fortune Tellers? xx...
A. 22 April 2009: Fortune Tellers are people who know how to "read" peoples body language and tell them vague, generalized, random stuff until they can get feedback from their mark that they are heading in the right direction. They are con artists, but it can be ... (read in full...)
How can I apologise to my wife for the blunder I made 10 years ago?
Q. I need help to stop this major fighting I'm having with my wife. We're married over 10 years, and I did something stupid over 10 years ago when we were first married (no I didn't cheat). One of my stupid friends who's known us since before we were ...
A. 22 April 2009: You had to know that this was going to come up eventually. Some guy was bound to open his mouth and tell your wife, or more likely, one of their girlfriends or wives...
Why? Because everyone is only human and people make mistakes. Which may ... (read in full...)
When does looking go from appreciated to creepy?
Q. I'm sure this is a silly question, but I've read some answers on this site about how women like to be made to feel attractive, and that a man "looking" at a woman's body in a certain way can help make them feel sexy and attractive. Yet I get...
A. 22 April 2009: Funnily enough, that actually depends on where you are from and what culture you have grown up with. So whether or not you are British, and depending on who you are scoping out, people are going to have different takes on if you are coming on too ... (read in full...)
Any special rules on DC?
Q. Are there any rules on this site for answering quesions as an AA? Any rules of etiquette? taboo subjects? good form? Or if this site like a knife fight? (Aint no rules in a knife fight.) I have looked around the site and have not found any. ...
A. 21 April 2009: *ain't no rules in a knife fight* then kicks the guy in the ------
Gotta love that film...
Old Guy and the others all had great replies.
I liked the last answer, a lot! There really isn't a pat answer that suits everyone, so coming here and get... (read in full...)
He wants to be FWB
Q. I am a teen girl and this guy I had a crush on wanted to be friends with benefits. We had never really spoken before and I was confused. I said yes at first, but then I changed my mind before we actually did anything. He was nice about it and ...
A. 21 April 2009: Well, I would be more worried about the "FWB thing" than if he tells anybody!!!
FWB is an arrangement where guys get sex and girls get nothing but a reputation and are used. Girls really don't enjoy sex until they are with a guy who is willing to l... (read in full...)
How can you make a woman feel sexy?
Q. Hi there, Simply put, I'd like some ideas on what can you do/say to make a woman feel really sexy......
A. 21 April 2009: Play this song and pay close attention to all the words in it.
The lyrics speak volumes!
http://www.mp3lyrics.org/b/bryan-adams/have/
... (read in full...)
Am I considered a virgin?
Q. My now ex-boyfriend and I were fooling around while still dating. I was a virgin, and whilst wearing a condom, he tried to actually penetrate me. He might have gotten in between a centimeter to an inch or so; enough for it to hurt, but not enough to ...
A. 20 April 2009: I think that you are lucky that you are still a virgin, because you put yourself in a very precarious position. If he had been a different kind of guy, you would be talking about date rape and not "I changed my mind".
You shouldn't be lett... (read in full...)
I want to change my studies but mydad is so proud of me!
Q. hey guys, basically i'm a student, i left school and went to college for 2 years to study health care, i am now in my first year at uni. the thing is, i am only doing nursing because it's what everyone wants. well.. my dad has always sort of pushe...
A. 19 April 2009: Well, I'm coming from the other end of things. It's one thing to not follow your chosen degree, but it's such a waste of time to NOT get that degree after spending time and money on it. The degree will always be on your CV and you can reinstate it ... (read in full...)
Longtime boyfriend doesn't propose
Q. I am together with my boyfriend for 6 years now. We live together for 5 years and we match well together. We have had hard times, but now we have grown together, have many things in common. The thing is that he claims he is "free bird", never had ...
A. 19 April 2009: I would move out and move on. He has made his feelings quite clear. If you are in the 35 year old age bracket, sitting around waiting for him to "change" is just wasting your time, if you want marriage and children.
Next time, don't move in. ... (read in full...)
What can I do to make sure I am 'tight' for our wedding night?
Q. Eight and a bit years ago, I was 13 and raped by a stranger in a parking area. I'm now turning 22 and have not done sex any time after that. I'm engaged to a man I been with for 5 years. he knows about my being raped those many years ago and has ...
A. 19 April 2009: Try these exercises and google Kegel.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kegel_exercise
They are helpful in maintaining your pelvic floor muscles, throughout your life. This will become even more important after giving birth and after menopaus... (read in full...)
What do I do if this comes back?
Q. Earlier today at school my friend offered me strawberries to eat. I said sure I will eat some. I asked my friend for a fork because my hands was dirty. So then my friend searched in her backpack and gave me a fork. This was when the classroom was ...
A. 18 April 2009: You should never leave a concern about your health to a website. If you have a concern about your health, then consult a Doctor. We aren't health practitioners, we are just Agony Aunts. ... (read in full...)
Help! Struggling with abusive partner and it's making me ill.
Q. Hi I really need some advice about my partner. We've been together for about 5 years during which time he was going through a divorce from his estranged wife. Over the years I noticed more and more that he can be verbally abusive. He said that ...
A. 15 April 2009: It's been my experience that when people age, they often become "more" of what they have always been, often in the extreme. It would seem that you have been a loving partner, but missed the signs, I'm afraid. Whether or not he has become this way ... (read in full...)
Been together for 2 years and he still doesn't want to meet my parents?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and he thinks it's still too early to meet my parents. He is 50 and I am 43. Is this normal?...
A. 15 April 2009: He doesn't want anything serious if he isn't introducing you at this age. Other than that, I can't imagine what he is waiting for...
Unless he is expecting for them to both to expire...
In which case he's going to hell and I am having another ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks I flirt too much!
Q. hi, my bf thinks i flirt to much but i dont think i do, he thinks laughing with some other guy is flirtying, flirting is oart of my personaily, i am trying hard to work not flirt, so can you help me please, what should i do...
A. 15 April 2009: Trying isn't actually doing anything. Saying that you are "Trying" simply gives you an out... an excuse.
This time, stop trying and Do what you said you would do.
It's really quite simple, Stop flirting!!!... (read in full...)
Do you think my g/f tells her friends that I'm small?
Q. Hello I'm 18, and my question is...does size matter? Becasue for me I am only 4", is that normal for my age? I just get embarassed becasue I mistakingly see a friend of mine and he is a lot bigger than I am, and I am too scared to talk about it...I ...
A. 15 April 2009: You are well within the "average" at 4". A flaccid penis that is larger than yours most likely will NOT increase in size in quite the same way that a penis that looks smaller will, once the blood starts to engorge them both. His probably will ... (read in full...)
My mother in law is totally against me breastfeeding my daughter.
Q. My mother in law is totally against me breastfeeding my daughter. Since her birth she has told my husband that breastfed babies are not as smart as bottle fed babies, that our sex life will not be the same as long as I am breastfeeding, and the I ...
A. 15 April 2009: She wants you to bottle feed your child because she selfishly wants to be able to feed the baby too. It's a pretty rotten way to sabotage a good, healthy start in life, considering that breast is best, and it has been recognized as the best way for ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has cheated 6 times and I don't know how to get him to stop
Q. I just found out that my boyfriend has cheated on me yet again. This is the 6th time that this has happened and I keep taking him back. The girl called me and said that he was with her on Valentines day when he told me that he had to work. I found ...
A. 15 April 2009: I am sorry, Hun. The fact is, the only person whose behavior you can change is your own. Stop taking him back. It's the only solution, I'm afraid.
You'll never be able to trust him and you should probably do this as soon as possible, befo... (read in full...)
What is a "courtesan"?
Q. what is a courtesan?...
A. 13 April 2009: They were high class call girls or prostitutes. The term comes from the 16th century. Most were highly trained and educated to become kept women and playthings for all types of rich, important married men. They were only highly regarded by the ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my mom I'm going sky diving without her suffering a stroke?
Q. My mom worries a lot...A LOT. She worries the boat will capsize when I go fishing with my buddies! As a result, I tell me mom very little of the risky stuff I do. I don't tell her when I drive a motorcycle. I don't tell her when I go rafting. I ...
A. 10 April 2009: Hahaha! Lol! Yep. That's true! I have a 27 year old... There is a reason why I dye my hair... I'm just glad that you aren't 17 and living at home. Yep, at your age, as long as friends know where you are, you have my permission to hide things ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my mom I'm going sky diving without her suffering a stroke?
Q. My mom worries a lot...A LOT. She worries the boat will capsize when I go fishing with my buddies! As a result, I tell me mom very little of the risky stuff I do. I don't tell her when I drive a motorcycle. I don't tell her when I go rafting. I ...
A. 9 April 2009: If your Mom is high strung and a worry-wart, then you probably are sparing her feelings by not telling her *ASSUMING* that you are actually an *Independent Young Adult* and not a dependent living under her roof. Your question does NOT include your ... (read in full...)
With an age difference of 31 years why would he be interested in me?
Q. Is it possible for an older man 52 to love a younger woman 21. Why would a older gentleman be interested in having a family with someone this age instead of an older experienced woman who would have her priorities together like him. ...
A. 6 April 2009: At 52, most women are finished with child rearing. Men are "hardwired" buy nature to seek out mates who are fertile! With a relationship with this kind of age difference, you have to make sure that you are both expecting the same things in a ... (read in full...)
What is cute? How do I melt her heart?
Q. Ladies, whats the best way to ask you out and melt your heart? I like my female friend, we are very close, we have made out too but insisted it was mistake. What do ladies consider cute? What could i buy etc?...
A. 6 April 2009: If you have asked her a lot of questions about herself and her interests, make it personal. We like to know that we are special to you and that you are paying attention! It's different with every girl! So listen when she is talking about what it ... (read in full...)
Ways to get rid of cellulite?
Q. Hi there girls, can any of you give me any advice on how to get rid of cellulite?? ive recently lost alot of weight and have a good diet. i also try to do an hours exercise 4 or 5 times a week, and drink lots of water. I feel happier with my ...
A. 6 April 2009: I have heard a lot of great things about Bikram Yoga, not about cellulite though. It's yoga under sauna-like heat and is supposed to be great for your health.
I've also heard that lotions are a topical application, and the cellulite is far deep... (read in full...)
I'm interested but he seems 'clueless'! How can I make this clearer, without being obvious? Suggestions?
Q. Ok, so l just told my best friend that l am quote, "interested" in him, but he's completely clueless, and doesn't understand what l'm trying to tell him. l have heard that he's bi, so that's not a problem. l have to be obvious, but not too obvious, ...
A. 5 April 2009: If you have heard that he is bi, and it's a *reliable source*, the only way to find out if he likes you is by being very direct.
Try "I am gay and I really like you, not as a friend, as a boyfriend. Could you feel the same way about me? Can we s... (read in full...)
How is a marriage supposed to feel after the wedding is over?
Q. I'm about to get married in August. I'm 22, he's 26 and we've been together for 3.5 years. He's my very best friend, he's going to be a great father to my future babies and he makes me very happy. Not to mention, he's great in the sack! Okay, TMI ...
A. 5 April 2009: After we are married, will we be:
a) Best friends who have sex
b) Best friends who raise children
c) Feel passion towards each other
or
d) All of the above?
D. You can have all of these things.
Well, I think you have gotten some good ad... (read in full...)
I'm interested but he seems 'clueless'! How can I make this clearer, without being obvious? Suggestions?
Q. Ok, so l just told my best friend that l am quote, "interested" in him, but he's completely clueless, and doesn't understand what l'm trying to tell him. l have heard that he's bi, so that's not a problem. l have to be obvious, but not too obvious, ...
A. 5 April 2009: Try being blunt. Bi, gay or straight, I'm not sure that subtle works with any guy... LOL!... (read in full...)
My girlfriend won't give me blowjobs any more...
Q. Right I'm new to this but here goes. I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years, we have regular sex (almost every day) anyway about a month ago she said she's no longer going to give me blow jobs, I asked why and she said she doesn't like it ...
A. 3 April 2009: Well, in a culture where a President of the Untied States has influenced a generation's entitlement expectations on the subject, and FloRida has just covered an old song, but changed the lyrics - "You spin me right round When You Go Down...?", the ... (read in full...)
Hugging someone from the opposite sex in a friendly way vs. more than friends?
Q. I have heard that there are different types of hugs and kisses in terms of just friends or something more. That is understandable; I just never thought of it that way. How do you hug someone of the opposite sex in just a friends way? How do you ...
A. 2 April 2009: This definitely changes from country to country, so always observe what other people do first! Usually the lower half of the body doesn't touch in a hug between friends. A full body hug is reserved for only our most intimate partners, family and ... (read in full...)
Broke up but he still responds to me
Q. does anyone know what are the signs that a partner that has just broken up with you still has feeling for you? My partner has just broken up with me and says wants to be friends and is not going walk away, but, still calls me babe on the odd occa...
A. 1 April 2009: He broke up with you. When guys say that they still want to be friends, I think that they really want the other person to forgive them and not think badly of them, not give them hope and that they are only separated. If he is sending mixed ... (read in full...)
How many women actually orgasm during vaginal sex?
Q. I've heard it's possible, but that it doesn't happen very often because it's hard to stimulate the clitoral complex this way. I've still never had sex, though I've orgasmed before through fingering, but I'm just wondering, are fingering and oral sex ...
A. 1 April 2009: Less than 25% of women can come by vaginal penetration alone, and than isn't about your performance, it's about the way a woman is hardwired. The fact is, most women, 75%, need further stimulation of the clitoris in order to achieve orgasm. And ... (read in full...)
I feel that my sister has taken part of my identity away
Q. I'm really insecure and envious, help! Ok, in 2007 I started college. I was the star of my program, because I love what I do and it comes to me easily. My (older) sister had dropped out of Law School, and she took that year off. She wanted to st...
A. 31 March 2009: Sometimes in life, we appreciate the things that we have had to work the hardest for - Perhaps you could study law! LOL! But, seriously...
Many people change majors after a year of school. I'm sure there are statistics on this phenomena, but my h... (read in full...)
If sex is good and beautiful, why is it called or referred to as the nasty?
Q. If sex is good and beautiful, why is it called or referred to as the nasty? What can be more beautiful than seeing another person, especially one you care about in the nude? What can be more enjoyable than being close to the one you care about??...
A. 31 March 2009: Al fresco?
But not in Chicago these days...
Common, warm weather...... (read in full...)
I'm being teased for being frigid!!!
Q. I am just turning a teen and all my mates are snogging their boyfriends and not only have I not yet kissed a boy but I am also being teased for being frigid. help!...
A. 31 March 2009: Of course you are not frigid! At your age, following the crowd just to please them isn't the wisest of things to do. The Mom in me wants to ask "And if everyone else jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?"...
You should just wait until you find... (read in full...)
Can long term drug use cause erectile dysfunction?
Q. I have been dating this man for 5 months, everything is so great and perfect-except for the bedroom. He has a problem keeping it up. Sometimes it works and everything is wonderful, but there are a lot of times when it just dies before we even ...
A. 30 March 2009: There are many more reasons why a 42 year old would have erectile disfunction besides drugs, unfortunately. And you were a bit evasive about drugs - do you know for a fact that he uses drugs? There are many different drugs that long term use of ... (read in full...)
I let alcohol mess me up. How can I say I'm sorry?
Q. DC readers have always helped me out and now I REALLY hope you can help me. I have a great relationship with a friend of mine who I would hope to one day make my girlfriend. I have screwed up before and she has always forgiven me. We are best...
A. 30 March 2009: Well, you know at your age alcohol isn't an excuse for bad behavior that is was when you were a teenager, so you are wise to look into this further...
You could make up for a lot of your behavior by going to AA meetings and learning about why you ... (read in full...)
A rushed wedding? Advice please!
Q. My boyfriend is in the Canadian army and we have been dating for a year and three months now. He recently was told by one his advisers that during his leave in august he should get married because in October he has to move to another base and he ...
A. 27 March 2009: You've been given a lot of good advice. I have to agree with those who have brought up the Marriage part as being the thing that you should be focusing on most.
What kind of marriage have you pictured yourself in?
If you are okay with being on... (read in full...)
| *irdynumnums's friends
These are mutual friends, so *irdynumnums has
added them and they have added *irdynumnums!
|
